This Burger.... has no Burger

Your love is like  a date with the DMV

Feral hogs are the invasive menace you’ve never thought about

They run faster than you, destroy crops, steal your car, and run for local office

Today I identify as  Bill the Cat    ack. pbthllllllt.

The lefty Show Continues

I never wanted to be one of those people... so entitled... such an ass....

But it has happened, for some strange reason.

You see, I seem to feel I'm entitled to things. No, not free airplanes and jam sessions with Jimmy Page. I feel I'm entitled to have a decent day on the weekend. You know, no major trauma, some rest, and food. Today it was again brought home that I have unreasonable expectations.

I'd like to return this bacon burger.

What's wrong?

It has no bacon.

Yes, once again we stupidly left the house. It was only Wendy's, but we wanted bacon burgers. In fact, one of us got a bacon burger. But not me. Never me. I am the Black Hole of Customer Service. You might think phrases like "we don't have any fries" and "no, we're out of ketchup" are jokes. but they're real-life experiences of mine, at Wendy's. I should have known things were back to (ab)normal when the girl behind the counter had to stop our ordering process to ask a learned colleague if they had potatoes. Taking a leap of faith, I ordered a bacon burger with exactly 3 toppings, not even thinking that they could be out of (alleged) beef or bacon.

They had one of those wacky soda machines that dispense all 52 varieties of soda, but only actually contain 3 varieties, all diet. But you get a lot of exercise pushing buttons that all say "Not available" after you push them.

You know what happened to me, right? Out of 3 toppings, I got 2, and out of 1 bacon, I got none.

The doctors tell me this is entirely my fault. If I expected poor service every time, I would be overjoyed with the results. Since I have some feeling of entitlement, I am always disappointed.

So my life's philosophy has been proven correct: Expect the worst.

I don't want to say the house is a bit... disorganized and... maybe a little dusty... but if we could afford a maid, who turned out to be a real hottie, in a French maid uniform, I wouldn't bother her while she was working. Right now my fantasy is a clean house.

AND there's Wife's strict No Dating Policy.

Conversations with my Dog

Me: I noticed the other day you wouldn't go outside when I opened the door.

Her: Yes.

Me: Why was that?

Her: Because Mom does it better.

Me: Hang on... Mom lets you out better?

Her: Yes.

Me: I see. What else does she do better?

Her: Feed me, walk me, and drive me places.

Me: Yeah, but you take treats from me.

Her: I take treats from anyone.

Me: Never mind. Go upstairs - Mommy is sleeping and you don't want to miss that. She sleeps better than I do.

Creepy: last year, the place we bought the car sent me birthday wishes.

 It's always fun when news anchors spend a lot of time on an event, but have no new news, so they have to keep repeating things or just make them up. This morning it was that a juror in a case had the trial stopped because they needed a break. The host noted this and brought in an 'expert' to help digest this Breaking Event<tm>. The expert said something to the effect of 'I don't know', but said it more eloquently. I was waiting for a Color Commentator to pop in with the history of jurors requesting a time out.

Well, Julie, there have been many occasions when a single juror had to leave immediately. The most interesting, however, was in 1975 when the entire jury needed a break. This was traced to some really foul meatballs from Catering, that contained some sort of bacterium, driving every gastrointestinal system bonkers and halting the trial til the next day. The jury deliberated the rest of the day, from a bathroom down the hall. No one else was allowed in the bathroom, and a good thing that was. People couldn't stand to be outside the bathroom. At the end of the day, janitors entered the bathroom with hazmat suits and ultraviolet cleaning equipment. The ones left standing are still in therapy.

But how the hell do I know why the time out? You ask stupid questions. Fortunately you're very attractive, so you can ask me stupid questions all day. And don't forget my check for Consulting Services.

RIP Ahmad Jamal (92) - jazz pianist

The abortion pill holdup is ridiculous and completely illegal. Of course it comes from the religious right. I'm sure there are good things that come from that group, but the list is probably very small. It's a group bent on legislating its morals upon everyone.

ThermionicEmissions, as you would expect, has a solid position on this: we are pro-abortion. Not pro-choice, pro-abortion. We think they should be mandatory, especially in the 'Ruling Class.' We also believe in retroactive abortion, which can be performed up to 18 years after birth.

• My 'interesting' relationship with iDevices continues. If you remember, Werk forced another one on me. It turns out I'm not the only one who isn't fond of the things: this very morning, the dog yanked the charging wire and pulled the phone to the floor. A chip off the old blockhead, she is.

STOP THE PRESSES

Boy George & Culture Club is coming to my area!

I'd absolutely stand in line to miss this.

More ads in Windows 11 Start Menu could be last straw for some

People will take all sorts of abuse from their operating system. I wonder if anybody will leave.

ADS? I can assure you Mac and linux don't have ads. Once you install them, you own them. You don't pay to rent them and are not subject to lack of privacy. Your personal information is not stolen or sold. You are not a product. Your desktop features don't change with each release, or at least you can put them back. Linux is open source and free, as are all but the commercial programs. You can even run Windows under Mac and linux (Vmware or Virtualbox under linux). Neither OS requires command line input, unless you want to use it. Both have Windows-equivalent programs. Browsers are the same. A file menu is a file menu, in any OS. You can even make your desktop look exactly like Windows, if that's what you want.

I was sick of Windows 20 years ago. Perhaps it's time for wholesale change.

Moderna CEO brazenly defends 400% COVID shot price hike, downplays NIH’s role

WHO paid for this initially? Yes, your tax dollars, taken from you under threat of men with guns, property seizure, and jail time. Big Pharma wins Absolute Greed Award!

People literally die trying to get to this country. It stands as a beacon of the free world. They come here for the American Dream: to work for Big Pharma.