The Toe Fungus Chronicles

Your love is like  naked yogurt

Australia: Woman survives on wine during five days stranded in Australian bush

Woman says, "I just did what I would do if I were home."

Today I identify as  a fly on the wall  (who got swatted)

Met Police shoot dead two dogs and Taser man in Poplar (England)

Maybe they're right: guns are dangerous and should not be given to the mentally ill.

Pet owners, beware: the stormtroopers are coming, and there's an automatic presumption of guilt. Like American SWAT teams, they'll shoot your dog. As an added bonus, you'll be punished for not obeying or showing your papers. Fortunately, tasers only kill a small portion of people shot by them.

Three stabbings in a week leave Californian city on edge

WE DEMAND KNIFE CONTROL

Told you so. It's not the weapon - it's the person holding it. Take away guns, they'll use knives. Take away knives, it will be chains and rocks. Then sticks. And spit.

UCBerkeley hopes UCDavis is also keeping Jews and Zionists off their campus.

UCDavis is worried. I am worried too; there's a pizza place in Davis called Woodstock's Pizza. I was worried about how I could get them to open up near me. Woodstock's East.

Feds rethink warrantless search stats and – oh look, a huge drop in numbers

We would never violate your privacy. Unless we had access to your information.

American Software Developers for Diversity are "Really Pissed" at virus makers and insist there be diversity among ranks. They demand to see and verify all employee lists of virus organizations, to ensure diversity. They further demand each organization, even the state-sponsored ones, have a Chief Diversity Officer. The Developers insist that the information provided will not be given to any authorities: they just need to be positive that all organizations across the globe are sufficiently diverse.

World Password Day came and went.

Nobody noticed or cared. Their password is still 'password' and is written on a sticky, under their keyboard.

 The US Postal Service (USIP, US Incompetence Patrol) is being asked to delay a pay cut for rural carriers. Yes, the gang that couldn't shoot straight, even with their electric vehicle program, weird or non-existent delivery, and constant rise in postage prices, wants to cut salaries in the boonies. Another great business and public relations decision. Privatize.

Notes to self:

1. just because your calls and texts don't get received, don't go to the website - it will be of no help whatsoever. It won't even let you into your own account.
2. you probably shouldn't spew that much coffee onto your pants, shirt, phone, and laptop

1. (again) Just because you got it straightened out doesn't mean they bothered to turn on your service. 3 hours and another phone call later, all was well. The rep said to remember to smile. Who the hell does she think she is?

Flying AIDS (still) news

The U.S. COVID-19 public health emergency is ending. What does that mean?

It means they'll have to invent something else to keep sheep people in line and in their homes and paying twice as much for food.

Disease detectives gathered at CDC event—a COVID outbreak erupted

Walensky to step down as head of CDC

  

"I had to get out of this self-made shitshow while I could still get a high paying job in the private sector"

WHO ends COVID emergency but warns threat is not over

You still believe in our pope-like infallibility, right?

 And the big shocker:

Moderna rakes in surprise profits ahead of 400% vaccine price hike

Coronation concert: William says he is 'so proud' of his father King Charles

When asked about Prince Harry, King Jug-Ears asked who that was... "Oh yeah, the black lady's husband. Haven't seen him in years."

Hoping for a saner answer, Camilla was asked. "Don't fask with me - I'm the Queen, bitches! HAHAHAHA."

(ex)Prince Harry was there too. He watched the coronation from a few streets away, underneath some benches, in a sewer. The Black Lady was denied entry into London and was put on the next plane back to the US.   (orders from the top)

Possible Best Headline of the Year

A Hilton hotel guest says he woke up to the night manager sucking his toes, man charged

The night  manager said it was all a misunderstanding: he entered the room because he smelled smoke. Presumably he put out the fire by sucking the guest's toes.

Apparently the only smoke was in his pants. But seriously, the guy should be jailed just for being so stupid. You're the night manager at a major hotel chain. You think it will be ok to enter a locked guest room, then suck his toes. In what universe will this go unnoticed? Did he think it was a convention of foot fetishists? Did the man express a love for having his toes sucked when he checked in? Did the guest call down to the office and say he'd leave the door open and pretend to be asleep? 

P.S. Does this make the manager gay? I'm not up on my Foot Stuff.

Rabid Religionoids on the Rise 

Anti-Porn Lobbyists Pressure Reddit to Shut Down Its NSFW Communities

These clowns go all the way back to Morality in Media. I don't see it happening.

Accessing Porn In Utah Is Now a Complicated Process That Requires a Picture of Your Face

Porn VPN searches soar in Utah amid age verification bill

Pornhub Blocks All of Utah From Its Site

Pornhub pulls out of Utah

per Pornhub, their largest state consumer is Utah. 

Not anymore.