Napping Upside Down

 Your love is like  finding gray hairs

• News sites are liable for defamatory Facebook comments, rules Australia’s High Court
• oh c'mon - news is news, even if Faceyspaces doesn't like it. Australia is becoming a draconian, dystopian nightmare
• Faceyspaces apologized after AI labeled black men 'primates'
• will there be a major protest, shaming, and closing of accounts?
• stop it.

Today in Olympic news:  27 athletes denied competition because they didn't have man buns

Yes, it's back to the dentist time. My main work was done by the guy I semi-affectionately call Dr. Mengele. We didn't see eye-to-eye so I decided to go elsewhere. And when I say I decided to go elsewhere, I mean sit home and not go to the dentist. You see, I'm beyond terrified of the dentist. I used to be perfectly fine, then something happened. Aliens? I have no idea. I just know fight-or-flight kicked in and the bottom half of my body spent most of its time trying to escape from the chair. This did not work well with the very top of my body being worked on with all sorts of tools and nauseating sounds. Wanna know how terrified I was? I didn't even look down the dental tech's shirt when I had the opportunity (yes, she was a she).

Putting on my big boy pants, I found another practice, Fly by Night Dentists, Inc. The moment I walked in the door, I smelled cheap, disorganized office. When they were being dishonest, I told them to give themselves a screw-in partial permanent crown hat, do not pass go, and pay $1200 deductible to start. 

At that point, I took another 'break' from weird dentistry and doctors who I couldn't understand when they spoke. And when I say break, I mean sat home in only mild panic.

Deciding to try again, I looked for a local dentist who took my (very common) insurance. Several told me I had to pay up front and I could keep the insurance payment. WTF is this? So I have an appointment. My break from insurance was interrupted by a toothache in a nasty-looking spot. By the time I'm done, I will have paid for the Dentist's new vacation house in Aruba. And why not - I already paid for the vet's car, her daughter's car and education, and two vacation homes. I'm a walking charitable foundation and get not a cent off in taxes.

I have that toothache numbing liquid. I couldn't get it to stop the pain as directed, and it turns out drinking it also fails to help. I was wondering about that fire whiskey stuff. Or allergy/sleeping pills. Either would put me out of commission at work, but I'd just look like all my coworkers. 

Today I identify as  a lamp with a halogen bulb and no federally mandated fire protection

• President Taxit has struck another blow for huge government by declaring all federal workers must get the vaccine(s). Can't he just go to the Home and live out his life?
• Oahu and Maui will start ‘vaccine pass’ programs.
• CDC tightened masking guidelines after threats from teachers union, emails show (who's running this whorehouse anyway?)

On boosters.... 

"has already drawn criticism from US experts who say the medical need for third doses is not yet clear, and the decision to offer them overstepped review by the Food and Drug Administration and expert advisers for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."

Still. No. Idea.

At the dentist's office, it was very nice. 

The ladies at the front desk were wonderful.

And loud. And incredibly helpful. In high school, they probably did things that involved pom poms.

Things have been modernized to the extent that all paperwork to fill in is done on a tablet.

Unfortunately an iTablet, so naturally we didn't get along.

Fortunately an ex-pom pom user happily helped me. She assured me it wasn't my fault, even though the tablet or I was producing smoke. 

My tech agreed that the ladies out front were very helpful. And loud. And motivated. And were probably well acquainted with pom poms.

NOTE: we all need pom pom people. I am not saying they're bad. Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, ok? 

At almost no time did the lower half of my body try to escape from the chair.

This probably had something to do with nothing getting done.

Dentistry is weird.

You can walk in with half of your face blown up and they'll ask you what brought you in.

You tell them there's so much pain, you can barely function.

They'll proceed to take xrays, wherein you get that boffo heavy blanket.

Then other xrays with some weird thing they hold.

Then still other xrays where you stand up and things spin around, unrelated to pain or medicine.

At this point I'm thinking either my tech or I should be taking the other out for dinner; I just can't figure out which. She knows my mouth way better than I do and I'm trying to figure out whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

She disappears to check out your xrays and make purple marks on them. This is a time-wasting exercise - they don't use these xrays.

The next set she goes over with you, telling you some Dental Stuff.

While half your face continues to hang off your head, she numbs you and starts doing some Other Stuff.

The she says you need Deep Cleaning. This is called many different things at many different practices, and actually only serves to annoy you and your gums. Most insurances pay for it anyway, so it's just revenue enhancement for the practice. You need a cleaning even if you have dentures. There are enough xrays to prove your dog needs a cleaning too.

You find out all sorts of Interesting Dental Information, such as the high school the tech went to, how she has a second job washing cars topless, and that she can do your job better than you.

At this point, you notice that your jaw hurts so much you're seeing stars, and you're still on cleaning.

Your appointment was for five, and the dentist appears around seven.

He pokes, prods, and pokes again, making Thoughtful Noises.

Then he gives you the news. There will have to be Deep Dental Procedures proceeded.

You have a choice of different procedures per tooth: you can have it drilled, removed, disinfected, put in a post, or just generally drilled for fun and practice. In fact, my body didn't try to escape until he mentioned putting in posts.

So I'm still sitting there, certain parts of me fused to the chair, and he mentions I said I was suffering greatly, with pain up into my scalp.  He sounds somewhat concerned, so he does what any healer would do: sets up a Plan, finds out what insurance will pay, and comes back with the Whole Deal. You find out that, with really good dental insurance, it will only cost you two grand. 

HUH?

Two grand ain't nothin, I was assured.

Two grand is something, I was assured, by Wife.

So I quietly mention I'm still in horriffic pain.

Doc tells me to schedule the appointment so we can begin The Plan.

Dentistry is funny.

If you take a pneumatic nail gun and nail your forehead to a 2x4, it's fairly obvious, plus you're in a bit of pain.

Whereas with half your face hanging off, dentistry wants you to make an appointment, next week or so. Or next month - whatever works for you.

But Doc, I'm sitting here in unbelievable pain.

Take some ibuprofen.

For the next week or month? 

What else would you like me to do?

MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY - THAT'S WHY I'M AT THE DENTIST'S OFFICE.

I told you to schedule an appointment so we can get to you as early as possible.

By the laws of physics, as early as possible is RIGHT NOW.

And, conveniently, here I am, right in the very chair I would sit in to be worked on. Imagine that.

I'd stick with soft foods and we'll see you later, lefty.

As much pain as that entire routine caused, it does not compare to the pain of coming home:

HER: How was it?

ME: It was the most recent visit to the dentist ever.

HER: Did he make the pain go away?

ME: No, but he told me when he will.

HER: let me guess - next week?

ME: Exactly.

HER: and how much is this going to cost you?

ME: Do I hear the phone ringing?

HER: No. How much?

ME: Is dinner ready?

HER: Of course. How much?

ME: dwrgtjjjdtrrs

HER: Stop mumbling

ME: I said two grand.

HER: TWO GRAND? How are we supposed to come up with two grand? Shall I whip it out of an orifice to be named later? Or whip it out of the mortgage payments for the next few months?

ME: errr.... I don't know?

HER: Don't you have really good insurance?

ME: Yes. You should have seen the price without insurance.

HER: Did you at least get to look down the tech's shirt?

ME: I wasn't panicked enough to forget, but she had a heavy sweater on, dammit. On the bright side, every one of them was born here, so I could understand them. Except during the dance segment.

Why tell the doctor where it hurts, when you could use emoji instead?

Because people have become so simple, they can only communicate in tiny pictures?

Uhhh... guys.... we're going to need emojis for 

• the dog ate my insurance card
• afflictions of the pancreas
• colonoscopy
• nose hair calamities
• diarrhea
• STDs
• I shut the car door on my penis

Revealed: LAPD officers told to collect social media data on every civilian they stop

but..but..but... I have to post these pictures of my cat doing something cute, along with my social security number!! 

Things are getting even more hairy aboard the International Space Station, specifically the Russian section. After last week's 'mistaken' firing of Russian boosters, this week the smoke alarms went off.

US: What are those alarms? Smoke alarms?

RU: Must be time for battery change.

US: Battery change is one beep, this is constant.

RU: It is not.

US: Yes it is.

RU: We hear nothing.

US: Why is there smoke coming in from your side of the station?

RU: Is nothink.

US: It's right there.

RU: Oh, dat. Uh, Sergei burnt Pop-Tart.

US: Nuh-uh. Pop-Tarts burn horizontally, with color dependent on the flavor.

RU: Maybe Leonid smoke ceeg.

US: The rules state cigarettes can only be smoked outside the ISS.

RU: But can't light outside.

US: Then don't smoke. Hey - that looks like flames.

RU: Isn't.

US: Is.

RU: Isn't.

US: The temp has gone up 30 degrees  (40 kilometers Russian).

RU: Is ceeg, I tell you.

US: does that look like molten metal?

RU: No. Look like joke - ha ha.

US: it just set off the sprinkler system, so you better be ready to go swimming in 5 minutes.

RU: Nooooo. Not at all. Boris is taking bath again.

US: We don't have enough air til we can send for the Chinese

RU: Goot. Esk for #42 Moo Goo Gai Pan.

US: You better fix whatever it is, before we wind up in a David Bowie song.

RU: So sorry. Did I say bath? No, Leonid make small trajectory adjustment with monkey wrench. Not heppen again, I promise.

• President Taxit: a woman's body is her own
• President Taxit: unless she has the Flying AIDS
• Executive overreach

'Black national anthem' makes its debut at the NFL

Stop dividing. Come together.

[Can also function as the left handed national anthem]

It's nice and sunny outside. Naturally I am inside. I don't actually have a desire to be outside, but I'd like some representative sun to appear inside.

The person who built my (Sears, no, really) house made sure to orient it so no sun got into it, no matter where the sun was, and no matter the season. 

I've got two friggin' windows in my office. I can sorta tell it's sunny out, but that's the end of it. I was thinking about turning the house around, but I've got too many responsibilities already, with working, sitting, blogging, and making sure the dog's comfortable on the bed. Her sleep number is 65.

How in the world do you orient a house so no light gets in?

Oh, wait, there's exactly one window on the east side. Most are north-south.

This will become important as we go to the cold season. We only have two seasons here: hot and cold. Somebody flips the switch and we go to the other season. I'd like to have more light during the cold season. It tends to get depressing and the neighbors really want to chip in and get me more light, any way it has to happen. They prefer the summer lefty to the winter lefty.

Did you know that most of the musicians who have lefty in their name don't play guitar lefty?

I think we'd have to install new windows on the east-west sides, which would mean WALL DEMOLITION!!! The only problem is that the Crazy Lady's house would still block the light. HOUSE DEMOLITION!!!  This is why the city stops by for a soda once a week or so.

This just proves windows is good for nothing.

• Definition of chutzpah: potential juror shows up to courthouse in black t-shirt with RIOT in big letters and black balaclava.
• we need more of this in America

The public hoo-ha over Britney Spears' finances came to a head after her father petitioned to be let go as the conservator.

Buoyed by this news, Britney got engaged! 

We wish Ms. Spears and Tupac the best of luck

Period facilities are needed at live events

also needed:

• removing items from rectum labs
• somewhere to go to the bathroom
• places for wine. chilled to the correct temperature
• wiping sweat from forehead stations
• diarrhea treatment and resources
• lactose intolerant booths

Are You Out of Your Pancreas?

 Your love is like  cholera

Speaking of love, please think good thoughts, or whatever you do, for Mrs. lefty, who's having a difficult time.

• Real-life Tarzan lived for 41 years not knowing women existed and ate rats' heads
• now a successful tv executive and high school teacher 

Taliban seizes a THIRD of Afghanistan in blitz offensive after US wastes nearly $1TRILLION in ‘pointless’ 20-year war 

It wasn't pointless if you work for arms manufacturers. Have a heart 

Military Report Says Space Force Must Prepare for Moon Warfare

The Boogie Man has moved from Earth orbit to the Moon!  

• Philadelphia schools adopt 'sanctuary' immigration policy
• Isn't that nice... sanctuary school mayor dribbles it down to the schools....

Today I identify as  a really attractive person. Oddly, I still appear unattractive and people want nothing to do with me, so that's discrimination.

It's an interesting world... Sinead O'Connor is leaving music to become an author and Britney Spears is petitioning to end her father's conservatorship. Thanks to Sinead and go Britney. But seriously, these ladies are broken and ThermionicEmissions hopes they get the most effective help and can go on to live a 'normal' life. UPDATE: Britney lost the case and made some claims about her personal life being regulated.

A group of 17 researchers from a wide cross-section of different disciplines have come together to contribute to a paper suggesting social media might be a risk to humanity's continued existence as we know it.

It took this long? 

• Federal Judge Rules Baltimore's Secret Spy Planes Violated The Constitution
• must limit spy planes to FBI/CIA/NSA 

The 27 EU nations have rolled out the EU vaccine passport.

Told you so

One of the evil cabal, Donald Rumsfeld (88), has perished. Rumsfeld held a press conference to announce the government could not account for trillions in the budget. On 9-10-2001. Rumsfeld was a DC insider, one of a group of very powerful people who run things moreso than the president.

Data compiled by four of the biggest tech companies shows that law enforcement requests for user information — phone calls, emails, texts, photos, shopping histories, driving routes and more — have more than tripled in the U.S. since 2015. Police are also increasingly savvy about covering their tracks so as not to alert suspects of their interest... In just the first half of 2020 — the most recent data available — Apple, Google, Facebook and Microsoft together fielded more than 112,000 data requests from local, state and federal officials. The companies agreed to hand over some data in 85% of those cases. Facebook, including its Instagram service, accounted for the largest number of disclosures.

Advance Browser Privacy Tools, Settings & tips

• Bill Cosby's conviction was overturned by the PA Supreme Court on a technicality.
• He celebrated with a small party of all women and Jello's new roofie pudding 

President Biden visited the victims of the Florida condo collapse. He assured the residents that there would be an emergency tax increase to assist them.

LOS ANGELES - A bomb squad truck carrying confiscated illegal fireworks exploded unexpectedly, blowing out windows and destroying nearby cars in a South Los Angeles neighborhood Wednesday night.

Well, if you stop trying to make fireworks illegal, this wouldn't happen, would it? These people shouldn't be allowed to confiscate water.  But we all secretly hope there's video.....

Holy Transformers, Batman - A flying car prototype made a 35 minute flight this week.

• there was a 2 hour delay when they couldn't find a stewardess slim enough
• you can't drive to work without getting a TSA groping
• psychologists are preparing for Sky Rage, when this model, with a BMW engine, passes a model with a Chevrolet engine, at great speed
• much to the satisfaction of BMW owners, there are no turn signals

What's the only thing sillier than a gender reveal party?

A pro wrestling-inspired gender reveal party. 

Hey, man, did you get your work badge yet?

Funny you should ask...

We're not entirely sure where it is.

I got my picture taken but no one seems to know what happened after that. Perhaps I became invisible. I'm still getting paid, so I'm not a non-entity.

We went one step further up the chain and they told me there are only 2 places to get processed, neither being the one I went to. That's odd - the appointment system listed a hundred.

So now I have to call a different place and make an appointment. We're not sure if I'm getting my picture taken again or they have my badge. So that's another trip or two. The best I can say is at least it's not downtown.

Apparently there's a new system.

Did they let anybody know?

Oops.

Mornings: A Pox on Humanity

The Army has lifted their ban on recruits with mental health issues, like self-harm, bipolar disorder, depression, drug and alcohol abuse. If they're serious about mental health issues, they should recruit paranoid schizophrenics, manics, sociopaths, and psychopaths. They can get the job done.

• While joking with my lesbian friend, I told her I'm so good, she'll wish I was female. She was most amused, but started asking me about my wife. Perhaps she isn't a latent heterosexual after all.

A week after the iPhone X was released, a Vietnamese security company has cracked the face recognition, allowing access to the phone. It involves a mask printed with a 3D printer, some silicone, makeup and two-dimensional images, costing about $150. There still may be a passcode requirement in certain cases, but they got there. Yeah, fingerprint, facial recognition, very secure.

Just for fun, a British supermarket is experimenting with facial recognition at checkout, using a smartphone app. What could possibly go wrong?

• If you're not ready to delete your Faceyspaces account, you can deactivate it. Of course, none of us have a Faceyspaces account, and even if we did, it would already be deleted.

A Russian developer snuck cryptocurrency mining into certain android apps. Although this is not technically illegal, it should have been disclosed. Mining benefits the developer and slow the app down appreciably. While there's no sure way to avoid this, I urge the same cautions you should use for any android app: read the reviews for obvious shills and weird foreign spellings of words and grammar. Don't download foreign apps, even if there are a million downloads already. Stick to known apps. Also, don't install anything by "Oxothuk", who claims he disclosed mining via Terms and Conditions, which should come with a five dollar reward for reading. Install Malwarebytes. Be careful out there.

• Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the air, you might want to avoid the 757 and 737, which are the majority of planes. DHS hired hackers, who managed to get into the planes' control systems. The results are classified. The hacks are not out for anybody to use. They don't affect the 787 or Airbus A350, which have 'cybersecurity built in.'

A passenger was asked to deplane after her emotional support pig became disruptive.  She complied and took a later flight, with her emotional support elephant.

• Another of the Smallest Books Known to Man: Heterosexual Males in the Audience at the Wendy Show.
• Speaking of which, don't forget to avoid any tv show that uses the phrase "baby mama" or has "Dog the Fatty Hunter" in the name.

Don Ritchie saved between 160 and 500 people from suicide in Australia, maintaining a post by a popular spot to leap. "Why don't you come and have a cup of tea?" he'd ask people who were ready to jump off the cliff. An everyday hero.

• As his health is almost puppy-like, Marshall's behavior has gone straight to hell. He has throughly trained his mom to show up when he gives a cue. The cue is either whining, whine/growling, or a sharp bark. It sometimes gets worse when we're eating, which is intolerable. Lately we've taken to ignoring the little loon because when he realizes he's not getting anything, he leaps on the couch or the bed and snoozes. His need for whatever he needs keeps his mom up most of the night. If she makes the mistake of sleeping, he leaps up, whines, and waits for her to make eye contact. This can go on a number of times. I think he knows his dad will not wake up for much of anything.

Yeah, we know I'm a bit behind in my popular culture.
There are many claims of Illuminati involvement in the music industry. If nothing else, it's a shockingly salacious claim for the public, which will suck up whatever it's told. Most of the public is unaware of it but it's gaining popularity and has no shortage of YouTube and other 'proof'. I checked with an industry person, who flatly refused to discuss it with me, backing off like mad.

If you're even newer to the game than me, these huge stars go through mind control to push a large, nefarious agenda. The Manchurian Candidate is not a work of fiction, period. If you have any doubts, look up the MK-ULTRA program, run by our friends in the CIA, with our tax dollars. This morning I read that the Canadian government quietly paid on a claim for a MK-ULTRA survivor (part of the experiments were done in Canada, at the behest of the CIA). The US also paid, after MK-ULTRA was discussed in Congress (with the required missing/destroyed documents).

How does the mind control work? The subject is subject to torture to create alternate personalities (alters) for whatever reason. In Manchurian Candidate, it was for a political purpose. When I say torture, I'm not kidding. You can do the research on YouTube and the net.

Mind control is Multiple Personality Disorder (now Dissociative Identity Disorder). It is 'usually' achieved in childhood, from repeated traumatic sexual abuse, whether sick child molesters or cults. The personality is not really set til about age nine, so it's easier to create in children.

I recently came across this Britney Spears clip.
It's an interview with Diane Sawyer, where Britney behaves strangely, popping out laughing and talking like a child. This is allegedly proof of what's called Monarch programming. I asked my in-house expert, who was wide-eyed, and said there were three alters there.

There are a host of other clips of entertainers and politicians. A lot of what's out there is pure BS, but this deserves further investigation. A clip of Serena Williams comes right out and mentions the names of certain alters, saying she was unaware of one being out, but was told she was at one tournament. Sometimes the host personality (the original) is unaware of the presence of others. Sometimes they are aware. Sometimes they achieve co-consciousness (two are aware at the same time), which I'm guessing is rare in these cases.

You'll also note that sometimes celebrities wig out (Britney's famous hair removal, Katy Perry's breakdown). My guess is that they go back for a tune-up. This is just a guess, but based upon my knowledge of generic DID, a system can crash.

I joke about being a tin foil hat kinda guy, but the evidence is there. Your job is to take a look and come to your own conclusions. Will you wear the Hat or just refer to me as a kook?

a person (and his dog) needs to be comfortable

Knock Someone Out for Boxing Day

A nice and considerate new reader pointed out that this blog hurt her eyes (which was only fifty percent of my intention when 'designing' it). That the image of ThermionicEmissions remained emblazoned on her retina, making it difficult to see the next site she went to. This is great news... everyone who leaves this blog will see it in front of them for a short (or long) period of time! If a reader trips and goes down on his eyes, heaven forbid, the image of ThermionicEmissions may be the last thing he sees. Or it might be the only thing he sees for the rest of his life.  Do I need to rethink this?

• One way to introduce invasive new technology is to put it in sports stadiums; where fans have already proved they will swallow humongous ticket prices, fifty dollar parking, regular player strikes, and state money paying for the stadiums. Fingerprint and iris scanners are in place in several stadiums, as a kind of line-bypass, like our friends at the TSA offer pre-screened fliers (and now some stadiums) - because metal detectors and bag checks weren't enough. In addition to identification, this allows tracking of fan behavior and purchasing habits, raking in even more money for the stadiums. To add insult to injury, you will pay $179 for this privilege. Yo, sports fans... bend over... again. It's for the children.

A New York to France flight had to be diverted because the toilets on the 767 were all broken. With all of the in-flight backups airplanes have (all systems in triplicate), in the end it was toilets that grounded the plane. It's shit like this that makes passengers mad.

• Last night was the Kennedy Honors. Among others, the Eagles were celebrated. At one point, Steve Vai joined others for a note-for-note rendition of Hotel California. As much fun as this was, the real attraction was watching the stone-faced Eagles and the outgoing president at times.

This past year has had no shortage of hilarity emanating from California. Guess what... the year isn't over yet! The San Francisco police union is suing the city for the right to choke citizens and kill fleeing drivers, citing the recent overseas attacks where vehicles were used. Because the "new policy will hinder officers' ability protect themselves and the public from killers behind the wheel."

They coulda just said It's for the children. Knowing California, it's a small miracle that they didn't outlaw trucks and cars.

The next piece of legislation will require police to identify lawbreakers and give them a ride home or to a Safe Space of their choosing because we wouldn't want to hurt their feelings or make assumptions as to their race, color, what species they identify as, or sexual orientation.

• As if enough people had not left the planet in 2016 thus far, someone took advantage to hack Britney Spears' Twitter account to post a poorly-worded tweet, allegedly from Sony, that she expired. To back this up, they hacked Bob Dylan's Twitter account to send condolences. And just a few days left in 2016...
• Speaking of death, there is a Kickstarter to raise money for a person to guard Betty White. He will guard her in any way necessary. If Mrs White decides this service is not necessary, all the money donated will go to a designated theater charity. Noting Betty's ability to stay alive thus far, I don't think she'll need any help.

A Tacoma, WA. Cheesecake Factory refused to serve some armed police officers recently. One of the officers posted this to Cheesecake's Faceyspaces page, prompting a statement from Corporate, apologizing for the mixup and blaming it on the restaurant manager's misunderstanding of the policy, which stated that uniformed and armed officers were allowed to possess arms. I guess the manager mixed up allowed to posess arms with not allowed to possess arms. Heh heh, simple mixup anyone could make. It's like celebrity death: Britney Spears is dead. Oh wait, we got that statement mixed up with Britney Spears is not dead. A simple mixup.

• There is a place in Asia called Johor Baru. This is less important that the fact that a man there is seeking a refund for an exorcism, because the exorcist failed to drive off the spirits afflicting his father. Hey, do you suppose we can get refunds for wives and other relatives?

One cannot, and I can't emphasize this strongly enough, eat a steak sandwich with a straw. Along these same lines; no, I don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow to see your ear wax. These were two things that happened today and I am not going to say anything more.

First selfie with found object - 1940