This Burger.... has no Burger

Your love is like  a date with the DMV

Feral hogs are the invasive menace you’ve never thought about

They run faster than you, destroy crops, steal your car, and run for local office

Today I identify as  Bill the Cat    ack. pbthllllllt.

The lefty Show Continues

I never wanted to be one of those people... so entitled... such an ass....

But it has happened, for some strange reason.

You see, I seem to feel I'm entitled to things. No, not free airplanes and jam sessions with Jimmy Page. I feel I'm entitled to have a decent day on the weekend. You know, no major trauma, some rest, and food. Today it was again brought home that I have unreasonable expectations.

I'd like to return this bacon burger.

What's wrong?

It has no bacon.

Yes, once again we stupidly left the house. It was only Wendy's, but we wanted bacon burgers. In fact, one of us got a bacon burger. But not me. Never me. I am the Black Hole of Customer Service. You might think phrases like "we don't have any fries" and "no, we're out of ketchup" are jokes. but they're real-life experiences of mine, at Wendy's. I should have known things were back to (ab)normal when the girl behind the counter had to stop our ordering process to ask a learned colleague if they had potatoes. Taking a leap of faith, I ordered a bacon burger with exactly 3 toppings, not even thinking that they could be out of (alleged) beef or bacon.

They had one of those wacky soda machines that dispense all 52 varieties of soda, but only actually contain 3 varieties, all diet. But you get a lot of exercise pushing buttons that all say "Not available" after you push them.

You know what happened to me, right? Out of 3 toppings, I got 2, and out of 1 bacon, I got none.

The doctors tell me this is entirely my fault. If I expected poor service every time, I would be overjoyed with the results. Since I have some feeling of entitlement, I am always disappointed.

So my life's philosophy has been proven correct: Expect the worst.

I don't want to say the house is a bit... disorganized and... maybe a little dusty... but if we could afford a maid, who turned out to be a real hottie, in a French maid uniform, I wouldn't bother her while she was working. Right now my fantasy is a clean house.

AND there's Wife's strict No Dating Policy.

Conversations with my Dog

Me: I noticed the other day you wouldn't go outside when I opened the door.

Her: Yes.

Me: Why was that?

Her: Because Mom does it better.

Me: Hang on... Mom lets you out better?

Her: Yes.

Me: I see. What else does she do better?

Her: Feed me, walk me, and drive me places.

Me: Yeah, but you take treats from me.

Her: I take treats from anyone.

Me: Never mind. Go upstairs - Mommy is sleeping and you don't want to miss that. She sleeps better than I do.

Creepy: last year, the place we bought the car sent me birthday wishes.

 It's always fun when news anchors spend a lot of time on an event, but have no new news, so they have to keep repeating things or just make them up. This morning it was that a juror in a case had the trial stopped because they needed a break. The host noted this and brought in an 'expert' to help digest this Breaking Event<tm>. The expert said something to the effect of 'I don't know', but said it more eloquently. I was waiting for a Color Commentator to pop in with the history of jurors requesting a time out.

Well, Julie, there have been many occasions when a single juror had to leave immediately. The most interesting, however, was in 1975 when the entire jury needed a break. This was traced to some really foul meatballs from Catering, that contained some sort of bacterium, driving every gastrointestinal system bonkers and halting the trial til the next day. The jury deliberated the rest of the day, from a bathroom down the hall. No one else was allowed in the bathroom, and a good thing that was. People couldn't stand to be outside the bathroom. At the end of the day, janitors entered the bathroom with hazmat suits and ultraviolet cleaning equipment. The ones left standing are still in therapy.

But how the hell do I know why the time out? You ask stupid questions. Fortunately you're very attractive, so you can ask me stupid questions all day. And don't forget my check for Consulting Services.

RIP Ahmad Jamal (92) - jazz pianist

The abortion pill holdup is ridiculous and completely illegal. Of course it comes from the religious right. I'm sure there are good things that come from that group, but the list is probably very small. It's a group bent on legislating its morals upon everyone.

ThermionicEmissions, as you would expect, has a solid position on this: we are pro-abortion. Not pro-choice, pro-abortion. We think they should be mandatory, especially in the 'Ruling Class.' We also believe in retroactive abortion, which can be performed up to 18 years after birth.

• My 'interesting' relationship with iDevices continues. If you remember, Werk forced another one on me. It turns out I'm not the only one who isn't fond of the things: this very morning, the dog yanked the charging wire and pulled the phone to the floor. A chip off the old blockhead, she is.

STOP THE PRESSES

Boy George & Culture Club is coming to my area!

I'd absolutely stand in line to miss this.

More ads in Windows 11 Start Menu could be last straw for some

People will take all sorts of abuse from their operating system. I wonder if anybody will leave.

ADS? I can assure you Mac and linux don't have ads. Once you install them, you own them. You don't pay to rent them and are not subject to lack of privacy. Your personal information is not stolen or sold. You are not a product. Your desktop features don't change with each release, or at least you can put them back. Linux is open source and free, as are all but the commercial programs. You can even run Windows under Mac and linux (Vmware or Virtualbox under linux). Neither OS requires command line input, unless you want to use it. Both have Windows-equivalent programs. Browsers are the same. A file menu is a file menu, in any OS. You can even make your desktop look exactly like Windows, if that's what you want.

I was sick of Windows 20 years ago. Perhaps it's time for wholesale change.

Moderna CEO brazenly defends 400% COVID shot price hike, downplays NIH’s role

WHO paid for this initially? Yes, your tax dollars, taken from you under threat of men with guns, property seizure, and jail time. Big Pharma wins Absolute Greed Award!

People literally die trying to get to this country. It stands as a beacon of the free world. They come here for the American Dream: to work for Big Pharma.

More Targeted Ranting

You know that one of my favorite topics is healthcare. This time it's a doozie, if we can ever begin to define doozie.

For those of you following at home, my new insurance has a $5,000 deductible, plus over $500 per month in premiums. I shopped Obamacare and found that my choices were very similar, so I went with a work plan.

I had to pick up a prescription the other day. This was at the only pharmacy chain I was permitted to use. The lovely lady behind the counter, flush with cleavage (moreso than most customer service people) rang the medicine up and hesitated, backing away from the register. This was a subtle sign that I chose to file away in the almost not-noticed category.

She asked if I knew I had a copay. Of course I had a copay, this was Obamacare. This is when I made my second mistake: "Hit me," I said.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

I forgot all about her cleavage, which is something I cannot normally avoid and asked her to repeat it, in case I had stuck an icepick in my ear or had a lapse in my ability to comprehend numbers.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars?

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

For medicine?

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

For an old, generic medicine I have to refill monthly.

Thirteen hundred and forty seven dollars.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, to quote South Park. What have we come to? This is a negotiated preferred price. I cannot afford that now, no less monthly.

What exactly were the criminal Obama and criminal Congress thinking? Oh yeah, gifts for the insurers and Big Pharma<tm>. How are (semi-)normal people supposed to afford healthcare? I have bloodwork scheduled and I'm wondering if I should mortgage the house in preparation. HOW IS THIS INSURANCE?

My doctor recommended a few online sites. Friends recommended Canada. I wound up at goodrx.com. This is a coupon-based site that negotiates deals. It even works with insurance. You can only go to certain places but they are chains, like Walmart. According to the website, my thirteen hundred and forty seven dollar prescription would cost me thirty seven dollars. Really - thirty seven dollars. Gee, that's a bit of a discount.

Off to Walmart. The medicine was six hundred dollars cash. With the coupon, it was only about three hundred and fifty dollars. Even the most math-impaired among us will recognize that the discount price was about ten times the advertised price. The kind gentleman behind the counter, completely without cleavage, informed me that the 'discount' price from the website was usually incorrect, even to the ten times figure.

A call to the site yielded the fact that although there were seven options, none of them led to a human (even after yelling the F-word, which sometimes gets you what passes for a human). Each option recommended performing that action online. Emailing would take twenty four hours, which I did not wish to spend wandering around Walmart, even considering this was a twenty four hour Walmart.

My very patient doctor prescribed something else, which was ready in ten minutes, at about sixty bucks with coupon from goodrx. When I suggested strangling the people who voted for Obamacare, the doc said it was actually Big Pharma<tm>. That's a lot of strangling. The situation is so bad that the doctor didn't have health insurance. Digest that for a moment.

Contact your Congressperson and demand a workable solution. This can mean torture and/or starving for people who need healthcare. You think gun-related violence is bad now? Wait til people can't get their psych meds.


With concern and respect,
-lefty

What is this.. Morning of Which You Speak?

The Czech presidential flag, which flies over the palace in Prague, was replaced with a pair of giant red underpants. This further shows how far America has slipped in creativity and protest. Any suggestions for what should fly above our executive palace (White House)? A giant condom? FOR SALE sign?

• In England, there has been an outbreak of 'Super-gonorrhoea'. Yes, Super-gonorrhoea: faster than a speeding Chris Christie, more powerful than Kim Kardashian's ass, able to leap large Colombian prostitutes in a single bound - it's Super-gonorrhoea!  

Why has someone put out an album of Taylor Swift covers?

• Captive Snake With No Male Companion Gives Birth, Again.
• Popemageddon continues.
• Microsoft writes its own linux.
• This is the END TIMES, people.....

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson (uh-oh, Tom) said that Muslims are unfit to be president. His campaign apologized for the remark and stated that what Dr. Carson meant to say was that African Americans are unfit to be president.

• Because of the probability of a nuclear deal, Iran is ratcheting down its rhetoric. Instead of weekly rallies with cries of DEATH TO AMERICA, THE GREAT SATAN, future weekly rallies will feature  NEAR-FATAL WOUNDING TO AMERICA, THE GREAT SATAN.

Secretary of State John Kerry says the US is ready to take more refugees (200,000). Skull and Bones to pick up the tab.

• The Great Unwashed are at it again: Obama supporters sign petition to nuke North Korea. This also explains the story this morning on women voting for Hillary simply because she's a woman.

Companies are offering sex reassignment in their health benefits packages. Meanwhile, I still have a $5500 deductible, Mr. President.

• Interesting fact: through the years, Protestants were afraid of a Catholic president because he'd impose his religion on the country.  Unlike the Protestants and the rest of the Christians. 

Defense bureaucrats are bashing numbers into a database in a bid to develop what the agency hopes will become an automated security scorecard, assessing vulnerability exposure across the country's networks and weapons systems.  A national database of hackable items and vulnerabilities - what could possibly go wrong?

• 49% of US citizens say government is an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens

The Pennsylvania Attorney General has been suspended from practicing law.  Note that she has not been suspended from being the Attorney General.

• A US pharmaceutical company bought the rights to a 61 year old medicine and promptly raised the price 5,000%, from $13.51 per pill to $750 per pill. The pill costs about $1 to manufacture. The CEO said they need to make a profit. UPDATE:  "We've agreed to lower the price on Daraprim to a point that is more affordable and is able to allow the company to make a profit, but a very small profit."

I'm learning that what happens in Florida should have stayed in Florida. It usually involves copious amounts of alcohol and is relatively bizarre.  This month's winner would have to be the couple that got drunk (told you so) and decided to have sex in their closet (don't ask me). Drunk Female called out her ex's name twice. Drunk Male became enraged and killed her (as any reasonable person in Florida would). The manner in which he dispatched her left pools of blood and 'stuff' all over the place. Stay. Out. Of. Florida.

This beer-soaked example of humility and grace is said not to be related to this Danish gem, who was found to have the genitals of 21 women in his freezer. For some reason, he does not reside in Florida.

• SELFIE NEWS:  Selfies killed more people this year than sharks. An embarrassed spokesman for sharks said they would try to do better next year.

Parents killed their two-year-old daughter because they thought she was possessed by demons. Kim Davis not available for comment.

• Scotland has 421 words for snow. And, according to tradition, you can't understand a single one.

Lancaster, CA has introduced iris scanners for school buses for special needs students. It's for the children.

• Donald Trump says he's the rare republican who can woo black voters. "Negroes love me. I have fried chicken and grape soda."

No greater an American legal authority than the pope has stated that government workers have the right to refuse gay marriage licenses. His Holiness also said Hillary's use of an external email server is unconstitutional and called President Obama a pussy.

• A New Hampshire man stole $1,000 of drills from Sears and left, making chicken noises. Because elephant noises are better for stealing couches.

TECH CORNER:

AVG Antivirus has announced it will begin selling users' personal data to advertisers. There is allegedly a setting in AVG that will stop some of this but I don't use it so I'm not positive. Please check it out. One alternative is Avira (also free). Please read the fine print.



ENOUGH. LET'S LISTEN:

Les Dudek doesn't get a break, although you've no doubt heard him. He helped with Boz Scaggs [Silk Degrees]. He played with Cher (pre-facelifts) and Steve Miller. He also played on the Allman Brothers' Ramblin' Man - check out the tasty guitar work and vocals. He makes the most of a trio format. That voice does not seem to belong with that man. As soon as I started listening to Les, it hit me like ton of bricks - he had a lot to do with the Allmans.

Gonna Move has a great groove and has been covered by many artists. Is that an African Blue? Beautiful plumage.

Old Judge Jones sounds like it should have proven a hit. Works for me.

Jailbamboozle is a cool title as well as a cool tune. You can hear Jeff Porcaro and David Paich (from Toto) on drums and piano. Bizarro 70's groove.

One of my favorites is Deeper Shades of Blues. After enjoying it, I realized that this song is essentially Still Got the Blues, by the late, lamented Gary Moore. No idea which came first.

GUITAR PLAYER BONUS: Here are Dickie Betts and son showing you how to play In Memory of Elizabeth Reed. Why hire a second guitarist when you can breed one? The DNA definitely delivers.

 Yes, it's a Chow in a stroller

Using the (V)agina Card

Big Pharma is working tirelessly on a female Viagra.
Before you go off wondering how far I'm going to go with this, I must assure you this is purely medical (almost).

It would seem that there's a campaign to get the FDA to approve flibanserin, a female Viagra. The campaign is comprised of women's groups and, strangely enough, the developer of flibanserin. The claim is that the FDA has a gender bias, in approving twenty six Erectile Dysfunction drugs for men and none for women.

On its surface, this looks like a legitimate claim. Spend a few more seconds with me and we'll see if we have the same opinion.

As it turns out, flibanserin has been studied and rejected twice by the FDA, due to the side-effects outweighing the benefits.

But it's gender-related, right?

This week, the FDA will consider flibanserin for the third time (due to pressure from these groups?).

Other women's groups say the above groups are making a mockery of the FDA approval process. Sounds about right to me.

Let's face it... reality would dictate that we need Big Pharma to come up with drugs that work and are marginally safe. If this were to happen, odds are the FDA would approve them (bribes and powerful friends help - think aspartame). The potential sales of this kind of pill would be in the billions of dollars. Do you think for a moment Big Pharma isn't working on it (aside from the above-mentioned political ploy)?

I'm all for a solution for women - I'd just prefer it to be a safe one.

=====================================

A woman who married her female partner last year without first divorcing her husband has pleaded guilty to bigamy and other charges in Virginia.

• bigamy: one wife too many
• monogamy: same

====================================

Speaking of cards, I need one. I need one simple card or phrase I can pull out to deflect all criticims.  Black people can use the R-card (racism), Jews have the A-card (antisemitism) and, as you see above, women have the V-card. Now that I have completely alienated the NAACP, the ADL and most (if not all) women, let's get down to business.

I don't fit into any of the accepted minority groups. In fact, as a white male, I'm considered responsible for most of the world's ills. So you see, I need my own card.  I'm thinking the L-card. Yes, left-handed rights! Lately the press is full of people bemoaning the lack of women in tech (funny, I've always worked with women), demanding and setting up programs to recruit women in tech.

This raises yet another bugaboo: equal opportunity regulations. Forgetting for a moment the libertarian belief that the government has no business messing with business, do we need these kinds of laws? My personal belief is that the most qualified candidate should get the job, period.  Let's think about this a second.... Man #1 qualifies for the local police, with a score of 92 on his entrance exam. Woman #1 is hired due to EEOC regulations, with a score of 79.  Do you want your police to have the 'correct' amount of minorities on the force or the highest-scoring test-takers? They may be at odds with each other.

From now on, whenever something doesn't go my way, I shall whip out (uh-oh) and use the L-card. Not hired? That's dexterism. Passed over for a promotion? It's obviously because they gave my less-qualified right-handed colleague the job. I demand the EEOC enact regulations requiring a certain amount of dexterously-correct hires. A quota of southpaws. A lorry of lefties. A sack of sinisters. A sizable stack of satan's spawn. Lefty Rights!

And now even more people can hate me!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A senior official in the Malaysian state of Sabah blamed naked tourists for the deadly quake of 6/5/15. Yes, Joseph Pairin Kitingan says this tragedy is connected to a group of Western tourists who recently posed nude on the peak and allegedly cursed at a local guide for trying to prevent them from stripping. Mr Pairin says the tourists made the spirits of the mountain angry.

This brings to mind the fellow who said that abortion was responsible for earthquakes in Mexico.

And now we know.

P.S. The world has yet to come up with a slur exclusively for Malaysians. I suspect they may be feeling left out.

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I just read an article stating undercover DHS testing revealed that 95% of items could be smuggled through airport security. Read that again: ninety five percent of screeners failed.

The article took a somewhat surprised tone. I just shook my head.. from the beginning I have stated that Homeland Security is Security Theater.  Security Theater is a program staged for the benefit of its viewers but without any serious thought toward its stated purpose.  Another example is the Patriot Act. The FBI and various letter agencies have admitted that the illegal interception of ALL of our data has not stopped one single case of 'terrorism' (Admitted Security Theater). Despite this, our president, McConnell and the always entertaining Feinstein are demanding the Patriot Act be reinstated. Constitutional rogues and political failures.

Do we really need the government protecting us like this? At the cost of our liberties?

The TUNE SPOT

When you're an instrumentalist and people who aren't musicians respond to your playing and songs, you're doing it correctly. Few do it more correctly than Eric Johnson.  Hailing from Austin, TX (like Stevie Ray Vaughan), Eric plays like no other and has sent many a guitar player back to his solitary room to practice and practice and practice again. He has speed, tone, and phrasing down.

Few guitarists win a Grammy award, but Eric did in 1991 for Best Rock Instrumental Performance. The song is Cliffs of Dover. I have even heard it on Rock radio stations. This is the live version, because it's faithful to the studio version and it gives you an idea of what he's like live and the things he can do. Here's Zap, from the same concert in Austin. Here's a concert in 1997, at LA's House of Blues.

Mrs. lefty and I stood almost at Eric's feat for a show in Philly. Most recently we saw him on the Experience Hendrix tour of 2014. Mrs. lefty was spellbound and loves listening to his songs. You will too (my advice is worth exactly what you're paying for it).