Turkey Sandwiches, Turkey Soup, Turkey Ice Cream

Your love is like  chlorine gas

So we're all over T-day.

We stuffed, we slept.

My t-day was weird.

(say it isn't so, lefty)

We haven't celebrated at my house since that unfortunate incident with PETA and SWAT, so we are fortunate to get invited elsewhere. The way we were raised has us politely accept or decline only, rather than saying, "Great - this is what I'll need you to make for me," or "Are you f-ing kidding me? LAMB for Thanksgiving?"

As luck would have it, the lamb option came up.

Although I will defend your right to have anything you want at your T-day dinner to my last breath, LAMB? There are only 4 people on the planet who would eat lamb on T-day and the 2 of them that live together invited us. Of course we (or at least 1 of us) politely accepted, while the other one said, "LAMB? WTF is wrong with these people? LAMB." At this point you know that there was not just lamb, but 2 different kinds of lamb (the kind I didn't like and the other kind I didn't like).

The only possible action, assuming you politely accepted, is to bring turkey. And if you are allowed to bring turkey, you can sneak the rest of the dinner in. Yes, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, acceptable veggies, unacceptable veggies (Brussels sprouts- I like them - wanna fight?), and pineapple stuffing.  WAIT a minute... pineapple stuffing? For those of you playing along at home, we now have to sneak regular stuffing on top of the entire turkey meal we're sneaking in, because someone likes pineapple stuffing. This has all the complexity of negotiating world peace, plus dealing with relatives. When we get there, eyes will roll and people will get lemon face once they see Brussels sprouts. So someone will have to sneak in some green beans or something, assuming they are not part of the LAMB express. As roughly 3/4 of those present are preparing to gleefully ignore the LAMB, we discover the turkey BREAST we cooked doesn't have dark meat, so Uncle Harvey may be stuck with LAMB after all. Or, if Harvey drinks a lot, we can tell him the LAMB is dark turkey meat. 

Some of the guests come from a foreign country, which is so poor....

HOW POOR IS IT?

It's so poor, they can't afford to import Brussels sprouts.

So they got their first, and last, taste of Brussels sprouts.

They also brought some dishes from their country, with names even they can't pronounce, and this is before the drinking.

Someone noticed, with horror, the mashed potatoes had skin in them.

Well of course they do - all sane people make them that way. Garlic too.

"OH GAWD - Aunt Bertha is allergic to garlic - I'll call 911."

Everybody can agree that the highlight of the dinner is dessert. The hosts did well, with a pizza-sized chocolate chip cookie. The entire family, and some other families we don't know, are insane for Mom's chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream icing. The foreign folks would fly in just for it. Unfortunately, Mom's mind is not well. Last year that meant way less cake and way more icing. This was not a problem for me or most others. Whenever Mom makes the icing, she makes a small tub of it just for me, so I can launch a spoon at it. Remember: cake is merely a vehicle to carry the icing. We were all curious about what she'd come up with, if she didn't make cake. She did not let anybody down; the broccoli was very easy to pull off the cake. She puts a hint of coffee into the chocolate buttercream icing that could distinguish it from 100 other cakes. I would eat it if she somehow managed to fashion the icing into a cake shape (this is very difficult - believe me, I tried). 

After dinner, it looks a lot like it looked before dinner, except for the hazy eyes. The little kids are playing with the aunts and uncles who are most like them. The teen kids are in another room, texting each other, and the adults are wherever they land, talking about the Olde Days<tm>.

Last year, as I was sitting around the table, talking about the Olde Days<tm>, I had a flashback. No, it was not LSD-induced, it was just your good old American flashback. I was a kid, it was Thanksgiving, and I was sitting at the table with the adults. Then it hit me.. I was now the (apparent) adult at the table. I can't decide which I liked better.

Remember: Thanksgiving doesn't exist outside of the US. The other countries just squint at us strangely. This is a lot better than they way they look at us normally.

What have we learned here?

Lessons way too complex for a blog.

Also that one should always bring a Substitute Dinner.

And plenty of Brussels sprouts, so you know you'll have plenty to take home for the week.

Today I identify as  an orphan power supply that might be from an old laptop you no longer have.

Dear lefty  

• What are you supposed to do the day after Turkey Day?
• Take off work. Sleep late. Pay attention to the dog. Masturbate furiously.
• What are you doing?
• Getting up early, working, not buying anything for Black Friday, hopefully holding off til after work for masturbating furiously

Flying AIDS News  

AstraZeneca's vaccine tested at 90% effective last Monday.

Apparently, later in the week, it was closer to 62%.

They're working on how this happened.

In the meantime, they suggest you get the vaccine on a Monday, when the figures are much better than later in the week.

Whilst plumbing around for the snafu, it might all come down to Bob, as it usually does. Bob emailed, saying that the 90% vaccine was then 10% ineffective. This got into the system and now it turns out the vaccine is only 10% effective, especially later in the week. It's completely ineffective on weekends, but if you can find someone to vaccinate you on a weekend, I'll eat Sophia Vergara.

AstraZeneca stated that 90% and 62% were just 'numbers and stuff,' statistical variances, caused by mixing in age groups less likely to catch the Flying AIDS, dispensing half dosages, firing anyone who knows anything about statistics, and gathering numbers closer to the weekend. Some Random Employee explained that 'the statistics gathered closer to the weekend were even worse than the ones gathered right after lunch.'

When the highly effective vaccine appears, the states will decide who gets them. As a patriotic and gentlemanly citizen, I will step forward and volunteer my dose to anyone who wants it. In fact, I will voluntarily move to the back of the line. Wait - not just the back of the line, I will hide somewhere so I don't even appear at the back of the line. Such is my patriotism and concern for my fellow citizens. 

According to some stats I've seen, I'm going to need a large building in which to hide. Many Americans do not trust a vaccine and will not get it. Interesting, no? Perhaps they're all waiting and watching, doing their due diligence. Maybe they want to wait a month, or a few years, to see how safe it is, how effective it is, and what the side effects are. Maybe they just don't trust anything anymore. Do what you feel is right.

Mind you, people are already concerned if the vaccine is vegan.

Vegans are a fun group. Eat or don't eat whatever you want, but if you can provide entertainment to the masses, even better.

Duckduckgo, the search engine that doesn't track you, has a weekly newsletter of privacy tips. They're all in plain english.  Subscribe.  Stop using Google. You can set Duck as your default search engine in all browsers.

• We're hearing a nonstop barrage of horrible Flying AIDS news: the hospitals are beyond capacity. I smell Shenanigans. Ask your friends who work at the hospitals. Let's find out for ourselves (locally). 

If you're a Comcast customer, prepare to bend over (further). Almost everything is going up. Comcast is a distant favorite to own the universe, after Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die. At least I'll avoid the sports upcharge, cuz I'm the AntiSports.

• As of 2021, the Austrian village of Fucking will be known as Fugging.
• In southeast Pennsylvania, Beaver College renamed itself Arcadia, for some strange reason, years back. 

Microsoft has done its part to enable corporate spying with the Microsoft 365 tools. 

reports also let managers drill down into data on individual employees, to find those who participate less in group chat conversations, send fewer emails, or fail to collaborate in shared documents.

It is spying, clearly.

Naturally, Microsoft denies this completely

“We are committed to privacy as a fundamental element of productivity score,” wrote Jared Spataro, the corporate vice-president for Microsoft 365, in online documentation. “Let me be clear: productivity score is not a work monitoring tool. Productivity score is about discovering new ways of working, providing your people with great collaboration and technology experiences … For example, to help maintain privacy and trust, the user data provided in productivity score is aggregated over a 28-day period.”

In short, Microsoft has put out an egregiously invasive monitoring tool that's committed to privacy, but aggregates user data and is opt-in, even though the default is ON. Your administrator could switch this on by default and you'll not be able to switch it off.

Some of you might not understand my hatred of Microsoft. With years and years of Windows crashing experience and all news similar to the above, what reason is there to like them? I will not even tolerate them, and you should show your love accordingly.

• There are no peanut butter cracker packages in the house. That aside, the dog has one, and has been carrying it around for a week, like a treasured stuffed animal. She's not eating it.

Happys 

The Jimi Hendrix

Tina Turner

Quality of new houses went up 75%

Battleships Confide in Me and Tell Me Where You Are

Don't blame me... it's a Yes lyric, from Yours is no Disgrace.

• Airbnb claims its AI can predict whether guests are psychopaths.
• I can't speak for the technology, but it would explain why there's never an available reservation for me.
• Among other things, it mines your social media posts. Think abut that for a moment.

5 steps to protect your privacy in 2020, courtesy of Duckduckgo.com and Spreadprivacy.com

• I hate like hell to do this, but I try to be helpful... you can still downgrade to Win 10. Here's the method. No idea how long this will last.
• If you've decided to join the stampede to a different operating system, ANY operating system, there's always MAC and linux. Neither has a huge learning curve, they're both more stable, they're not advertising platforms, and no one spies on you (that's an assumption with MAC). You can try linux out without altering your system in any way, using a USB stick. You can also dual-boot Win and lin. Ask if you have questions or need tips.

Since I'm ranting anyway, and since I'm a glutton for punishment, we went out for breakfast the other day. Things have been much better since the days when my order would be forgotten or messed up. No one asks me to sit at a different table so their order will come out. We went to Ihop. There's an Ihop right around the corner, so we drive to the one 20 minutes away. The local one has incompetent waitresses and clientele better suited for a schoolyard, except for the guns (I hope).

I figured 2pm was good for breakfast, plus it wouldn't be crowded.
I was wrong.
Apparently church lets out and most of the parishioners go to Ihop after. That's ok, at least they're well-behaved (and color-coordinated).
SURPRISE! We got seated next to a child who was being LOUD.
When I say seated next to, I mean 3' away. The only way I could've been closer to him was to be seated at his table. He continued to explode into fits of Loud, at odd intervals, causing the other rug rats at the table to sound off too. He looked old enough to know better. I did hear his mom explain this was not acceptable (her words), but the child apparently thought it was perfectly acceptable. I would never hurt a child, so I suggested slapping the parents. We had made the cardinal mistake of eating out: eating out. We had also forgotten to ask for the No Screaming Children Section. The waitress heartily agreed. And you know, for a fact, that this little noisemaker was at the table for the entirety of our meal, until 5 minutes before we left.

I don't want to be That Guy<tm>, or sound like some cantankerous Old Dude<tm>, who eats dinner at 4pm and complains about everything. We don't eat out a lot, so it would be nice not to be disturbed when we do. The last time it was a screaming infant all the way across the restaurant (aspiring opera diva), plus 4 extremely chatty, very annoying early teens, who all talked at the same time, even when their table threatened to disintegrate from the noise and vibration produced by their flapping lips. Mrs lefty is trying to calm me down, so I didn't make an even larger spectacle, like last time, when I got hold of the soda hoses and sprayed down the entire noisemaking table, then swing around the room like Tarzan, reveling in the applause from the rest of the diners. I have no idea what Mrs lefty's problem is, but some of the church ladies said they'd pray for her.

I told Mrs lefty that this level of noise was unacceptable, unless there was a small nuclear event. When I pointed out that when we were kids, we were well-behaved, she said times have changed. This is true, but not screeching and disturbing the entire restaurant has never gone out of style.

Dear Abbie Ann:
We need help (desperately). Whenever we go out, there are children screaming and many restaurants don't have screaming children-free seating. What is the polite thing to do in this circumstance?
Puzzled in Pittsburgh.

Dear Putzled:
From the list of things you tried, I would highly recommend avoiding the ones involving hoses, bananas, body parts that aren't typically exposed, and service elephants with pet anvils.  Instead, I would have the waitress use hoses, bananas, body parts that aren't typically exposed, and service elephants with pet anvils. One must always do the right thing in the right way.
-Abbie Ann

• Samsung is coming out with a 43" display that automatically rotates for vertical content. If you think that's neat, you should see what it does for dance videos.

AT&T et al are fighting against higher upload speeds.
Other countries continue laughing at us.

• Our good friends at Faceyspaces are introducing a privacy tool at the 2020 CES show. 
• Because they were hauled in front of Congress, this tool completely ignores the items Congress addressed.
• A privacy tool. From Faceyspaces. This is like a tax-saving tool from the government.

New drinking game: set out your beverage of choice. Turn on the tv. Take a shot every time you hear "game changer."  Warning: You could be dead within an hour.

• New York is proposing a statewide virtual currency.
• You will only be able to spend 16 virtual dollars at once, because spending 32 is unhealthy and the state will protect them from it.

I have an idea.  [uh-oh]
No, it's barely even weird.
I think we should all have a Live Funeral.
A funeral is held for you, but you're there to watch it. You hear what people really think of you. I think we'd be pleasantly surprised.

Nobody was surprised to find me missing at important family gatherings. They all say, "That lefty - he's his own man."  That's some of what I think I'll hear at my live funeral. I want everyone to tell their best lefty story - the funniest thing they saw me do or the most awkward thing they saw me do. My funeral will have people rolling in the aisles.


Speaking of saying nice things, my old boss accepted a job in another state and we held a going away party for him. My responsibility was always a roast of whoever was leaving. He came up to me later and said it was the most uncomfortable few minutes of his life. I had done my job.

I'm sorry.
No, I'm not.
What you see is what you get. I'm like this on paper and in person.
Sometimes *I* can't believe some of the stuff I say... it just kinda comes out (did I really say that? oof!). They say I have no filters. I bought one last year, so at least I don't say FUCK too much in public. Well, I don't say FUCK near as much as I used to in public. I've cut it out almost totally at work. Almost.



Mahdokht Shaibani at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, developed a lithium-sulphur battery with a capacity 5x higher than lithium-ion. It could keep a phone charged for 5 days. By the end of the day, she will have the test results on flame resistance.

• Gay Grindr date murders man, forgets to disclose he's a cannibal.

The city of Oakland, California, is creating the Department of Violence Prevention to help crack down on violence.

Well, let's see. There are laws. Then there's the Department of Violence Punishment, aka The Police. What is violence prevention - pre crime? Going to schools and telling the children not to steal? Just say no to shooting?

• Some people aren't people people.

Linksys routers, already able to sense movement, will soon be able to monitor your breathing.  I feel queasy.  Naturally this means they will sell millions to well-meaning idiots, who will then complain when their health info gets into the hands of the insurance industry and hackers.

• Faceyspaces has banned deepfake videos. 
• If they can identify them.

The FBI can't unlock the Pensacola gunman's 2 iPhones, so they want Apple to.
Damn you, America.... if there were a backdoor, like the govt wants, this wouldn't be an issue. Stupid privacy people.




Today I identify as   pork.

• You cannot have a happy ending to an unhappy journey.
• Uh-oh.

Heroes of the Stupid

Florida woman threatened to rob McDonalds if she didn't get enough dipping sauce.




SJW Stuff

This summer, you'll be able to buy Trans salmon.
Ok, transgenic salmon, with spliced genes to make it grow faster indoors.
The trans salmon must be at least 25% of your total salmon purchase and demands you use its preferred pronouns: it, that, and wtf.

Eels Are in My Head, No Great Surprise to Me

She keeps seeing him out of the corner of her eye.
The kids leave the back door open, in case he needs to get in.
They both keep filling up his water bowl.
The house is quiet. It has only two occupants.
He is mostly functional, until somebody starts talking about him. There is a whole directory of pictures he looks at longingly.
People have been very good at respecting privacy.
The response from online friends is heartwarming.

There are two actual snail mail condolence cards. One is from the good neighbor's adult children. She was the one who he taught to feed him upon command. They sent their best and thanked us for watching out for Mom.

A card came from the vet. The staff who knew him each wrote a message.

It's amazing how one 40lb dog caught so many in his wake.

• Nearly a half-billion Internet of Things devices are vulnerable to cyberattacks at businesses worldwide because of a 10-year-old security flaw, according to a new report. The web exploit is called DNS rebinding, in case you really needed to know.
• Only half a half-billion?
• If you've got a Dongguan Diqee connected vacuum, a vulnerability will allow hackers to eavesdrop, perform video surveillance and steal private data from victims. Pro Tip: don't get your Dongguan Diqee caught in anything.
• Do not put these things in your house or business!
• I told you so.

If the Department of Justice finds out that a business or you are being hacked to influence an election they will let you know.

Make no mistake: hacking of any type is unacceptable.

But if your vote is caused or swayed by social media posts, perhaps you shouldn't be voting.

• Google's ("Do no evil"), new email interface invites all sorts of nefarious actors to send all sorts of nefarious emails. Even the DHS warned them about it. Read and note, please. Get off gmail.

I want you to know that I do not exaggerate the weather. Although it was sunny recently, things have gotten back to normal. From my weather app:

• Google ("Do no evil") registered duck.com.  Why? So anybody who made a mistake going to duckduckgo.com would get redirected to a google search. After Duckduckgo protested, Google removed the autoredirect.

Dear Science: why does Coke taste weird after eating food like chocolate? Can you please do something about it? Thanks.

• There is something outside that sounds like a duck. What does a duck sound like? It sounds like those things you blow to call a duck. Since it's unlikely there's a duck outside, I want to know what it is. The last time I asked Wife what a noise was, she said squirrel. I wonder if squirrel is just a default answer. To keep me from asking other questions.

A Virginia bank was hacked twice in eight months via phishing emails. The bank is suing its cybersecurity insurance for refusing to fully cover the loss. Godammit - we're stupid and you must pay for our stupidity!

• The Wendy Show is coming to Philly!
• Totally unrelated: Did you know that most people slit their wrists incorrectly? They slice across, when they need to slice along.

Let's get to know each other: send me your likes.

Here's my bio, as it appeared in Playboy:

Name: lefty - with a small l

State: Confusion, Chaos

Age: older than you

Greatest Strength: sarcasm. Like I care.

Ambition: yes

Aspiration: Big Rock Star<tm>

Hobbies: disturbing people

Favorite Food: pizza and Mila Kunis, pizza delivered by Mila Kunis

Favorite Activity: sitting

Favorite TV show: Marty Python - I know him

Favorite Car: 1970s Cadillac land yacht: trunk fits 12, 24 if you slice them thin

Pet Peeve: most animals (except polar bears) are right handed

I'm allergic to: mowing

What Really Bothers Me: everything

One Thing I Regret: blogging

Regret Missing Out On: Conical bras and free love

Favorite Sayings: No good deed ever goes unpunished, Don't

Favorite Song: "Sit On My Face, Stevie Nicks"

Favorite Artist: The Anal Intruders

How I Would Change the World: the illuminati would hire me as a consultant

If I Could Be a Tree, I'd Be a:  #1 - the Larch

Coworker Follies #37
ME: I'm forwarding this email because I can't read it.
HIM: I'm not sure what you're asking.
ME: I can't read this email. Can you?
Him: No.
ME: Thank you.
Him: I still don't understand. What are you talking about?
ME: Ask your doctor for medicine.




Two New Jersey radio hosts are suspended until further notice for referring to someone as a rag head. It's not what I'd do in the same situation but I have to step up for the sake of speech and gains.

There's a lot of history here.
Up until roughly the late 70s, radio was pretty sterile. A few hosts were trying to break the mold and get away with things. The big breakthrough was Howard Stern, like him or not. Howard fought like mad to get things on the air that had never been there before. He did battle with his own radio stations as well as the FCC.  He eventually won and went national. Howard broke through and got to say and do things never done before. He won a lot for radio hosts. While he was in trouble with the FCC, there was an unlikely coalition of hosts and others who volunteered to help in the fight. He really pushed the envelope.

For some reason, freedom of speech does not apply to radio and television. I strongly disagree with this policy. George Carlin satirized this in The Seven Dirty Words You Can't Say on TV. The FCC is a completely ineffective organization that has proven that they speak for broadcasters, not the people.

While this fight was going on, the place to hear all the really good stuff was watching comedy at clubs and colleges. It was radical and hysterical. It started comedy's heyday. WTF is a heyday?

At the end of the 80s, my band played classic rock and comedy. Then we decided on comedy and achieved success nationally on radio stations, clubs, and colleges. We even appeared on the Howard Stern Show. Things were going well, until we noticed that colleges were pretty weird. No, really? At the end of one show, a 'concerned' student came up to talk to us. He was upset we were picking on women. And Jews. And Jewish women. Oddly, he didn't have any complaints about any other group. He accused us of all sorts of things. We were witnessing the start of Political Correctness. This was pretty odd in colleges, once the forefront of edgy comedy.

You know what happened with Political Correctness. It worked as diligently as possible to make sure all fun was canceled.  Words hurt. They probably kill too. Yes, the Social Justice Warrior was born. It only got worse, and continues to this day on social media and in person.

Now two disc jockeys have gone and offended the PC crowd. Again, I don't agree, but it's important to stand up for free speech, because free speech includes speech with which you do not agree. They went and said something offensive. They ran afoul of the PC crowd. Whatever you think about this, this is taking back all the gains Howard Stern made. Soon we'll be as sterile as radio til the 70s. If this is to be cyclical, we're wasting a lot of time and energy. My wife was trying to take the side of the listeners, saying that making fun of this person's turban was like making fun of somebody wearing a cross. I said that was just fine. No sacred cows. After some thought, she agreed that freedom of speech shouldn't be abridged. She's right, aside from the fact that she agreed with me.

• Last and definitely least, there's a dangerous new drinking game on college campuses. Parents are being warned, as are the children themselves: it's called the Ancient Aliens Drinking Game. You watch Ancient Aliens and take a shot whenever they say "ancient astronaut theorists believe...". Thus far, no one has made it to the second commercial break, 45 have wound up in the hospital, and thirteen are dead. Warn your children. Do not post this on social media or more people will die.

Show us your picks!

We Need More Diversity in the Blogosphere

Like that? I generally don't get to say hip things like blogosphere.
And I generally don't want to say things like diversity.

I just came across a disturbing article, describing how a diversity research group wants to bring greater diversity to the entertainment industry. Of course this is a college professor, because a really large number of really bad ideas come from college professors.  The original name of the group was Media, Diversity, & Social Change Initiative. The new name is the Annenberg Inclusion Initiative and it includes people from UMG, Disney, Sony, and others.

I hope that readers of ThermionicEmissions know by now that I have no problem with anybody except the Stupid. There are no problems with diversity, unless it's forced. And sure enough, this organization wants to force diversity upon the music industry. Not the artists - we can all agree that there are few fields as organically diverse as music. No, they want to make everybody from label owners down to recording engineers and coffee getters more diverse.

Most of the people I know are old-school, like me. They believe you should hire the best qualified person for the job, regardless of gender, race, origin, handicap, dominant hand, etc. The new breed of PC social engineers feels it more important to have diversity than the best person for the job. I find this infuriating, as it's gaining traction and being accepted, even if grudgingly.

Philadelphia had an issue in the past few years that perfectly exemplifies the issues with social engineering diversity.  Someone decided the Philly Police did not have enough black people on the force. I have no idea who or how they made the decision. So they did whatever was necessary to hire more black people. The problem showed up during testing, when some of the black people did not score well in the tests. Rather than hiring people who could pass the test, the police department lowered the standards for the test and for hiring.

I don't know about you, but I want the best and brightest protecting me. If you prefer a more diverse force over a good force, I suggest there's something wrong with you.

I want to emphasize that I'm speaking about people getting the job solely because of diversity. If they can do the job as well as anyone else, there is no issue.

If I'm recording, I want a great engineer and producer. I don't want a new hire who got in because she has internal plumbing, plus less skill than the other candidate.

A relative took a test for a government job. She did well. Unfortunately the minority lady who didn't test as well got the job, because they needed to hire minority people. This is called discrimination.

After the professor gets done making the entire entertainment industry inclusive and diverse, I have some more work for her to do...

• women need to start or get caught harassing men. There are no reports of this at the present time - all harassers are men. This is not inclusive or diverse. Something needs to be done.
• take a good look at professional hockey. See any Asians? Women? Jews? Get on the ice and get some diversity happening!
• Basketball and football have a black male majority. Is this tolerable in 2017? What about transgenders? Women who identify as Caterpillar backhoes? When was the last time you saw a vertically-challenged person (midget) on the court?
• My body is genetically male. I identify as male. This is not diverse at all. What can we do about this situation? Do I qualify as diverse when I have sex because I'm connected to a woman (customarily my wife)?
• NASCAR: men. Old and young white men. With silly hats outside the oval. Why not throw a few women in there, who have never operated a manual transmission? Some math geeks, who have never gone over 25mph? A few anarchists, who don't believe in seat belts or helmets?
• WHERE ARE THE FAT PEOPLE in olympic gymnastics? Sorry - people of size.
• when was the last time you saw a baseball game with a left-handed catcher? Or a donkey?
• Why are there no clowns in Congress?  Wait - let me rephrase that. Why are there no people with big red noses and thick makeup.. no, that won't work either. People with caked on white makeup, floppy shoes, and noses that light up. I give up. You get the idea.

In case you're amused or you just want some less than pleasant news, there's an android bug that can potentially affect up to 75% of phones, excluding the latest version of android (Oreo). The long and short of it is you need to be looking for a popup, asking permission for the MediaProjection service to access something. Unfortunately, a potential attacker can detect when this comes up and put another popup on top of it (tap-jacking). The immediate solution, as most of solutions go, is to Just Say No. This service is typically used in taking screenshots. IF you can locate the service, you can turn it off and/or disable it. Be aware with all popups.

• Linux users: here's a quickie on using the mlocate or locate commands, from the command line. Not to worry, there's a 'find' program in the graphical interface, so you don't have to use the command line. Wuss.

Germany has banned the sale, distribution, and possession of kids' smartwatches. Dropping my libertarian objection to government getting involved in business, this is a very interesting phenomena. Germany's problem with these is that they are spy devices, as I said when I discovered them. This is a case of government actually doing something helpful. In the US, we're more concerned about forcing a bakery to bake a cake for a gay wedding.

• Duckduckgo, the search engine that doesn't track you, has some stats and suggestions on privacy. I use it and highly recommend it. You can set it as the default search engine on most browsers.

Best phrase of the week: I looked down and there was a baby in my sweatpants.

• While people are busy dying, we must unfortunately add another name: David Cassidy, late of The Partridge Family. I don't think anyone makes it out alive, pardon the pun, from childhood stardom.
• David's cause of death was listed as complications from dementia. Two days ago, he went into the hospital with what was described as needing an organ transplant, other organs failing, and doctors induced a coma. Once again we have two completely different diagnoses. This happens a lot.

If you're gonna sext, which I don't recommend, here are Motherboard's basic steps to protect yourself. Good reading, regardless of information sent. I don't recommend sexting not for moral reasons - I just don't send anything out that could cause grief if read by anyone else. Email can't be unsent, texts are kept, and pictures are saved. Do not send or text anything you don't want people to know or see. This is also the reason not to store data 'in the cloud.' Look at the celebrities whose accounts got hacked and their very private pictures got posted all over the internet.

• There are certainly any number of reasons to hate Google. The most recent one is that since January, android phones have been sending your location information to Google. Google, of course, says they're not using the data and just throwing it away. This happened whether your location setting is on or off.  Naturally Google is horrified and has no idea how this happened. The practice will end by the end of November. Do. Not. Use. Google. For. Anything.

Net Neutrality is all we're hearing about, as the vote looms. The FCC, like useless corporate puppets they are, are about to drop network neutrality, which will potentially allow cable and other companies to give certain traffic or users priority or low priority. While most would encourage Net Neutrality, this is a red herring. The real issue is whether government should be involved in the internet. The answer, as it is with everything else, is no.

• Texas Rangers have sent Apple a search warrant to get data from the Texas church shooter's phone. The last time data was requested, Apple refused and the FBI paid a hacker to retrieve the information. I hope that Apple will refuse again.

A trombonist was practicing and somehow managed to send his wife a text message, via voice recognition on his phone. Google and Apple keep your voice commands - this is fact. Now they'll have recordings of you practicing your instrument. No data is available on which instruments are able to send text messages, but we recommend you do not play with your instrument with voice recognition on. The message looked like this:

(1/5) Woo woo woo woo hoo hoo woo who wu woo woop woop etc etc etc.

• Uber announced this week that they suffered a breach of 57 million user accounts in 2016. Why did it take over a uear to report? Uber paid the hackers $100,000 to keep the hack a secret and delete the data. Stolen was names, email addresses and phone numbers of 57 million Uber customers and names and driver's license numbers of about 600,000 US drivers.
• The CSO and an employee were fired. The founder and former CEO was made aware of the breach a month after it happened. Two months later. the new CEO may or may not have had knowledge of the breach, which happened before she took the position.
• The data was hacked from Amazon Web Services (THE CLOUD).
• Last year Uber was fined $20,000 by the New York attorney general for failing to report a different breach in 2014. (wow - 20k! I'll bet they felt punished)
• Uber recently agreed to twenty years of privacy audits by the Federal Trade Commission for failing to provide reasonable security for consumer data.

Uber Related Continuing Rant:

Why have I been poking at THE CLOUD forever? Because once you can no longer touch your data, it is no longer your data.

Why don't I give out my data? Because companies will misuse it for marketing, sharing, selling, and it might get stolen.

Why might it get stolen? Because companies don't know and/or don't care about protecting the data, whether it's them or a third party. Something will be configured wrong or passwords will be leaked and the data will get stolen.

Why turn your phone's location service off? Do you seriously want anyone to know where you've been or where you are? It's not that you're important or unimportant; it's the fact that your data is yours and should remain so. Your location data, also kept by Uber, can be used to figure out what you were up to, which is nobody's business but yours. 

Rest assured that if someone can get your data, they will, and it will be used for their purposes, whether you know or approve or not.

ThermionicEmissions is beyond excited to announce our early Christmas present: Marshall's final chemo treatment was canceled, because he's doing so well. It's just blood work now.

The vet is pleasantly surprised and we're thrilled.

We get our baby for longer, and the doc's Mercedes is now paid off.

Look at that face...

From the bottom of my heart, thank YOU for stopping by.