Friday, July 15, 2011

The Sexes are Finally Equal [Manorexia]

AN old coworker used to tell me that the sexes would never be equal until a woman could walk down the street in men's underwear and get laughed at.  He was a deep thinker (wonder whatever happened to him...).

Part two of Sexual Equality has come to fruition under the auspices of Manorexia.

I'm laughing so hard that it's difficult to type.

I suppose it was inevitable, though...  I will admit up front that I'm one of those guys who doesn't buy the excuse given by women who are affected by this sad disorder: that it's because of the media and models setting an unreasonable body type.  At no point did the media and models come to people's houses and snatch the food from their mouths.  It's personal responsibility, folks.  You and only you are responsible for what you put (or don't put) into your gaping maw.  Don't blame your lack of self-esteem on society.

I will also admit to a bit of an internal conflict here: I love skinny, petite women.  But that's my problem, not yours.   I prefer them anorexic - I like to hear the cartilage crunch (but I kid).

And let's be real here - it's not that men are suddenly developing eating disorders; they have always had them but only recently are they coming out of the closet in numbers (much like male victims of childhood sexual abuse).

Stated another way, the men are starting to come out of the closet and blame society, just like women.  Hence Equality.

It's going to be a long, fast handbasket ride and I'm not totally convinced it will be worth it.


  1. The average waste size on the average store rack is 36" with the range going 8" in either direction. It seems that a standard bell curve is applied to this range. Which is why, when the real average in 39.5", um, 40" in real pants, the average guy better do his shopping early in the season. It's also why there are never any pants for most of us on the clearance rack.

    That said, for most guys I know, this isn't much of a problem until an unduly offended significant other trashes a perfectly good pair of comfortable trousers.

    And therein lies the real psychological epidemic as it is revealed that a large percentage of the male population has Kohls phobia, K-mart phobia, and/or Walmart phobia.


  2. I guess the next step is for men to develop fibromyalgia and adult attention deficit disorder. Then we'll really be equal.

    Just kidding, ladies. Really. ;)