There Are Many People in the World. You Are Definitely One.

I'm a sucker for those airport security shows, where they track people coming in, looking for illegal this or that. They also check that people coming in have the proper visa. One guy, who was a little boisterous, claimed he was coming to visit, but the staff wanted to investigate further. Because the guy was waving at the cameras and joking with the staff, they called in a doctor to advise if the guy was sane. He passed his test.

What really bothers me is that they thought the guy was mentally questionable for acting like me. There is abundant evidence backing up my voluntary agoraphobia.

• September is National Preparedness Month. So don't do anything rash.

Today is Importance of Punctuation Day (I made that up). When sending email and typing, it is important to use proper punctuation. "Whoopi Goldberg & Jewel's Holiday Tour" was the email subject. Is this two separate shows or one? Depending on the answer, things could go from bad to worse.

• Perhaps there is hope after all... according to a poll, 44% of Americans 18-27 have deleted the Faceyspaces app this year.
• If you must use Faceyspaces, do it from a browser. The phone app has access to all your data, location, and sexual preference.

It's a bad day to be Trend Micro (or a user of their products)... their Mac OS X apps were removed from the Apple store after they were discovered sending out private information.  If I owned a Trend product on any platform, I'd get rid of it immediately and demand a refund.

• And while we're talking about Macs, the number one paid utility in the Mac App Store steals browser history and sends it to a Chinese server. The server is currently offline, but that means little. People who use apps shouldn't be expected to perform packet captures to determine if the app is safe.

Ever use Skype? They inject white noise, on purpose, into both sides of each call, so callers know they're still connected.  Skype's owner, Microsoft, injects backdoors in Windows, to let people know they're still using Windows, and remind them that backups can be retrieved from the NSA.

• The current spam bomb utilizes "Unsubscribe" as a subject and concept. Your mailbox and spam folder will be full of this nonsense. Delete every message and don't reply. If you are unsure, follow my mantra: Just Say No. You can also hover over the underlined link, where you'll notice the address is different than claimed. Also, the FROM name and possibly SUBJECT will be missing information or incorrect.
• A small piece of information FYI: if you don't use HTML email, the entire message will be in text, and the fake address link will be right there in front of you. You can try checking the source, from a menu, or switching to plain text. Thunderbird has a plugin that will let you switch reading modes. Most have the option in one of the menus.

As usual, I'm minding my own business at work, when I get a request for a short job at another location. I enjoy going to other locations about as much as I enjoy stitching up large gashes in my own skin, but it is technically my job. And when I say technically, I mean a trained goldfish can complete the job from inside its watery abode. Why, you ask, does a company deploy an expensive asset for a job that anybody in the facility can perform? They have whole teams that do nothing but work on this equipment.

Ahhhh... now I get it. It's only been a few years and I catch on very slowly.

The part to install had arrived the day before, addressed to Stanley. Stanley's away, due to Mrs. Stanley, which we won't discuss, except to say it had nothing to do with the hand mixer or the zebra. The main office spent hours trying to locate the part. Why? Because it was addressed to Stanley and not anyone who could do anything about it. After several hours of contacting Spock and the Away Team, they had finally secured the part. So they emailed the teams that do this work. I discovered there's a subtle art of job-shifting... they did not respond to the emails. Since they did not respond, it became my job. When I see these people, they tell me it's stupid for me to come all this way and why not let them do it. Very clever, but I'm onto your game! 

They sent me explicit step-by-step directions on how to replace the broken part. It was about 25 pages long. Nothing I haven't done before, just not on this model. After skimming the 25 pages, I translated them from "The lawyers said to word it this way" to "pull the bad part out and plug the good one in". No problem - this I can handle.  

Oops... did I mention my key card?

I got it a few months back and it wouldn't open anything. I let the nice people in the Key Department know and they said they'd get their Best People on it. So naturally it continued to not work. Yes, it's funny in a stereotypical way, but it's somewhat less funny when you have to stand near a door and wait for someone with a working key card to come by. Ironically, the trip to the Key Department was delayed as I waited five minutes for somebody with a functioning key card to come by. The gentleman I talked to is the same gentleman who was going to 'get right on it' and absolutely did not 'get right on it.' He sent an email and told me it would take a while. Dear Sir... I am here for an important job. If I can't get to my own department, your network may fail. Fortunately I knew where his request was sent, so off I went, only stalled by trying to get through two doors my key card wouldn't open. The Main Key Card Guy took one look and said it was deactivated. Well, as far as I know, I'm not deactivated. Still getting paychecks. Hmmmm... he clicks one box and everything works. See how hard that was?

Speaking of working, I hunted down the errant piece of equipment and took the bad part out, plugging the good part in. It fit perfectly, except the front plate, which wasn't even in the ballpark. I took a picture and sent it to the people who operate the equipment, who where thrilled at my ingenuity, and told me this was in no way the right part. I'll say it wasn't the right part: the damn manual had a picture of the box that was wrong. They thanked me profusely and said they'd ship out the correct part for the next day.

Halleleujah! I could ride out to the remote office again to install a Goldfish Part. I cannot describe the thrill that went through my body.

We got a tracking number and everything!

First thing in the morning they're emailing me that the part's in and how quickly can I install it. Oops again - the part is in my state, but not at the facility. Gee, let's say we wait before I make the drive, ok? Within two minutes I got an email from UPS, saying expected delivery date was tomorrow. How is it the people who shipped the part don't know how they shipped the part? Oh yeah, they need it to be working for a Serious Meeting in the afternoon. I pointed the delivery day out and all of their incessant email chatter stopped. Hey, I like this. I get some of my best work done at my own desk.

The return authorization person specified the wrong carrier and complained when our zip code had more than five digits. What country are we in again?

If this were any more twisted, I'd check to see if I was working for the government.

Internet of Dings

In an extremely rare event, out government seems to have gotten something right. I know, I know, we're all a little dazed. The Senate Cybersecurity Caucus has introduced a bill that would provide patchable products from vendors selling Internet of Things products to the government. In essence the products must be patchable and updateable or replaceable. This is very important with Internet of Things devices.

Now, if they can only do something about their employees... quite a number of breaches are caused by people inside, clicking on stuff they shouldn't.  When in doubt, don't. It will not hurt to ask someone. Your IT department will thank you for asking.

• I gotcher chip card right here: So these new chip cards that are going to secure our purchases, that have already been hacked, have developed a new wrinkle: vendors who won't accept them. In an absolutely unscientific sampling, a significant number of vendors just plain won't accept them and have no plans to. The chip cards were required to be accepted under law, or a penalty would be assessed. The vendors, balking at the price and extra time it takes consumers to use them, have refused. Instead, they will take the penalty. The first one we discovered was Rite Aid. Can you imagine if you decided not to comply with a law? The Mounties would be at your door so fast it would make dragsters look slow by comparison.

The Amazon Echo has been found to have a number of flaws that would allow a hacker to gain root access. The devices (2015 and 2016 models ending in '01') will allow someone to do whatever they want to the device, without a trace. The flaws were fixed in the 2017 models (ending in '02'). The only solace owners have is that the hacker must have physical access to perform the hack (he must be in your house, at the box). Amazon has no plans to exchange the devices. Don't put this stuff in your house.

• RIP Jim Marrs. Jim defined tenacious journalism. He found a topic and dug, then printed the facts.  He taught a college course on the JFK assassination. His books were on JFK, Remote Viewing, secret societies, and 9-11. The Oliver Stone JFK movie was based upon Jim's work. I highly urge you to pick up some of his books. 

If there is so much as a one millimeter gap between food and me, that's where it's going to fall. It's lefty physics. Don't forget to feed your shirt.

• Marshall moves when required. He watched me walk into the kitchen, keeping a loose eye on the proceedings. I took the bag of turkey lunchmeat, shook it within his field of vision, and he came running. There is a company that makes Pill Treats for dogs. They're little squishy treats with a hole in them for medicine, if your dog won't take meds any other way. This is American Genius at work. Unfortunately we're dealing with Dog Genius: he enjoyed this twice, then stopped entirely. We now hide the meds in the treat, then wrap it in turkey. He likes that. For how long is anybody's guess.

I have discovered the best way to rip a paper towel off the roll, while simultaneously shredding it.. pull it at the perforation.

• My Dementia Page has been updated (you see the button up top). In a move that no one could see coming, defying all logic, the facility is discharging the patient because she's too functional. Incredulously pissed does not even begin to describe how I feel.

Much to my dismay there is an Emoji Movie. The nephews went to see it the other day. Asked to rate the movie with emojis, the little one didn't miss a beat and said, "Poop." Runs in the family.

Told You So

It almost hurts to say this (no it doesn't) but I told you so.

Are all telephone calls recorded and accessible to government?

Of course they are.

I've been saying this for a long time.
But never mind old leftystrat - he's a crazy conspiracy nut.  He sees the NSA in every cloud outside (not to mention every cloud on the internet).

Now that it's out in the open, all that's left to discover are the trivialities, like whether it's the NSA or other similar letter-agency.  We knew about Echelon years ago.

Why do you think they're building huge new datacenters?  Because they like to sign contracts?
What else might they be up to?

Now that this information is leaking big time, what do you plan to do about it?


I'd rather be a crazy conspiracy theorist, actually.  This is one time I don't want to be right.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald

F- Murray Abraham too.


Cemetery Worker Stole Guitar From Army Vet’s Casket

Don't f-k with a man's Telecaster, especially if he's dead.

Where the hell is Sly Stone?


Doritos to be Sprinkled Over Creator's Grave

Creation saw him to 97.

Nancy Grace suffers wardrobe malfunction on 'DANCING'...

No one cares.

University of Texas frat allegedly recruited with live sex shows...

Where the hell were these people after I graduated high school?


Protester calls Obama 'Anti-Christ'...

Unfortunately they removed the wrong guy from the auditorium...

Mob attacks man in his own home...

You're white, therefore you're wrong.  No matter what you say or do.

When good dogs go bad.

Actually, when I'm president, dressing up your dog will be grounds for death.


Americans Express Historic Negativity Toward U.S. Government

How they tore themselves away from Dancing with the Stars is a mystery...


The 2011 Ig Nobel prize for Peace goes to Arturas Zuokas for discovering that the problem of illegally parked luxury cars can be solved by running them over with an armored tank.  Check out the rest of the awards.


We won't mention that this has been my idea for years.


DATING ADVICE:


If you're looking to date the newly free Amanda Knox, hit it and split.  Otherwise there could be `complications'.