Round Peg in a Trapezoidal Tutu

 Your love is like  trichinosis

RIP Ned Beatty (83) natural causes

• 'I miss airline meals so much I make them at home'
• Where Van Halen lived, this is a 5150. Where I live, it's a 302 (involuntary commitment)

Biden thinks we should build municipal broadband

The CEO of AT&T thinks the industry can kill the plan and keep getting billions for private ISPs

On the bright side, there's no hidden agenda - it's all out in the open  

• Headache and runny nose linked to Delta variant (vaccine)

Three experts resign as FDA advisers over approval of Alzheimer’s drug

It's never been 'follow the science' - it's 'follow the money'

Don't forget the rapid OK of aspartame (Nutra Sweet) and Donald Rumsfeld's tenure as head of FDA 

Today I identify as  a telephone pole. One that looks suspiciously like it might fall over

Queen meets Joe Biden at Windsor Castle

Joe forgot his 3x5 card and kept calling her Mrs. Queen

Joe has a permanent black and blue mark from where the lovely Mrs. Biden keeps elbowing him  

Follow the Stupid 

Apple settles lawsuit after iPhone techs posted woman’s explicit photos on Facebook, report says

Let's take this piece by piece: owner of phone naturally takes nudes and a sex video, because she has to. No, there have not been any scandals where big celebrities have gotten their accounts hacked and their videos got online. Nor has anyone's boyfriend posted them to brag or out of spite. Nope. Nothing like that.

Phone breaks and she takes it to authorized Apple repair shop. Shop somehow manages to post all of the pics and video on Faceyspaces. Because surely nothing will come of an authorized Apple repair shop posting someone's nudes online. Perhaps they thought they were Geek Squad, who only got a copy of any nudes that came through repair. Lastly there's Faceyspaces. Of course there's Faceyspaces. People are killing themselves and posting it live on Faceyspaces.

It's not that we're not getting any brighter... it's that we're getting more stupid

True Story 

My friend down the block gets a call from his aged neighbor: did he know there was a massager in the back yard? He goes out to check and discovers his dog tried to bury his wife's... personal massager/jackhammer, essential adult toy. My friend wants to know how the dog got the device, and how he walked past the humans with it and its 10' cord, with nobody seeing it.

This is why I love living where I live.

UFOs in the news 

China to call on UN to probe UFOs as Beijing launches investigation into close encounters, claims ex-Pentagon insider  [do you mean China hasn't been studying them just like the US hasn't?]

'Truth embargo': UFOs are suddenly all the talk in Washington

Ya know, UFOs!

Believe or not what you will, but you have to know something's up when the Giggle Factor has disappeared. You know, when the news is reporting something in the air and fails to make 'little green men' jokes or giggle.

Proof humans can reproduce on Mars as scientists discover sperm survives in space

Let's put on our Dr. Science hats, kids. 

The experiment involved mice. What do our Dr. Science hats tell us about how mice sperm mimics human sperm - because the article says nothing other than samples went to the International Space Station. I hope it means dogs can reproduce. It would be a terrible, lonely planet without them.

TOKYO, June 14 (Reuters) - Tokyo Olympic organisers plan to give away about 150,000 condoms at next month's Games, but are telling athletes to take them home rather than use them in the Olympic village where social distancing rules and coronavirus measures are the top priority.

I read an article on this a while back, stating the Olympic athletes were sexual athletes and ran through a staggering amount of condoms. Based upon the desire to raise awareness, Tokyo has added a few olympic sports

• 50 yard condom wrapper throw
• 100 yard condom snap (empty and .... not)
• get the condom to your teammate, who ran out and is about to get busy
• condom sizing race

Monica Lewinsky is producing the latest installment of Impeachment: American Crime Story, for which she serves as a hands-on producer.

The series is about the Clintons, and Monica has yet to specify the cause of her own death.

• Man with 39 wives dies
• because he wanted to 

What a day. I opened up Outlook and it didn't take up the whole screen by itself.

Just kidding 

perhaps a license to reproduce IS a good idea

Neon Insanities

 Your love is like  feral wombats

The House is currently brawling over vaccines. Naturally they have their own supply, but the bickering is fun. Some haven't reported getting the shot, some won't get the shot, some like to watch things burn, and the rest of them are banging gavels and asking when they can get back to screwing America in person

• No, the toothbrush is not heavier after it's charged

Today I identify as  some sort of delicacy involving testicles

The Netherlands (anywhere under my first girlfriend's clothes) and Ireland have suspended use of the Astra/Zeneca vaccine over blog clots (and blood clots). At this point there is no direct connection between the vaccine and the blood clots, other than people began clotting and had cerebral hemorrhages after they got jabbed.

The Big Answer came from the Vatican over gay marriage: in a two page explanation published in seven languages and approved by the pope was "No". The answer prompted shock among Catholics and non-Catholics the world over. The explanation was that they could not bless sin.

Still nothing on child molestation.

• An anti-mask airline passenger was charged after urinating in the cabin
• the passenger demanded his money back from the Donald Trump School of Charm

In San Antonio, TX, a ramen noodle shop was vandalized days after its owner spoke out against ending the state's mask mandate.

There is a ramen noodle shop? 

• a Florida woman pretending to be a plastic surgeon was arrested after a bad nose surgery
• there was a person in the chair when the police made the arrest, but the janitor came in and finished the surgery.

Today the president  planned the first major federal tax hike since 1993.

Allegedly over 50% of you voted for the old guy, and now I have to pay. Thank you very much.

Strip the pork out of the government, THEN we'll talk tax increase. There is not a responsible bone in any body in DC. Tax and spend and tax. And you keep voting for them. The libertarians would be slashing government, not raising taxes.

• The Oscar nominations are out.

Survey says!

The average single is masturbating three times a day amid the Flying AIDS lockdown. 3 in 10 are masturbating more than once a day. Only 14% are doing it once a day. 34% had their best orgasm ever. I'll buy all these statistics, but the one about 26% saying they're watching more pr0n is just silly. On average, singles haven't had sex with someone else for over 4 months. Married people are saying, "Only four months?".

America's Governor, Andrew Cuomo, reports he is not getting it at all, in spite of allegations from most of female New York. His ex wife slept in a locked bathroom during their divorce. The dogs ran when he got home. The housekeepers wore chastity belts. His garbage got picked up at 1am if there were female sanitation engineers working that night. Biden and Pelosi have stopped short of calling for his resignation (because his name isn't Trump). 

Kentucky continues its reaction to being last on the best states to live list.

The state senate approved a bill that would make insulting a police office a crime. Some senate members were deeply offended, claiming it was unconstitutional. Let's see... is it legal to talk to the police? Of course it is. Is it legal to say less pleasant things? Well, yes, but proving your point will probably earn you a night in jail or a ticket for something or other. The bill's sponsor is a former policeman. His next bill will make jaywalking a death penalty crime.

I always wanted to make not using turn signals a death penalty crime. No free speech issues there.

• The NCAA has called foul on a Virginia Urology ad campaign. Apparently "Vasectomy Mayhem" is too close to "March Madness" and people are too stupid to understand the difference. 
  
• It looks like Vasectomy Mayhem could do us some good

Breonna Taylor anniversary protest marches happened.

During the peaceful events, 2 protesters tried to destroy a police car and got run over because the car decided it was mad as hell and wasn't going to take it anymore. Several businesses in Hollywood were 'protested'. Yet another peaceful protester smashed up an outdoor seating area of a restaurant. Armed protesters blocked traffic in Louisville, and arson is suspected after a fire in a vacant church.

Peaceful protests have broken out in Tigray, where hospitals have been vandalized and looted, almost collapsing the healthcare system.

• DMT, a powerful psychedelic, is being tested as a potential cure for depression in England
• By coincidence, untold numbers of people are coming out as depressed

The National Transportation Safety Board blasted the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration for its permissive regulation of driver-assistance systems, specifically Tesla. Foregoing mention of the Tesla's propensity to burst into flames, they were more concerned about lax safety practices. The National Safety Traffic Board called out the National Transportation Board Administration for no practices at all and the National Driver-Assistance Explosion Agency was born. It will report to the National Highway Plane Landing Bureau, for safety programs when damaged planes try to land on highways. Land with the traffic, not against it.

• Live music is coming back to New York. Musicians are serenading passers-by from inside abandoned shops, through the glass windows.
• right after they pull Governor Cuomo off any female band members

We have Ebola. That's right, there's an outbreak in Guinea. Guinea is located just south of New Guinea. Genetic study shows the virus may have hidden in a survivor for 5-6 years. The unnamed man/woman came down with Ebola 5-6 years ago and was vaccinated with the Astra/Zeneca/Pfizer vaccine, which appeared to neutralize the Ebola. Little did they realize it was hiding behind the left kidney. When doctors checked to make sure the Ebola vaccine was effective, it moved behind a lung, until x-rays were ordered, at which point it hid under the right big toe. Whenever you see a discoloration under a nail, it's Ebola, hiding. You never know when it's going to pounce, but you will know when it has pounced. You start to bring up your internal organs (and toenails) through your nose and mouth, going into an infinite loop and infecting everyone around you and their toe or fingernails. It is always best to avoid people bringing up their liquefied internal organs, per the National Highway Safety Association.

• another thing I love about MS Outlook: when it brings up an email under the main window and you can't bring it forward
• I was only 15 minutes late for work today because of the Windows virus. All I needed to do was start the machine up. HA! One doesn't just start up a machine... there are tests... checks.. updates.. calls to Aunt Marge.. I shall just have to get up 30 minutes earlier in case Windows occurs.

I don't get this: Chinese smartphone manufacturer Xaomi was put on the Huawei (ban) list by the government and sued. There is a temporary hold on the ban. The company said the ban was "arbitrary and capricious," and deprived the company of its due process.

Errr.... what due process is a manufacturer owed? Huawei was banned because we don't want Chinese Spying Stuff in our networking gear. It was the right decision by Trump. Why, now, can't we make that decision elsewhere? What am I missing?

If you use SKY ECC for your encrypted messaging, you had better stop. Belgium and the Netherlands broke the encryption and monitored 70,000 users. The CEO was arrested under Racketeering laws. Essentially he was arrested because his secure messaging service was used by criminals and wasn't secure enough to keep governments out.

They will not stop til they have everything. Almost everything isn't good enough. For the time being, use protonmail.com. We are doing nothing wrong by wanting the privacy guaranteed us by the Constitution. Also: don't say anything in email you wouldn't say out loud. Somebody is or will be listening.

• A Faceyspaces study says a small group plays a big role in pushing vaccine skepticism. How did they discover this? By looking at your posts. They will not stop mining you. Will you stop letting them?

It's the little stuff, always.

I'm watching a Britcom called Raised by Wolves. I didn't really want to hear the songs I heard until "Show Me the Way" by Peter Frampton. It was the studio version off the Frampton album. Give it a listen - you'll hear a lot of the songs from  'Comes Alive' and a few more. Great stuff. Old stuff.

lefty Does Office 2010

They say that talking about yourself in the third person is the first sign of insanity.
So be it.

I have one computer at home and work that runs Windows.  I use Outlook for corporate email and calendaring.  We are running all manner of Office versions at work.

There's something called the 80/20 rule, whereby 80% of the people use 20% of the functions of certain software.  For once, I am very clearly in the majority.  The air is strange up here.

Quite honestly, I was pretty happy with Office 2000.  I installed Office 2003 a while back, after seeing the horror that was Office 2007.  Again, I use basic calendaring, email, and word processing.  Over on the linux side, I use AbiWord and Thunderbird (both also available for Windows) and they handle all my needs.

I'm forced to migrate to a newer Office version and decided to go to 2010.  Some would call it upgrading.  I call it downgrading, as is frequently the case with Microsoft products.  The first thing I noticed is that the install took forever on my current HP desktop.  It sucked up all available resources, frequently refreshing the icons on the desktop.   And you know that when it was done, it required a reboot.  Linux doesn't.  When it rebooted, it still had more to do and kept me waiting a while before the ctl-alt-delete screen came up.  This screams bloatware right off the bat.

Standard behavior for most software is to upgrade the program's icons.  Instead, it deleted the old icons and failed to replace them.  Odd.

When I brought up Outlook, it did what all annoying software seems to do, which is maximize itself to take up an entire screen.  This is by no means restricted to Microsoft - it just annoys the hell out of me.

The part I was dreading most showed up immediately: the ribbon bar (or whatever it's called).  To my friends at Microsoft, this was a dunderheaded move.  I don't design software but you don't take things and hide them or move them around randomly, as you did with Office.  It simply confuses your user base.  A prime example of this is Windows 7.  I don't care what your studies say or your color preferences are, hiding stuff is bad (mkay???).

Fortunately you can hide the ribbon bar, but this is of only limited usefulness.  I kind of enjoy the tiny icon bars that are across the top of every piece of software I use on both platforms.  Huge icon bars are fine for Macs and the visually impaired but not for people who have to use Windows.  Is there a replacement ribbon bar or perhaps a way to go smaller?  [Research needed, lefty]

Trying to actually use the ribbon bar is another problem.  Too much there.  Not intuitive.  Too much looking around for things that have been hidden.  Again, not a smart idea, MS.

A quick look at Word echoes my Ribbon Rant.  Seems ok otherwise.

What I do like about Outlook is the ability to have more information available onscreen.  On earlier versions I used, calendar was always a separate screen.  Having it available with email makes it more useful, especially with larger and/or multiple screens.

One way to do away with ribbons (partially) is to customize the Quick Access bar.  It does not support all icons, though.

I have noticed a curious lag when typing in Outlook that was not there in 2003.
Bloated.


More as I find it...


UPDATE:  Excel 2010 keeps failing to respond randomly while working on spreadsheets.  I have Googled and tried safe mode, to no avail.  I have had it with this bloated, ribbon-strangled piece of... software.  I'm upgrading to Office 2003.