Thursday, September 29, 2011

Android Browser Opinions

I installed Firefox on my Samsung tablet today.  I was surprised to see that it was version seven, as my desktop (linux) browsers all got upgraded to seven today.  Strangely enough, all the mobile extensions I wanted were not available with seven, with the exception of AdBlock.

AdBlock is one of my favorite and most important add-ins.  NoScript and cookie blockers run a close second.  Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be anything happening for Firefox mobile in cookie blocking.

Firefox on Android has always been a mixed blessing for me.   Firefox is my favorite browser by far, but it has been an unmitigated disaster on Android.  It's my favorite due to plug-ins, which really should be standard on all browsers by now.  But Firefox's performance on Android has been sub-par, to be more polite than I have ever been on this blog.  Even on my HTC Sensation it's slow.  It's also a resource hog.

Seven does seem a bit faster and more polished than the previous version, though, so I added some extensions and did a small amount of browsing.  One of the options is to reformat text when resizing, which I checked.  As usual, there were a few options that should never be checked by default, like remember passwords.  There is an option to delete all info on close, which should also be standard in all browsers.

The site I loaded was (surprise!) ThermionicEmissions.  Yes, you're reading it now.  Even sight-impaired people can tell that this blog is mainly text.  We are generally unencumbered by pictures, blinky lights, javascript, or sliding menus.  Firefox's performance was so-so but not tedious.  It resized a bit slowly, though.  All in all, it was acceptable.

Just for fun I popped up Opera.  ThermionicEmissions loaded so quickly it made my head spin.  While I did not time loading, it was appreciably faster than Firefox.  The site was never loaded before in either browser, so there was no danger of it being cached.

I tend to use Opera as my default Android browser and it appears that it will stay so.  I'm not crazy about the built-in browser because it feels very limited.  On my first Droid, I tried a number of other browsers, like Dolphin, but I found Opera to be the fastest.  Dolphin has all sorts of gee-whiz features but they're not so gee-whiz for me if I don't use them.

Speed is very important to me with Android, moreso after I switched from Verizon to TMobile.  If I have to wait significantly longer for pages to load, a browser is of very limited use.  I'll keep Firefox around just in case.


Now here's the disclaimer:  this is how it worked for me.  I'm what you'd call No Fun, in that I disable javascript, Flash, and cookies for safety, privacy, and speed.  Do your own testing the way that you use your browsers.  This is just a starting point.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Justin Currie - the Imaginary Interview

I'm just a (semi)regular putz; a common blogger and guitar player with his own small spot carved out on the internet.  The likelihood that I'm going to meet my idols and inspirations is not tremendously high.  With that in mind, I'll just carry on this interview with Justin Currie as if I were actually interviewing him. 

Warning in advance: I cannot be responsible for the quality (or presence) of the answers.  I can barely be responsible for the quality of the questions.

You might remember Justin Currie as the singer/songwriter/bassist/guitarist of Del Amitri, a rag-tag, ever-changing group of Scots who managed to chart quite a bit.  Justin is out on his own, with a pair of solo records under his belt.

==========

I came to the Del/Justin party quite late.  I vaguely remember a few of their tunes having strange instrumentation (for me) and wanted to check into things a bit further.   The following interview took place at several keyboards when I had time and space to flex my musical curiosity.



Congrats - you've written one of my favorite songs: Sleep Instead of Teardrops.  That tune hit me like a pair of falling anvils.  It's not often that I seriously listen to words (I'm a guitar player) but this one had me very curious: what the hell happened to you to spawn this song?  It's so intense that I figure it was about an event, rather than summoned from your imagination.




I don't know if it's you or your producer but I notice someone is absolutely nuts about compression on acoustic guitars (to the point of Serious Squashage<tm>).  While compression always has its place, why is the attack of the guitars beaten into submission?


Where did the omnipresent accordion come from?  Is it the same place as the mandolin?




I read that the Dels had something of a Living Rooms of the Fans tour on their way up.  How have things changed now that you're singular?




You mentioned that when you hit big, you went through an expensive guitars phase.  Tell me about what you bought - don't keep us in suspense...


You seem to like smaller-bodied acoustics live.  Tell me about them.




Why do you sometimes insert pauses in your singing?  Is this a signature thing?




What are your favorite and not-so-favorite things about writing, recording and touring?  Do you prefer performing live in a band or solo?




Who do you listen to?




Name your top guitarists.




What famous women have you boinked?




What influence, if any, have Peter Cook or the Pythons had on you?




What is the weirdest thing that happened to you on tour?  The funniest?




What's next? (and please tell me it doesn't involve Lady Gaga)


==========

Thanks to Justin for this imaginary interview and for sharing a bit of himself with some fans. 

Perhaps if I try really hard, I can get an interview with Jimi Hendrix.  This is a difficult feat, even for an imaginary interview.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Why We Dumped Fox News (and... )

Whoever described television as a vast wasteland seriously understated the issue.

We're a broadcast tv family, first because we couldn't afford the rapidly rising costs associated with premium television; second because there wasn't much more happening there than broadcast tv.

After a year or two without cable/dish, we have come to a number of sad conclusions. 

  1. There is little to nothing of value on broadcast tv
  2. Broadcast networks don't care and run infomercials to prove it
  3. Public tv is the only ray of hope left
  4. If you want to watch anything other than reality shows, you're screwed
  5. You will not escape with anything approaching information from the news
  6. There is not one original idea in television
I was all set to be happy, not paying for dish programming.  What I discovered is that the quality of broadcast programming is horrendous, almost as if the networks are just biding their time until everyone just gives up on watching it.

In addition, the switch to digital was way overhyped and not in our best interest.  What else could we expect from the FCC and our friends in D.C.?  The signal strength is dismal, it requires additional equipment to function, and the weather has a negative effect on the picture.  There is no fuzziness - it simply stops working.

THIS IS NEWS?


We always hear about liberal (or conservative) bias in news.  Fox News is known for its conservative bias.  In spite of this, we became a Fox family, largely as my wife tends to watch it a lot (note: we're libertarians and there is simply no news available with a libertarian bias).  Since it's local news, they tend to add in all sorts of local angles, spending way too much time on Things That Are Not News.

When Americans Idle got popular, they used to feature all sorts of stories about it.  Why this qualifies as news is completely beyond me.  Since X Factor is starting up, there are all sorts of stories about it.  In fact, Fox News has become little more than a commercial for X Factor, along with other reality shows that come on after the news.  It's bad enough we're inundated with an insane amount of inane commercials for the shows; now we have to deal with them in the guise of news.

To add insult to injury, Fox News is now all about social networking.  Quite frankly, if I were interested in what's happening on Twitter or Faceyspaces, I'd look there; not my nightly news.  Of precisely what news value is Faceyspaces Friend of the day?  During the recent, ridiculously overhyped hurricane Irene, the news kept going to their `social media center' to tell us what people were saying online.  Even when there is no severe weather, the anchors seem to spend a frightening amount of time glued to their cell phones and laptops, frequently while speaking.

Whatever happened to reporting the news?

My wife finally awoke to this nonsense (or got tired of hearing me point it out) and declared we were switching news stations.  The first night, our local CBS news seemed to spend most of its on-air time on sports, plus a bit of weather.  And a lot of Dancing with the Stars.

We're not getting much world news.  We're getting nothing of value (yes, lefty, that's the idea).  There is still a news blockade on the mention of Ron Paul.  We hear nothing about the protests on Wall Street.  We do get to hear about Brad Pitt's relationship with Jen Aniston.

Bread and circuses.

Our ABC affiliate featured local stories of virtually no import.  Plus stories on reality tv.

My wife and I looked at each other in stunned silence.  The others were almost as bad as Fox News in their own ways.  Television is clearly not the place to go for anything resembling news (regardless of your preferred bias).

I know public television has some nightly news shows.  They're next on the viewing list.  After that, I'm going to continue my video news blackout and get my news from the `net, where there are infinite amounts of bias and sources to be had.  Perhaps back to shortwave a bit too.

Where do you go for a dose of something that looks like truth?

Samsung Galaxy Tablet Rooting (and Stuff)

Let's be serious - I've had the damn thing for months now.  Nothing left to do but root the device (and stuff).

Actually my decision was based upon rooting my original Droid, boredom, an app that flatly refused to uninstall, and the desire to break something beyond recognition.

I became an unwitting fan of Slacker when I discovered the Jeff Beck channel.  I became a detractor of Slacker when I noticed the application was always running for no practical reason I could divine.  No matter how many times I killed it, it came back like a good zombie (ten points for the gratuitous zombie reference).  So it had to go.

I tried uninstalling but Slacker was having none of this.   Don't ask me why but for the first time in my three year Android experience, an app claimed it was uninstalled and remained available.  I got so frustrated that I let this be the final shove toward rooting, as Android refused to let me simply delete the app from its directory.

Rooting, by the way, has come a long way from the days of my original Droid.  One was required to perform all sorts of technical and command line gymnastics to root back then.

Let me pause to say a nice word about the HTC Sensation 4G.  This little speed demon does whatever I want and quickly.  I can't come up with many reasons to root it.  I wish I could say a nice word about its provider, TMobile, but I can't think of one.  Eight years of solid service from Verizon and then my company switched to TMobile.  Arrrrrrrrrgh!

I looked around a bit for different sets of instructions on rooting and settled on this page.  There's no point in going through the minutae, as the site has step-by-step instructions.  The important prerequisites here are that the tablet is running Gingerbread and is the correct model (else you'll do Bad Things to it).  Updating from pre-Gingerbread is certainly doable but is beyond the scope of this entry.

You will need to download three files to accomplish this: Odin (sends file from pc to tablet), the correct Samsung USB drivers, and the rooting file.  Links are provided.

NOTE:  this procedure requires Windows.  While there's probably a way to do it with a real operating system (or a Mac), this was the path of least resistance for me.

You install the USB drivers, run Odin and point it to the root file, put your tablet into download mode (power and volume down buttons), then GO.  You'll know almost instantly whether it worked or not.

This method of rooting does not destroy data (but a good back up is always recommended).

NOW WHAT?


Now you can use all of the marketplace apps that require root.  Titanium backup is a long-time favorite which won't run without root (all programs I mention here are free from the market).  After you install, make sure to allow superuser permissions and tell it to remember this.

Here is where the real fun starts.  Titanium gives you an exhaustive list of everything on your tablet/phone.  It will allow you to back up each and every app and also to delete them.  Since I decided to fly blind for the most part, I made sure to back up everything I wanted to delete first.  The app will also allow you to schedule backups.  There are a few valuable features available in the paid version; you should check it out.

Because you are rooted, you have an awful lot of power.  In fact you have the power to completely mess up the device if you're not careful (so be careful, ok?).


Having said that, there are several ways to recover if you manage to brick your tablet.  Google is your friend but with the rooting comes Clockwork, which can back up and restore your device for just such emergencies (user generated or not).


Slacker uninstalled permanently, via deleting its files.  You could always browse the files but rooting allows you to modify and delete the important ones.  Try not to delete any really important ones, ok?  One of my greatest joys here, after Slacker, was deleting the social media garbage that accompanies most if not all devices.


To save you some time, here's a list of apps I deleted (remember: Tmobile provider, ymmv):


  • AllShare
  • Android Live Wallpapers
  • AngryGPS
  • ChocoEUKor
  • Pulse
  • Digital Frame
  • DRM Content
  • DRM Content Launcher
  • DRM Protected Content Storage
  • Feeds and Updates
  • Kobo
  • Live Wallpaper Picker
  • Maps
  • Mobile tracker
  • Mobile tracker settings
  • Music Visualization Wallpapers
  • News & Weather
  • Perso
  • Readers Hub
  • RoseEUKor
  • SNS 1.0  (social/Facebook)
  • SNSAccount (Facebook)
  • Social Hub
  • Talk
  • TwWallpaperChooser
  • Y! Finance Clock

Less fine print:  My idea here was to make the tablet a lean, fast machine, completely without crap I don't use.  The device will run fine without all of the above apps.  If you like blinky lights and flashy wallpapers, adjust your pruning accordingly.  While there are still a few apps I need to research, this is the great majority of them.  Again, Google is your friend (or better yet, Ixquick or Duck Duck Go, which don't track you).

If you're like me, you'll want to disable any of the tracking, GPS, or location-based features.  Yes, I know they're terribly neat and awful convenient, but they're not called tracking for fun.  And no, this won't stop a determined law-enforcement agency from warrantless spying, but it will make things that much more difficult for them.

After you're rooted you can also experiment with overclocking.  This is where you can make your device faster (or slower to save resources) with software.  I used an overclocking widget, available in the market, with my original Droid.  I installed it on the Galaxy but have to experiment a bit more with it before I can recommend it.  It had some nasty side-effects which may take it out of the running.  Research is best before overclocking anyway, so my screwups work for your benefit.  Then when you're done, you can overclock your home pc [insert evil laughter].

Go for it - you'll enjoy the power and freedom to set up your device the way you want it.  If you have any questions, ask!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Random Silliness and Note to Brad Pitt

Nicolas Cage Once Awoken By Naked Man Eating Fudgecicle

If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me....

The Tractors Are Winning:

Drunken Tractor Drive Ends With DUI: Cops

Accused drunk woman howls 'like a dog,' accosts PSL neighborhood


Enforced Politeness Department


Man returns with shotgun after TACO BELL worker forgets hot sauce...

Man smuggles knife onto plane, threatens to 'slit throat' of seatmate over arm rest...



Woman steals hearse -- with dead body in back!

I have a good idea how to fence a car, but a dead body??? 


MAN ARRESTED FOR LEWD ACTS BLAMES VIAGRA...

Does everyone else who takes Viagra expose themselves in public?


-----------
I don't normally get involved in social nonsense, be it networking or gossip, but this is a whopper that shouldn't go unnoticed.  As reported many places, Brad Pitt recently publicly described his relationship with Jennifer Aniston as painful and going through the motions.

Brad, I don't know you.  You seem like a pretty decent guy (with excellent taste in women).  But WTF is this?  What kind of decent human being says this publicly about their ex spouse?  

Be the bigger guy, even if you have to pretend.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Robert Plant and the Band of Joy - a Left-Handed Review

WTF is a left-handed review?

I dunno - I just made it up.  It means not your standard review.  Perhaps even inaccurate or just plain weird.

The venue, at least in my house, is public television (On Canvas).  Robert's venue is a war memorial in Tennessee.  He makes it plain from the top that he's really into not being a humongous rock star, repeating it in various ways, such as referencing Madison Square Garden.

If you came for Led Zeppelin, you're S.O.L. - let's get that straight immediately.  The only resemblance to Led Zeppelin would be the lead vocalist.

As for the left-handed review, there were absolutely NO lefties in the band.  Before you get too settled, the cocker spaniel review is that there were no cockers onstage at all, period.  Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's have at the rest of the real review....

This is not your father's Band of Joy.  As I understand it, only the name remains the same, as it were.  For you extremely young ones, the Band of Joy was Robert Plant's band before Led Zeppelin.  For one thing, there are about six of them.  For another, the Plant person is not the exclusive lead vocalist, even heading to the rear for the occasional harp blast.

This is a much more organic band, with a much more organic sound.  Say what you want about Plant, his efforts were always fresh.  It's very difficult to describe the band's overall sound (other than organic?).  Perhaps a touch of country, via all the old stuff Plant channeled.

The most difficult spot in the world is the one directly to the right of Mister Plant, that being the poor beknighted guitar player.  No matter what this guy does, he has to live up to an invisible, omnipresent Les Paul-slinging guitar legend.  This fellow's name is Buddy Miller and he has every reason to be proud of himself.  He did the first two tunes with a Danelectro (baritone?) guitar, tuned incredibly low.  I kept wondering when the bassist was going to clock him for taking up all of his space.

Not entirely sure what the amp setup was but the tones were dark and swampy, with plenty of tweed-y grunge.  Buddy sang a few tunes too, most ably.  There were no `standard' electrics used.  Instead there was the Dano, something that looked like a twelve string electric mandolin, and another Dano; the kind that had the amp in the case, and a Gretsch.  In case you missed him, Buddy looks like an age-progressed version of Wavy Gravy :)

The drummer did a great (organic) job with his smallish kit, which was frequently muffled.  He had all sorts of toys sitting around that made things interesting.

The bassist started with a Precision and migrated to a standup bass.

A petite female called Patty Griffin (from Texas) sang, played guitar, and did a little percussion.  The leather dress was unflattering.  The voice was flattering, in that southern way.

There was another fellow who we'll call Earl, just because I don't like the name.  Every musician who has been in a band has played with Earl.  He's the guy who got in because he talked his way in, definitely because of his talent.  Since nobody wants to hurt Earl's feelings, nobody bothers to tell him how loudly and perfectly he sucks.  So what happens is that when you play out, you instruct the sound man to put a mic up by Earl but never, EVER, turn the mic on, under any circumstances.

Now I'm in no way saying that Robert Plant's Earl is lacking in the talent department.  I could not venture an opinion, largely because I can't hear a single note the poor guy is playing.  The sound man never turned him up.  The only partial noise we get is leakage into Patty's mic.  It's a shame, too, as the guy plays mandolin, guitar, steel guitar, and something that might be called a mandola, only I've never really seen a mandola; I just know it's bigger than a mandolin.

I did not expect to hear Robert Plant and band singing Satisfied Mind, which they did admirably.   An interview segment with Plant mentioned the Zeppelin catalog, after which the band broke into Ramble On and Gallows Pole, in an interesting and fresh way.  They also broke into a rousing rockabilly rendition of Rock and Roll.  No, really.

What Do You Do After Led Zeppelin?


I have to sympathize with Mr. Plant's plight.  He spends forever as the face of arguably the greatest rock and roll band ever.  After a very long break, he does a one-off with the band and is asked to continue.  He refuses and pursues his muse (or something).  You have to give him points for following his vision.

Now let me put my Fan Hat on.

Led Zeppelin is one of the greatest rock and roll bands ever.  Plant et. al. have done some decent work in the post-Zeppelin years, but much like that little outfit from Liverpool, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

I was never fortunate enough to see the Zeppelin as a whole: I had to satisfy myself with video and Plant and Page solo tours.  The guys belong together, regardless of other projects.  They need to share themselves with the world, at least while they still have a few of their original hair colors present (sorry, Jimmy).  They all still have it in their own ways, as proved at the O2 concert.  And Jason Bonham is a chip off the old groove.  He has his father's foot.


Neal Schon: Love in the Wrong Places

I have been a Neal Schon fan for many years.  His work with Journey was always tasteful but my favorite moments were the two albums (yes, albums) he did with Jan Hammer.  There were many great musical moments happening there.  There are also some interesting solo albums, with much variety happening therein.  One can't argue with a guy who played guitar for Santana when he was nineteen.

Lately Neal's been getting lots of attention, unfortunately from the wrong arena.  Remember the White House gate-crashers?  The couple who got their fifteen minutes by getting into the White House uninvited?  These are the Salahis.

The other day Mr. Salahi called the police because his wife had gone missing for a few days.  The case was short-lived because Mrs. Salahi got in touch with him to let him know she was boinking Neal Schon and out on tour with him and Journey.  Naturally TMZ was there (TMZ - gays making fun of celebrities since 2008).

This no doubt also came as quite a shock to Ava Fabian, the ex-Playboy Playmate who Neal married two months ago in Paris.  A brief review of pictures and biographies indicates that Neal's genitals are also quite confused (perhaps shocked?).

Perhaps Journey can make things more interesting by using a different opening act:  Neal can come onstage and fight with the Salahi attention whore and his ex-playmate, soon to be ex-wife.  The crowd would go wild.  They could get TMZ to sponsor the whole affair (as it were).

Finally, this once again proves that rock stardom always trumps looks.

Monday, September 19, 2011

This Should be Hysterical

Facebook CIA Project

And it would be hysterical, if it weren't true.
Please watch and give me your thoughts.




You Call That Sh-t Music? [or I'm Turning into My Parents]

The good news is that I'm carpooling to work now.  It's uncharacteristically green of me, I know.  One does what one can (especially when it saves lots of gas).  When your Hyundai doesn't do that much better on gas than your land yacht Lincoln, you realize maybe you should have researched further.

The other good news is that I'm carpooling with a real sweetheart (who's sort of my niece-in-law, twice removed).  I'd be hard-pressed to find a single flaw with this arrangement.


And of course when I say I'd be hard-pressed to find a single flaw, there is one single flaw.  Just a tiny one that, if anyone else were typing, wouldn't amount to an anthole.  I'm speaking, of course, about the choice of radio station and (alleged) music.

This was inevitable.  She's twenty-one and I'm... not.  Let's just say I'm more than twice her age.  Her boyfriend, my nephew-in-law (twice removed), has pretty good taste in music, having gotten at least some of it from me.  He does love the guitar players, being one himself.  His dalliances into the thrashy stuff can be forgiven.  In fact, I can forgive most stuff.

Except what I have been hearing from the HOT HITS station.

To call this stuff music is a grievous error, punishable by death. Even if it's on quietly in the background, it agitates me.  We have an occasional third carpool member who's older than me by a few years.  I sometimes watch his eyeballs look at each other and spin like slot machines when the stereo is on.  He is way too polite to verbalize his feelings.  I, however,  have no such impediment.  He dares not talk too loudly because some of his music sounds like someone strangling a saxophone.

Every generation tortures the previous generation with its choice of music; it's probably written into the genetic code (somewhere past the serial killer gene).  I can't bear to think back to what I did to my parents (although I picked up Joe Cocker from my folks and traded them the Allman Brothers and Little Feat).  The intro to Hendrix must've come as a bit of a shock, though.

"Turn that down - that's not music" was a constant refrain.  And now that I have uttered those very words, I realize how horrible they sound.

Your honor, I have a few things to say in my defense:
  • When we played a song, it required a certain number of musicians to perform, not dancers.
  • We used to carry around a dumb piece of equipment called a drummer, as opposed to the dumb piece of equipment called a drum machine.  Subtle but substantive.
  • Hats - not hair extensions.
  • The only person who stood with his arms crossed, trying to look intimidating, and randomly said `HEY' was the road manager.
  • We were generically off-pitch and proud.  Autotune?
  • No headset mics, unless you want to hear me cursing at the band between songs.
  • Backup singers, not backup dancers.

I don't remember the source of this but it is said that a song is no good if it can't be reduced to a piano or acoustic guitar with voice and sound great (what, no beat box?).

Being late to the party (or chronically never arriving), I just realized this is what `the kids today' are listening to.  It's really sad that they have to refer to this as their music.  This probably explains why my nephews like to listen to a lot of the stuff I do.. they tell me there's nothing there for them in recent music.  We shall never see another Led Zeppelin.  Or Frank Zappa, for that matter.


Sadly, the phrase `lonely as a guitar player at a rap concert' comes to mind.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Guitar Videos and Cat Excrement

It's been a long weekend...  haven't been terribly motivated plus my wife and I seem to be playing ping pong with some sort of flu.  In her, it travels from her head to her chest (lucky flu).  In me, I just seem to feel off (moreso).

So it eventually became about nine o'clock Sunday night when I saw the handy link sent by a fellow guitar player.  This bunch is a surprising lot from all over the world, which meets whenever on the Yahoogroups' Stratlist - a list for guitar players of the Stratocaster variety; but moreso an excuse for six-stringers to chat, share tonal tips, and your mother jokes.

The link was for the angriest guitarist in the world.

I passed.

The next link was for the fifty heaviest songs before Black Sabbath.

I bit.

I don't spend much time on YouTube.  In fact, I only recently bothered to watch a video or two, when I was bored and wanted to play Stump YouTube.  This is a game wherein I think about really obscure guitar players I like and look them up.  I found, much to my delight and dismay, that YouTube really does have a great inventory of guitar players, famous and not.  Unfortunately it tends to take me into the depths of YouTube Oblivion<tm>, where I can dwell for hours.  I showed it to my wife, who was bored one day, and it literally sucked up most of the rest of her day.

It was a dark, but not a stormy evening.... 

It became apparent to me at nine pm that my wife wasn't going to join me for dinner.  Some would say I learn slowly.  Others would say I keep strange hours.  The rest of you who eat dinner at nine or ten would notice nothing out of the ordinary.

The cat (Satan, aka Ren) has been a bit clingy lately.   He's got this whole sibling rivalry going with the dog (Marshall, aka Muppet Paws).  If one of them gets something, the other wants it, regardless of whether he really likes it or not  If you call one, both come.  If you scratch one's ears, you had better be scratching the other's ears.  It has gotten so bad that if a mouse makes it into the house, Ren will chase it and then Marshall will all of the sudden develop a taste for rodent (simply because Ren has it).  I'm not entirely sure what a cocker spaniel can do with a mouse but fortunately the cat's much faster.

When the little monsters were younger, we noticed the house starting to smell like cat urine for the first time.  After a quick trip to the vet, Ren was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection.  The vet explained that Ren was peeing on the carpet because he associated the pain of peeing with his litterbox.  Ok, so much for Feline Logic<tm>.  While we were waiting for the antibiotics to kick in, the vet recommended her foolproof way to keep a cat from peeing on the carpet: lay down a covering of aluminum foil.  Cats hate aluminum foil and wouldn't pee there.  Remembering back twenty years of so, I was at a friend's house, who liked to show me his cat's tricks.  He'd get out a roll of aluminum foil, crinkle a piece, and the cat would literally disappear.  For a week or so.

Sounded as reasonable as anything else, so we, only having owned one cat before, laid the foil over his preferred spot by the door.  The next time we walked through the door, we spotted Ren rolling all over the foil and putting tiny claw holes through it.

Foolproof.

What does this have to do with guitar videos?  I'll tell you....

After having recovered from the Great Urinary Scare, the little bugger developed diabetes. This cost a few grand in insulin (yes, they use the same stuff) and Cat Darts (I had to take a prescription into the pharmacy for syringes).  The good news is that he actually became cured (no need for insulin) but requires special food.

Guitars??????

I'm getting there- hold your horses.

So recently the house started smelling like cat urine again.  My solutions always run along the lines of Feline Aviation.  Being of longer memory, the wife suggested UTI treatment.  As we know, it's sometimes best to let her win, so antibiotics it was.

While you're treating with antibiotics, it is recommended to put up a second litter box.  And poof, Ren started using the box immediately, which was good news.  You're supposed to move it toward the original until it gets close enough to use the original again.  The bad news was that the box was in front of the tv in the living room.  The badder news was that it's cold, so we closed the windows and there's little ventilation.

The worst news is that I'm sitting here, with my solo dinner, and the little bugger has just made use of the facilities.  Normally I wouldn't notice this, as the box is in the back room.  Because the box is in the same room with me now, dinner took on a completely new aroma.

I also got to observe the Bathroom Ritual<tm>, which is beyond fascinating in many ways.  I'm discovering that people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder have absolutely nothing on cats.  He can't simply go in the box, no sir.  It must be accompanied by so many rituals I lost count.  First there's the walking around the box.  Then there's the whole burying and obscuring thing (instinct?).  Then there's more walking around, followed by exiting the box.  After the Grand Exit, there's strange walking and extending of the paws, as if they're suddenly straight as a rod and incapable of flexing.  Finally there's shredding of newspaper, which is the bit that put me over the edge.  I can drift during all of the above phases except shredding.  It drove me NUTS

He shredded an entire Sunday paper before I exploded.  He simply looked up, as if to say `you talkin to me?' and stopped the shredding activities.  He almost looked embarrassed, if that is even possible for a cat.  It sure as hell is for a dog, especially when people dress them up.  When I become president, I will impose the death penalty on people who dress up their dogs (except for the cold).

So dinner has taken on a new and less exciting complexion, yet somehow I managed.

Between bites and after, I finally got around to viewing the 50 heaviest.... etc.  While somewhat interesting, it linked to much more amusing folly, namely the 50 Fastest Guitarists of All Time.  Now this is something all guitarists can relate to.  Guitar players tend to enjoy speed, even more than long hair, hats, equipment, and possibly women.  The only thing more important to a guitar player than speed is Guitar Faces.  Nothing is a greater sign to the universe that you're serious about your instrument than your Guitar Faces.  If you don't believe me, search YouTube for Robin Trower. 

Told you so.

I strongly suspect many singers today of being closet guitar players.  For example, Mariah Carey can and does sing a million notes a minute, oversinging just like a guitarist overplays.  I understand the classical term for this is melisma, knighting her Melisma Carey.  Best to watch her videos with the sound down.

The problem with rating guitarists for speed is that there's no scientific basis for this.  Recognizing this conundrum, Guitar World went for alphabetical order, a truly wise move.  If they had used any other criteria, the letters to the editor emails would burn up their internet connection.  Guitar players are a rather stubborn, religious lot and you don't mess with their opinions (which they take as fact).

Going through Guitar World's list from fifty to one was truly an interesting experience.  It was done via YouTube videos, with a bit of biographical information thrown in. 

My problem with this exercise is that you get some real speed demons in the list, many of whom I know by name only.  While they truly live up to their inclusion in the list, the `music' is so abhorrent that I can't sit through it long enough to enjoy their playing.  I'm speaking mostly of the thrash and death-metal genres.  I give them points for staying true to their vision but more people would appreciate their talents if they lent them to something more.. ummm... musical(?).

The list included people from before I was born to some of today's hottest shredders.  Truly worth a listen and watch.  Good luck trying to get through some of the less tonally appealing pieces.  One high point was Steve Vai's live performance with an orchestra.  And hate him though you may, I still can't play the stuff Yngwie Malmsteen plays.  And although I don't think Johnny Winter belongs on this list, you have to admire the way the quasi-blind guy gets around in 70's high heels.

And here I am, hours later, wondering what's for dessert and why the place still stinks of cat excrement.   

Perhaps I need an additional job to keep my mind occupied and out of the houseYou will notice that the dog doesn't do this stuff.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Cuckoo for Samurai Puffs?

Shirtless, Samurai Sword-Wielding Man Marching 'Like A Drum Major' On Indiana Highway...

Tells Police He's 'Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs'...

SOUTHWEST Passenger Arrested For Not Turning Off Cell Phone...

Six ways your car can spy on you.

DC bus driver throws man onto ground...
Perhaps he had his cell phone on....

SEPTA Driver Shot, Drives Bus to Hospital   
Say what you want about SEPTA (I call them the Septic System) but you have to love this lady's determination (and drive).


Woman dies after injecting hot beef fat into face...
Not exactly what I was talking about when I mentioned `hot beef injection'.....

Miss Universe Hopeful Told to Wear Panties...
I think we have a winner...

Police: Arizona church is a brothel
at least they don't molest choirboys...

Seder plate causes bomb scare...
Not that we've gone too far or anything.....

Overweight Man Sues WHITE CASTLE Over Seat Sizes...
He's suing, not because White Castle made him fat, but because White Castle violates the rights of fat people by not having larger booths.  No, really.

TSA Creator Says Dismantle, Privatize Agency...
One out of two ain't bad...

Gas Station Attendant Fends Off Robber By Hosing Him With Gasoline...
Another one for the good guys.  Match, anyone?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Jeff Beck named as Classic Rock living legend

It took a while, but the rest of the world is finally catching up to this blog.  Jeff Beck has been named a living legend by Classic Rock magazine.

The living legend said he was `very honoured' (that's `very honored' in American).

The Classic Rock Roll Of Honour will be held at London's Roundhouse on 9 November, hosted by Kiss frontman Gene Simmons.  Why Gene Simmons?  I guess they needed the levity (and a token Jew?).

The characteristically modest El Becko is also up for album of the year for Rock `N' Roll Party, his tribute to Les Paul.

Friday, September 9, 2011

9/11 - The Elephant in the Country

Obligatory Where Were You


I was working, the same place in which I still toil.  A coworker came into our office and said a plane had crashed into one of the towers.  Odd, I thought...

Shortly thereafter, the same fellow came in and said it happened again, this time to the other tower.

I wanted this to be explicable.  I wanted this to make sense.

Back at that time, online video wasn't what it is today.  I looked for some streaming network coverage.

After the towers fell, I was physically ill.  There was simply no precedent for this.

When the planes were ordered grounded, I thought to call my brother, the pilot.  I was overjoyed when he answered immediately.  He was one of the thousands of pilots on the ground with very few options for parking, but perfectly fine.

As I tried to fill up on news, a little voice kept telling me something wasn't right.  It was a tiny voice, which I mostly ignored.  Work dismissed early and I took full advantage, listening to the news on the car ride home.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

----------

  • FACT:  There were numerous reports of another plane in the air.
  • FACT: The newspapers following the Kennedy assassination had a full biography of Lee Harvey Oswald, as if it were prepared in advance.  Osama bin Laden was named the instigator of 9/11 within minutes of the buildings falling.
  • FACT:  Bush claimed Weapons of Mass Destruction, yet there were none.  When questioned, he said, "So what?"
  • FACT:  Enlistment in the armed forces went through the roof.
  • FACT:  Not one single enlistee was `fighting for our freedoms'.  This doesn't mean they weren't brave or shouldn't be honored.  It is simply disingenuous.
  • FACT:  The Pentagon is one of the most highly surveilled buildings and areas in the nation.  The FBI went around impounding all surveillance footage.  Where is it?
  • FACT:  Regardless of what you believe hit the Pentagon, the five or so frames of video released certainly don't help anyone to reach a conclusion.
  • FACT:  In spite of a national grounding, a Saudi aircraft was allowed to fly.
  • FACT:  The `dancing Israelis' with the moving company van were allowed to leave the country after it was discovered they were Mossad.
  • FACT:  A twin towers janitor heard and felt large explosions before the plane hit
  • FACT:  Larry Silverstein, owner of the towers, gave the order to `pull' Building Seven
  • FACT:  Building Seven fell just like the twin towers, yet was never hit by a plane and had no serious fires inside.
  • FACT:  The BBC reported Building Seven's collapse twenty minutes before it fell. 
  • FACT:  jet fuel does not burn at a temperature sufficient to melt or slice through steel.
  • FACT:  There was molten steel for weeks in the place where the towers used to be. 
  • FACT:  Traces of the explosive thermite were found all over the place. 
  • FACT:  Building Seven was completely ignored by the 9/11 Commission.
  • FACT:  Bush would only testify for the 9/11 Commission off-the-record.
  • FACT:  Over 1500 architects and engineers dispute the government's account of how the buildings came down.
  • FACT:  the 9/11 Commission admits they never got all the facts.
  • FACT:  Bush grew the federal government more than any of his predecessors.
  • FACT:  Obama outdid Bush in the first few months in office.
  • FACT:  Cheney was repeatedly advised on the approach of the Pentagon plane.  When the plane was fifty miles out, the lieutenant asked if the orders still stood.  Cheney barked `Of course the orders still stand, have you heard anything to the contrary!?'
  • FACT:  Before and after 9/11, Air Force response to stray planes was rapid.  Why was it nonexistent on that day? 
  • FACT:  Bush and Obama used the event to great advantage, starting numerous wars.  Congress sat mute, then did what they were told. 
  • FACT:  the Patriot Act was ready suspiciously quickly, signed immediately, and not read by many.
  • FACT:  There is a special room in AT&T's San Francisco headquarters where all of the voice and data is mirrored to the NSA.  While this is the only one we know of, rest assured all large carriers have these rooms.
  • FACT:  The government has used 9/11 as an excuse to spy on its own people and ramp up a surveillance stateThose who would trade liberty for security deserve neither.
  • FACT:  Flying has been made ridiculously difficult by the TSA (of the DHS), which forces us to not lock luggage, not carry liquid, not carry scissors, take our shoes off, and submit to a form of legalized rape.  
  • TSA goes by a No Fly List, which we cannot access or correct when it is wrong, including congresscritters.
  • FACT:  The TSA introduced full body scanners, which they claimed were safe (and not privacy-invasive).  They lied on both counts.
  • FACT:  The TSA is expanding to trains.
  • FACT:  the TSA is denying entry to Canadians with mental health issues.
  • FACT:  the CIA is in newsrooms, the NYPD is working with the CIA, the SFPD is working for Apple, and the NYPD now has its own army and navy.
  • FACT:  the official story of 9/11 is a conspiracy theory!
  • WIDELY HELD OPINION:  We are no more safe today than before 9/11.


Whenever you need to find the genesis of a project, follow the money.

Ask yourself who benefits:
  • The government has expanded exponentially, mostly in the Department of Homeland Security and related areas.
  • The military/indistrial complex certainly seems to be the recipient of frightening sums of our dollars.
Ask yourself who loses:
  • our brave, dead soldiers and families
  • our wallets
  • our Constitution

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Well It's (not) Flooding Down in Texas

No serious musician can read that without hearing Stevie Ray Vaughan tearing it up.

As it turns out, it's not flooding or even raining or misting in Texas.  It's a regulation mess.  They need the water.

The irony here is that the Philly area has had more rain than they can deal with.  Chicago has had more rain at this point than other entire years.  Texas can have all of Philly's rain, as far as I'm concerned.

I am not a climatologist, weather forecaster (although chance is almost as accurate), or marine biologist, therefore I cannot being to figure out where to place the blame for this horrendous weather.  As we say here, it's not a climate - it's a plague.

We recently had an earthquake on a Monday.  By Friday we were in Total Panic Mode<tm> over an impending hurricane.  The hurricane was more news fury than damage (thankfully), except for several inches of water in the basement. 

I am also not an excavation specialist or basement magician, yet my task was to remove the water from the basement with the aid of a wet-vac.  As it turns out, water is very heavy, especially in five-gallon containers.  I spent the next three days feeling like I was run over by a small fleet of eighteen wheelers.

Just for fun, the area got five and a half additional inches of rain last night.  While this isn't too far from the norm, there is simply nowhere for the water to go because it won't stop raining.  Hence the lovely happy voicemail from my wife on the ride in this morning (since I moved from Verizon to T-Mobile, calls tend to go to voicemail), stating that we got more water in the basement, this time encroaching on our freezer at the far end.

Water eradication used to be an easy task years ago.  The water stopped pouring into the basement after we re-graded the soil outside.  The remaining puddles lefty via the sump pump.  This worked perfectly and automatically, therefore the township had no choice but to start inspections, insisting that all sump pump evacuation routes be blessed by the county (looking up, reverentially).  We actually had to let them into our basement to see that our pump was correctly installed.   Since the pump drained into the sink, we were ordered (HEIL!) to spend five grand to have it drain into the street or remove it totally.   We removed it totally.

So I have that to look forward to after work.  Small wonder my back is trying to send me images of Texas and Arizona at this moment....

So aside from my own full-size olympic basement pool, the first order of the day was to get to work.  Normally a relatively easy task, I had no idea of the Herculean feat that would be required.  Fox News was already in Total Panic Mode<tm>, advising people to stay off the roads (although they hadn't yet announced that they were pre-empting their normal schedule to go wall-to-wall flood coverage).  Because it won't stop raining, there was simply nowhere for the water to go.  Because there was nowhere for the water to go, it pooled.  Because the water pooled, people tried to drive through it.  Because people tried to drive through the pools, their cars died in the flood (one of the first was a police car).  There are very few live brain cells in the Philly metro area, especially among its drivers.

One of my carpool signaled he would need a ride.  A few moments later, he texted that he would be running ten minutes late, as his recycling bin had ridden the rapids and he was out in a futile search for it throughout the county - he needed a hosing-off then a shower.  This fellow comes up with better and more creative excuses than a crack addict.

When I got my most recent car, it started snowing as I drove home.  To keep things consistent, carpooler #2 just purchased a car and she has to drive us to work through a flood.  Things only get better from here.

It's a twenty minute ride to work, normally.  When I say normally, I mean with no traffic, during summer recess, when there are no buses or parents taking their godforsaken brats to school, choking up the roads.  Since school just started, the ride went to forty minutes overnight.  When you add in flooding, it's anybody's guess.

Because of flooding, one of the major arteries had to be closed, dumping all traffic onto the small road we use to get to work.  It was jammed solidly for a few miles in all directions.  Total gridlock. 

To make things just that much more interesting, we had Stereo Cacophony.  On the right, we had the constant blaring of horns, from `helpful' people beeping at cars that were simply not movingWhy do people beep horns at gridlock?

Even more unnerving and infuriating was the noise in my left ear, which turned out to be the new stereo, which was playing the new `music' from the new stations.  When I say total f-ing garbage, I'm not kidding.  The noise made me long for Britney Spears - it was that bad.  I didn't hear a single real drum for the entire ninety minute ride.  There was even a discussion of which we hated more, country music or rap music.  I noted that both terms are oxymorons.

I also realized that if I was lucky, I might be able to get a job as one of those guys in rap groups who looks angry, wears a wool cap, and says HEY into the mic every now and then.  It would suit my mood well.

To add to the hilarity, after the ninety minute car ride, the entire department was abuzz over fantasy football.  I have half a mind to go into the firewall and block the URL.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Is This A Good Time to be Italian? [the Goomba Dance]

As part of my extended Labor Day weekend, I had the pleasure of spending an evening with my parents, who I do not see enough.  We went over for the purpose of hanging out, eating (of course), and setting up their new laptop.

I'm not sure how this came about but my parents were given a brand new laptop - a stunning Dell with a seventeen inch monitor.  The thing was so heavy my mother couldn't lift it.  I believe this was considered a desktop replacement.  I love large monitors so I didn't have any trouble with it.

Well, that's not entirely true....  when I turned the thing on, to my horror, the setup routine started.... for Windows Vista [cue suspenseful music].  Anyone who has read more than two entries here knows that I'm not exactly a Microsoft enthusiast (kinda like Steve Ballmer isn't a Mac enthusiast).  I haven't spent more than ten minutes cumulatively with Vista, which suited me just fine.  The time I did spend with Vista was painful: let's just leave it there.

After an evening of good food, great company, and setting up a laptop, my total Vista exposure is now up to four and a half hours or so.  Yes, it took four and a half hours to set up Vista on a laptop and download/apply the updates.

The machine had a core duo processor and four gigs of RAM so I was hesitant to blame the performance (or lack of thereof) on hardware.  Therefore I blame it on the pig of an operating system called Vista.

I manage to tolerate Windows 7 (a pig with lipstick) relatively well, especially as I have to use it for work.  Vista, on the other hand, is enough to make me pull the remaining hair out of my scalp, set it on fire, and run around Redmond, demanding their acknowledgement that I am indeed a chicken.

I'm hoping my parents won't complain about the slowdown they experience, going from an old laptop with XP to a relatively new one with Vista.  They're currently thrilled to have email again, so we shall all remain hopeful.  The bootup sequence alone on this porcine excuse for an operating system in positively leaden.  Small wonder they sold four copies of it.

GOOMBAS?

During the interminable wait for Vista to load, my wife took advantage of my parents' cable connection to watch Real Housewives of New Jersey.

I am f-ing stunned.  There's simply no other way to put it.

Back at the homestead, we got rid of pay television due to finances and the utter wasteland comprising it.  We do not watch reality tv (or at least I don't) as a rule.  From the bits I've heard, it consists largely of people talking, ad nauseum, about themselves, as if everyone in the entire universe gave a rat's patootie.

Well, I don't like the way they keep house.  But enough about them, let's talk about me.

I had to think long and hard about a description for this debacle.  I'm a creative type, so I hate to let the opportunity get the best of me.   Try this on for size:

Real Housewives of New Jersey: It's like the Sopranos without all the witty dialog and attractive women.

I'm still stunned.

Yes, Virginia, those accents are real.   The breasts, however, are not.

I will admit to never having watched three seconds of Jersey Shore, for once letting my better judgment win the day.  But I have to say that if I were Italian, I would be quite upset at the portrayals in these shows.

Yes, there are people like this.  Hopefully they are in the minority.  I know tons of Italians, none of whom look, sound, or act like this.  In fact, I often tell people I'm Italian to confuse them.

If I didn't have a laptop with a pig of an operating system on which to operate, I would have gouged out my own eardrums.  I kept asking nicely if perhaps my wife was finished watching yet.  Then I brought out the sarcasm.  Unfortunately they sat there for hours and watched the twisted proceedings.  They kept describing it as a train wreck, from which you cannot turn away.

I don't know about you but I don't have any trouble not standing around, waiting for a train to crash.  I don't even listen to Amy Winehouse, fer chrissake.  I don't slow down to gawk at car accidents (or blinky police lights on the side of the road).  Yes, I'm one of a kind (thank your deities).

There were commercials interspersed between the tragedies.  Some of them were for Real Housewives of Different Neighborhoods.  Same idiots, different accent.

Yes, stereotypes are often hysterical.  I can laugh at almost anything.  But this isn't funny.

Bread and circuses.
Everyone will have fifteen minutes of fame.

The only funny outcome was the South Park episode we watched shortly thereafter.  Matt and Trey absolutely nailed them, throwing Snooky in for good measure.

It's a Jersey thing - you wouldn't understand.

Freddie Mercury Misses 65

Today would have been Freddie Mercury's sixth-fifth birthday.  Check out Google's doodle to celebrate.

Born Faroukh Bulsara, in Zanzibar, Freddie adopted his stage name after meeting and joining up with Brian May and Roger Taylor and changing Smile to Queen.

It's hard to imagine a sixty-five year old Freddie onstage, although I wish we could see him.  If Robert Plant can do it.....

Freddie was definitely his own man.  According to some reports, he was anybody's man, but that's beyond the scope of this blog post.  There was a great segment in a documentary where they interviewed people about his parties.  One fellow stated that he could not describe the parties on the advice of his solicitor (lawyer).

There will be a biographical movie about Freddie in the near future, starring Sacha Baron Cohen.  I'm trying to decide if this will be a good thing or a bad thing.

Rock on, Freddie.


We Say Night, DHS Insists Day

Matt Drudge, and by extension, Alex Jones, are apparently doing something right.  They might not even know it yet, but they are.  I know it because I just read that Homeland Security Secretary Janet 'Privacy for Lunch' Napolitano is upset at them.

Why, you ask, is Napolitano upset?  Because of Drudge's characterization of her as an ogre and the nickname chosen for her (Big Sis).  Janet says that Drudge is just plain wrong in his claims that DHS is spying too much.  And Hitler was not anti-semitic.

You know you're doing well when you start to appear on their radar publicly.  Rest assured he's on their radar privately.  It's when they start commenting publicly that we notice things are changing.  This blog got a comment from the TSA's public relations people a while back.

The Homeland Security chief called privacy concerns "overblown" and offered praise for the proliferation of surveillance cameras in some big U.S. cities.

These are the scary ones, folks.  The ones who look you right in the eye and tell you they're not stealing from you (as their hands are in your pockets).  

10 Facts That Prove Big Sis Is Wrong, Drudge Is Right

Remember:  Homeland Security isn't.  The Partiot Act wasn't.  
Take the name of a program and turn it around to get a better understanding.


As for Alex Jones, he's worth a listen.  Drudge got turned on to Jones a short time ago and has been running some of his headlines.  You can catch Jones via his website, GCN radio, and even shortwave radio.  He's a bit over-the-top but he usually has the real news long before (or instead of) the others.

Friday, September 2, 2011

But It's Not Fair

As a certified computer geek, I have to know how computers work.  I believe this qualifies me to want to know how most things work, including humans.  I was always curious about the much-hyped inner child.  People used to tell me about it but I never bought the concept.

I think I'm starting to get it.

I don't hear voices but if I did, the first one I'd hear would say `It's not FAIR.'
You know the voice.  You've heard it yourself.  You've said it yourself.

It's the voice of a childhood sexual abuse survivor who found out that in addition to years of therapy, she also has to endure fibromyalgia and chronic pain.

It's missing out on xmas bonus because you were hired two days late (in spite of the value you added)

It's your car breaking down the day after the warranty expires.


It occurred to me a while back that I had to disabuse myself of the notion that life was fair.  As it turns out, I'm having a bit of difficulty letting go....

By way of example, I have always driven used cars.  When I say used cars, I mean old and inevitably falling apart from the inside.  The cars were never pretty (nor am I) but I owned what I drove.  After doing some math, we discovered we could afford a new(ish) car for less than what was going into repairing two ancient land yachts.

For the first time in my life, the laughter I heard was directed at me instead of the car.  The new car simply failed to routinely break.

It failed to break right up until the first ding in the windshield.  Ding #1 was quickly followed by Ding #2 ("my wife went to Vermont and all I got was this crack in my windshield").  After the Dings, we discovered that some genius (the Auto Manufacturing Conspiracy) decided to put performance tires on Hyundais (and most other cars), at around $125+ a pop.  My car needs performance tires like I need a Speedo.

My wife is what's known as an Asshole Magnet, except this extends to her driving.  I have seen assholes come out of nowhere to try and assault our car while she's driving.

Two weeks ago some idiot sideswiped the car while my wife drove.  Today I got a call that she was waiting for the police because yet another asshole pulled an Instant U-Turn in the middle of the road and banged into our (apparently highly invisible) car.

I would like to publicly thank the Philthydelphia Police for keeping both parties in a vehicular accident waiting for close to an hour, at which point both parties simply gave up and drove off.  I thought people were joking when they told me Philly police don't show up unless there's a gun involved.  These are apparently the same police who arrested two guys for rafting in the flood for lack of common sense.

And since this was a Philly driver, there was no insurance.

The partially overhyped Hurricane Irene attempted to turn my basement into a swimming pool.

So yeah, my alleged inner child is having alleged inner fits right about now, screaming "It's not FAIR!"


--------------------------

No, it's not fair.  Many people have it worse.  At least I have my health (and currently, a fever).