Captivity - Day 82 Revenge of the Windshield Wipers

I've been telling you something's up with the weather, as it's been incredibly nice for days in a row. That was my first clue. My most recent clue is that taking out the trash cans, having them picked up, and returning them is always accompanied by rain. Thus far, there has been no rain. Do you see what I'm talking about?

Speaking of the Great White North, I was watching a few documentaries on a famous ufo event in Canada and came across this one. Aboot 35 seconds in, right after the deep-voiced announcer stops talking, are interviews with 2 townspeople. Listen to their accents. Tell me if they require subtitles.

You're not gonna believe this, but I found a conspiracy in this video. The accents are so,.... ummm... original, on purpose, so you won't concentrate on the content.  OK, maybe not, but this is a real sighting, involving many in this town, the RCMP, coast guard, and the US navy. The US navy... investigating a submerged ufo or 2, in Canada. Go figger.... The incident has been heavily researched and there are lots more videos on it. This is a talk by the main researcher. I was confused, because he said 'abote' instead of aboot.



It's almost here... Bill & Ted Face the Music - same cast, including the bereft of life George Carlin. I liked the first 2 movies.




I watched her this morning.
As long as I live, a woman taking her bra off under her shirt will always fascinate me.

And fart jokes will always be funny.



My dogs develop bedtime rituals.
Marshall, bless him, would come up to me in bed and I'd scratch his ears for a few minutes, every night.  Penny runs up to my pillow and licks my forehead until she has to be physically removed from it. Any doggie shrinks out there?




Dear Mr Star Hoagie Maker:

We have to talk.
Remember the order a few days ago? Let me give you some feedback. Maybe it will help you in the future.

When I say no mayonnaise, it is not up for interpretation.
Like many people, I do not put mayonnaise on meat. Aside from being disgusting to me, it has the unintended benefit(?) of making the innards slide out the other side. I took a bite and everything inside rocketed out the other end, onto my plate (thankfully). So here I am, holding my meat, providing a little constructive criticism.   Note: the same applies to anchovies.

I realize you have a menu and probably have to turn your brain off to work an 8 hour hoagie shift - I don't blame you. This is more of an observation: when a customer gets a choice and says 'surprise me,' it doesn't look good standing there, stammering, stopping, attempting to speak, and having to go far inside to gauge the meaning, then saying "Huh?" This doesn't bother me at all the first time. In fact, it's kinda funny. The second time it loses its luster.

Lastly, when you take an order and tell the customer it will be 15-20 minutes, it's tremendously bad form to lose the order, surprising your coworker who had to ask the customer what his order was and tell him it will be another 15-20 minutes.

I hope you are well, Newbie, and your hoagie skills blossom. I want to come back frequently.






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I can't help myself.
Don't read past here if you're not interested in Floyd, Black Lives Matter, and looting news


In the 1st Amendment department, in New Jersey, there was a counter-march to Black Lives Matter by some white guys, who re-enacted the Floyd murder. Thus far, a Fedex and an NJ corrections officer were fired for taking part. Everybody from the mayor down was horrified. Freedom of speech includes speech of people you find abhorrent, folks. Would they still be working if they were on the BLM side?

Viral photos show Walmart locked up African American hair products, but not cracker hair products. Naturally there's OUTRAGE across the world. Here's another place where you are NOT allowed to bring up the truth.


Peaceful march drone surveillance came under fire by democrats and republicans. These are the same people who re-authorized and expanded the Patriot Act to unlawfully spy on you.


A statistically-gifted policeman in Tulsa, Oklahoma, said "We're shooting African-Americans less than ought to based on crimes committed." He will be very popular at the marches.


HBO pulled Gone With the Wind.
The 1939 film has long been considered controversial for its depiction of Black people and its positive view of slavery.  Orwell Comes Alive.

Ghana Invites African Americans to ‘Come Home’ in Wake of U.S. Protests.

The only problem I see here is that Ghana was a hub for the slave trade, so the demand for reparations would still stand.

Bringing in the New Year with a Carburetor

You've probably heard about the 'tic tac' UFOs (UAP - Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon) and seen the Navy footage of the ship tracking them. You've heard the government's admission that there was a 5 year, $22 million project to study them.

My response was immediate: "Bullshit"
The footage you saw was most likely real - I'm no expert. Interviews back it up.
The 'admission' of the 5 year study is ridiculous for anybody taking a glance at the topic. I can tell you without doubt that the government (most likely a compartmentalized group) has been studying UFOs since at least 1947 (Roswell) - probably earlier (there were three official explanations of Roswell). It's apparent that the topic has been studied by the accounts of the events:

• serious-looking men in suits, coming to the debriefings, confiscating all documents and footage, and saying 'this never happened and you are all sworn to secrecy'. [the famous Men in Black]
• Military officials telling residents of Roswell that if they ever talk about the event, their bones will be buried so far out, they will never be found.
• a plane leaving Roswell the evening of the discovery, going to Ft Worth and Ohio (Wright base, now Wright Patterson). This is documented.
• a saucer crashed in Roswell, per the army base commander. The next day, it was a weather balloon, per the commander's boss(es).
• Reports forwarded to branches of the military or government, in spite of the official statement that they are no longer studying UFOs.
• Congresspersons and presidents have asked to be briefed on UFOs. They have been refused and told they don't have a sufficient security clearance to know.
• The government has repeatedly lied to us on the topic, as well as deliberately misdirected (swamp gas?)
• The US is called in to help other countries with UFO incidents.

Does it really look like we aren't studying UFOs? 

In addition to the above, I smelled additional shenanigans. Watch what's coming.... whether we're getting 'slow disclosure' or being prepped, something is going to happen. Whatever happens might be manufactured to look like something it isn't, to benefit a powerful group. Hypothetical scenario: we now have a Space Force. We have been studying UFOs for 5 years. 'Something' anomalous appears in the skies. Oh no, it's UFOs! We're obviously going to have to heavily invest in our Space Force, to defend the planet. Who benefits? The only group that benefits from all wars: the Military Industrial Complex.

The hypothetical scenario wasn't mine... it belonged to the father of rocketry, Werner von Braun, as told to Carol Rosin. So far, all of his predictions on reasons for wars have come true. The final one is space.

As for 'disclosure', I remained incredulous.

What I didn't put together, til watching this video, was the effect this particular bit of 'disclosure' was having on the larger debate. The topic has made it into the mainstream. Even the talking heads are talking about it, and not saying conspiracy theory, little green men, or whackos. Mainline publications are discussing it. So the topic is now out there, with the complete absence of slurs. Something is getting out there. I remain doubtful that it's the full story, or even the right reason, but we'll see..... I encourage you to think before you react to whatever surfaces.

Absent my above objections, this is a good thing.



Unrelated (I hope): reports of large, multiple drones over Nebraska and Colorado. No one is stepping up to claim them. They're large, so probably not hobby use.  Let's do the science: shoot one down and see who comes knocking.



Dear lefty

• Have you heard any good New Years' resolutions?
• Yes.

PRO TIP: when setting up Bluetooth devices, make sure there are no other Bluetooth devices in the area. Attempting to pair headphones with both a laptop and cell phone was enough to drive the Dalai Lama into a homicidal frenzy. In the end, I successfully connected the phone to the laptop, but only when the headphones are on.




Absolutely infuriating to me is the sugary beverage taxes, as applied in Philadelphia and other cities. While the studies may or may not be sound, we can all agree that it's probably not the greatest idea to consume mass quantities of soda, in America, we (allegedly) have the freedom to make that decision for ourselves. Until Nanny State stepped in. Label the crap out of it, like ciggies and booze, if it makes you happy. Don't make my decisions for me. It was also pointed out that the tax has a disproportionate effect on lower income African Americans in the city, who drink the stuff because it's cheaper and have less ability to go to suburbs to buy it without the tax (I'm just repeating it).  With this logic, we'll need to tax red meat (more), fried foods, candy, cheese, and anything that tastes good. Do I agree on ciggie and booze taxes? No. Any time more money is needed, they pile it on cigs, because less people will complain. I think smoking is disgusting, but we're all free to make our own decisions on it. How many people are killed in drunk driving incidents, yet we turn away and keep buying drinks, as if that can't happen to us (mixed drinks are also taxed in Philly).

Here's another sweet tidbit: the World Health Organization concluded that taxes of 20 to 50 percent(!) are most likely to be effective. No. Absolutely not. Let the rest of the world do what it wants, but we're a sovereign nation. We should not be dictated to by the UN or the WHO, in addition to being able to make our own decisions on food.  Did the Founding Fathers fight, die, and bring forth this country so its government could try to dictate what you can eat via taxes?

"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."   Isaac Asimov

Iran's Supreme Leader, Great and Powerful Beardo 'Muff' Mohammed, says to president Trump:

"1st: You can’t do anything. 

2nd: If you were logical —which you’re not— you’d see that your crimes in Iraq, Afghanistan… have made nations hate you."

I can't decide whether to go with 'even a broken clock is right twice a day' or 'he makes a point.'

• One quarter of world's pigs died in a year due to swine fever in China
• the rest took office

The US, Europe, Russia, and China are launching rovers to Mars next year, to look for signs of life. This explains our taxes. To the best of my faulty memory, we already sent one. It didn't find any signs of life. Will the next one(s) not find life differently?  Hey, I've got an idea: why not combine efforts; it will cut costs and provide some cooperation/collaboration. Maybe we already did... the rovers' AI will join them all together and become sentient.



Today I identify as   Crunchy Frog




New Years' Resolutions
it was inevitable...

1. avoid becoming a social media 'influencer'  [I've got a head start on this]
2. remove memes from the internet, then the planet
3. a Special Place for everyone who takes an IQ test and flunks
4. Not to kill anymore coworkers  [don't ask what my resolutions are at a work meeting, ok?] 
5. to remember that if there are no pills on the table, I already took them. I think.

I'm still wondering about the Coast Guard getting malwared.

Do you feel protected yet? Do ya?

It's a new year and you're probably asking yourself how the KGB bugged typewriters during the Cold War... in the American embassy.

In yet another shocking event, a 'smart camera' owner is getting pics from other random peoples' homes. I need a little graphic that says TOLD YOU SO. And if I had any talent at all, I'd make one.

Didja ever notice the sameness in the names of pr0n stars?

If there were only a way to export them and run some stats.

Oh shit - did I say that out loud again?

For normal people, without my kind of intellectual curiosity, you can check out what your pr0n name would be. This tool proved invaluable at my last job, where I had to explain cunnilingus to my female coworkers. No, it wasn't a fireable offense.

SJW Shit

A company called American Girl just released the first doll with hearing loss.

Other dolls coming later this year:

• Irritable Bowel Barbie
• Quad Amputee Carl
• Deaf Dumb and Blind Kid
• Dyslexic Debbie
• Depressed Dora
• Total Paralysis Pete
• Trans Toni/Tony

The president of Marvel Studios says a trans character is coming 'very soon' in a film.

Hey Bob, watch what happens when I hit the afterburners!

Blog? You Call This Thing A Blog?

Best Headline:

1 person sent to hospital after drinking internet personality's bath water.

No really... there's at least one young female making a bundle selling her (used) bath water. Is this one of those apocalypse horsies I always hear about?


Speaking of selling your bath water, the latest trend is going to a store and licking something from a package, like ice cream, then putting it back. Of course you video yourself and post it on the net.

Remember Ariana Grande? She went into a donut shop, picked up a donut and licked it, then put it back, stating that she hated white people. For once, she was ahead of the curve.

One person caught doing this faces up to 20 years in prison. I wonder if the trial will be livestreamed on Faceyspaces and become a trend....

The police apprehended one of these people and arrested him for tampering. The fellow showed them store video of him purchasing the item after the stunt, but he got arrested anyway.


UPDATE: The girl selling bathwater (or one of her friends) is also selling urine, as Gamer Girl Pee.

I don't do sociology, but I want to know that sociologists are saying about this.




Dear lefty:

• Why is my display so dirty?
• Too much one-handed typing.

NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory was hacked for nearly a year without being detected. It was discovered in April 2018 and NASA temporarily disconnected several space flight related systems from the JPL network.  

In other news, the Mars Rover, NASA's coffee machines, and several lunar simulators belonging to JPL have all stopped working....


Do you have a MAC and use the videoconferencing service ZOOM?
Don't.
A security researcher discovered a flaw that allows to turn on your webcam without your knowledge or consent. The second flaw is that it installs a web server on your computer which stays there, even if you delete the software. This means things can be downloaded to your computer without your knowledge or permission. The company patched the first item but chose to leave the server, for 'user experience'.  

Don't use Zoom


Researchers discovered over 1,300 android apps collected data when you denied permission.


The US Coast Guard issued a safety alert following a cyber attack:

1. Do not use your computers under water
2. Use protection, personally and on your computer (they didn't).
3. There is a 90% probability your bunkmate does not want to play Hide the Salami.

• Microsoft partners told they're no longer getting free software to run their businesses.
• Partners should look into a free OS that is free of licensing and free of MS. We might know of one.....

Things We Can Do Without

1. Wasabi ice cream
2. the Duck Decoy Museum
3. bagpipes

UK News

In an interview, Boris Johnson said he couldn't wait to get his message out. The interviewer suggested perhaps showing up at debates might help. Boris terminated the interview, but allowed that he might send his lawnmower to the debates next time.

The British Labour Party continues to deal with antisemitism allegations. A party member resigned because he couldn't deal with the level of antisemitism. Labour said they regret his resignation and wish the goddamn Christ-Killing Jew the best.

In yet another move for world diplomacy, President Trump referred to the UK ambassador as 'wacky,' and a 'very stupid guy', after the ambassador referred to him as 'the kind of person who is tall and has good teeth', in a leaked paper.

Not satisfied, Trump then scolded Teresa May for not taking his advice on Brexit, then failing totally. Comments were immediate, saying that Brexit was none of Trump's business. The comments came during the protest against Trump's border policies.



UPDATE: the British Ambassador resigned.

Although my diplomacy skills are rough (largely nonexistent), I'm wondering about this affair. The way I see it, if the Prime Minister asked for a report, advice, or observation, the fellow was in the right in giving it. The leaker was a cheeky little bugger who needs a lesson. Was the ambassador correct in making the assessment? If so, leave him alone. If he was wrong, he should resign. So far, this is only a show (politics as usual). The issue here seems to be that he got caught. Will the ability to avoid this be the single criterion for his replacement?

Would the US do the same thing?

Please correct me if I'm off here or this is not how diplomacy works.

Note: I'm just asking about the process. I am not commenting on the note, the accuracy of the note, or Trump.

• RIP Rip:  Elmore Raul Torn, Jr, aka Rip Torn (88).
• Charles Elmer Taylor, aka Rip Taylor, is still throwing confetti.

Mrs lefty came home from shopping (never a good omen) and showed me her bounty. She tells me she saved me $100 on these shoes. Suspending disbelief, I asked her how. Well, these shoes were on sale, as were these... $100 off the bill!

That's nice, Dear. By the way, I just saved you $1,000.
HUH?
Well the left handed guitar shop has a Custom Shop 1958 Strat. If I ordered it new, it would be $4,000. Since it's used, it's only $3,000. I saved you $1,000!

Turns out savings doesn't work both ways.

• I love recruiters. Just received info on a job 5 hours away. I politely declined, stating the 10 hour commute would be too much.
• What is wrong with these people?

SJW Stuff

Salon magazine: exposed: The Declaration of Independence is sexist, racist, and prejudiced.


Bette Midler tweeted that it's 115 degrees in France and Trump is only interested in putting tanks on the mall for a salute to himself. 36k likes. I'm a fan of hers.

Twitter: where you find your favorite stars' personal opinions lack any sort of discernible logic.

Perhaps she wants the president to load up an aircraft carrier with window air conditioners for the people of France. Or send emergency ice. Will she carry air conditioners and do a USO show for the troops? She can sing her hit, "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy Who Voted for Hillary."



Remember Antifa - the anti fascists?
Remember they committed acts of violence against people who didn't agree with them in Portland? With masks on?
Remember how they and their friends honestly believe they can assault people because they deserve it (for showing up and disagreeing nonviolently)?
Remember how the police did nothing, under orders of the mayor?

One day, Antifa is going to protest in the wrong neighborhood, say somewhere in Texas. There will be some dirty diapers that day. Open carry is a religion in Texas.

I really don't want to see this. No one should get assaulted, milkshaked, or shot at a public protest. No matter how much you want to see someone get some instant karma. As they say online, Shit's Getting Real.

How do you convince a misguided group of people that it is not a human right to hit people with crowbars if you think they're Nazis? They're going to get way more than they anticipate.

It's almost like Divide and Conquer.

Oh.