Monday, October 5, 2015

What is this.. Morning of Which You Speak?

The Czech presidential flag, which flies over the palace in Prague, was replaced with a pair of giant red underpants. This further shows how far America has slipped in creativity and protest. Any suggestions for what should fly above our executive palace (White House)? A giant condom? FOR SALE sign?

  • In England, there has been an outbreak of 'Super-gonorrhoea'. Yes, Super-gonorrhoea: faster than a speeding Chris Christie, more powerful than Kim Kardashian's ass, able to leap large Colombian prostitutes in a single bound - it's Super-gonorrhoea!  

Why has someone put out an album of Taylor Swift covers?

  • Captive Snake With No Male Companion Gives Birth, Again.
  • Popemageddon continues.
  • Microsoft writes its own linux.
  • This is the END TIMES, people.....

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson (uh-oh, Tom) said that Muslims are unfit to be president. His campaign apologized for the remark and stated that what Dr. Carson meant to say was that African Americans are unfit to be president.

  • Because of the probability of a nuclear deal, Iran is ratcheting down its rhetoric. Instead of weekly rallies with cries of DEATH TO AMERICA, THE GREAT SATAN, future weekly rallies will feature  NEAR-FATAL WOUNDING TO AMERICA, THE GREAT SATAN.

Secretary of State John Kerry says the US is ready to take more refugees (200,000). Skull and Bones to pick up the tab.

  • The Great Unwashed are at it again: Obama supporters sign petition to nuke North Korea. This also explains the story this morning on women voting for Hillary simply because she's a woman.

Companies are offering sex reassignment in their health benefits packages. Meanwhile, I still have a $5500 deductible, Mr. President.

  • Interesting fact: through the years, Protestants were afraid of a Catholic president because he'd impose his religion on the country.  Unlike the Protestants and the rest of the Christians

Defense bureaucrats are bashing numbers into a database in a bid to develop what the agency hopes will become an automated security scorecard, assessing vulnerability exposure across the country's networks and weapons systems.  A national database of hackable items and vulnerabilities - what could possibly go wrong?

  • 49% of US citizens say government is an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens

The Pennsylvania Attorney General has been suspended from practicing law.  Note that she has not been suspended from being the Attorney General.

  • A US pharmaceutical company bought the rights to a 61 year old medicine and promptly raised the price 5,000%, from $13.51 per pill to $750 per pill. The pill costs about $1 to manufacture. The CEO said they need to make a profit. UPDATE:  "We've agreed to lower the price on Daraprim to a point that is more affordable and is able to allow the company to make a profit, but a very small profit."

I'm learning that what happens in Florida should have stayed in Florida. It usually involves copious amounts of alcohol and is relatively bizarre.  This month's winner would have to be the couple that got drunk (told you so) and decided to have sex in their closet (don't ask me). Drunk Female called out her ex's name twice. Drunk Male became enraged and killed her (as any reasonable person in Florida would). The manner in which he dispatched her left pools of blood and 'stuff' all over the place. Stay. Out. Of. Florida.

This beer-soaked example of humility and grace is said not to be related to this Danish gem, who was found to have the genitals of 21 women in his freezer. For some reason, he does not reside in Florida.

  • SELFIE NEWS:  Selfies killed more people this year than sharks. An embarrassed spokesman for sharks said they would try to do better next year.

Parents killed their two-year-old daughter because they thought she was possessed by demons. Kim Davis not available for comment.

  • Scotland has 421 words for snow. And, according to tradition, you can't understand a single one.

Lancaster, CA has introduced iris scanners for school buses for special needs students. It's for the children.

  • Donald Trump says he's the rare republican who can woo black voters. "Negroes love me. I have fried chicken and grape soda."

No greater an American legal authority than the pope has stated that government workers have the right to refuse gay marriage licenses. His Holiness also said Hillary's use of an external email server is unconstitutional and called President Obama a pussy.

  • A New Hampshire man stole $1,000 of drills from Sears and left, making chicken noises. Because elephant noises are better for stealing couches.


AVG Antivirus has announced it will begin selling users' personal data to advertisers. There is allegedly a setting in AVG that will stop some of this but I don't use it so I'm not positive. Please check it out. One alternative is Avira (also free). Please read the fine print.


Les Dudek doesn't get a break, although you've no doubt heard him. He helped with Boz Scaggs [Silk Degrees]. He played with Cher (pre-facelifts) and Steve Miller. He also played on the Allman Brothers' Ramblin' Man - check out the tasty guitar work and vocals. He makes the most of a trio format. That voice does not seem to belong with that man. As soon as I started listening to Les, it hit me like ton of bricks - he had a lot to do with the Allmans.

Gonna Move has a great groove and has been covered by many artists. Is that an African Blue? Beautiful plumage.

Old Judge Jones sounds like it should have proven a hit. Works for me.

Jailbamboozle is a cool title as well as a cool tune. You can hear Jeff Porcaro and David Paich (from Toto) on drums and piano. Bizarro 70's groove.

One of my favorites is Deeper Shades of Blues. After enjoying it, I realized that this song is essentially Still Got the Blues, by the late, lamented Gary Moore. No idea which came first.

GUITAR PLAYER BONUS: Here are Dickie Betts and son showing you how to play In Memory of Elizabeth Reed. Why hire a second guitarist when you can breed one? The DNA definitely delivers.

 Yes, it's a Chow in a stroller

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