A Watched Elephant Never Flies

Shit got hacked. 
Info got taken.


Also, here's another completely disheartening flaw, in your SIM card, by which hackers can hijack your phone with a simple text. There's a great bit in the article about a private company that works with governments using this for 2 years for surveillance.  soooo.... tired...



Lions can see in the dark. Know what else can see in the dark?
Humans. With infrared goggles.
And pussycats.
Know what this means?
It means that dogs with infrared goggles are lions.



RIP Ginger Baker (80) - Cream, Blind Faith, etc



Dear lefty

• What was my biggest mistake?
• Performing oral in back alleys for $10. 
• (the going rate is $20)

Today I identify as: the F22 Osprey aircraft - for every hour in the air, there's 16 hours of maintenance.

• BREAKING: Chimpanzee on the loose in Santa Fe, Texas, harassing residents and reportedly attempting to steal cats
• Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Please tell me what to think.

NPR (yuck) Fresh Air (yay) had an interview with the author of a book about Sidney Gottlieb. You can find a transcript online. Sidney worked for the CIA, who wanted to start looking into mind control, for the purposes of spying and carrying information, unknown to the courier (Manchurian Candidate). Thus began MK-ULTRA in 1953. Gottlieb ran the program, which included electric shocks, sleep deprivation, personality wiping, LSD, repetitive audio reinforcement over weeks, and heaven knows what else. This also ran in Toronto.

Gottlieb eventually went away and in 1975, the Church Committee discovered who he was, via exposing MK-ULTRA. Gottlieb went straight to the records warehouse and destroyed everything. On the stand, he developed an incredible case of memory loss, almost as bad as the people he tortured. The politicians didn't really know the extent of the program so they let him go.

The leftovers are slogging around Canada and the US. Broken people, some with their memory wiped, so they don't know their own families. Some with multiple personalities. Some developed alcohol and substance abuse issues. Some just wander in and out of hospitals.  A few people sued and got settlements.

Gottlieb was friends with Frank Olsen, who was thrown jumped out of a hotel window and died. Eventually President Ford admitted to it, met and apologized to the family, and awarded them compensation.

This is your tax dollars and your government. This is what we know. Imagine what we don't know. MK-ULTRA was closed down, but you're a fool if you think the work stopped.



No thank you, I'd rather have sex with Charlie Sheen

• Little Feat, one of my favorite bands, is celebrating its 50th birthday. Tune in and watch them play a few songs. RIP Lowell George and Ritchie Hayward.

Direct from the NSA:
Discover more about our commitment to protecting civil liberties and privacy in our 1st semi-annual NSA Civil Liberties and Privacy Officer Report.   Cut it out. Stop. Next up: Dick Cheney's report on making and keeping friends.

• Did you hear about the partying dyslexic?  He swallowed the LDS.

Faceyspaces suspended the Israeli Prime Minister's page for 24 hours over 'hate speech'.  I'm laughing too hard to find the link.


Everybody's favorite always mad lady, AOC (see below), says it is 'barbarism' that the US does not guarantee a 'right' to housing.  Everybody's most-tolerated blogger, lefty, says if this is true, when is she paying my mortgage?




It Has Started.
2 men from the Netherlands have been arrested for trespassing at Area 51. One told police he was a YouTube personality. They were arrested 3 miles inside the gate.

But but but... I'm famous! I'm a YouTube celebrity! People love and respect me! They get up early just to see my videos.. I'm popular. An influencer. Girls like me. Really. YouTube celebrities don't lie.

I've never been to Nevada, but I understand it's incredibly difficult to get near the gate, no less 3 miles in. They have vibration sensors and audio. They have very serious men in camo, with the guns people want taken away. They are private security and call the sheriff to arrest interlopers. The sign says shooting is authorized. You can search YouTube for videos of people trying to get in and watch what happens. They're watched the entire time by the guards. The moment someone crosses the line, they're there. Claiming they were 3 miles inside doesn't seem to fit with reality. Add the fact that the base knows The People From Faceyspaces are coming, and you smell something off. As Flounder said, about the upcoming hordes....




Heroes of the Stupid

A North Carolina woman cut off her husband's penis after tying him up. Deputies found the severed limb and gave it to medics.  All together now - OUCH




SJW Silliness

Dateline San Francisco, California: SJW Central has just announced that White blood cells are a tool of the patriarchy and will be renamed Pink blood cells, to be inclusive. The red blood cells will absolutely not work because Trump Hat, so the red blood cells will identify as blue.  [ThermionicEmissions, by lefty]

Illegal alien charged for alleged sex with a cow arrested again. Things sure must be different south of Texas.

Pete Buttigieg, presidential democratic candidate: Using a straw or eating a burger means you are 'part of the problem'

Why the way we teach kids table manners is actually kind of racist
The message that eating food with your hands is unmannered is dripping with the control and shame of colonization - and we need to rethink our idea of "good manners," says chef and food activist Joshna Maharaj.   Food Activist? Me too - everybody eat a candy bar.

Lemon Curry?

Japan releases dog poo app.  I just like saying dog poo app.

• The decision to award the Nobel Peace Prize to US President Barack Obama in 2009 failed to live up to expectations, the committee's ex-secretary has said. Their awards to Iran and Mussolini also failed somewhat.

The internet is positively abuzz with news of a Faceyspaces Dislike button. Hit it! We dislike Faceyspaces!

• We all know how I feel about the president. However, he pulled one on the pope that has me howling: he invited a transvestite, a pro-abortion nun and a pair of gay bishops to the White House when the pope visits. This was described as a stunning show of political indecorum. More indecorum in the White House, I say!

Have humans made dogs stupid? I had no idea it was catching. Are they watching reality tv now?

• Snake with no mate gives birth for second time. Uh-oh... a second virgin birth, the pope visiting, and Microsoft has developed its own linux.......IT'S THE END TIMES!!!!

I have a friend who somehow became afflicted with children. While visiting one day, I noticed something really odd (in spite of my complete lack of child-rearing skills): Mom would tell one of the children to go to the bathroom, almost out of the blue.

About fifteen years down the line, when she's caught and the inevitable interviews with the neighbors all reveal what a nice child she was, the psychologists hired by the court will trace the whole nightmare back to Mom making her go to the bathroom on command. Books will be written. CSI will do an episode on it.

Speaking of which, did you ever see the neighbors say that it was only a matter of time? They could tell something was going to happen - he was just that kind of child. They're suprised it wasn't worse. THAT's the kind of news we need to see on tv.

• Vladimir Putin will be meeting Elton John for a chat about LGBT rights. And Ted Nugent, for a talk on the proper way to prepare bear.

"If the Government were placed in charge of the Sahara Desert, they would run out of sand in 5 years"
- Milton Friedman

• A Guantanamo Bay detainee has an online dating profile. "Detained but ready to mingle". Their first date will be da bomb!

A DFW Whataburger (former) employee refused to serve police the other day. #policestomachsmatter 

• [sigh] Donald Trump, our only hope for genuine White House hilarity, fashion plate and inveterate dog-fluffer, pledged a huge military buildup and better healthcare for veterans. Oh well, the man whose slogan is 'I couldn't be any worse' is now promising things and not specifying how he'd pay for them. Yes, The Donald is now officially a politician.
• Speaking of buffoons, Jeb Bush says people need to stop demonizing the NSA.

Every few weeks at work, some nice person comes along and dusts my cubicle. The other day I was privileged to observe this ritual: she proceeds to dust all of the bookshelves, which has the effect of relocating all of the dust to my desktop. This is cleaning efficiency at its finest. The Cleaning Union is hiring someone to push all of the dust from the desktop to the floor. Next year's contract includes provisions for a vacuuming expert.

• Being a British Isil jihadist isn't all glamour and brides.... this guy laments the hygiene, shoe theft and lining-up behavior of his fellow jihadists from other countries. Maybe the key to destroying Isil is to let them destroy themselves from within.

Chipzilla has produced a sports bra which opens vents when it senses a certain level of heat and sweat. Millions of men are now practicing their hacking skills.

• Federal air marshals under investigation for filming sex with a prostitute while on duty.  Provided your hijacker is having sex with the marshal, everything is under control. Don't you feel safer already?

Paxil, the antidepressant, is deemed unsafe for young people after reanalysis. The manufacturer said it was safe for young people. What they meant to say was that it was NOT safe for young people. They apologize.

• PC POLICE ATTACK!
• University seeks to ban expressions of intolerance
• Comics don't want to play colleges anymore
• Devo member apologizes for 9-11 themed wedding, box cutter favors
• Robot ethicist launches campaign against sex robots, saying such products demean women and reinforce stereotypes. In unrelated news, robot ethicist's house TP'd and raided by SWAT. Accounts hacked and credit card has charges from religious beastiality midget porn sites.

SELFIE NEWS: A Japanese tourist died at the Taj Mahal after slipping down a staircase. He had been taking a selfie. Another senseless selfie-related death.



MUSICAL MENTIONINGS:

The Reverend Billy F Gibbons (ZZ Top) is about to release a solo album. In the meantime, he's up to his old tricks in the video for Treat Her Right.

John Hiatt is a songwriter who doesn't get his due. He wrote Have a Little Faith in Me (Joe Cocker, others), Memphis in the Meantime (Gregg Allmann), Thing Called Love (Bonnie Raitt), and Angel Eyes (Jeff Healey), among many others. You may not have heard him perform them but his style is original.  He also has a great sense of humor, not a standard feature in too many people from Indianapolis. He recently toured with another ThermionicEmissions favorite, Lyle Lovett.

My brother turned me onto John, the first song being Little Head. Let's just say it's a variation on the theme of of men's central processing units being centrally located. Another song that sits in my phone's mp3 directory is Cry Love. It has no guitar solo and I have no idea what it's about (making me a perfect American consumer).

Speaking of Thing Called Love, here's a Bonnie Raitt live version, complete with John. And nothing would be complete without a complete diversion, via Bonnie Raitt and Emmylou Harris singing backup on Little Feat's live version of Dixie Chicken, complete with RIP Feat members Lowell George and Richie Hayward.

Fred and Paul from Little Feat - Keswick Theater - 9/11/15

Doggie Do

Tissues, or rather, many many pieces of tissues, continue to appear in the house. The dog has a thing for shredding tissues and he prefers used ones. I have mentioned (I think) the progression of trashcans:

1. Regular Can: he sticks his head in, like a smorgasbord, and gets the tissues
2. Tall Can: he knocks it over and gets the tissues
3. Tall, Expensive Electronic Can: can flipped out and randomly opened and closed the lid, flipping out the dog
4. Foot-Operated Can: finally - there is no way a spaniel can figure out how to step on a lever!

Recently, tissues have started popping up, with no apparent source. Aside from the ones my wife leaves on the floor before throwing out, there are no tissues anywhere but in the foot-operated cans.

The only thing worse than finding shredded tissues all over the floor is finding them in bed. Flummoxed, we couldn't figure out how he was getting them so we decided to do the American thing and just ignore it. Until last night, when I walked into the bedroom, just in time to watch him nudge the lid up with his snout, take a tissue and shred it.  Caught, he wagged his tail and put on his best Gee, Dad, I wasn't stealing tissues from the trash can look.

Eventually I'm going to remember that it's a bitch when your pets are smarter than you and just stop trying.

A Tune or Two

I like a lot of bands but very few are favorites.  Little Feat is a favorite.  They have the best rhythm section there is (for my money - sorry Led Zep). Everything they do is funky, like New Orleans on speed. Here are two signature tunes, Fat Man in the Bathtub and Rock and Roll Doctor, from a live special in 1975.

The singer/guitarist, Lowell George, was a founding member who also played in Zappa's Mothers of Invention. Fat Man in the Bathtub is for him.  The man could sing like an angel and play slide like an old black man at the Crossroads.  He did not use a traditional slide; instead preferring a Craftsmen 11/16" socket (because the 5/8" socket presumably didn't sound as good). Lowell died of an overdose, in bed. Unfortunately Richie Hayward, the drummer, died recently of cancer. 

Fat Man has a groove that is beyond infectious. It's was a common opener and never failed to get the audience up and moving. To hell with the Dead, Feat Audiences never stopped (and didn't require half the drugs). After you get done, listen to Waiting for Columbus, the 1975 live album. Sure enough, it starts with Fat Man and only gets better.  

The Feat got back together after Lowell's death, featuring several singers. They currently tour with Paul Barrerre (the other guitar player) as the singer and Fred Tackett on second guitar.  Do NOT miss then when you get the chance. Listen to their entire catalog and move your posterior.

You Call That Sh-t Music? [or I'm Turning into My Parents]

The good news is that I'm carpooling to work now.  It's uncharacteristically green of me, I know.  One does what one can (especially when it saves lots of gas).  When your Hyundai doesn't do that much better on gas than your land yacht Lincoln, you realize maybe you should have researched further.

The other good news is that I'm carpooling with a real sweetheart (who's sort of my niece-in-law, twice removed).  I'd be hard-pressed to find a single flaw with this arrangement.


And of course when I say I'd be hard-pressed to find a single flaw, there is one single flaw.  Just a tiny one that, if anyone else were typing, wouldn't amount to an anthole.  I'm speaking, of course, about the choice of radio station and (alleged) music.

This was inevitable.  She's twenty-one and I'm... not.  Let's just say I'm more than twice her age.  Her boyfriend, my nephew-in-law (twice removed), has pretty good taste in music, having gotten at least some of it from me.  He does love the guitar players, being one himself.  His dalliances into the thrashy stuff can be forgiven.  In fact, I can forgive most stuff.

Except what I have been hearing from the HOT HITS station.

To call this stuff music is a grievous error, punishable by death. Even if it's on quietly in the background, it agitates me.  We have an occasional third carpool member who's older than me by a few years.  I sometimes watch his eyeballs look at each other and spin like slot machines when the stereo is on.  He is way too polite to verbalize his feelings.  I, however,  have no such impediment.  He dares not talk too loudly because some of his music sounds like someone strangling a saxophone.

Every generation tortures the previous generation with its choice of music; it's probably written into the genetic code (somewhere past the serial killer gene).  I can't bear to think back to what I did to my parents (although I picked up Joe Cocker from my folks and traded them the Allman Brothers and Little Feat).  The intro to Hendrix must've come as a bit of a shock, though.

"Turn that down - that's not music" was a constant refrain.  And now that I have uttered those very words, I realize how horrible they sound.

Your honor, I have a few things to say in my defense:

• When we played a song, it required a certain number of musicians to perform, not dancers.
• We used to carry around a dumb piece of equipment called a drummer, as opposed to the dumb piece of equipment called a drum machine.  Subtle but substantive.
• Hats - not hair extensions.
• The only person who stood with his arms crossed, trying to look intimidating, and randomly said `HEY' was the road manager.
• We were generically off-pitch and proud.  Autotune?
• No headset mics, unless you want to hear me cursing at the band between songs.
• Backup singers, not backup dancers.

I don't remember the source of this but it is said that a song is no good if it can't be reduced to a piano or acoustic guitar with voice and sound great (what, no beat box?).

Being late to the party (or chronically never arriving), I just realized this is what `the kids today' are listening to.  It's really sad that they have to refer to this as their music.  This probably explains why my nephews like to listen to a lot of the stuff I do.. they tell me there's nothing there for them in recent music.  We shall never see another Led Zeppelin.  Or Frank Zappa, for that matter.


Sadly, the phrase `lonely as a guitar player at a rap concert' comes to mind.