Sensenbrenner - Half an Idiot

Wisconsin representative James Sensenbrenner Jr made some remarks at a town hall last week. When being questioned on collection of private data by ISPs, he stated "nobody's got to use the internet".

What kind of a genuine caveman (homonidus idiotus) are people electing to office? And do I really need to ask that question? Nobody's got to use the internet?

The reason he's only half an idiot is that the rest of what he said, which probably won't make much of a splash, is that the internet has worked fine all this time with no regulation, so he was hesitant to start now. Very libertarian of you.

• Two time olympic medalist James Cracknell states that North Korea is one of only two countries in the world that has "a handle on obesity."  You say handle on obesity, I say starving.

It's that time of the year... the time around April 19, when we celebrate Waco and the FBI building bombing, as well as Philly's own MOVE demolition. Always a happy time (and time for reflection on how these happened).

• If you happen to be visiting a certain African village, and who among us hasn't, you'll need to be aware of the gay baboon, who raped five men. Strangely, the African Tourist Board reports increased tourism.

A team has made a solar-powered device that can produce drinking water out of air, even in desert climates. Or they could just come to Philly, where the air is so humid, paper goes limp with moisture some days.

• Two vulnerabilities were discovered and patched in Bosch's auto dongle and smartphone app that allowed researchers to shut off the engine of a vehicle. Via Bluetooth. Why? Because the designers didn't think to allow only diagnostic messages travel around the car.  This kind of forethought will serve us well, provided we don't we don't use it. Oh yeah, and provided it's not installed in our cars. Houses. Refrigerators....

Throughout the years, there have been many complaints leading to jokes on Bose products, especially in the professional sound industries.  Their alleged hifi speakers and direct/reflecting technology had to be pushed through a ton of signal processing to make it work: this is not good for fidelity. Now we have $350 Bose headphones.  One consumer bought a pair and fell for the claim that they'd get the most out of their headphones by downloading an app. You  know, because phone apps make headphones sound better. Oh yes, you needed to provide your name, email address, and headphone serial number.  In exchange for this data, Bose would allegedly take your information, along with the songlist, and give it to a marketing company. As one would expect, there is a lawsuit.

• Venezuela has seized the General Motors plant. That should do wonders for their economy and international relations. Fortunately for Venezuela, it did not seize any US oil-producing concerns (or things could go spectacularly bad for them - see Iraq).

Ted Nugent, Sarah Palin and Kid Rock visited the White House.

I have to admit that the republican wingnuts are slightly more amusing than the democratic wingnuts. Frequently more attractive too.

You rang?

Michele Bachman: This Stuff Writes Itself

The republican strategy of unleashing cougars on the Great Unwashed is either moving along really well or completely falling apart, depending on your point of view.

The whackjobitude (yes, I made that up) factor is positively through the roof.  One never has to see the video of Sarah Palin as a beauty contestant to understand that she's vacuous.  She provides all the ammunition whenever she speaks.

Michele Bachmann has been pretty under-the-radar.  Until recently.  I mentioned before that I feel really guilty for being attracted to both of them, but hell, I'm a guy and my central processing unit is centrally located.  No surprise there.

Let us begin with the First Sign of Whackiness, the porn pledge Bachmann signed.  She is the first candidate to sign this pledge, which states that she will fight pornography.  Oh yeah, and that homosexuality is curable.

It does not take a constitutional scholar to note that pornography is protected by one of my favorite amendments, the First one.  Unfortunately Bachmann is not a constitutional scholar by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact it can be argued that her brain has been negatively affected by religion to the degree that she will stand there and rail against common sense until she has to be carried off; another raving lunatic, cared for by Congressional Health Care, which is not the same health care we proles have (if we have it at all).  Speaking of the First Amendment, no more staunch a defender than Larry Flynt has a few good legal and moral points for Ms. Bachmann.

But wait - there's more!   She also pledges to fight gay marriage, abortion, and quickie divorces.  Believe me - quickie divorces are worth whatever you pay for them.

Bachman's religious-addling should completely preclude her from any serious consideration for public office.  At very least by anyone serious about the office.  Unfortunately she's playing to the Religious Right, a way too broad constituency.

Just to show you that she's consistent, Bachmann is married to Mr. Bachmann, a guy who provides `therapy' to turn gay people straight.  I would think ten minutes alone with either Bachmann would turn anyone straight, or at least turn them away in disbelief.  Mr. Bachmann has steadfastly denied practicing this therapy but was recently caught (with his pants down?) and outed.  It also turns out his clinic has received over $100,000 in Medicaid funds.  I wonder how Michele feels about that wicked little mixture.

These are the kind of folks who are but a short period away from getting caught with people of the same sex, practicing everything but what they preach.

Just when you thought the fun was winding down for the season, good old Michele comes up with this little sparkler:

“The Lord says be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands.” – October 2006.

I'm telling you, comedy cannot be written any better than the material they lay out for us.  

So we'd ostensibly have a president who is submissive to her husband (Clinton references aside), running the country.  Wouldn't that be sweet? 

Will Mr. Bachmann take up the rod against his wife during a press conference?  Will Michele perish in an unfortunate baptismal accident?  Will Michele's mother die after Michele misunderstands what being born again means?  Will Mr. Bachmann be caught showing his love for his fellow man in the midst of curing homosexuals?

Stay tuned....