Service Elepant Dating

Ladies and gentleman, the truest statement ever on The Flying AIDS:

One of the biggest challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic is that we simply don't know what works against the SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus.

The great thing about current Flying AIDS testing is that it can take weeks to get your results back, in which time you could have been infected or spreading the infection.


Just to make things more interesting, a California resident tested positive for the plague. Florida is working overtime to beat this- perhaps a touch of leprosy.  


Apparently fear of the Flying AIDS makes you behave differently too. SEPTA, Philly's public transport system, mostly referred to as the SEPTIC system, changed their schedule, but forgot to tell their website, where everyone goes to see their schedule. Ok, that's not different behavior.



Your love is like  wearing a mask inside the house





Told you so

Oh what a feeling: New Toyotas will upload data to AWS to help create custom insurance premiums based on driver behaviour. You do not want a connected car. If you go to buy one, insist the dealer pull the plug or you won't buy it.

Your data will go to Toyota, whoever Toyota sells data to, insurers, the dealership, emergency services, and whomever else.

and again  

The Weather Channel mobile app's operator settled a suit, wherein the users surrendered their location info for personalized forecasts and alerts, and the company sold their data. They're terribly sorry and will tell you they're selling your data in the future. Listen to me: it's bad enough you give up your location... there's even more behind the curtain. If you have any doubts, don't do it. Just assume the worst and you'll be well-warned. 

If you're looking for some trustworthy android software, check out f-droid first. It's all open source, you're not tracked, and it's very specific if it requires any information from you. It's also not Goog, which is a good thing in itself.

and again  

235 million Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube user profiles just leaked.
The info would be very handy for phishers, and is thought to have come from a company called Deep Social. Deep Social referred the query to the Hong Kong-registered Social Data, which shut down the database within 3 hours, but naturally denied any connection with Deep Social. Remember: like sexually transmitted diseases, you're not only sleeping with a partner... you're sleeping with everyone the partner slept with. This could be a data thief or a third party payment company. In this case, it's Hong Kong. Because you have an Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube account. Another way in which posting your data in public will come back to bite you in sensitive parts of your body.


and finally!

Morning people are linked with a higher risk of Alzheimer's 

When they prove exercise causes cancer, I will finally be vindicated.

Faceyspaces banned about 900 pages and groups and 1,500 ads tied to the pro-Trump conspiracy theory QAnon, part of a sweeping action that also restricted the reach of over 10,000 Instagram pages and almost 2,000 Facebook groups.
Faceyspaces is under no obligation to allow free speech or anything they don't like, however.... it's spreading to all large social media outlets, creating de-facto censorship. I don't care about QAnon - I care about freedom of ideas. If nothing else, remember that many things, including the JFK assassination, were 'conspiracy theories' at first, yet were true. Now you have to pass Twitter, Faceyspaces and social media testing to even discuss something online. Doesn't that sound a little creepy to you?


Speaking of creepy....

The US government has warned against the use of anti-drone technology by private companies and even American states, saying it could break current wiretap and hacking laws.

• Former swimmer Harry Needs (UK), came out as bisexual.
• Why?  

Dear lefty

• What's the best thing about having a blog?
• When I don't feel good, the dog fills in.

• Did you know I think you're an unqualified ass?
• Yet you come back often and continue to ask stupid questions.

In a surprise to the entire country, the Democrats nominated Joe Biden as their presidential candidate. Accepting the nomination, Joe said, "I want to thank God, Black Lives Matter, the Academy, and all the people who make papier mache goods and services available to the fine citizens of this state."

As a concerned citizen, I want to do all I can to bring people together. Society is way too divided. Let me get my Black Lives Matter t-shirt on, use my woman-owned company soap, vote for a female president, put on my Back The Blue socks and my MAGA hat, stop talking to my brother because he's pro-Trump, run someone over because they believe differently, and torch a court building for of peace. I'm going to start by blocking both sides of the freeway in the name of togetherness.

There's a movie coming out called 'Tesla,' about the man and his story.

One of his ideas was to use AC instead of Edison's DC to power the country. You had better thank Tesla: getting shocked by AC will push you away. Getting shocked by DC will hold you there.

I renew my anthropological call for answers about certain peoples with proportionally larger butts. This is an honest request as to why a disproportional number of black, latina, and other women have disproportionally large butts. People with blogs and a lot of free time on their hands ask these questions.


I say to myself, hey, let's listen to some Jimi Hendrix.
Then I say to Mrs lefty - I'd like to hear some ....  ummm.... DAMMIT!
My mother, with senile dementia, is doing this. She has a lot of trouble coming up with words at the ends of sentences. Mind you, I've been doing it longer than Mom has had her diagnosis.  You?

You Gotta Love Blonde Asians...

An Australian lady went to Vietnam. Upon return, she got pulled aside for inspection. Turns out her boyfriend, a plastic surgeon, installed buttock implants in Vietnam.

Say it again: buttock implants.

We know they're not new, but think about it..it's inserting something pillowy in the body. Like breast implants... a few years back, a woman was arrested in Philly for doing butt implants, one of which killed someone.

Epilogue: the butt implants contained large amounts of drugs.

• A man proposed to his girlfriend in court. That's so romantic, ain't it? She was in court for stabbing him 13 times. That should be some marriage... all lawyers in the court gave him their cards.

This probably went viral last week... the 16 year old girl who called 911 because Daddy took her cell phone away. The policeman sternly explained that 911 is for real crimes and went on to tell the child that everything really belongs to Dad anyway - she's a minor.

I think she's due for a Learning Opportunity. She will work in a 911 center, shadowing operators and listening to actual 911 emergencies. Hopefully this will help her understand the difference. While she's there, she can help out by cleaning the bathrooms. 

Dear lefty:

• I try really hard to get my boss to like me. What else can I do?
• Nothing. Your head is already so far up her ass, when you sneeze, she burps.

As I type this, Betty White turns 97.

After the nuclear apocalypse, there will only be Betty, shacking up with Keith Richards.

There's a great article on a new treatment for PTSD. This poor Seal Team Guy has been experiencing all sorts of horrible PTSD, causing all sorts of horrible problems. He walked in, had a treatment, and walked out, happier than he had been since before joining the service. There are variations of this treatment, but it's basically shooting very minor electricity at your brain, via a small wand the doc holds. You are not physically touched, and there's a small noise inside. Some people don't get full relief immediately. One variation is in use, although who knows if insurance covers it. The name contains 'transcranial'. I can remember this, but have no idea what I had for breakfast. Or lunch. Or where my keys went. Did I remember to use protection? Will prayer be needed?

The funny thing is that the Seal described some of his major symptoms and I joked that after seeing the list, I must have PTSD. Somebody close, who shall remain nameless (but married me) looked at me as if I were a complete idiot (a look I see often) and said, "Duh - you scream PTSD. Sometimes literally."

Well gee, it would've been nice if at least one of 15 therapists told me this, before they all committed suicide.

• BULLETIN: The Canadian Winter Festival was cancelled due to heavy snowfall.
• The Pennsylvania Winter Festival was cancelled due to cold weather.

It was so cold yesterday...

HOW COLD WAS IT?

It was so cold, I had to run my hands under cold water to warm them up.

It was 7 degrees outside.

The poor dog, who came from down south, has never even heard of this temperature before. She never saw snow til recently. She wants to go back.

It got better later, when it finally hit 13 degrees.

It's not a climate - it's a plague.

• Today I beheld a tool that looked like a small chainsaw that goes on a pole. It looked like it might be fun at parties.
• At least it didn't take up more room than the hedge trimmer in the bathroom.

Dear lefty:

• Quinn Quinones, from Queensland, asks our opinion on climate change.
• Dear Quality: are you out of vegan shampoo again?

Arizona state Representative Gail Griffin(R) proposed a bill to require all computers sold in the state be locked from accessing porn. Users would pay a $20 fee to unlock it, which would go toward The Wall.

• I think the technical term for this is Blithering Idiot
• You cannot regulate access to porn anyway - it's impossible. Too many varied sources, with new ones popping up all the time. This is why filters don't work well.
• I believe regulation of access by the state is a 1st Amendment issue.
• If you build your own computer, will each piece be taxed? Will your video card be taxed more because it allows you to SEE porn? Will your mouse be protected from porn too?

I LIVE IN THE INDIGNATION

I often hear what my wife's watching on tv when I'm in the next room.
Most of the neighborhood can hear what my wife's watching on tv.
The 'news' provided some sickening material recently...  it was largely about viral videos. There is one about a high school kid smirking at an Indian guy and another about a large child dancing shirtless in a stadium.

I'm looking at this from as for above as I can... we are a nation of morons. I've said it before. Frequently. We're fiddling while the country burns. Think about it - we're absolutely fascinated by online videos, to the point it makes the nightly news. This also says something about the news. We are sitting wherever we sit, looking at a huge video site, picking out videos that amuse us. It's like a worldwide sport - all we're missing is Sports Hooligans rioting in the stands, although that would be a viral video too. Everyone's free to do what they want with their time, but we essentially watch Stupid TV to amuse ourselves. We have become fat and lazy, amused by video-lets. Does America riot when taxes are raised or levied? No, we're busy being hypnotized by YouTube, which is the next step from being hypnotized by the Boob Tube.  The people Up Top benefit from this. Less resistance to subjugating the Proles. Our tv's already watch us.

Having said that, YouTube can be an incredible asset: aside from entertainment value, the knowledge passing how-to videos are priceless. Never fixed a dryer before? There's a video for that. Oven's paint peeling? There's a video for that. Car making a noise like a pigeon being strangled? That one's about to be uploaded. Dads dancing, Guitar lessons, how to apply makeup for the cosmetically-impaired. How to dress like a ho and how this celebrity dresses like a ho. People hanging from very tall light poles, during a riot after a Philly team won a championship? It's all there. And viral.

Doggie Diary

Hi, diary, it's Penny.

After running away from bad people, I went to live with other English cockers in a southern state. Six months later, I got on this thing called a plane, which absolutely sucked (no treats) and went to my new home.

Day 1
The people are nice. I like my new house and yard.
It's cold here. Very cold.

Day 2
I really like my new mommy and daddy. They give me treats and rub my belly. I sleep in their bed. Sometimes I let them lay on their pillows with me.

My yard isn't as big as down south, but it's big enough.
There are many birds in my airspace and squirrels to chase.
There are many people walking by my house to bark at. Repeatedly and loudly.
But it's gray. Always. And still cold.

Day 3
Mommy gave me this thing called whipped cream, which I ate from her cup. I love her.
It rained today.  I remember sun.

Day 4
Dad has a temper, but he rubs my belly a lot. I curl up on his lap and he calls me his spaniel seatbelt.
There's some white, cold stuff coming from the sky. I've never seen it before. It's disgusting. And the sky is still gray.

Day 5
It was sunny!!! Yay!!! From 7:45 to 7:46.
I got chicken for breakfast. It was good. I want more.
It's cold and gray, but at least it's not snowing.



I love my parents, but somebody please get me out of here!
I can take them down south, where it's nice.
Dad's right when he says it's not a climate - it's a plague.

Here I am, helping fold the laundry