Michele Bachman: This Stuff Writes Itself

The republican strategy of unleashing cougars on the Great Unwashed is either moving along really well or completely falling apart, depending on your point of view.

The whackjobitude (yes, I made that up) factor is positively through the roof.  One never has to see the video of Sarah Palin as a beauty contestant to understand that she's vacuous.  She provides all the ammunition whenever she speaks.

Michele Bachmann has been pretty under-the-radar.  Until recently.  I mentioned before that I feel really guilty for being attracted to both of them, but hell, I'm a guy and my central processing unit is centrally located.  No surprise there.

Let us begin with the First Sign of Whackiness, the porn pledge Bachmann signed.  She is the first candidate to sign this pledge, which states that she will fight pornography.  Oh yeah, and that homosexuality is curable.

It does not take a constitutional scholar to note that pornography is protected by one of my favorite amendments, the First one.  Unfortunately Bachmann is not a constitutional scholar by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact it can be argued that her brain has been negatively affected by religion to the degree that she will stand there and rail against common sense until she has to be carried off; another raving lunatic, cared for by Congressional Health Care, which is not the same health care we proles have (if we have it at all).  Speaking of the First Amendment, no more staunch a defender than Larry Flynt has a few good legal and moral points for Ms. Bachmann.

But wait - there's more!   She also pledges to fight gay marriage, abortion, and quickie divorces.  Believe me - quickie divorces are worth whatever you pay for them.

Bachman's religious-addling should completely preclude her from any serious consideration for public office.  At very least by anyone serious about the office.  Unfortunately she's playing to the Religious Right, a way too broad constituency.

Just to show you that she's consistent, Bachmann is married to Mr. Bachmann, a guy who provides `therapy' to turn gay people straight.  I would think ten minutes alone with either Bachmann would turn anyone straight, or at least turn them away in disbelief.  Mr. Bachmann has steadfastly denied practicing this therapy but was recently caught (with his pants down?) and outed.  It also turns out his clinic has received over $100,000 in Medicaid funds.  I wonder how Michele feels about that wicked little mixture.

These are the kind of folks who are but a short period away from getting caught with people of the same sex, practicing everything but what they preach.

Just when you thought the fun was winding down for the season, good old Michele comes up with this little sparkler:

“The Lord says be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands.” – October 2006.

I'm telling you, comedy cannot be written any better than the material they lay out for us.  

So we'd ostensibly have a president who is submissive to her husband (Clinton references aside), running the country.  Wouldn't that be sweet? 

Will Mr. Bachmann take up the rod against his wife during a press conference?  Will Michele perish in an unfortunate baptismal accident?  Will Michele's mother die after Michele misunderstands what being born again means?  Will Mr. Bachmann be caught showing his love for his fellow man in the midst of curing homosexuals?

Stay tuned....