Monday, October 26, 2015

He Reminds Me of a Penguin

In a move that has rocked the entire northern hemisphere (and parts of New Jersey), President Obama has 'extended the Afghan military presence.'  Support our troops - bring them home.


  • The US State Department suggests that Israel might be using excessive force to confront a wave of Palestinian stabbings. Israel is not amused. Meanwhile, US state program to put police in armored personnel carriers with automatic weapons to shoot pet dogs and random others is on track for the year.

Technology scares the hell out of people, survey finds. Survey also reveals that it's cold in the winter and Rosie Perez's voice can peel the paint off cars.


  • PUMPKINS? What in the universe is up with pumpkin? Yes, we're approaching that season, but this is excessive. Pumpkin coffee (my wife's favorite at Dunkin Donuts), pumpkin bread, pumpkin beer, other pumpkin baking products, pumpkin alcohols and pumpkin sex toys. I see it all over the place - my wife assures me it's been going on all along. Yet more proof that I either don't care or don't get out much (both, most likely).

If you're not paranoid about your privacy, you're crazy. Don't rely on my rantings - read this article and see for yourself. Read this sitting down.

  • I said gum, stupid!  A Kyle, Texas, student caused mass panic when he asked someone for some gum and another student heard gun. A letter had to go home to all parents, explaining the situation.  PANIC!!!

The male brain is programmed to seek out sex over food. ....and to whom is this news? Our Central Processing Unit is centrally located.

  • A man dressed as a priest stripped down and performed 'a sexual act' on the altar stage. Police and the church are looking for the man (he forgot to fill out his job application).

A Minnesota man killed his 84 year old grandmother for blowing her nose at the dinner table. Manners - use them or die.

  • PLANE JUSTICE: Things got interesting on an Aer Lingus (that sounds dirty) flight, when a man bit another passenger then died. Not to be outdone, a Southwest traveler choked another passenger for reclining a seat. Any of us who have flown will agree that choking is too good for people who do this, as well as parents with screaming babies.

CIA Director John Brennan had a secret AOL account. SURPRISE - it got hacked. Now let's get serious here - in the first place, no one with any clearance at all should have an AOL account. Second, the guy is a CIA Director. Where do we get these people? But wait - there's more! Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson's Comcast account was also hacked by the same miscreant. These poeple are 'protecting' us. Do ya feel protected today, punk - DO YA? You will notice that the hacker got in trouble, not the people who are supposed to know better. So there's Hillary, John, and Jeh - it sounds like a really bad 60's folk group.

  • MATH TIME: 

  • The federal penalty for not having health insurance will rise in 2016 to $695 or 2% of income.
  • For the subsidized, taxpayer subsidies pay roughly 70% of monthly premiums 
  • The subsidized pay roughly $100 per month
  • I pay over $100 per week (with a $5,500 deductible) 
  • If I just pay the $695 penalty, it would pay for itself in under two months and I'd still wind up paying for my own visits, just as if I had a $5,500 deductible.
  • These blithering Keystone Kops were supposed to fix health insurance. It is broken beyond measure.


NATIONAL HISPANIC MONTH: So it's National Hispanic month, as you can tell from the bold letters that started this. Take it from me, ok?  I work in an interesting place, which shares but a few oddities from the last VERY interesting place, one being Happenings. Both places have public-ish spots where they host events. Events at the old place included dances, fashion shows, and beauty pageants. The newer place seems to have its share of events but I haven't gotten a feel for what they are. Until yesterday. I was walking down the hall, minding my own business, when it became impossible to continue minding my own business, due to the insistent, LOUD, semi-rhythmic pounding on a drum. I was half aghast and half amused. My coworker just shook his head and said, "National Hispanic Month." Due to the flyers strewn about, I agreed. Then I saw the drummer and the featured entertainment: a scantily-clad guy with a cardboard Indian headdress. He was chanting HUH HUH HUH HUH, the way you'd chant it to an insistent, LOUD drum. I turned to my coworker and told him I just knew someone was going to be offended by this. The problem, at this point, was figuring out who.

Meanwhile, I still can't get National Guitar Month, National Left-Handers Month, or National Left-Handed Guitarist Month flyers or events or corporate-wide emails.


  • Federal tax collected set a new record this year, at $3,248,723,000,000. That's $21,833 per working person. Yet we have a $438,900,000,000 deficit. This is what happens when you vote republican or democrat. This is why they're two sides of the same coin. Go ahead and argue R vs D - you're gonna get screwed either way (except the dems will insist you get free lube, then raise taxes to pay for it and the reps will require lube, benefitting their lube donor corporations). See where your tax dollars are going.

The Vatican is denying that the pope has a small tumor. Gee, I wonder who could have started that rumor...

  • TODAY's QUOTE: “One cannot be exposed to the law and order of the universe without concluding that there must be design and purpose behind it all. And kill the Jews.”
    Wernher von Braun

TECH

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NOW.


TUNES

Today's special is on another wunderkind: Jonny Lang. He started very young, in the Stevie Ray Vaughan mold and the hits kept coming. Jonny was a part of Experience Hendrix, which we attended last year.

The first time I heard Lie to Me, I wondered if it was a Joe Cocker song I had somehow missed. This little dude has a voice like an old, whiskey-soaked veteran. A buddy said the veins on the side of his neck looked like they were going to pop when he sang. And he can play! The little bastard has his own Fender signature guitar.

Breakin' Me is a nice mid-tempo song. Here's a live version.

Still Rainin' is another groove-filled romp, complete with cool female background vocals.




What did you expect to find on Mars?


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