Pandemic Pancakes - or - Forced Vacation, Day 10-ish

 One or two or several of the holidays are over. I think.

My friend emails, asking if I'd like to meet for brunch.

Well, sure, as long as brunch is after 2:30.

Just because it's after Christmas doesn't mean I started getting up at reasonable hours.

Off we went, to my favorite place, the one with the One True Pizza. And for the first time ever, it was closed. I was so stunned, I couldn't think of a different place to go. My friend opines that Mexican food, as well as Italian food, is made of about three ingredients. The name of the dish changes with the placement of the ingredients. When the cheese is inside, it's a calzone. When it's outside, it's pizza. When the ingredients are just warm, it's a burrito. When they're deep friend, it's an enchalito or something. Do NOT attempt to obtain the real names of these dishes from Taco Bell. Mexicans laugh at us gringos for eating there. They wouldn't feed that stuff to their dog. If you must eat there, obtain a DNA test on the 'meat.' That will probably cure your desire to ever go in there again.

We settled on a place I call "Used to Bees," because it tends to change names ever few years.  Their frozen strawberry margaritas (I told you I drink like a girl) are so potent, if you just smell it, you will singe your nose hairs.

After a long walk, we were seated. The long walk wasn't to the restaurant, or across the parking lot. It was from the front to the back of the place. Perhaps it's because I'm not pretty, I always get seated at the back, or at least out of the line of sight from the front. *I* wouldn't want me up front either, There wasn't another person for many tables. The lighting was specially designed by Stevie Wonder, so you could barely see the menu. My grandfather said restaurants were dark so you couldn't see the food. We couldn't see the menu. It wasn't just us, though... there was an entire restaurant with menus as close to their eyes as possible. It looked like some sort of cult, like Catholics. Half of the people were using their phones' flashlights, the other half using matches. The matches worked better, but the phones didn't set the menus on fire. Most of the menus looked a bit scorched for some reason.

We started drinking early. My friend was perplexed by sugar instead of salt on the rim of the glass. Don't you know - sugar makes everything better. Ordering was difficult because this restaurant delights in making things difficult for their customers. It's Mexican, so they send out a Mexican looking waiter, with an accent, making anything he says impossible to understand. I think I asked for Anthrax in my drink. The thing is, when the waiters go back to the kitchen, they speak perfect English. They spend the next seven minutes high-fiving each other. To make it even funnier, they wear masks. No one has a hope, so this makes it easier for the kitchen when everybody just orders 'a burger.'

We had to sit there until the one drink wore off, so I could drive. Apparently the manager was in a panic, because they were seating people near us. These people were very clever; they brought their own heavy accents with them, to confuse the waiters.

Speaking of reasonable, I just heard a sneeze. I went to say 'bless you' and realized I'm the only one home. Maybe it was the mice.  Although the dog frequently stares at one spot, unmoving. Maybe whatever she stares at sneezed. I'm working on the ability to just say 'mm-hmm' and go on. If I go out tomorrow and return to find the house sitting there, upside down, 5 feet in the air, I'll just say 'mm-hmm' and bring in the groceries.

Maybe it's the remnants of whatever happened last night, while I was asleep.

Before I went to sleep, I read for an hour. Sometimes I read better with background noise, so Wife helped me by snoring the entire time. As I'm getting ready to turn the light out, she looks at me and the book she's been holding up, while asleep, and tells me she's still reading. I play along, thanking her for snoring for the last hour. Since she's a/my wife, she gets agitated, closes the book, and goes downstairs for a few hours, because she obviously wasn't tired. Or snoring.

There is never a shortage of Weird Stuff<tm> happening in the house. I write about it often. Many times it's about supernatural-appearing things. Other times, it's 'cleaning.' Today it was cleaning. I say cleaning because when I awoke, there was not a single spot to sit on any couch or chair. It was like a women's clothing store exploded, coating the house with...  clothes.. There is a difference between an explosion and cleaning: cleaning causes more damage and doesn't get on the guitars. Later today, if she gets up, I'll ask what happened. She'll either tell me 'I dunno' or 'I WAS CLEANING.'  Sometimes I poke the tiger by asking if there's cleaning going on, why does it look way dirtier than before she started cleaning. Tigers, you know, eat people.

Sometimes I avoid the mess by starting up the front end loader and moving a small dump truck worth of stuff to find myself a seat. When she arrives it looks quite comical... rows and hills of clothes, me, more clothes. The bad mornings are when she doesn't see me there. I wait til she finds a seat, say hello, then wait for the terrified SHRIEK because I scared her. It would be so funny, if I didn't always wind up with the hot coffee all over me.

The Christmas presents went over pretty much how I thought they would: the kids loved theirs, and Mrs. I Want Nothing for Christmas decided the gorgeous new ring fit well. I got her one of those car magnets that says 'I love my English Cocker Spaniel.' There are so many words there, that the magnet would either have to be the width of the trunk, or the letters would have to be compressed to read 'I love dm&34n'. Right now it's holding the fridge together, but at least people walking by the fridge know we love our English cocker spaniel.

I got a rock.

But that's not all!  I also got to take out the trash.

Flying AIDS News  

Fauci made a proclamation designed to foment PANIC.

Drug companies said there will have to be more and different shots.

50% of the planet said PBTHLLLLLLLT.

President Taxit said there will be no mandates, as he drew up the paperwork for mandates and played with the new puppy, Rabies. His first dog, Major, took to biting people at the White House. For some reason, this was unpopular. Major was sent off to the Donald Trump School of Charm. Again. Who can blame the poor dog - if you spent time at the White House, you'd bite them too - it's a natural reaction.

The Dog and the Elephant Will Drive. I'll Nap.

Your love is like   last year's Halloween candy

Ok, so it was Halloween. All Hallows Eve. Samhain. Elvirahain. Halloween is when the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. And when parents drive their kids to nicer neighborhoods to get better candy. 

The past few years, Mrs. lefty, who enjoys the holiday like Cher enjoys plastic surgery, chose to hand out candy elsewhere. This left me to gather our Candy Credits. My area has candy credits, and if you don't get enough, they won't pick up your trash. I kid - they already don't pick up our trash.

So it fell upon me. This was rather a shame, as I don't like Halloween. Or kids. Or people knocking at my door while I'm masturbating watching tv. But it IS the official holiday of the American Dental Association. And to some degree, mine too. I like candy. A lot. If it can be separated from children, it would be called lefty Day. I like $100,000 Bars and Rolos. But they've got to be fresh, as in just packaged from the factory. I can tell, you know. One sniff and I'm like a bloodhound. I can't smell much else, but I knows my candy. My olfactory screwup was caused by a vacuum cleaner explosion when I was little, but enough about that.

Since it was left to me to distribute the sweets, I did what any red-blooded American would do: shut the curtains and turn out the lights. And then it hit me... we see a ton of children, but there are no children living around me. Halloween is the tax we pay to keep the children away the other 364 days of the year! I gotta go - I hear the little bastards approaching. I'll give them the large candy bars, because nothing's too good to keep the little tax collectors away from here every other day.

Today I identify as   that stuff my wife told me not to identify as

Buy Early  

With Thanksgiving weeks away, we advise you to pick up cranberry products quickly. The manufacturers are having trouble getting the cans, so the prices are going up.

I think this is great, for all the money I can save. I hate cranberry sauce, juice, and cranberry-related products. Naturally this is canceled by Mrs. lefty's love of cranberries.

When we were growing up, we always wanted to know how Mom got those lines around the cranberry sauce.

• if you can, buy a turkey for people who were affected by the Flying AIDS' money-suck. Thank you.

In case you haven't heard Supply Chain Issues enough, desktop and laptop computer prices are rising.

If you have computers that are slower than Congress, it's time for linux. It will run on computers you threw out years ago. There are distributions specifically made for older hardware. Even the newer ones will work. Installation runs about 20 minutes for me, no matter which. You can even test drive it without affecting what's on the computer by trying out the Live feature.

Have I mentioned you won't be profiled, used as a customer, and your data won't become property of Microsoft, NSA, and whoever else?

• Another year, another ridiculous Rock and Roll Hall of Fame back-patting induction ceremony
• This year: Jay-Z
• Show me where Jay-Z plays rock and roll........... I'll wait........
• He joins <wait for it...> ....  Tupac

Faceyspaces just changed its name. To Fecespaces. 

Internal documents show that Facebook has been actively hiring employees to build products that target children as young as 6 to expand its user base.

Do you not believe me when I say Faceyspaces is evil?

• Startup That Wants To Let You Fly Helicopter With an iPad Gets $200 Million
• I can't imagine anything going wrong here.... 
• the explosions would be spectacular and would make a great tv show: The Masked Copter Crasher

An underwater pumpkin carving competition has taken place off Key Largo, Florida.

I truly think this is the new face of democracy. Put Congress underwater, with knives and pumpkins, cover with a metal grate, then let democracy work its magic. It's not exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind, but the existing system has been corrupted beyond belief. Did I mention no air tanks?

• NASA (Never A Straight Answer) proposes new methodology for communicating the discovery of alien life.  Ummmm.... the SPACE agency is not finding new life, they're worried about communicating its discovery.... Your tax dollars at work.

You're gonna love this: back in the early 1900s, banking services were provided by the US Postal System. Billions were banked with them. It is being suggested we go back to this system.

Sure, that's a great idea. It would be like Jeffrey Epstein starting a babysitting service.

The USPS can't be trusted to get a letter next door, First Class is being devalued, and the entire service has gone down the toilet. Yeah - let's give them our money too!

• I forgot - there's a local election. I don't have to remember... the democrats start texting me. They think my name is Shakila and I live on the other side of the state. They can't keep a list together and they want my vote?
• you can't force them to stop, either. Politicians wrote themselves an exemption to the spam laws.
• there's no central place to cancel this spam - you an only cancel it per-call.
• it then becomes my job to annoy them back. Usually mentioning the 2nd Amendment puts them right off. Telling them the Rs and Ds are 2 sides of the same warped coin. Tell them we want government out of our lives and to stop being the Nanny State. Remind them of President Taxit. It's Libertarian Time!

Happy Birthday: Lyle Lovett

Happy Death Day: Jimmy Carl Black (drums, Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention)

• The UK now wants to throw online trolls in jail
• UK citizens - it's time to call your people and do some protesting... want to get thrown in jail for offending someone?

President Taxit appeared to nod off during the climate conference's opening remarks

They promised him a Tootsie Pop if he managed to stay awake for the 'important parts'

• Rodent-infested Popeyes in D.C. shuts down after video shows rats running around kitchen, climbing up walls
• If that ain't a metaphor, I don't know what is....

Best Headline

Florida ‘Teacher of the Year’ arrested for hitting pupil who criticized award

You ask what about the happy news - why is there none of it?

Ok, there is a resurgence of syphilis in the US

Normally things like 'cable management' and 'organization' start my sirens and make me run screaming out of the office. The 'concepts' in articles are way too fancy and even more expensive. Plus I wouldn't be caught dead using any of it. The odds are in my favor, though, as no one can get into my office to see any of it, sometimes including me. I found a neat article on 22 best desk accessories that I actually hve to recommend. Sure, a few of them are downright silly (a foot hammock?), but there are some really useful gadgets, and not all of them are over $400 or have designer names.

According to the Wall Street Journal, favorite news source of the homeless, Apple is bringing car crash detection to the iPhone. Never one to rest on their laurels, other types of detection are in the pipeline:

1. lets your undigested food know if a crash is imminent, so it can leap back out your esophagus (thank you, Mr. Pither)
2. detects an impending argument with your spouse (just figure you will be)
3. detection of new, wildly overpriced accessories  (stays on all the time, for some reason)
4. new iPhone model detection, so you can start lining up in front of stores
5. detects the person in front of you not using turn signals  (also on all the time)
6. lets you know if you're about to be shot
7. detects there are too many detections

As if your government wasn't large enough, the Pentagon has hired a Climate Czar.

Among his suggestions for cleaning up the environment

• make all ICBMs electric
• install nuke charging stations at all convenience stores
• use only 'clean' nukes
• replace gunpowder in all bullets with climate-friendly flour
• convert tanks to cooking oil instead of diesel
• have the NSA convert to pedal power to run their supercomputers

Flying AIDS News

• The Fire Department of New York announced more than 2,000 firefighters are on medical leave, in apparent response to the vaccine mandate.
• NYC has issued a state-wide call for volunteer firefighters from areas such as Long Island and Upstate New York
• Los Angeles County Sheriff Alex Villanueva continues to rail against the county's vaccine mandate, warning it is causing a "mass exodus" in his department
• US prisons face staff shortages as officers quit amid COVID
• Marines who refuse the vaccine will be booted
• J&J shot 3.5 times more likely to develop rare blood clots
• Judge suspends deadline for Chicago police to get shot(s)
• American Airlines canceled over 2,000 flights due to 'weather'
• the Amish don't want vaccines and were among the first to achieve herd immunity

Superman - a Bundle of Sticks

Your love is like   cholera

• Superman Comes Out, (as bisexual) as DC Comics Ushers In a New Man of Steel
• Making Superman bisexual is 'bandwagoning not brave' - actor Dean Cain
• 70 years in the closet is a long time  

Amid drop in covid rates, Dr. Lord Fauci encourages outdoor trick-or-treating and says 'enjoy Halloween'

Says it will be safe, with the following provisions:

• masks must be worn under and over Halloween masks
• must stay over six feet from other trick or treaters and houses.
• people in houses must throw candy at children's bags, six feet away. Whatever goes in they keep.
• all candy must be vaccinated

Today I identify as  a number three pencil

WARNING

• Laser vagina menopause therapy shows no benefit in trial

California's been busy, as usual, doing Weird Shit.

Sales of gas-powered lawn mowers and leaf blowers will be illegal. GET YOURS NOW. Soon only criminals will have gas-powered lawn tools!  You could make some real money, trucking them in from out of state.

Governor and head of Light Entertainment, Gavin Newsom, hath decreed that large toy stores must have an aisle for non-gendered toys. No pink or blue. No sense.

Stealthing: California bans non-consensual condom removal

also bans sneezing, murder, and running people over with bicycles

• Pentagon says hypersonic weapons are too expensive
• hang on... when was the last time the Pentagon said something was too expensive?
• They must be going with an even more expensive weapon

The Faucet

Finally having retrieved the faucet from the car, where it was hiding, I opened it carefully, lest it think I was a newbie and go SPLOING, sending all its minuscule parts all over the kitchen. Looking at the instructions, I should have taken them to the Reading Room and spent a week ingesting its wisdom.

I don't do plumbing. I've seen it done, but preferred to leave it in the realm of Magic. I prefer electricity. I'd rather change a light switch with the power on than try plumbing. They say homeowners become plumbers, electricians, and general handymen. Others say they have to, because plumbers, electricians, and handymen don't return calls or show up. Still others recommend calling the company that rhymes with Moto Scooter, who always show up, but only for plumbing. If I remember correctly, Moto Scooter has a flat fee system, wherein they tell you what the fee is and you go flat. I think sinks are $400.

The box said easy installation - all you need is a screwdriver, wrench, and a left handed smoke shifter. I was overjoyed, as all these tools were within easy reach and with 3 tools, it couldn't be too difficult! They lied. All you need is a screwdriver, wrench, left handed smoke shifter, and a plumber.

This process was kicked off by the hot water knob breaking off. Since even I won't use pliers to turn the hot water on, we needed a new faucet. The instructions were well-illustrated and in three languages, so I knew they were serious. It looked mildly do-able, plus all my friends and family said it was almost idiot-proof. You know when something is idiot-proof, they just make a better idiot, and here I am. The first issue seemed to be the traffic jam we created by running separate hot and cold into one lane. This worried me, but I decided to have faith (this one time) in the instructions.  The long and short of it is that you plug the faucet's lines into the shutoff valves.

BZZZZZT - there are no shutoff valves. 

I suspect I need the wet suit from the bedroom (don't ask).

The problem with my house is my the builder of my house. Everything is rigged and every shortcut was taken. Of course there are no shutoff valves. There may be one on the toilet, but I've never found it. I think the house did not originally have a second floor, making it very difficult to get to sleep at night. At any moment, the second floor could take the express elevator and become the first floor. The only thing I'm sure of is the humongous joists and concrete floor. Unfortunately the concrete floor is on the second floor, not the basement. We have a swimming pool, but it's more of an unintentional pool and only operates when it rains. Fortunately it's not on the second floor.

So now I've come to the first difference between the instructions and Real Life<tm>. This is very bad because my plumbing knowledge is only slightly greater than my ballet knowledge and opera knowledge combined.  I decided to flout the instructions, and start out doing things the Man Way. This means I tried ripping it apart.

BZZZZZT - the large nut holding the hot knob down also turns the hot knob. Even after I cleaned it out, every time I tried to get the nut off, the hot water turned on. Fearing this was a warning of exactly how this was going to proceed, I did the smart thing and gave up immediately. I thought this was a two man job perhaps, or at least a one man job for someone who knew what they were doing. Since the men in the house totaled one, I had to wait til the woman got back from the shoe store, where she was praying to find me alive (or dead) when she got back. (if I were alive, I'd die when I saw what she bought)

They say there is always a silver lining and there was: I got all the dishes washed without hurting myself or the dog.

• Windows, aka The Great Titanic, needed to reboot on the work computer, making it so much easier to type this. You cannot stop it, not even with a note from the principal.

The first Arab mission to Mars is yielding significant data.

There are a few minor problems, though... 

• ship can't figure out which direction to turn to pray
• kept firing on the Israeli satellite
• backup computer kept getting fouled with beard hair

Chevy Bolts have been recalled, for new battery packs. They, too, have been spontaneously combusting, and they didn't want to be outdone by Tesla.  In fact, Chevy is boasting more battery fires than Tesla already. Remember the days of the internal combustion engine (last week), where there were no fires? Twenty years from now, auto manufacturers will boast about their battery-powered vehicles, stating there was a small period where they had to get the battery technology right...

• Study reveals Android phones constantly snoop on their users
• SHOCKING

In an interview, Paul McCartney finally let loose that John Lennon actually broke up the Beatles. He wanted to fly solo. When reading the interview, it reads best if you substitute Yoko for every instance of John Lennon.

• Germany unveiled the first self-driving train
• Germany is very efficient: more dead if the train crashes vs self-driving cars

France: Train kills three migrants lying on tracks

Hey, let's lay on the train tracks - what's the worst that can happen?

Flying AIDS News

• Southwest Airlines, the military, and more are Very Angry about vaccine mandates. Southwest crew is suing, no one else has gotten them. Southwest. 
• Speaking of Southwest, they are experiencing their 5th day of serious cancellations and have yet to convincingly explain why.
• 911 System In Jeopardy As First Responders Reject Jab
• Texas Governor Greg Abbott bans mandatory vaccination in state
• Wisconsinites plan to sue “every school board” that ignores CDC’s COVID advice

Her: Come look at this in the basement

Him: I can't see. Gotta flashlight?

Her: let me remember where I put it. Oh, here it is.

Him: battery's dead.

Her: let me find another one

Him: You have 52 flashlights, there has to be one that works

Her: sorry

Him: ok, we need batteries. Let me put them on the list. Gotta pen?

Her: Can't find one.

Him: You collect pens. We have more pens than individual specks of dust. Why can't I ever find one?

Her: Your socks are still here, in pairs, so maybe the pens go wherever the socks would go....

Him: I need a drink. Please tell me you can find one..

There's a war brewing. You want to keep your head down because it gets nasty.

Yes, I'm talking about jimmies vs sprinkles.

We've always called them jimmies. Never heard of sprinkles til recently.

Wife is very upset.

I just want to stay out of firing range.

So William Shatner finally made it to space.

He had comments....

• Who in their right mind would send a 90 year old man into space?
• Dammit.. why didn't Sulu fire on Earth when I ordered him to?
• Somebody tell them I'm an actor - I've never really been in space
• What do you mean Spock's dead?
• If you don't behave, I'll sing... I swear
• can I get a nurse to clean me up, please?

India man jailed for killing wife with cobra in Kerala

The snake bit the sleeping woman but not the guy who carried it to the bed?

Didn't he have the smarts to be 'out of town' when this happened?

Death penalty demanded: no mention if for husband or snake

Trainspotting with the Blind

 Your love is like  herpes duplex

I just looked at the stats for the blog. Google/blogspot gives out some stats, but they're almost impossible to figure out. I pretty much trust the ones about which operating systems access this blog. In the last week, only one was linux. I am very upset about this and appeal to good sense. In fact, if I don't see more linux hits, I'll... I'll... continue to ignore the stats and say nothing.

• What is Philly famous for? Soft pretzels and cheesesteaks
• if you were at one of the most famous steak places, Pat's, you might have seen the shooting.
• Philly: Come for the cheesesteaks, stay for the shootings

Today I identify as  the slow guy when the lion chases the sightseers

I hate to get all serious, but....

UPPER MERION TWP, Pa. - A procession was held on Sunday for a Montgomery County firefighter who police say was killed by a drunk driver while he was aiding a two-car crash on the Schuylkill Expressway over the weekend.

Q. When will this stop?

A. Never

You irresponsible fscking drunks. You cost lives. There are taxis, Uber, friends, and hotels. Haven't you been alive long enough to see the Don't Drive Drunk commercials? You made a really bad decision and now a man is dead. And it's not like there are only a few of you. Both cars involved had DUI drivers.

• I'm putting together a prodigious beer belly. The only problem is that I don't drink beer. I asked the doctors if maybe I'm pregnant. They remind me of my gender and assure me that's not the case. They suggest the medicine they gave me. Sometimes I feel hung over, which also suggests alcohol consumption. But I don't really drink. I could be pregnant on one of those immaculate conception deals. They point out my extreme lack of womb. Well, if it's the medicine, how about a different medicine? No, this one works. It is extremely easy to make this sort of pronouncement when you're on the pen side of the prescription pad. Let's see YOU use it for a few weeks, then I'll consider it. Putz/

The Olympics are happening. I learned years ago that Olympics is capitalized. I remembered, but can't remember why. It's more fun hearing news around the Olympics than watching them. Like the tremendous amount of condoms used by the athletes. It would be pretty cool to have a Condom Blowing Up event, but alas, no. How about Live from the Olympic Dorms: Athlete Sex? THAT would be some ratings there, lemme tellya. Even the people like me, who don't like sports, would tune in for that. Except maybe for the Russian teams, if they still look like they used to. The Russian women's ballet team looked just like the Russian male football team.

Yeah, I don't like sports. It also seems silly that skateboarding is a sport. Maybe volleyball too. You know the ancient Greeks didn't have skateboards. Digs of ancient Greek sites never turn up skateboard parks. Greek literature does not contain a single "oh wooooow duuuuuude". I smell a surfing event next. This won't go well when the judges keep drowning.

Maybe it's time for some real sports.....

• the jar opener
• building demolitions
• pub crawl - last one standing
• picking up a supermodel

Printer ink continues to rank as one of the most expensive liquids around with a litre of the home office essential costing the same as a very high-end bottle of bubbly or an oak-aged Cognac

• my cousin is pregnant. Very pregnant. We visited the other day. She said she really doesn't like that people feel they can come up and touch her belly without asking. She's fine if they ask. I watched Mrs lefty touch her belly. I've seen this trick before, so by the time she asked me to touch it, I was already in the car.

The dog is out making friends again. The other day, at a convenience store, Wife was on the way out and noticed 2 police cars and 3 policemen around our car. They all thought Penny was gorgeous and wanted to pet her. 

Back when Marshall was sick, Wife would drive him around because it relaxed him. She got pulled over at 3am for suspicion of Bad Things and explained what was going on. Also at the convenience store, she heard one policeman talking to another about Marshall. They knew about him.

I guess it's almost like having cute kids... I dunno....

• I found out way later that there was a conspiracy around getting Mrs. lefty and me together. It involved the staff of two professional offices. I'm stupid, like most guys, and wouldn't know it if it beat me over the head. We had lunch one day, and that was IT. She hit me like a brick wall. I hope you were/will be as lucky.

Flying AIDS news

CDC to reverse indoor mask policy, saying fully vaccinated people should wear them indoors in Covid hot spots

Just making it up as we go along.

We. Have. No. Idea.

COVID surge in unvaccinated is pushing US to more mandates, masks, mitigation

Fauci Wants to Make Vaccines for the Next Pandemic Before It Hits

We. Have. No. Idea.

Bet on Rand Paul against Anthony Fauci

...on funding of Wuhan lab 

Covid passports: How do they work around the world?

vair ah your paperz?

PG&E Will Bury 10,000 Miles of Cable to Stop Sparking California Wildfires

for the second time, PG&E has been caught with their electrical cables down, causing wildfires in California. So they're going to bury the cables, at a cost of $15-30 billion. Guess who's going to pay for it?

Tokyo 2020: S Korea TV sorry for using pizza to depict Italy

you can't make this shit up

Olympics Broadcaster Announces His Computer Password on Live TV

Role model for any idiot with a computer....

Amazon reportedly has a ‘key’ to thousands of apartment buildings in US

So, they have their cameras in and out of your house, they know everything you order, and now they have keys to your apartment building. For an additional charge, you can adopt an Amazon employee. Yes, you can sponsor one of these poor line workers, who have to pee in jars because bathroom breaks were too long. If you order now, you get this nice t-shirt, with the picture of an Amazon worker, sorting boxes on the assembly line. We had to stop the part of the program where you could write to the Amazon worker you sponsored, as they are not allowed to take breaks to read your emails.

Bachman Turner Overdrive 1975
back when they used to be Bachman Turner Overweight