Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Off We Go Into the Wild 2017

So how does some of our internet traffic get overseas? Via undersea cables, silly. Here is a brief article on the risks of using them.

  • Twitter had a bit of fun the other night, as a fake BBC account broadcast that the Queen was dead.  People went insane, blowing up Twitter and generally going out of their minds. The most upset was probably Queen Elizabeth herself, who was most assuredly not exactly dead at that very moment. The Queen did miss her Christmas service for the first time in thirty years. Buckingham Palace said she was recovering from a heavy cold.  I sincerely hope that 'heavy cold' is not code for anything else.
  • Poor Buckingham Palace... it's like the White House, always saying this and reporting that but with no real voice of its own. Ever think of what the White House would say if it could actually talk? "STOP BLAMING ME FOR SHIT," probably.

If you're going to steal money from an ATM, this is one of the most original ways to accomplish it. I say let them keep it.

  • Sex and gender are interesting topics. Just in case you thought you had a clue, along comes androgen insensitivity syndrome to throw a small explosive into the mix... she looks like a goddess but she's genetically male...

As if anything here really surprised you, I wanted to bring the Real Shocker. The thing that's gonna f- up your new year. It's going to make you question your life up til now. Rearrange your priorities. Change your universe. You've been pooping wrong.

  • the Big Story<tm> of 2017 is Russian Hacking. Don't spread this too widely, but I'm investigating a potential breach in my house. I think they hacked my bathroom. It started with the sink and I believe it has spread to the bathtub. No digital space is safe!

Some crank(s) in the UK are saying that "Office Cake Culture", where people bring in sugary treats after holidays and as a celebration, should be traded for hugs because the effects of all this sugar are toxic. You go, boys... drop them all off at my desk.

  • I don't want to say I'm right all the time, but capsaicin, the substance that makes peppers hot, have been shown to kill cancer cells, so in effect, I'm right all the time. Next up: vegetables cause cancer.

Over in North Ireland, their First Minister got caught in a financial scandal. Calls were made for her to step down, which she dismissed as 'misogynistic'. Uh-oh, she played the Vagina Card.

  • So, those electrical Smart Meters that I've been going on about for years... they're quite vulnerable to hackers, among other things. Who would've thought? Hackers can cut power to a home and cause the meter to explode. In 2009 there was a mass hacking in Puerto Rico. It's funny... these devices can benefit many interests, except ours...

Live in Utah? Wanna make a few bucks? Legislation has been introduced that will allow you to sue XXX sites if you watch too much porn.  Personal responsibility has packed up and run off with the high speed internet.  I'm wondering if I lived in Utah, could I sue Fender because I play too much guitar? Not mentioned in the article is the fact that Utah is the largest porn watcher in the US, per recent study.

  • I signed up for a technical presentation at work. It suggested that perhaps I'd like to network with like-minded attendees, such as some dude named leftystrat. These guys are sharp as a bowling ball, they are.

it's like they KNOW...

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