They're wrong.
- For the first time in 40 years, Pizza Hut is changing its pan pizza recipe. Focus groups show the original one wasn't close enough in taste to its cardboard container. They fixed that.
We got some tornadoes recently, in AR, OK, OH, PA, NJ and NY.
The damage was horrendous.
But once again, knee-jerk humanity came out, pulled out its camera, and took video of the tornado. When did Take Video win the battle with Survival Instinct?
Bob Arkansaw knew the tornado was on its way and did the only thing he could: he whipped out his phone and took video of it. Over there, on what remains of his house, is a small red stain that was once Bob.
Dear lefty:
- Is there a colostomy bag that's actually pretty?
- You're single, aren't you...
A Florida (you knew it was coming) man was arrested after assaulting his mother with a corn cob. Did they close all the schools in Florida? Are the clouds seeded with valium? Do they grow corn or was it imported? Imported corn causes the most damage - don't ask how I know....
A Florida woman didn't flush the toilet. When her roommate complained, a fight ensued, which involved yelling, spitting, and swinging a plunger. Plunger Control! Sensible people do not need to own plungers.
- the Canadian Border Patrol seizes about two tons of amphetamine per year. They're frightfully quick, but have no teeth, eh?
A typical locomotive, with a 12 cylinder diesel engine, once powered 1,600 houses during a power outage. Each engine piston is larger than an entire car engine and the engine weighs over 30,000 tons. Trains are also an efficient means of suicide, if you ignore cleanup.
- In case you woke up at 3am, wondering about Earl Grey tea, what makes it unique is oil of bergamot: this is what makes it taste like drinking soap.
A man who peed in a Memphis cereal factory has got 10 months in prison. When released, he will work for Shredded Wheat, helping to improve the taste.
Isn't Pervasive Surveillance Wonderful?
Someone kills a female, puts her body in a suitcase and throws it out. It is discovered at the trash dump. All haulers are interviewed: one remembers picking the case up at a dumpster. A neighbor's security camera fails to capture the killer depositing the case.
Detectives examine the suitcase, discover it's new, and pull the UPC code. The UPC shows it was only sold through Walmart, of which there are two locally. Walmart magically pulls the sales records and finds two people bought this suitcase. The first was at 9pm, so they pull up the security camera for the specific checkout lane. Records indicate the lady who purchased the case was a Walmart Rewards member, so they pull up everything she's done and check on her, to find she's got no criminal record.
Second person to purchase this suitcase (3am) was wearing a distinctive shirt, so it was easy to track him throughout the entire store. A good look was provided by the cashier overhead camera; he also purchased disposable gloves, and calmly walked out. In fact there were several angles of him walking out. Then two parking lot cameras gave two views of him in the lot, plus what vehicle he got into and what direction it left in. The videos matched a verbal description of the man, plus the color and type of vehicle. He was arrested for murder.
That's how pervasive surveillance was used to track down a killer. Not mentioned was the rich amount of data available from his cell phone or electronic data going to the store.
None of us murder people (I hope), but are you comfortable with this level of surveillance? This is only physical... electronic surveillance is much worse. You may say to yourself that you're not guilty, so it's ok. It is not ok. We deserve freedom from this kind of monitoring, regardless. Just like certain agencies monitoring your email, phone calls, and browsing. We have Amendments prohibiting this sort of thing.
Please give this some consideration.
Isn't Pervasive Surveillance Wonderful?
Someone kills a female, puts her body in a suitcase and throws it out. It is discovered at the trash dump. All haulers are interviewed: one remembers picking the case up at a dumpster. A neighbor's security camera fails to capture the killer depositing the case.
Detectives examine the suitcase, discover it's new, and pull the UPC code. The UPC shows it was only sold through Walmart, of which there are two locally. Walmart magically pulls the sales records and finds two people bought this suitcase. The first was at 9pm, so they pull up the security camera for the specific checkout lane. Records indicate the lady who purchased the case was a Walmart Rewards member, so they pull up everything she's done and check on her, to find she's got no criminal record.
Second person to purchase this suitcase (3am) was wearing a distinctive shirt, so it was easy to track him throughout the entire store. A good look was provided by the cashier overhead camera; he also purchased disposable gloves, and calmly walked out. In fact there were several angles of him walking out. Then two parking lot cameras gave two views of him in the lot, plus what vehicle he got into and what direction it left in. The videos matched a verbal description of the man, plus the color and type of vehicle. He was arrested for murder.
That's how pervasive surveillance was used to track down a killer. Not mentioned was the rich amount of data available from his cell phone or electronic data going to the store.
None of us murder people (I hope), but are you comfortable with this level of surveillance? This is only physical... electronic surveillance is much worse. You may say to yourself that you're not guilty, so it's ok. It is not ok. We deserve freedom from this kind of monitoring, regardless. Just like certain agencies monitoring your email, phone calls, and browsing. We have Amendments prohibiting this sort of thing.
Please give this some consideration.
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| Party this weekend!!! |
