Stan Stops UFO Research

RIP Stanton Friedman (84), the father of UFO research. He just retired from the circuit. We lost a great one.

Stanton was a nuclear physicist who brought science to the UFO field, first concentrating on Roswell. His firm allowed him to lecture at work and elsewhere. Did you know there are over 400 people on record regarding Roswell?

Stanton accurately described the denizens of planet Earth as a 'primitive society whose major activity is clearly tribal warfare.'

He was a funny guy, said to be quite nice, by those who met or interviewed him. He referred to people like Bill Nye and the SETI folks as Noisy Negativists, for taking an opinion based on nothing and ignoring the evidence. In honor of a lifetime of work, I suggest we rename Area 51 to The Stanton Friedman Memorial Roswell Research Center.

Read his books and check out some videos on YouTube.
Who knows - maybe he has the answers now...



Dear lefty

• How do they make oven-proof glass?
• From boron, you moron.

After a philanthropist got an honorary degree and picked up the tab for the entire class, Oprah was called out for not doing the same.

What's the matter with these people?
You're not allowed to tell someone how to spend their own money. I'm not an Oprah fan, but this applies to everyone. I think the guy's a hero, but haven't demanded anyone else do the same. Oh, wait, this was on social media. That explains everything.

Hmmmm... maybe ThermionicEmissions readers could make some demands:

• Faceyspaces' Mark Zuckerberg should donate generously to the presidential re-election fund.
• Google should send a few billion to the Electronic Freedom Foundation.
• The RNC should donate to the Freedom from Religion Foundation

The kilogram has gotten more accurate by changing what it's related to.

It has traditionally been tied to the English Prime Minister's shoe size. It will now reflect a more static value - the amount of countries currently on the moon.

• Canada is using cardboard cop cutouts to catch speeders.
• Last year, the cardboard shot 8 people - 7 more than the real police.

Let's watch some morning news:
FOX: this is the damage caused by multiple tornadoes in Oklahoma. Ted Cruz says Yale unfair to Christians... and conservatives.
CNN: We need to impeach Trump: here's a democrat to tell you about it. The president talks like a mafia boss. Maine's lobster industry is concerned because of Trump's trade war.

I want to watch news. What's happening? Did I miss something important overnight? Anything coming up? International stories? The Broken Needle Networks are worthless.



On the issue of abortion (I'm for it, sometimes mandatory), many people say that it's the woman's business, not the government's (I agree). Why, then, is everything else the government's business? Alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sex work, vaccinations, medicines, etc. Let's be intellectually honest and apply this across the board.

• After the revelation of barbaric treatment of England's mentally ill. the government has rushed into action and put together a program to stop people from jumping into the Thames River. With signs. Maybe a fence.
• Other suggestions included putting a rubber pool cover over the river, and making it illegal to jump.

Florida (we can't go too long without mentioning FL) man accused of threatening to behead another man and several police officers, then eat their tongues and eyes. 

Man apologizes. What he meant to say was, "The job situation in the country is looking up."

• Here's a feelgood headline: Flight Grounded for Hours with Body Inside After Passenger Dies Mid-Flight. I'll bet they charge him the freight rate also.

IMPORTANT:
Make sure your operating system and programs are patched. There's a particularly nasty Windows vulnerability that uses Remote Desktop Protocol (RDP). RDP allows you to connect to your pc from inside or outside of the network. NEVER EXPOSE RDP to the internet. There are other ways to access your home pc remotely. RDP has no security and anybody can hack in.

Faceyspaces Strikes Again

Sorry we're running late. As you might have read, we're experiencing more technical difficulties than we can shoot at with our available weaponry.



A Taiwanese hacker says he's going to delete Mark Zuckerberg's profile and stream it live. I'd watch it. Unfortunately it's being streamed on Faceyspaces itself.

Speaking of stupid, Faceyspaces engineers discovered a flaw on September 16th, which would have allowed hackers to take over fifty million accounts.

"This is a very serious security issue, and we're taking it very seriously, because we got caught" said CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Zuck (pronounced 'fuck') pointed out how sorry he is that he got caught, and promised swift action, because he'll get caught if he doesn't. The security team is being augmented, to avoid getting caught in the future.

Zuckerberg is up for a Nobel Peace Prize, but doubts he can reach the Peace Heights of Barack Obama, who won a Nobel Peace Prize for waging war across the globe.

UPDATE: Faceyspaces leaps to inaction and says that if people want to opt out, they should turn off 2 factor authentication. They should turn off an important safety feature. You can't make this stuff up.

• Perhaps I should've gone to college after all.  A professor, giving an intro to psychology course, accidentally ran porn instead of his video. The audience is described at being aghast. What group of 18 to 20 somethings is aghast at porn? Apparently students at the University of Toronto.
• One student had video of the accident and posted it online, where it was shared many times. Hmmmm.....
• The university said it was offering support to anyone who was disturbed. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Support! Break our the safe rooms, with soft pillows and puppies. And vagina hats.
• 10 students were home on Disability, 3 students were in Intensive Care, 5 were admitted to the Happy Place, and the course is booked solid for the next ten years.
• Education Pro Tip: stay away from the University of Toronto.

Gas prices in southern California are on the way to $4 gal.

Actual gas prices were $2 gal but the governor added a $2 gal tax for cleaning up some shit in San Francisco.

• An Italian man who slept with over 6,000 women just died. Italy mourns his loss.
• Mario Zanfanti died while having sex with a tourist one third his age. He died the way he lived.
• If you gotta go.....

War on Ants
The war continues. This particular battle happened in the kitchen. The clean kitchen, with no food laying out. Mrs lefty says, "If you see one ant, he has lots of friends you can't see." She put on her Sherlock Holmes hat, with the bill in the front and the bill on the back. This way the ants can't tell if she's coming or going. We got out our Secret Weapon<tm>, called Tero, or something like that. It's like really yummy cyanide they swarm on, eat, and carry back to their condos, apartments, and the Secret Ant Compound, where they go through a process called Eat and Die.  It's very technical. Part of it involves opening an odd plastic container, with "no spill packaging", which naturally wound up all over my shirt.

The process involves a bit of reality suppression, as they show up in numbers, even if you tape the bait on the ceiling. I don't want to discuss this any further.

Across the street, it looks like our neighbor has had it with the ants too. How do we know? There's a tank on his lawn, pointed at said house. Turns out it's a backup plan, as he's got some sort of Industrial Ant Stuff. This is a different method than Eat and Die.. the ants go for the bait and POOF - it puts tiny little dresses on them. The males are typically the raiders, so this embarrasses the hell out of them and they flee, fearing talk of their fetish, and sexual assault from the ants that like being in a fashionable frock. There are hundreds of books on the topic of Ant Dressing, which you can read in any ant library. Our neighbor said he'd let us know how it worked out. If so, we were free to use it. He didn't specify which... I'm hoping for the tank.

• Telegram desktop is a 'secure' messaging program. Unfortunately, it turns out to leak your private and public IP addresses. A leak in android is also possible. The vulnerability has been fixed.
• I've been suggesting Signal for encrypted messaging and phone calls for android and non-android phones. You can also put it on your desktop and sync it with your phone, so you can operate it from the desktop too. Do yourself a favor and install Signal. With FB, Zuck, Google, and the NSA listening to everything you do, why not use something that's incredibly difficult to crack?

Andy Warhol said something about everyone eventually getting their fifteen minutes of fame. The man could obviously see into the future. The latest reality show follows a number of spoiled rich kids sent to live as poor people. In case you think my characterization of spoiled rich kids is incorrect or personal, the commercial had one particular brat counting out $32,000 in pocketbooks (on one shelf among many). Oh, the horror.

Next up: rich people filling out the wrong tax forms and Daddy having to use his team of tax accountants work to solve this. The next show deals with the embarrassment and sheer horror of using the wrong fork. The show spends most of its time at the therapist's office, trying to work through a near fatal case of Social PTSD. As you read this, a new show is being pitched, where poor kids move in with rich families and hack into the family's finances, making them the poor family. In abject terror, rich people are phoning their buddies at the networks to have the show mothballed before it's accepted.

• So that global mass surveillance system to fight terror.... it's being used to spy on innocent UK citizens. Yes, ThermionicEmissions is correct again. We can't see into the future - if your government(s) puts in a spying system to fight 'terror', it will be used against you. As disturbing as this is in other countries, the US 4th Amendment guarantees against search and seizure. It has been violated. It is violated again and again.
• So let's get back to arguing republicans vs democrats, shall we? They both authorized this kind of thing.

From 2020 on, more than five million new Volkswagens will be fully connect to The Cloud. What could possibly go wrong? Lady - your Tiguan is trying to hack my router!

• God I love Windows. Forced to use it for work, I suffer from its aggravation. This morning it thought my second display was the primary display. It had gotten an 'update', of which I was unaware. Then it took my neatly arranged icons from the left side and moved them all to the right side, plus put them out of order. And this is just booting up. I'm waiting for it to decide the mouse is on the other side of the keyboard and to turn the display sideways. It locked me out last week, which I decided was a blessing. Oddly enough, this stuff doesn't happen at home on linux.
• No, at home on linux, I have a problem so weird that no one has even heard of it, much less knows how to go about solving it. And for once, I didn't do anything to cause it. I hope.

If the aliens have any doubt what we're up to, they don't even have to come to the planet... they just have to watch what happens to the moon when we get there. Nuclear physicist Stanton Friedman, godfather of UFO research, has the best description of mankind:

Apollo 13 did an experiment to figure out the moon's crust. It involved explosives. Within the past few years, we somehow found it necessary to actually bomb the moon, allegedly to look for water. I happen to know that in 2020, we're going to bomb the moon to reaffirm the presence of moon dust. The astronauts were clearly filmed in moon dust, but we need to make sure it's still there. There is a proposal for 2025, which involves shooting the moon with a very large nuclear weapon, to see what happens when the moon splits in half. [HINT: women's periods will last 56 days]

• There is absolutely no reason I should like Procol Harum, except that Robin Trower was in the group for a bit. Yet completely without guitar pyrotechnics, I really enjoy them. Check them out... A Salty Dog is one of my favorites, from 1969, featuring a very young Robin Trower.  You'll definitely recognize this one. Lastly, Conquistador is a hit from waaaaaay back.

I was thinking of new interesting things to add to the blog.

One recurring feature idea was Words the Spellchecker Didn't Understand. The generously provided spellchecker by Google (they don't charge for it or for the space to blog) apparently didn't cost them anything, as it's European (flavour, colour, pyjamas), and doesn't understand words (internet, tv, Zuckerburg). It will not learn from my corrections, so I get to see them each time I spellcheck. 

So I won't be adding this feature, as it will take twice the time it takes me to make all this shit up in the first place.

Snakes Damn Near On A Plane

Lest you think I have only doubts about the TSA's ability to find its hand in front of its face... a woman traveling from Miami to Barbados was stopped because of 'biomass' inside an electronic device. Investigating further, the woman had put a ball python inside a hard drive (must've been a really large hard drive). So let me make amends to the TSA: The TSA cannot find its hand in front of its face, but they are perfectly capable of finding a snake in a hard drive. They also nailed my mother with too much water to take on the plane. She could overhydrate.

• Yeah, we're not all that fond of Google, but occasionally they hit the nail on the head: their phones are updated. They're now working on eliminating junk phone calls, unsolicited or robocalls. Some of the industry solutions not only keep you from being bothered, they actively bother the caller. They keep the phone spammer (human or machine) on the phone so long, it can cut into their profits. This is a uniquely annoying and hilarious bit of revenge.
• Remember, unless you have a previous business relationship, a company may not call you. Robocalling is illegal. Put yourself on the Do Not Call list.

A hacker from a South American country put some files up for sale on the Dark Web. Investigation was done and the files turned out to be important information on IEDs, a Reaper drone, and an Abrams tank. He couldn't sell anything because he didn't know what he had, where to sell it, and how to price it.

The takeaway here is that if you work on a military base and your computer is hooked to the net, change the default user login/password from ADMIN/PASSWORD to something else. Anything else. You blithering idiot. The captain had just completed a cybersecurity class.

The people at the very top don't. The people in the middle can't, even with classes. The Great Unwashed has no clue whatsoever and just doesn't care. This is why we have a cybersecurity problem. This and really crappy devices from manufacturers that don't care.

• My sweet elderly neighbor likes to sit in her yard and soak in the atmosphere. One of her talents is the ability to do this while completely ignoring our atmosphere. I can tell when she's out because there's a bright red Hawaiian chair she sits in. Today I noticed she changed the Hawaiian cover to a blue one. This woman changes her outdoor chair cover. I can barely change my clothes.
• She is the one who fed Marshall all these years. She'd lob hot dogs at him. When he couldn't see her, he'd WOOF and she'd come out. We had to explain to him that it didn't work at 2am.

Marshall's ashes are ready. He'll be coming home soon. 
He will sit in the living room, where he can keep an eye on us.
It still hurts in ways I can't describe. 

Because I made the mistake of registering for a seminar, I've been receiving no end of spam. Since it's major company spam, I look for the opt-out link, even though I never opted in. Good, I think to myself... the end of these emails. And then they send me an email to confirm I won't get more email.  Is it just me?

• Another in the increasing spate of unbelievably annoying commercials: "I drink Diet Coke. It's super good."  Super good? Whatever the ad agency was on, please keep it away from the rest of humanity.

Among the many people I don't like is Jeff Goldblum. It was almost instant. Everything worked out really well because he's a movie star, so unless I went to a movie, I was unlikely to be annoyed by him.  In a bid to outwit and frustrate me more, he's doing tv commercials. Some stars do it for the money... not Jeff. No, Jeff's doing it to annoy me. He doesn't need the money. Smug bastard.

• I'm getting a lot of traffic from Russia. I hope they're not using ThermionicEmissions to influence the next election.
• Sorry about that.
• Welcome, people from Russia. You probably got here by mistake.

We're at the 61st anniversary of the crash at Roswell. The city is jammed with celebration and people from out of state. Sadly, it was announced that this is Stanton Friedman's last hurrah; he is retiring. I don't begrudge him retirement... he's been working on the ufo mystery ever since he was young. He's the grandfather of ufo research; a nuclear physicist who applies scientific principles to the study. Stanton has done unbelievable amounts of research on Roswell. Next time someone tells you it was any of the three things the government took turns blaming, remember there are about 400 witnesses and interviews.

Stanton is about 84 and recently had some heart difficulty. He'll remain a very popular figure in the ufo research field. Godspeed, Mr. Friedman.




According to the History Channel, Thanksgiving didn't go entirely as we learned. The Indians were not invited; they showed up in twice the number as the Pilgrims. There was no turkey; the Indians brought a gift of venison. The Pilgrims would have been in church that day.

History, as they say, is written by the victors and can't be trusted. History is also not set by the History Channel. It has nothing to do with aliens, Giorgio.

I can't reveal my sources but this is how it went down: the Pilgrims invited the Indians. The Indians brought cold cuts and beer. It took quite a while to explain the meaning of 'orgy' to the Indians. So they all smoked peace pipe, got down to (everyone else's) business, then feasted on cold cuts and root beer, with enough fermentation to wipe out most of the guests. Then the time of the Great Napping began. This was actually relayed down the years in Indian history. Since the Indians pass down history in song, we had to decode the meaning of this special song: "Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight. Get down tonight."

Another myth dispelled by Indian lore is the story of the YMCA. There was no Indian in the group, and if there were, he was totally straight.

• I got a text from my cell carrier, saying I was signed up for Program X, and I could go to this url to set my options. It was legit so I went to the site. Some new exciting program that looked a lot like an old boring program was mentioned. It looked halfway ok, then I discovered there was a monthly charge. I was not happy.
• It took about half an hour to locate a correct service number. When I called, the very polite service person told me that I had opted in. No, Dear, I'm not what you'd call an opter-inner. She told me to check my texts. I humored her and didn't find a text. She claimed she had the text and apologetically offered to cancel everything.
• So be careful about this. And by all means, go online to your providers page, create or sign into your account, then look for the privacy section. SHUT DOWN all BS about advertising and anything else you don't wish to happen. The carriers assume you opt-in and you have to manually opt out. This happens because they're greedy and have lobbyists with stacks of cash. I was signed up to have my location shared with a third party.

Faceyspaces has been fined $663,000 for failure to protect its users' personal information.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Boy, Zuck is going to feel THAT.

Morally, if not legally, they didn't fail to protect its users' personal information so much as sell it for their own profit.

COPS is filmed before a live studio audience

• When it really needs to be out of this world, the pros use linux. On the International Space Station there are seven laptops running linux-based software. On the Russian Segment, there are about seven laptops, which are also linux-based. The Curiosity rover, doing its thing on Mars, is remote-controlled with the help of a linux machine from Earth.

I learned about haggis from the source that taught me most important things in life: Monty Python. In spite of the fact that I urge you not to click on the link, curiosity will get the best of you (and you will live to regret it). Haggis is a Scottish dish and the Scots have been trying forever to get haggis into the US market; the problem being that sheep lungs are banned from being imported.  Sheep lungs. Say it slowly.. s-h-e-e-p  l-u-n-g-s. Savor it. This delectibly delightful main ingredient has been on the no-no list since 1971. The Scots are suggesting that the recipe be 'tweaked' to allow import to the US - we owe this to our Scottish brothers.  What do you suppose is a similar experience to sheep lungs? Goat intestine? Elephant brains? Eye of newt?


Students demand and receive resignation of University of Missouri president. Students further demand that Niger change its name because it's racist.

•  Movies: I don't do movies often, possibly because I have the attention span of a gnat. Somehow I managed to take in the latest Mission Impossible, the one co-starring Simon Pegg. Lots of great action, as one would expect (and I'm not a Tom Cruise fan). Also an unexpected bit of fun called Rikki and the Flash. Try to imagine Meryl Streep as an aging rocker, fronting a band in a dingy bar, with all sorts of family issues. She's a hell of an actress.

Smartphone injuries: 43% of people have walked into something while glued to their screen, while 60% have dropped their phone onto their face while reading. And this is before selfie-related injuries (SRI). 16% have fallen off gym equipment, 44% burned themselves ironing, 35% tripped over their pet, 28% hammered fingers, 27% fell off curb and 27% walked into a glass door.

• Russia is denying reports about state sponsored athletic doping. This is the difference between Russia and the US: Russia uses dope - America puts them on tv.

The Missouri University Police Department has urged students to report any hateful speech they encounter on campus.

• A change in sense of humor can signal a sign of impending dementia. Symptoms include laughing inappropriately at tragic events, loss of inhibition, and more impulsivity. Many developed a dark sense of humor.  Well, folks... see you the next time around - it's been grand. I gotta go soil myself.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is visiting President Obama to mend US-Israel ties. They both agreed that a few billion more in financial aid should do it for the time being. University of Missouri students march, demanding Obama take sensitivity training.

• SeaWorld is going to replace the 'Shamu' killer whale show in San Diego. Kim Kardashian's ass not available for comment. BaZINGa.

The president is coming dangerously close to fulfilling a campaign promise, requiring immediate attention. The promise to close Guantanamo Bay is controversial, but the president has come through again: he has promised to close the prison and send all the inmates to Dick Cheney's basement. A brief poll of inmates reveals that they have no problem with Guantanamo Bay at all, thank you, and look forward to spending the rest of their lives there. University of Missouri students march, demanding free waterboarding.

• Do you own a Vizio smart tv? It is the worst spying offender yet. The tv that watches you back.

OK Faceyspaces users:  Facebook has decided it doesn't pester its users enough, so it's going to use its facial recognition technology as the basis of a new nag-screen.  The ad network is testing a feature in its Android app that will scan a user's recent images for photos that look like their friends. If it spots a match, it'll ask if the photos should be shared with other people in them. It is being tested on the Australians first.  Just thought you'd want to know.

• President Obama says he didn't break his promise by sending ground troops to Syria. Because when he said, "No boots on the ground," what he meant was, "JFK was the first Jewish president". It was a simple misunderstanding.

Hassan Rouhani, Iran's president, said that US-Iran ties could be restored but the US must apologize. And when choosing for sports, the US must wait til after the Fat Kid gets picked. University of Missouri students march, demanding the US create a 'safe space' for Iran.

• Sony is ceasing production of Betamax tape. Stock up!

• High Thermionics: You should NOT take micro-doses of LSD while you're at work. Who could have seen that coming?
• Dolphins get high on puffer fish and pass them around. Don't bogart that puffie.
• Catnip only works on 70-80% of cats. University of Missouri students march, demanding catnip work on ALL cats. But only the black ones.
• When you give drugs to spiders, unusual web patterns ensue. So don't give drugs to spiders.

From an alien viewpoint, we are a primitive society whose major activity is tribal warfare - Stanton Friedman, father of ufo research

• In case you haven't had your sugar for the month, Ihop has Caramel Bon Bon pancakes. I'm a chocolate guy but these things were really good. Think caramel topped pancakes with creamy, sweet globs between them. One bite and you'll spit out your pancreas. University of Missouri students march, demand Free Ihop Franchise per Student.

MUSIC AND POLITICS?


Here's a timely tune called Vote for Me, by Joe Walsh. It was released a long time ago but some wag added pictures, featuring special guests Vermin Supreme, Ron Paul, and Pat Paulsen (for you old folks). The lyrics are written out. Enjoy some reality hilarity.