You've Got Your Pandemic on my Rhinocerous

Catholic priests are so upset about COVID-19....

HOW UPSET ARE THEY?

They're so upset, they're demanding clean COVID-19 tests from little boys before molesting them.

[you know you'll be telling that one at work tomorrow]



Cell Phone Stupidity

Verizon is offering a phone plan that contains a Yahoo Mail account.
Next they will offer a plan that includes an AOL account and a bag phone.

Comcast mistakenly published names, phone numbers, and addresses of nearly 200,000 customers who paid monthly fees to make their numbers unlisted.
Customers paid $3.50 to $5.50 monthly for this service. Comcast will not be satisfied until they have sucked every cent possible out of you. Then they'll find a way to get more.  This is a perfect example of a duopoly: Philly allowed only 2 cable companies to operate: Verizon and Comcast. More competition would drive prices to more reasonable levels.

• Are female urinals the answer to queues at the loos?
• What a tremendous idea... women's bladders are smaller than men's, so the lines are always longer.
• FEMALE URINALS? WTF?

Alex Jones ordered to stop selling fake coronavirus cures, by New York attorney general. Apparently generating coronavirus PANIC is ok, though. New York desperately wants to be the new California, and is working very diligently toward it. Like him or not, leave Alex alone. It truly is the responsibility of the buyer, not government. The AG referred to Jones' 'latest mistruths'.  I wonder if it's ok to sue an Attorney General for this. It's defamation, but apparently there are no statutes against that.  If nothing else, Alex is quite (inadvertently) funny. No one else would bullhorn the Bilderberg meetings.


Data of millions of eBay and Amazon shoppers exposed

To their credit, eBay and Amazon are not involved; instead it was a third party. So you're still exposed. What can you do?

• The White House told federal health agency to classify coronavirus deliberations
• Just cut it the f- out. There's always need for secrecy, but we're beyond out of hand now. We pay YOU, yet you decide what we can and can't see? Government for and by the people, not leading the country, doing what you feel like.
• If we had a real pandemic, these 'public servants' would classify that too. The people have no 'need to know.'

AT&T CEO pay rose to $32 million in 2019 while he cut 20,000 jobs

To be clear, I have no trouble with corporate salaries. I am not a socialist and don't believe these people are obligated to share their wealth. What bothers me is that he did it on the backs of those 20,000 ex-employees (most likely among other things). This is a personal opinion, and out of step with the libertarian position that it's a private company and can do what it wants. I'm am not a hypocrite: I just hold 2 differing opinions at the same time.  There was also a hedge fund involved here somewhere; it was over who was going to maintain the hedges outside the corporate offices.

• One of the reasons I like Firefox is the addons. My latest is Mouse Gesture Events. You'd be surprised (maybe you wouldn't) what you can do with just a mouse gesture.  Forward, backward, shut current page and go backward, all sorts of stuff. It's in the normal addons spot.
• Another is ColorfulTabs. The default Firefox has tabs that are all the same color. This auto-colors them so the one on top is easy to find. You can also make it use colors you prefer.
• If you're running Firefox under linux and want to use the Backspace key to go back a page, open about:config, search for browser.backspace_action, change the 2 to zero. Done. Test to make sure.

One newspaper asked if the 2020 elections could be postponed because of the virus.  No, the country would never get that lucky.

An article in the Guardian says that the virus is creating hell on OCD patients who are compulsive hand-washers. Part of the treatment is not washing their hands.  Up until recently, those antibacterial dispensers weren't for viruses: they were OCD tests.

• Everyone's favorite dictator and Wild and Crazy Guy, Vladimir Putin, signed a boatload of amendments to the Constitution (not specified whose), allowing him to run for Dictator once more. The amendment after that one had him winning the election.
• Not to be ignored, the Bernie Bros have stated that they'd rather hand Trump the presidency than vote for Biden. When the NY Post published this, they used the word 'exodus.' I thought they meant the socialists were leaving the country. Oh well.....

Everybody's favorite perv uncle, Joe Biden, forgot the year and wandered out of frame during a livestream. This man is presidential material. THIS is the Joe Biden we wanted to see while he was Vice President. It has been speculated that President Obama told the Secret Service to tie Uncle Joe to a chair for 8 years. Unless they find him with a 5 year old in a hotel, where pictures and video are already on the internet, this is the presumptive democratic nominee for president.

• Being stubborn, rigid may lower your risk of Alzheimer's.
• Hello... this is my wild card! Not only won't I get Alzheimer's, neither will my entire family. I have enough stubborn for the East Coast of the US.

EASTER

Happy Easter to those who celebrate (or care).
Although I'm not Catholic, I want you who are to enjoy whatever it is that you do.

In truth, I am part of a large, non-Catholic denomination that celebrates Easter. We are commonly known as the Holy C (candy). The malted balls are a favorite here, as well as the Reese's white chocolate candy.  As with any group, we had to split into 2: the people who dive right in, and the people who wait a day, til the candy goes on sale. Having been both, sometimes on the same day, I belong to the Sale Group. If I find myself at an Easter celebration and there's candy, I will switch over to the Dive Right In group for the day. I know, I know, religious hypocrisy. But let's face it: I'd have to want to leave the house and go to an Easter celebration for that to happen.

Since I'm not Catholic, my view of Easter is largely candy, complicated by reality. It's never fun when reality creeps into the picture. So I'm going to explain Easter to my fellow non-Catholic readers (so you'll only sound like a partial doofus at gatherings).  Warning: if you are an easily-offended Catholic, you want to stop reading right now. Solution: if you are easily-offended, you wouldn't be reading this blog, so....


Easter: Jesus comes out of his cave and looks around. If he goes back in, with a sad look on his face, we get another 6 weeks of gloomy weather (this happens regardless of Jesus where I live). If he goes jogging, it will be a good year for the crops (and thusly, Monsanto).  The final option, Jesus doing miracles, has been hoped for over 2,000 years. He will heal the sick (putting doctors and insurance companies out of work, so their lobbies got this option taken off the sheet). He will cure ailing cars (putting mechanics out of work, so they, too, got this removed from the list). Lastly, he will create peace the world over. This option proved the most difficult. This would force the Military Industrial Complex to starve, ruining entire economies, and giving millions nowhere to fight, causing worldwide starving. Jesus had no way of knowing that Peace = Starvation. Also put out were the politicians, who pretended to care about peace, and the one actually working for it. Lastly, President Trump was all set, in his third term, to create peace in the middle east, so he's Very Mad at Jesus. His only remaining satisfaction is that he's still richer than Jesus. They will go on to be great friends - the best of friends. Can I have a hand for Jesus? Jesus will be white-listed at all the presidents' golf clubs, resorts, and hotels (although I'd stay away from New York for a few years).

Stations of the Cross: this is where you guess how many gas stations will be open on Easter Sunday. This is a very complex religious game, because many stations have not set their hours yet. Exceptions: any gas station that produces its own food, like Fried Quickie Chicken. Any station run by a Sikh, and anything with an expiration date. The stations are north, south, east, and Bob.

Palm Sunday: This is where the devoted, the semi-devoted, and the people who are dragged into it by relatives, for some reason, beat each other about the head and shoulders with palms. At this point, they realized that this palm thing isn't all that bad, right?  This is also the time when the non-Catholics start to pay attention and think maybe these Catholics have a point. However, they want to modify Palm Sunday so the celebration is done at individual homes, sometimes with only 2 people, sometimes with up to 25.  Sssshhhhhhh  - the safe word is BUNNIES.

Ash Wednesday: People go to church, whereupon a person in a very silly white getup puts ashes on their forehead. The first time I saw this, I was aghast... how could people walk around with dirty foreheads for an entire day? My friends, bless them, took me aside and explained it to me. Then I became privately aghast. I have it on good authority that children sometimes celebrated this holiday in their own individual tradition: they smoked a cigarette, while writing their excuse notes for school, and put the ashes on their foreheads. This only worked once, because Catholic mothers know the difference between cigarette ashes and Proper ashes. Even modern science can't tell the difference, but MOM can. They just never asked her. Oddly enough, Jewish mothers can also tell, but nobody asked them either. The Jews think Jesus was ahead of his time: he worked at the first ever Car Wash. This gave him a lot of spare time to do miracles and stuff.

Jesus: I was really far out of the loop on Jesus, so it took quite a while to figure out this whole Father, Son, and Holy Ghost thing. You can't be 3 people.... unless.... Jesus with the first with multiple personalities! Just wait til the church starts fighting with psychology! The church will say there's no such thing as multiple personalities. Psychology will say there's no such thing as Jesus. It will be funny to watch for the first few hundred years; after that, it will get tedious.


Good Friday: The Catholics, overnight, in a quiet raid, borrowed a worldwide tradition. After an entire week of working, we celebrate by getting drunk, having sloppy sex, hugging telephone poles, eating things that don't go well with alcohol, and drinking alcohol that doesn't go well with other alcohol. Everybody looks forward to Friday. When the Catholics 'appropriated' it, they gave official standing to Friday Activities. The only thing they changed was during sloppy sex, you cannot use a condom, and you have to have sloppy sex strictly for having a baby.  Good Friday happens 52 times a year, but officially it only happens once. If you forget and use a condom in your drunken state, you must enter the Holy Closet and whip out a few bills for the poor and the PAL (Priests Alcohol Locker).  You are forgiven, and free to go out and do it again next Friday.


Super Saturday: This is a brand new (under 1,547 years) tradition that means nothing. Saturday just felt lonely, between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, thus was given its own holiday. We all have the person in the family who thinks he deserves his own holiday.... no one invites him to family parties, yet he shows up anyway.


Easter Sunday: on this day, most of the stores are closed. This is the way you can tell Catholics are serious about this holiday. Skipping ahead a few months, this is why the Jews eat Chinese food on their holidays. The Catholics have no choice but to eat at delicatessens, where they think corned beef is some dark shade of red, not brown, as Jesus decreed.


Easter Monday: when the candy sales start. Also typically when employers give their employees the day off, in celebration of Jesus the candy sales.

• According to a Vatican exorcist, one exorcism he presided over had the person levitate and stay on the ceiling for 6 hours.
• YOU - You get down off the ceiling and get exorcised, you demon from hell. This is precisely what my mother used to say to me.

Today I identify as   a missing COVID-19 test kit, going for $1950 on Ebay


Heroes of the Stupid

Utah may make it illegal for cops to masturbate in their cars.
Is there a need for this law? what about at home?



SJW Saltiness


Bulletin: It's racist to shut down travel from places that are heavily diseased.
It's racist to identify where the disease came from.


Furry hate is always just a cover for queerphobia
not when the #1 show in the nation features furries...


Tammy Bruce: Dem erasure of Tulsi Gabbard is the ultimate misogyny
Damn - I thought having a penis was the ultimate misogyny

Wearing a Backpack to Bed

Definitions:

do what? - huh?  - "Pardon me, I'm from the South"
fixin tuh, bout tuh  - "Pardon me, I'm also from the South"
difficult - asshole  (He is a real difficult person.)
wtf? - with the fudge  (Bring me a glass of milk with the fudge.)

• When you're watching COPS, and the policeman gives the driver a drunk test, do you wait for the driver to say, "I can't do that when I'm sober." After the policeman explained what the tests were for, I realize I'd fail them completely sober. On my way to jail, I'd ask for a blood test. I'd be the only person ever arrested for driving sober.
• Well, maybe not the only person... my wife has something called positive tilt. Long and short is that when she closes her eyes, she tilts to one side and will fall over if she doesn't open her eyes. A doctor once did a test for this and wondered why I sprinted across the exam room to catch her. We're a hell of a team.

"I'd rather the police investigate a crime of misogyny than a burglary."

- English journalist Suzanne Moore

"Unless my house was being burgled."

- also English journalist Suzanne Moore

This would be an hysterical gag in a book or comedy routine if it weren't true.
How did we get here? How many Founding Fathers of all countries are spinning in their graves? Founding mothers - sorry.

It is rumored that Cindy Lauper's mother used to tell little 5 year old Cindy that she sang like an angel. Cindy grew up, thinking she could sing and inflicted her voice upon the public.  Perhaps Suzanne Moore's mother told her it was so cute, the way she went on about girls being better than boys, so she went into journalism. She actually believes this stuff. Maybe the publics got used to this by breaking us in to the Stupid, event by event. It seems to start in colleges, where the professors are so liberal, they make Michael Moore look like the alt right. The kids, whose parents pay over $50k per year to send their little impressionable snowflakes for a college education they'll need to get a job at McDonalds. They will get fired for organizing a strike because the staff is primarily male and black, so she's fighting the Patriarchy, which is racist and misogynist.

Twenty years down the pike, when society tires of being run by people who make stuff up that you can't debate without being called a name, it will be interesting to see where these people land.  Suzanne Moore was forcibly retired because the college couldn't afford the security bills of most people trying to stuff things in her mouth. She identified as black and was allowed to retire with pay after declaring the college racist. The legal case was reversed when the jury couldn't say the verdict without cracking up til they couldn't breathe.

Suicides will go through the roof, as middle-aged snowflakes realize calling people names no longer works for them and jobs hire on ability instead of gender and fear of being called a name. In the end, no one cares and half the country is out drinking. By the end of the night, they will have no idea what they're celebrating.

• There is a new system to monitor blood sugar. The commercial features a guy with a guitar plugged into a huge amp (logo blacked out). Anybody who plays guitar knows this is absolutely stupid. The amp is Marshall sized, which are the huge amps used by everybody from Hendrix to present day stars. If you put an acoustic guitar through this amp, the feedback alone would deafen you. This might be a plus if you sound like what we hear on the radio these days.
• A different commercial is about the things necessary to purchase a house. It involves the tasks necessary, like getting a raise and lowering expenses. One expense was 'buying stupid things', at which point they show the male holding up a Les Paul guitar and the wife shaking her head no. I'm going to write a complaint to the company, demanding they stop this rabid musician-ism. Some of us spend all of our disposable income (after pizza and ice cream) on guitars and related accessories. 
• As for the blood sugar monitor, this absolutely creeps me out. You might have seen it, with a bicyclist plus a mother with baby, holding the device up to a white sensor on their arm. WHAT is the sensor? Why is there a plastic disc attached to their arm? HOW is it attached? Is it wired right into the nervous system so Big Pharma can get you to buy more? Are you now chipped? Will I ever get the medicine I need?

We can all agree that Leah Remini has done a great job on her expose of Scientology. We can also agree that Leah Remini is a beautiful woman. Unfortunately in Hollywood, women must be forever young, so Leah had a facelift and/or botox. You'll see her face as a little different, especially compared to earlier pictures. If you look closely, you'll see her bottom lip not moving much when she speaks. This is especially visible in Cher, who has had so many surgeries, she no longer looks like the first few Chers the public got to know. Sonny, if he suddenly achieved life, wouldn't recognize her.

A lonnnnng time ago, Leah was on a sitcom, and I decided I needed a picture. I wrote to her (in actual writing, requiring paper and an envelope), and told her I wasn't a stalker, but would love an 8x10. She sent me one immediately and autographed it. What a sweetheart [sigh].

• Before the last election, those Hate Does Not Live Here signs started popping up. Across the street, a sign appears, stating Love Lives Here: Love of family, country, and God. I'll leave it to you which house voted how.
• I felt peer pressure and put up my own sign: Leave Me the F- Alone ( a libertarian mantra).

My tv app sprouted something called Sports Devil. Those of you keeping track, including those of you not keeping track, know how I feel about sports: I'd rather spend time with the devil than watch sports. As for golf, I'd rather go to the dentist, but we're not sure golf is actually a sport.

• Best line this week: I was totally asleep until I woke up....

I started losing my hair in my late teens. I blame my mother.
A girlfriend, who knew a lot about hair, gave me some special shampoo and a brush to use in the shower. This never worked out because my mother refused to let my girlfriend shower with me. I resent her to this day.

This particular girlfriend was interesting. Yes, they were all interesting, but this one was interesting. She was very proud of her body. This worked out well because I was too. She was..... gifted.... up top. I found out she was so proud that she had nude pictures done up professionally (this was waaaaay before selfies). I found this out later, when my brother told me she had a very nice upper half. She showed him the portrait.

Another girlfriend, who didn't take naked pictures of herself, invited me to sleep over one night. Her mom came in the room the next morning and I experienced Panic Shutdown. I stood there, on the bed, trying to be invisible, or disappear behind the door, with only pants. She said hi and asked if I wanted anything for breakfast. It took four days before I could eat. I'd get up in the morning for work and the girlfriend would start a huge fight. I called later and asked her what that was about. "We didn't fight this morning.. what are you talking about?"  Uh-oh. This happened fairly frequently. Only in hindsight did I realize there was something up with her. Why do all my girlfriends have..... issues...?? The last girlfriend before I met Mrs lefty was intense. We were inseparable. I found out she was abused as a child. I know the doctors will have all sorts of theories on this: girlfriends and rescue dogs.

• I have learned Stuff today, so it's now a productive day. I'm feeling good about that, so it's back to pr0n.
• There are over 100 kinds of bacteria on the human hand
• The London subway system is older than me. Quite a lot. It's even older Hillary Clinton's most recent body (this is number 4)
• According to my weather app inside my tv app, it's 126 degrees. That makes me feel really stupid for turning the heat up this morning.
• The country went to Daylight Ruining Time recently, so set your clocks in a random direction, 37 minutes back. I wasn't aware of this until Wife told me. All my life I've relied upon women to tell me. First it was Mom, who called years after I moved out. The good news is all my devices automatically moved the correct 37 minutes. The bad news is that one appliance didn't: my alarm clock.
• If you like to tinker with Stuff in your cell phone, don't turn off the service that says [name of carrier] services. Trust me. Right after thoroughly intimidating the phone, I noticed a program crawling slowly on the computer. I suspect they talk to each other. Do yours? Or is it only mine that are against me? They say the new medicines are much better.

This morning I woke up to my dog being very happy to see me. I like this. The excitement level went through the roof and I realized the Doggie Alarm Clock had gone off. I looked over and she had her harness in her mouth. She looked like she had gagged herself. I went searching for another reason.. although we're pretty weird here, we are not Doggie Bondage weird. She was chewing her harness. Shaking my head, I removed the harness. Not to be outdone, I watched her grab her mommy's covers and removing them. Damn impressive. Was she nesting? No, she was chewing on them. She was a stray - maybe she picked up some odd habits. Currently she's guarding us, looking outside, making sure we're protected. Yesterday she protected us from someone closing their car door. For five minutes, she barked. You can't stop her either. You can get right in her face, pick her up, throw toys, but she will not falter in her protecting. She protects us from people knocking at the door and yesterday she protected us from dogs barking on tv.

Being an English cocker, I tried to get some Bonding Time by watching British television. Nothing. I'm starting to wonder if English cockers are just American cockers with longer noses...

• I need to rant again (still?) about the Experience, vs the Working. I downloaded a file manager for my phone. When I started it up, it tried to get to the internet 24 times. Whatever it was must've been urgent. Then it told me all the great stuff it did, like categorizing my files, waxing the car, watching the dog, analyzing and cleaning space. I don't WANT my files analyzed. If anything, I need analysis before the files do. On the front screen, there are options to select music, downloads, videos, archives, and dog hair. DAMMIT - I HATE THIS. I don't want a file managing experience... I want to manage my files! So I went for the Look At Your Files button, but there was none. I am not making this up.... you can NOT simply browse the file tree, like even Microsoft Explorer can. Have these people sprung a leak?
• The next file manager also grouped files, but there was a teeny tiny button to actually browse files. It was so full of ads, you couldn't tell where you were browsing, like driving through Camden at night.
• The third file manager was called Astro (that's Rastro for Scooby Doo fans). This one seriously impressed me. Not by allowing me to browse, but for getting stuck at the logo as it came up. There were only 9 attempts to access the internet. Ten minutes later the program came up, with the first screen being notification that they collect every piece of information you have, up to and including nose hair samples. Not with my firewall blocking internet access, they don't. Assuming it doesn't take 10 minutes to come up, this one's almost useful.
• I'm downloading a file manager because Android can't decide if the one I have is installed or not. Is this some sort of trans thing? I went looking for the included file manager, but it's not there. NOT THERE. The stock android file manager is not there. The Download app is not there. Halleleujah. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I put on a dress and let these programs phone home. Why a dress? HEY - I didn't type that....I swear....

I found this strange new thing for the house. My wife (forcefully) introduced it to me. It's called vacuuming (did I spell that right?).  Darndest thing... the floor gets Stuff all over it. Dog hair, people hair, large sheets of nuclear plans for this and that, coffee the dog didn't want because it was cold... you know. So you run this vacuum thing over the mess and it disappears, like Janet Jackson's nose*. Say what you want about tv shows and Janet Jackson's nose, but the problem is that they stay disappeared. Not so much the floor dirt. In fact, it seems to come back at twice the rate, like grass.  Let us review: if you make the bed, it will get unmade every single night. If you wash the car, it will rain or mud. If you mow the lawn, it will only grow and mock you. Why Bother? So I gave up on vacuuming.

It's a shame, though, as we are well-equipped. We have three. Why? How the f- should I know - I was just turned onto them.  We have a midline, which is ok, but clogs up; we have a really cheap one that will suck up large bolts and couches, and a famous, really well made, guaranteed for life unit that can lift a bowling ball (but not the fat kid from Stand by Me). I mention this not because it works, but because the moment we turned it on, it sucked up some pantyhose from one floor up and stopped working immediately. The shop just called.. our free lifetime warranty just expired.

• Quick concert update: remember the Long Island Medium - Theresa Caputo? The lady with the ridiculous accent and a virtual hair helmet? She's on tour. Imagine my consternation, trying to decide between a Led Zeppelin reunion and Hair Helmet. To Theresa's credit, Robert Plant is unlikely to tell me what my dead relatives are saying about me.

We just finished paying off one of Marshall's medical loans. He's laughing at us, somewhere. Penny must crack him up too. Speaking of medical loans, I was working in my office and kept reminding myself not to move the chair because I'd hit the dog. The dog was out visiting with her mommy, so I was the only one home. I continued to not move the chair because, dammit, there was a dog there. It wasn't any particular dog, just a dog, and not one I could see. The feeling was downright eerie because it was so strong.



*Janet Jackson's Nose: She's a big girl and can do whatever she likes, but it saddens me to see her going down Michael Road. It's dark there.. few lights.. a lot of turns you can't see.. and money.... lots and lots of money.  But I digress (always). None of the Jackson children were going to grow up normally, even if some got famous while they were young. The father caused damage, possibly physical. Add that to being Michael Jackson, with more money than nose sense, and you have the recipe for disaster. One of the best known and loved musicians in the world probably had few or no people to talk to. Thus there was nobody to call him on getting all Michael Jackson-y. Thus his mad desire to be a caucasian, despite the obvious issues. The man barely had a nose left, or so Howard Stern says. He built a playground in his back yard. While this is the dream of all children, that ship sailed 40 years before. A pet chimp. Tiny friends. A wife? Some more children that don't stand a chance.  So Janet - just show us your boobies (sorry - wardrobe malfunctions), not what you can do with regular rounds of recreational rhinoplasty.

rhinoplasty is a plastic surgical operation during which a horn is grafted to the forehead.
why is my female dog humping a sofa pillow? because my leg kept rejecting her?

Off We Go Into the Wild 2017

So how does some of our internet traffic get overseas? Via undersea cables, silly. Here is a brief article on the risks of using them.

• Twitter had a bit of fun the other night, as a fake BBC account broadcast that the Queen was dead.  People went insane, blowing up Twitter and generally going out of their minds. The most upset was probably Queen Elizabeth herself, who was most assuredly not exactly dead at that very moment. The Queen did miss her Christmas service for the first time in thirty years. Buckingham Palace said she was recovering from a heavy cold.  I sincerely hope that 'heavy cold' is not code for anything else.
• Poor Buckingham Palace... it's like the White House, always saying this and reporting that but with no real voice of its own. Ever think of what the White House would say if it could actually talk? "STOP BLAMING ME FOR SHIT," probably.

If you're going to steal money from an ATM, this is one of the most original ways to accomplish it. I say let them keep it.

• Sex and gender are interesting topics. Just in case you thought you had a clue, along comes androgen insensitivity syndrome to throw a small explosive into the mix... she looks like a goddess but she's genetically male...

As if anything here really surprised you, I wanted to bring the Real Shocker. The thing that's gonna f- up your new year. It's going to make you question your life up til now. Rearrange your priorities. Change your universe. You've been pooping wrong.

• the Big Story<tm> of 2017 is Russian Hacking. Don't spread this too widely, but I'm investigating a potential breach in my house. I think they hacked my bathroom. It started with the sink and I believe it has spread to the bathtub. No digital space is safe!

Some crank(s) in the UK are saying that "Office Cake Culture", where people bring in sugary treats after holidays and as a celebration, should be traded for hugs because the effects of all this sugar are toxic. You go, boys... drop them all off at my desk.

• I don't want to say I'm right all the time, but capsaicin, the substance that makes peppers hot, have been shown to kill cancer cells, so in effect, I'm right all the time. Next up: vegetables cause cancer.

Over in North Ireland, their First Minister got caught in a financial scandal. Calls were made for her to step down, which she dismissed as 'misogynistic'. Uh-oh, she played the Vagina Card.

• So, those electrical Smart Meters that I've been going on about for years... they're quite vulnerable to hackers, among other things. Who would've thought? Hackers can cut power to a home and cause the meter to explode. In 2009 there was a mass hacking in Puerto Rico. It's funny... these devices can benefit many interests, except ours...

Live in Utah? Wanna make a few bucks? Legislation has been introduced that will allow you to sue XXX sites if you watch too much porn.  Personal responsibility has packed up and run off with the high speed internet.  I'm wondering if I lived in Utah, could I sue Fender because I play too much guitar? Not mentioned in the article is the fact that Utah is the largest porn watcher in the US, per recent study.

• I signed up for a technical presentation at work. It suggested that perhaps I'd like to network with like-minded attendees, such as some dude named leftystrat. These guys are sharp as a bowling ball, they are.

it's like they KNOW...