Iran, Iraq, Whatever

It took a while for me to get the warmongers straight.... Iraq, Iran... we reverse them every few years, so they're difficult to remember.

Around 7pm Eastern, yesterday, Iran bombed a military base in Iraq, where Americans are stationed.

The news was all over it, as they should be.
Unlike normal, they were pretty factual, without too much bias.
There was no information on casualties, some with no mention at all - just that there was a bombing. That smells of something.

At some point later, Iran announced they had their revenge and that was the end of their bombing. Also, death to America and death to Israel.  Unless I am mistaken, Israel wasn't involved.

Coincidentally, there were several earthquakes, and a Ukranian Boeing 737 crashed, killing all 176 aboard.

I smell a mouse barking at a dog.
Iran pre-warned Iraq, as well as a neutral country (Finland?), which could warn America. American knew earlier, via satellite and plane surveillance.

Not much news about the crashed plane, other than Iran refusing to send the black box to Boeing or work with them onsite. It will be interesting to watch this progress. They need to procure the passenger list to see if there were any interesting targets. I hope the grieving families get some peace. Looking at the debris could give some info: I know this from watching 12 seasons of Aircraft Crash Investigation.

Completely missing from the news and commentary is the fact that Iran bombed Iraq. I believe this is an act of war. Iraq's statement is pending.

Naturally the Congressional reaction went straight along party lines. Republicans cheered, Democrats jeered. The biggest group of ass clowns on the planet and 'we' voted them in. Pelosi blamed everything on Trump, saying we're instigating.

My initial reaction was "Warmongers. This was pre-planned. We were looking for a reason to flatten them."  In reality, it's a PR show for Iran to save face.


Iran's chief black-hat white-beard said America has no place in the region and that Israel is next, if there is any further action. He's right that America shouldn't be there. Every time something happens, they threaten Israel. From the military aid we give Israel in hardware, one can say this would not be a smart idea.

Joe Biden went off on the administration, which was a strange irony, as he was VP when Obama bombed the area.

Trump's speech seemed quite professional and measured, which was a tiny bit surprising. My only disappointment was the unbelievable trillions spent on upgrading our war machine. To his credit, we're not rendering Iran a sheet of glass. Now his opposition will need to find a way to spin this against him.

(British) Sky News was almost complimentary.

-------------------------------

As a libertarian, I believe we have no business there, or anywhere else. That area has been at war long before America was a country; we add nothing. Our policy of non-aggression speaks for itself.  Our presence there only aggravates things.

Now imagine the trillions being seriously whittled down for only a strong defense - not offense. No transport costs, huge military contracts, and lives lost for no good reason. Our troops are brave, but misled into believing they're fighting for our freedoms, when they're fighting for oil, drugs, and the Military Industrial Complex.

Peace.

I'm Gagging I'm Gagging I'm Gagging for You

Let's start with Internet of Things right out of the gate!
A guy buys a remote control garage opener. Unfortunately he has a brain aneurysm and gets an IoT garage opener. He isn't satisfied with it and gives it a bad review on the net. The head of the opener company bricks his account, so now the garage door does not open.

PRO TIP: avoid IoT toilets.

• Our good friends at Microsoft have finally released what information Windows 10 collects from you and will allow more specific choices. Not mentioned are the back doors and NSA access.

A Kanye West album has gone platinum.

Why?

• Some enterprising soul has put up a GoFundMe page to help purchase a $15,000 engagement ring for his girlfriend. I suppose I need to recategorize my charitable giving from cancer patients to this poor soul, who can't afford a house-size rock.

Here's an informed view on ISP data privacy from the head of the FCC. Notable is that the Mainstream Media Washington Post did not use this as an excuse to skewer Trump.

• I made it just a few items before returning to the Internet of Things, plus this is a whopper!  The particular device in question is the Siime Eye Sex Toy. For the sake of science, it's a vibrator with a camera, so you can share whatever you like with whomever you like (tactful, no?). You transmit the video over wifi, of course. Here's where the fun starts: if someone happens to be near your home, they can intercept the wifi signal. The credentials are hard-coded (admin, password=blank); this is horrible.  Hijacked feeds are already showing up online (no, I don't have the urls). Once someone hacks in, they have full access and the ability to own the device. The organization that did the penetration testing reached out to the manufacturer three times, starting in December 2016, with no response. Buy one and share your parts with the whole world!

Break out the party hats and squeaky devices - we bombed Syria!  It's been so sad lately for arms manufacturers and now it's Christmastime! We wouldn't want Grumman to go away hungry, would we? Fire up the bombs, ship the bombers, open up the long-range video so everyone can watch the 'targeted' bombs drop - Let's Roll! 

The president who campaigned on America First has bombed another country, in the fine tradition of other recent presidents.  President Trump, we're very disappointed in you, after we specifically stated we didn't vote for you but we were going to wait and see, giving you a chance to walk the walk. Instead you used National Security to bomb a country that allegedly poison gassed its own citizens. Aren't there other countries, perhaps closer and more affected, who could lead this nightmare? Exactly what part of our national security does Syria affect?

• Now that we've gotten the IoT sex toy dealt with, some person is locating insecure IoT devices from the internet and disabling them. The problem here, if there is one, is do we qualify this person as a vigilante, do-gooder, terrorist, or used car salesman? This software is called BrickerBot, because it bricks the device (renders is as functional as a brick). As amusing and ironic as this is, it's not really going to be helpful: while your device will no longer spy on you, it also won't work.

They say everything's bigger in Texas, including the hacks. Someone got access to the emergency alarm sirens in Dallas. Do you have any idea what 156 emergency alarms sound like for 90 minutes? Apparently Dallas does. 

This is just emergency sirens. Let me throw a few words at you and you can think on them: electrical grid, train signals/controls, utility plants...

• PANIC: by the time you read this, extended support for Windows Vista will have ended.

The United Airlines Public Relations Machine is in high gear. Again.

They overbooked a flight. This is legal and industry practice (our first question). They needed volunteers to give up their seats before the plane could take off. Oops, no volunteer. Oops, someone got volunteered. Apparently he didn't want to go, resulting in Security dragging him off the plane, with a nice bruise from his head hitting the arm rest. The man was identified as a doctor, headed home to work. As one would expect, many videos were taken by passengers. "United apologizes for overbooking."

• Marshall's progress: today we took him for surgery. The price was outrageous and they wanted it up front or there would be no surgery. The pet credit cards were virtually worthless. At least we'll eat until I get paid again and at least Marshall will be ok. That's an order.
• The financial considerations were conducted right out in the open.
• This is for one ear. A second surgery may be required.
• Two previous ultrasounds were unviewable by the surgeon, requiring a third.
• The #*@&ing original vet cost us an unbelievable amount and prolonged this issue. The second vet, same practice, sent us directly for surgery. We were played because we're not veterinarians. A few pounds of flesh are in order.
• Marshall will need to stay overnight, due to the seriousness of the surgery. Poor guy.
• Please think good thoughts for him.

John McCain: This Means WAR!

Yesterday I heard an interview with John McCain. I didn't get to transcribe it fully but here's the gist from memory:

Welcome to Beat the Press. Today's guest is Senator John McCain (R-Lockheed).

Good morning, Senator.

WHERE?

Here, Senator.

Oh.

Senator, we're discussing the recent bombing of a hospital in Afghanistan.

Yes, it's a crying shame (that we didn't get more of the commie bastards).

But Senator, the hospital was full of sick people.

Taleban. TALEBAN.  Kill. KILL!

Doctors Without Borders says there was no Taleban in the hospital.

Doctors Without Borders is a terrorist organization, bent on getting in the way of exporting democracy.

Were there any Taleban in the hospital?

No, but they were certainly in the area.  Somewhere.

But not in the hospital?

No. But those Doctors were, so we stepped up and dropped a few. Dropped. DROPPED. KILL. BOMB! EVISCERATE!!!!!

Senator, there has been some criticism over using the B-34 Flying Uncontrolled Country Killer (FUCK). This plane features enough tactical killing power to take out small regions of the planet. Do you believe this was the correct way to take out a small hospital?

Bob...

My name is Ted, Senator.

Bob... I believe the right tool is the one that gets the job done. We flew in and took out the target. If we could have used more bombers, we could have taken out the hospital and the rest of the country where the Taleban must be hiding. But we are using more surgical strikes lately, so as not to interrupt the cocaine trade. President Kennedy pissed the CIA off once and look what happened to him. And Bob, I'm no John F. Kennedy.

But there were innocent sick people in the hospital.

Bob, have I said ISIS yet? Because ISIS. New munitions needed. More contracts. Boeing, Lockheed, Halliburton.. MORE CONTRACTS!!!  CIA Secret Missions!!!! Think of the economy, BOB!!!

Ted.

Casualties of war, Bob. Collateral damage. We are very sad at the loss of life but it's the black guy's fault. If he didn't start that drawdown, we could have continued our mission indefinitely. More troops. We will complete our mission, even if it takes longer than Vietnam.  ISIS, Bob.

What is our mission in Afghanistan?

We are working towards ramping up our casualties... errr.... troops... because of a very large contract with a huge, influential defense contractor.  We just gave them hundreds of billions for new explosive killing vehicles (EKVs). It would be a horrible waste of taxpayer money not to use them. Killing vehicles... killing... KILLING.. BOMBING... WIDESPREAD DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!!!!  baaaaaa........ [falls off chair, foaming at the mouth]


Beat the Press would like to thank the (very) late senator John McCain.

Dyslexic Typing

News from Home:

Dear Mom,
Things are fairly normal here... as normal as one could expect. Today I came home to a dog with four wet paws. I asked the wife if there was any halfway decent reason that the dog had four wet paws. She didn't know, but she found out fairly quickly: he had taken apart a trash bag. In a possible attempt to cover up the mess, he spilled a container of bleach all over the floor. I'm just waiting for him to have four blond paws.

Not to be left out, the cat walked up to the table and started munching on a piece of buttered bread. I could see this from the dog but the cat??? The vet was right - he's a big dog in a cat suit.

I have to run now: the roast is ready and I want to get it out of the oven before the dog does.

Love,
lefty

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I have mentioned that Philly radio it the absolute worst in the nation. Poor countries with no radio at all have turned down the opportunity to listen to it. One has the choice between GONZO ZOO RADIO [canned applause], classic rock that plays the same two songs by the same six artists and NPR.  I switch stations a lot. The other morning it was NPR, as GONZO ZOO RADIO [canned applause] was running a marathon discussion of colored dresses. I have to admit that public radio turns me on to some interesting facts... facts that I am unlikely to come up with anywhere else.  This morning I learned of Afghanistan's absolute fanaticism for cricket. Who would have known?

Apparently the denizens of Afghanistan rush to bars and restaurants with televisions so they can catch up on the latest match.  As you can tell, I know as much about cricket as ballet, probably less.  I can identify ballet. Not so much cricket.  Actually I'm fibbing... everything I know about England comes from Monty Python. I remember a sketch with a bunch of guys dressed in white, throwing what looked like a billiard ball really hard at some tall wooden dowels. One was licking his lips suggestively, in slow motion.  There - my entire knowledge of cricket.

Think of the possibilities: game postponements because they have to clear the field of opium poppies. Game postponements because they have to clear the field of body parts. More game postponements because they have to rebuild the field after the latest round of freedom exportation via drones. The players must have nerves of steel because the cars in the parking lot keep exploding. And you never know which of the little Taleban/ISIS/ISIL/CIA children in the stands is a suicide bomber.  They start all cuddly but the end isn't pretty. Basically they have to have a squad dedicated entirely to rebuilding the field (wait - I remember - it's called a PITCH!) between bombings. It's odd but thus far, no one has thought of moving the action and excitement indoors (on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY!).  I hear Halliburton is going to get the no-bid contract to build the bomb-proof indoor stadium, at the bargain price of four hundred million dollars. Don't tell anyone you heard it here.

Meanwhile, excited to prove to the world how modern they are, the Afghanis have put together a women's cricket league.  Unfortuntately, through no fault of their own, the league has stopped playing for a few seasons, until they can get a few small issues under control. Between the bloody noses because the women can't see the balls, the hand-chopping-off for touching balls and the odd beheading, the games tend to run short (and bloody). Then there's the unfortunate bit about beheading the audience because women aren't allowed to watch sports.


You know, all this talk about blowing stuff up reminds me of something I might have heard on NPR: Congress has just passed a bill encouraging themselves to dress as suicide bombers for Halloween. This is the kind of legislation we can all get behind. Far behind.


Things are about to get (more) interesting at airports. As if rectal probes of eighty-year-old wheelchair-bound ladies weren't enough, there are now bomb-sniffing elephants. I suppose the TSA likes them because they work for peanuts (ouch) and are significantly more accurate than the minimum wage previous bag checkers normally hired by the agency. Frequent cries of "Get your trunk out of my trunk" ensue. I kid, though... the TSA isn't using them - the army is. If this ever goes wrong, the cleanup will be immense. Do you suppose they will get vests?


Lastly, scientific proof behind people driving expensive cars being asshats.