Friday, September 2, 2011

But It's Not Fair

As a certified computer geek, I have to know how computers work.  I believe this qualifies me to want to know how most things work, including humans.  I was always curious about the much-hyped inner child.  People used to tell me about it but I never bought the concept.

I think I'm starting to get it.

I don't hear voices but if I did, the first one I'd hear would say `It's not FAIR.'
You know the voice.  You've heard it yourself.  You've said it yourself.

It's the voice of a childhood sexual abuse survivor who found out that in addition to years of therapy, she also has to endure fibromyalgia and chronic pain.

It's missing out on xmas bonus because you were hired two days late (in spite of the value you added)

It's your car breaking down the day after the warranty expires.

It occurred to me a while back that I had to disabuse myself of the notion that life was fair.  As it turns out, I'm having a bit of difficulty letting go....

By way of example, I have always driven used cars.  When I say used cars, I mean old and inevitably falling apart from the inside.  The cars were never pretty (nor am I) but I owned what I drove.  After doing some math, we discovered we could afford a new(ish) car for less than what was going into repairing two ancient land yachts.

For the first time in my life, the laughter I heard was directed at me instead of the car.  The new car simply failed to routinely break.

It failed to break right up until the first ding in the windshield.  Ding #1 was quickly followed by Ding #2 ("my wife went to Vermont and all I got was this crack in my windshield").  After the Dings, we discovered that some genius (the Auto Manufacturing Conspiracy) decided to put performance tires on Hyundais (and most other cars), at around $125+ a pop.  My car needs performance tires like I need a Speedo.

My wife is what's known as an Asshole Magnet, except this extends to her driving.  I have seen assholes come out of nowhere to try and assault our car while she's driving.

Two weeks ago some idiot sideswiped the car while my wife drove.  Today I got a call that she was waiting for the police because yet another asshole pulled an Instant U-Turn in the middle of the road and banged into our (apparently highly invisible) car.

I would like to publicly thank the Philthydelphia Police for keeping both parties in a vehicular accident waiting for close to an hour, at which point both parties simply gave up and drove off.  I thought people were joking when they told me Philly police don't show up unless there's a gun involved.  These are apparently the same police who arrested two guys for rafting in the flood for lack of common sense.

And since this was a Philly driver, there was no insurance.

The partially overhyped Hurricane Irene attempted to turn my basement into a swimming pool.

So yeah, my alleged inner child is having alleged inner fits right about now, screaming "It's not FAIR!"


No, it's not fair.  Many people have it worse.  At least I have my health (and currently, a fever).

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