When It Rains, It Pours. And It Doesn't Stop.

We're cleaning the house, although I'm not exactly sure why.

Mrs lefty is leading the Cleaning Charge, bless her.
She generally leads the Cleaning Charge.
I'll be honest - she always leads the Cleaning Charge.
She's a cleaner: I'm a knowledge worker.

Nobody here is blessed with any grace.  To put a finer point on it, we trip over our own feet. Sometimes we trip over others' feet. It's a pretty dangerous combination.

We have our routes through the house down fairly well. We can move without additional tripping or attempting to fly and failing. As Stuff is removed, the pathways get larger (yay!). However, the thing I don't understand is that we're tripping quite a bit more. With all that additional space, my clown feet are finding more things to send me airborne, then floorborne. With a clear carpet (we discovered carpet under everything), I somehow manage to kick something that's off to the side. Wife somehow manages to trip over her own feet, although this might not have anything to do with carpet (we think it might be the combination of the level floor and her feet).

The only area of the house we refuse to clean is the steps, for obvious reasons.

• Bill Cosby has been declared a 'sexually violent predator' (like all comedians)
• The only remaining question is whether they serve Jello pudding in jail

I have a great idea for the Jurassic Park endless series of movies...
Jurassic Park: The End -where an asteroid falls to Earth and destroys the park.




Today's Best Headline: Man who posed as a housewife pleads guilty to making secret sex tapes with 150 men.

A Florida man (of course, Florida) enjoyed dressing as a woman, put ads in locals about being a bored housewife, had men over, and had sex with them. He taped the goings on and put them up on a website (because it isn't sex until somebody videos it).

I vaguely remember having one sex class in grade school, so perhaps I'm a bit behind (pardon the pun), but I vaguely remember there being several significant differences between men and women. I don't care how dark it may have been - there are several things that are known to be giveaways, namely facial hair, lacking breasts, and least of all, a penis. Any of these things should be cause for alarm, if one is a straight male and determined to stay that way.

No, really - a penis?
How does one fail to notice a penis?
Even the most diminutive apparatus still qualifies as an Outie, where we would expect to find an Innie.
We must assume they were using the rear entrance. If so, how does a swinging bit escape consciousness? She could have a really really large clitoris, but they don't come in that size. Is this what they call cognitive dissonance? Active denial? Rug burn?

After the encounter, the crossdresser put the video up on his website.
Gentlemen, if this isn't enough to put you off quickies with strangers, I don't know what is. The John has a pretty good chance of not being recognized, as the site is a pay site, and ever so slightly gay.

The way I see it, if you're going to meet a stranger for an encounter, you need to do a tiny amount of research... grab the crotch. If she hits you, you were at the right place. If she smiles..... RUN.

And in the name of all that is holy, stay out of Florida. There are weird people there.



Not as great a headline, but still good: Robot brothel planned for Houston gets pushback from religious group.

Just when shy and/or ugly guys think they have a sure thing, religion is there to throw a cold shower on it.  The religious group fights sex trafficking, which is a pretty noble fight. They're concerned that this will set them back.

Why? Will this encourage robot trafficking?
Are people unable to tell the difference between a human and a robot (like they can't tell the difference between a female and a man in a dress)?

The Good Fight doesn't end there, though: the group states that the brothel is going to teach men to become rapists.

Why? Are they training them to be priests?
Perhaps they should ask Nevada, which has areas where brothels are legal. If nothing else, it's training them to pay for sex, which is great practice for the real world.

As if this weren't silly enough, they add: What's next - child robots? Where's the line?

Do you think we're that stupid or are you that stupid?
I've had sex with my wife for years. At no point did this lead to me wanting a child (for sex or via procreation).

The one great thing to come out of this is that the religious folk referred to it as a Public Masturbation Business. That's funny.

• Excited about Apple iOS 12? It has a quiet addition: it gives you a trust rating, based upon the number of calls and emails you send and receive. This is to help spot fraudulent transactions made from your phone. Bless their pointy little "we're all about privacy" heads.

According to the World Health Organization, alcohol is responsible for one in 20 deaths worldwide.

Let me correct the assertion: People pouring alcohol down their throats and driving or misbehaving is responsible for the deaths. Alcohol doesn't drive cars any more than guns shoot people.

We have a long standing War on Drugs. We're winding up a War on Opiates. Why is it ok to drive drunk? To commit violence?  Think about it.

• Do you have a Twitter account? Do you ever use the Direct Message (private) conversation function? 

• Twitter on Friday said that a recently-patched bug in its platform enabled software developers to read users’ private direct messages or protected tweets.
• Well, it's time to call the lawyers. Whatever it is, Twitter will screw it up. They're so busy kicking out undesirables, they don't care about their own security. I can't have my plans for World Domination leaked.... 

 A recent study on people's perceptions of browsers' Private Mode produced some interesting results. Understand that Private Mode offers you no more security than normal browser windows. In theory, it deletes your online activity. In practice, it doesn't always. Over here at the ThermionicEmissions sprawling complex, we concentrate on making the browsing as anonymous and safe as possible, PLUS having everything deleted when we exit the browser. It really doesn't matter if we've been looking up the safety record of Caterpillar heavy equipment or interesting uses for squid; when we tell the browser to forget history, we expect it to forget the bleedin' history. 

Along these lines, Google has updated Chrome's privacy policy. 
The moniker 'privacy policy' is about as accurate as calling tax regulations 'Legal Ways to Avoid Taxes'.  Especially interesting is the way everything winds up getting back to Google, whether directly or indirectly. Work diligently to stop this nonsense. Avoid Chrome and browsers built on Chrome.

I've recommended Iron as a Chrome build that doesn't phone home to Google. A recent 'privacy policy' proved this is not entirely true. It's very sneaky and indirect. There is an open source variant called Chromium, but I have little hope for it. I installed it recently to test it out and wasn't impressed. Avoid this crap.

• Many famous UFO cases occurred around military bases with nuclear weapons.

Here's a brief reminder on Constitutional Amendments, from some guy with a blog and no training:

To the people going on about freedom of speech being abridged on social media, you have no freedom of speech. The First Amendment guarantees that the government will make no laws abridging freedom of speech. This does not hold for Faceyspaces, Twitter, Google, Instagram, and any other crap you sign into and whine publicly, while looking at cat gifs.

While people would prefer freedom of speech extend to private entities, it doesn't, and that's reality. It's a shame people with resources and reach are not aware of this. This includes James Woods - a man with a documented spectacular IQ and observed wit.

Two days ago, James Woods, a very outspoken conservative, had his Twitter account suspended for retweeting a gif. He was told if he removed it, his account would be reinstated. An unidentified high-level Twitter person stated they were protective of the Democratic Party and were unhappy about Woods' retweet. It's been supposed then admitted that Twitter has an extreme left bias. This is their right, whether people like it or not. Honestly, it pisses me off, because I think all sides should be heard. The left is cheering because people who disagree with them are being silenced, while they should be upset that anyone is being booted for speaking their mind. It might be their own people next time. If Twitter's policies continue, it will simply become a left paradise. Again, this is their right.

There are some really tricky and vague legal machinations that can be used to curb this behavior, including the ability to prosecute based upon Twitter's initial claim of free speech. There are also some net neutrality laws that may apply.

The libertarian stance isn't that hard to figure out: our mantra is "Leave me alone." Another is "let the market decide". Along those lines, there is GAB, whose motto is #SpeakFreely. Every viewpoint is welcome. Unfortunately this includes speech with which we disagree: antisemites, holocaust deniers, and nazis. Currently it's pretty right wing, with a smattering of libertarians. The left is welcome, and there are a few. You are free to mute anything you don't like, as on Twitter. Unlike Twitter and the others, there is no censorship.  Oddly enough, the only censorship demands are coming from providers, Google, Amazon, and Paypal. Their domain hosting and servers have been threatened multiple times because entities don't like what a member said. This smells of collusion, but is pretty far from my area of knowledge.

Passed Over

I'd like to wish my Jewish friends a Happy Passover.
But I can't, because it was a little while ago.
So I'll wish them a happy end of Passover.
The end of Passover, as I understand it, is the happiest part of Passover.

What is Passover?
Way back in the times when Charlton Heston parted Bea Arthur's hair and men rode on armed Chevrolet platforms pulled by octopi; Jesus had, through no fault of his own, become dead. This was later featured in Monty Python's Life of Brian. The Romans, a cheerful group that occasionally nailed people to wood, nailed Jesus to wood. Then they did what every forward-thinking civilization does - they put him in a cave with a huge rock in front of it, so his dead body couldn't escape. Well, Jesus showed them.... he came out of his cave in February and saw his shadow, indicating that everyone was in for four more weeks of pretending a rabbit is going to bring you candy.

Jesus was in no mood for this sort of thing and passed over everyone's houses, guaranteeing that Air Traffic Control would have to lie again and tell everyone there was no unidentified flying lord on their radar that day. And to this day, the holiday is celebrated by the Jews with matzoh, because they couldn't eat bread during the time Jesus passed over their house, because the village baker was on vacation that week. The baker's apprentice was on a bender, having been to see the Dead the night before. This was before Jerry grew a beard.

Now, allow me to share another tradition that is not taught in your comparative religion class...  For reasons unknown, Jews tend to buy too much matzoh and 'kosher for Passover' food for Passover. Considering that matzoh tastes worse than the cardboard box it comes in, overestimating the quantity borders on the insane. So at the end of Passover, there's all sorts of kosher food left. What is kosher food? In high school, my Jewish girlfriend said it was food that a rabbi spit on. That was good enough for me. If I didn't agree, I was going home by myself, so she was always right.

There is also something called guh-fil-ta fish. Don't bother asking me how it's spelled - it's spelled the way I spell it. The girlfriend showed it to me once. Your traditional fish, they come from water. You fish for them, they bite the hook, then you take them home to a woman, who guts them, throws them out, and cooks frozen fish she has on hand for just such emergencies. Guh-fil-ta fish does not come from water; it comes from a bottle. No, really. Ok, there is some water in the bottle, but it's mostly this very strange clear jelly, which doesn't show up on the periodic table. The 'fish' doesn't have a tail. Or eyes. Or any other characteristics that would identify it as a fish. Or even something that was alive at one time. It looks like...ummm... a sort of almost colorless almost gray.. ummm.. turd. There's really no way to describe it... run down to your supermarket this minute and look for a jar. It's craggy, like the surface of the moon, from where it's thought to originate. It is virtually flavorless.. more of a texture, like a fast food burger or something you make out of a cat. As if this weren't enough, they dip it in this Purple Stuff. Being the good boyfriend, I did. OHMYFRIGGINGOD WHYDIDN'TTHEYTELLMETHISSHITIS HORSERADISH? It is the most potent form of horseradish known to man, disguised as Purple Stuff. It was my girlfriend's family tradition to burn someone's nasal tract to hell every year on Passover. To this day, I cannot deal with purple food and never grew back my sinuses.

Mrs leftystrat's buddy celebrates Passover, and thus winds up with lots of leftover matzoh. Every year she asks Mrs leftystrat if she'd like some. Every year, Mrs leftystrat gets excited and says she loves matzoh and would be happy to take some. Every year I ask why anyone would voluntarily eat that stuff and besides, she never eats it anyway. Every year she lists the things she can make with it, number one being fried matzoh. I saw fried matzoh once. Only once. I shall attempt to describe it thusly: take a dry, flat, moistureless cracker, and fry it. In essence, you have Deep Fried Cardboard, with extra grease. Each piece weighs ten pounds and everyone claims to love it, although you never see anyone actually eating it.

Within two days, a five pound box of matzoh shows up, unopened. I told you there's overbuying.  Five pounds of matzoh is enough to feed an entire village in the time of Yul Brynner's shiny, bald head. And he died of cancer... draw your own conclusions. The matzoh sits out in a very conspicuous place for a few days, then goes to the pantry. Where it sits until at least the next Passover, by which time it hasn't expired. In fact, matzoh never expires - it's just a conspiracy by the Matzoh Lobby to sell more.

And that, folks, is the Secret Passover Tradition.



Say, it's around the middle of April, isn't it....?
That means it's Tax Time!
Tax Time: when you have to pay more of your money, or you get some of your money back, without interest, because the feds aren't interested in you.

Cheech and Chong, a married couple (their names were changed to protect the IRS) waited til the last minute, as they did every year, to file their taxes. They purchased an expensive tax program because their situation was weird. And who wouldn't have a weird situation if they had names like Cheech and Chong?

They fired up their tax program and for no particular reason, Chong turned ugly because she couldn't find her tax paperwork. She had only made three million dollars last year, which was a significant loss from the previous year's marijuana growing operation profits. Cheech asker her when she would like to start, as they were kinda due on this very day and Chong replied by suggesting something anatomically impossible, followed by telling him if he was so eager to start, perhaps he should start.

In fear for his life, Cheech put in his information and his earnings. Then it was again time for Chong, so he asked her for her paperwork. I CAN'T FIND IT but I can get a copy online. Cheech observed that she couldn't find the floor, then decided to keep that thought to himself; he had grown rather attached to his genitalia.

After establishing that the paperwork had mysteriously been eaten by either the house or the invisible goat, Chong decided to get the information online. And by get the information, I mean have Cheech go online. Whenever Chong tried to go online, she broke out in a cold sweat and the computer always wound up stapled to the front of the house, in a small bag of dark metal shavings, next to what remained of the monitor. Cheech went online, to the federal site, to get her information.

Oh no... you can't get your information on the site unless you set up an account. CHONG - what's your account name?

I don't have an account.

Ok, let me set up one for you.  Hey, it says there's already an account with your name. Did you set one up last year?

No.

Let me do a recovery for people who can't remember their names. Ok, your account is CHONG1234.

NO, MY PASSWORD IS CHONG1234.

You can argue with me if you like, but the site itself said your account is CHONG1234.  What's your password?

GODAMMIT, HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

The cat knew what was coming and retreated to the tornado shelter.

Let me see... ok, there's a password recovery. Ok, I.. oh wait... they are going to send you the password. In the mail. In 5-10 days.

THAT'S NOT GOING TO HELP ME. YOU NEED TO FILE FOR AN EXTENSION.

Oh, look... here are your security questions: what's your mother's middle name?

My mother doesn't have a middle name.

Ok then, just wait for that mail to arrive. Perhaps you should call and ask.

SURE - I'LL SIT THERE FOR HOURS, WAITING FOR THEM TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND TELL ME THEY CAN'T DO IT.

Play stupid - people will help.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO DO?

Cheech had a few suggestions as to what she could do, but decided it might not be a good idea to use his outside voice.

An hour later the problem was solved. The customer service person was unfailingly polite. She could not provide the password, but freely gave out the info Chong needed. Don't bother thinking about this - it will only cause serious headaches, resulting in your inability to understand Survivor.


Meanwhile in PA:

After, through some sort of miracle, we managed to file our tax return, we had to file the state return. Since the stupid tax software only runs on Windows, I had to bring up Windows. This is distasteful to me. I shudder involuntarily.

One of the good things about Windows is how it identifies hardware that you plug in. Since I needed to print the return, I plugged the printer in, waited too long, then got an error message that it couldn't install the hardware.  Funny, linux installed it in a blink of the eye.

Off I went to get the Windows driver.
Wife breaks out in a cold sweat when she has to do taxes. I break out in a cold sweat when going online to get something specific or ordering tickets or most transactions. This was no exception. After several clicks, I closed my eyes and clicked a few more times, eventually winding up at the drivers page. It correctly identified my operating system and helpfully told me it could not pull up the list of drivers - maybe I could reset the operating system and hit the update button. Only there was no update button, just a change button. So I updated and changed and it refused to let me. When I reloaded the page, it again correctly guessed my operating system again, and couldn't find the list of drivers again.

I can't download drivers from an official website for a huge printer company. Huge. Do you see why I break out in a cold sweat? Every time I need something. I tried two browsers, including [heaven help me] Internet Explorer.

So I rebooted into linux, the One True Operating System, and printed the file.
Windows: it's not an operating system, it's a virus.

• Seven students at an elementary school in Maryland cut their wrists at school using blades from pencil sharpeners.
• Well, I guess we're going to need pencil sharpener control.
• Oops, a ban on pencil sharpeners was announced.
• Things are going to look really weird when the district finishes banning everything the students can use to harm themselves or others. The kids will have to remove shoelaces and belts before they hit the metal detectors, which, instead of guns, will check for pencil sharpeners. Shirts and pants can be used to hang themselves, so they will have to go. Since children are cruel little bastards, they will pick on underwear, so that will also be forfeited. Then some parent will accuse first graders of raping each other so genitals will be banned...

You probably heard about the Southwest plane that was forced to land at Philly International after an engine blew and threw shrapnel through a window, which almost succeeded in sucking a passenger out a window. She was pulled back in by passengers and given CPR. Unfortunately she died. A tremendous job was done by the pilot and passengers. The passenger was the first death in an accident involving a US airline since 2009. This is some safety record. Condolences to family and friends.

• We mourn the passing of Barbara Bush (92). She seemed like a really good person. Her choice in men was questionable...

Starbucks is closing over 8,000 stores for racial-bias education day.

What about gender bias?

Unconscious transgender bias?

Secret Antisemitism?

Latent Latino bias?

within a few years, they're going to have to recover from Cracker Bias.

• A panhandler stabbed a man with a steak knife in New York City when the man refused to give him money.
• SHIT. Prepare for knife control.

A transgender woman is claiming discrimination because she was booked into the male section of the Sacramento County Jail. The jail promised to send her some money when it gets a job.

The person identifies as a transgender woman. I identify as a surface to air missile. What section will the drop ME into? First you have to check to see if I have the correct surface to air missile parts.

"My humanity was stripped."  Sorry, you can't say huMANity. It's sexist.

She feared for her safety in the male population. "I have female body parts; I just felt dehumanized." I think part of the problem here is that she also has male body parts.

I am not lacking in compassion. I feel compassion for the poor jail staff, who weren't sure what to do with this lady. Seriously.. if she has any more than the required male or female parts, or they're intermixed, what are they supposed to do? The woman was moved to the female population in short order. A spokesman said transgenders are always booked separately. Furthermore, the woman was put into a cell by herself, which happened to be on the male side.

Naturally, transgender advocates are up in arms, demanding transgender equality behind bars. Naturally, I have a solution: if transgender and other people spent more time IN bars, they wouldn't spend much time BEHIND them. My other suggestion is, heaven forbid, not to do the kind of stuff which would land you behind bars.

• The phalanx of lawyers hired by Bill Cosby to defend him against rape charges put their heads (or some other body parts) together and came up with a bulletproof defense: Bill doesn't like intercourse.
• In addition, they claim each one of the fifty women made it up.
• Who, aside from married women, doesn't like intercourse?

Because it's been quiet at Starbucks(?), a camera has been discovered in the rest room of an Atlanta suburb's store.  An alert customer removed the camera and took it to the manager. The manager immediately called Corporate, which asked if it took any video of People of Color using the bathroom. The camera will also go for bias training when the chain closes its 8,000 stores.

• The Jacksons are very concerned for Paris, daughter of Michael 'No Nose' Jackson, noted racist who tried to become white. Suicide attempts, self-harm, and substance use have plagued her life. 
• Grandmother Jackson became distraught when she learned Paris was dating a model/actress. Grandma is 'not a champion of same sex relationships' and 'believes she may have failed as a guardian'.
• Paris' godfather is Macaulay Culkin. Her relationships with men have been rocky.
• In what possible universe could a child of Michael Jackson turn out to have trouble?

Speaking of unrelated matters, Michael's other child, Blanket, is still suffering PTSD from being called Blanket. Matriarch Katherine put together a documentary only available to paying fans. Joe Jackson, Michael's father, said Blanket is bound for greatness, because he was told so by a fortune teller. Is Michael starting to make sense to you now?

Prince Jackson, Michael's son, has been very quiet since his teenage years. He is rumored to be in a special clinic in the Azores, for children of celebrities to learn how to misbehave and start a life of crisis and gender confusion. Prince had his first nose job at five.

I think the courts should have stepped in and taken Michael, for his own good. Perhaps then he and his poor kids would have had a chance. Prince, Paris, and Blanket: it's time to find a good influence and listen carefully.

• In Chicago, an elderly woman was found pushing a shopping cart which contained the body of a black woman. Police released no other details.
• You mean you're not supposed to push carts with dead bodies in them in Chicago? That's not what I heard.
• The elderly woman was sent to Starbucks for bias training.

Revenge porn, the practice of putting pictures or video online featuring your ex to shame them, is a hot topic on the internet. One popular site was taken down already. A Texas appeals court just ruled that revenge porn is protected by the First Amendment, noting that it usually prohibits "content based" restrictions.

As a First Amendment proponent, this is a very interesting case, which could wind up at the Supreme Court. I haven't seen the law, which covers a small portion of Texas, and is supposedly vague.

• I joke and snicker about Knife Control, as we all should. Today brings the news that a Texas mother who lost her son in a knife attack is calling for knife control, stating that the perp “should have not been allowed to have an illegal knife on him and use it to murder somebody.”
• Should we set up knife checkpoints all over Texas? If this was, as she said, an illegal knife, this proves that any sort of control will fail. And what's an illegal knife?
• It's bad enough that we have a country desperately trying to be a Nanny State, but useful idiots like this are making it worse.

RIP Coal: one of the good ones.

Houthi and the Blowfish

RARE TECH ITEM
Every now and then I veer off this blog's satirical/sarcastic bent to mention a tech item or two (not doing so is what got me thrown off my last platform).  Let's start with Windows.

Microsoft products are unsafe at any speed by design. Fact-based reminders that Windows is not designed for security, regardless of version, patching, day of the week, or whether the NSA is itchy or not that week.

• We interrupt this tech segment to bring you urgent ancient music news: have you ever noticed how bad the snare or snapping sound is on Tom Jones' It's Not Unusal is? It's way up there in the Annals of Bad Sound.  That aside, you can hear the guitar semi-clearly too and it's a good thing: Jimmy Page (you know, Led Zeppelin) played it. Jimmy and John Paul Jones were on a huge percentage of hits out of England around this time.

AUDIO TECH ITEM

I'm not what you'd call a fan but the Grateful Dead were certainly tech pioneers. No, really. From mass communications to tapers and p.a. systems, the Dead were at the forefront (even though some of them were occasionally waaaaay at the back).

• Back to the TPP. As you may remember, the president has negotiating power for really bad trade agreements and Congress has a Yes/No vote. This was rushed through and I can't imagine why. It turns out to be a gift to Big Pharma (Big Surprise). This document was kept secret from the public (the most transparent administration in history). They really need to go.

I ordered some stuff online. It took about a week. Then I ordered something else from the same place. Today I got a confirmation that my order had been updated to Shipped status. Great, I thought... I'll get the item quickly. Oh, wait a minute, they used USPS tracking. I checked online and found out that my item had been shipped and arrived in my mailbox six days ago.  Yes, six days later, I got confirmation I received the initial package. Such speed and efficiency.

• I don't know if it's circumstance or simply taking notice, but I have heard the word peculiar quite a number of times this week. Give a listen for it. It's not the sort of word one hears often, yet it plagues me like the past, in which Tom Petty haunted me no matter where I went or what I was listening to or watching.

My dog wanted to perform a bit of science the other night: he wanted to know if I could fly. This took the form of standing up as I was carefully walking around and over him. As it turns out, not quite as carefully as I had at first thought. The science proved that I cannot fly so much as plummet, slipping on some handy papers and bouncing off the coffee table onto the floor. So the dog has his answer and fortunately I have nothing but a very painful (and near-fatal) knee scrape to show for it.

• Speaking of cats, have you ever noticed that cats have a sixth sense? They know where you're going to be and place themselves there a split second before you do. As was recently suggested, it's because cats are assholes. This also explains why the cat drapes himself over the path to any door so the dog won't cross him. The dog would gladly walk a mile in the wrong direction rather than cross the cat. This is extremely puzzling, as the dog will walk right up to the cat's food bowl and nudge him out of it.

According to just-released court documents, Bill Cobsy purchased Quaaludes in order to give them to women before having sex with them (does anybody remember 'ludes?).  I guess groups of over twenty women aren't imagining things.  In an effort to make amends, the Cosby Estate is offering Rape Mansion Tours, complete with 'vitamin pills' and free drinks. Rape victims and women in general are encouraged to make appointments for personal tours.

• Wanna know what makes the country go round?  An agreement to curb Iran’s nuclear program could create a bonanza for U.S. defense contractors who already are benefiting as the Obama administration tries to assuage Israeli and Gulf Arab concerns by cutting deals for more than $6 billion in military hardware.

HOW ABOUT SOME MUSICAL MALFEASANCE?

Sho' nuff. This weeks installment of The lefty Report features that little old band from Texas, ZZ Top. Jimi Hendrix referred to Billy Gibbons (gtr, voc) as a great up and coming guitarist - isn't that enough of an endorsement? 

Sure, I could go with the hits and videos everyone knows but that would be boring and atypical. I'm heading for the more obscure stuff that shows another side of the Top.  Let's start with Manic Mechanic, a great tune from the Deguello album, featuring his signature pitch changing effect on vocals. ZZ likes to throw in some humor from time to time, along with some really cool musical tricks. Next we have Heard it on the X, a great tune about Down South Radio, a studio tune included on Fandango, a live album. Give it a listen for some smokin' Texas bbq from earlier in their career.

Check out Live in Germany for a great insight into the pre-MTV band. Pay particular attention to Fool for Your   Stockings, a favorite at the leftystrat household - Those stockins are a real cross you must bare.