Dear Mr. Hyundai

Good day, Sir.

I did quite a bit of research before I purchased my Hyundai Sonata.  The cars constantly come up at the top of Consumer Reports' reports and I hear nothing but good things from owners.

Before my Sonata, I owned nothing but big cars.   Really big cars.  Cars of the class Land Yacht.  Vehicles that had different area codes in the front and rear seats.   Purchasing a Sonata was tacit admission that I could no longer afford land yachts.

The joke, of course, was on me.  My Lincoln got seventeen miles per gallon.  My Sonata gets eighteen to twenty-four (with two less cylinders).

But don't take this as a shot at Hyundai.  My Sonata, purchased as a three year old vehicle, has started every morning and has never failed me (which is more than I can say for the ancient Town Car).

The real shocker came when it was time to purchase new tires.  Why a three year old car needs new tires is beyond the scope of this post.

So tell me:  whose brilliant idea was it to put performance tires on a Hyundai?  Why does a sedan require two-hundred-dollar tires?  Does it have something to do with those silly ethnic wheels?


I have been putting large, round rubber tires on cars since I was sixteen.  Not even the largest and most expensive luxury tire has ever approached this ridiculous price point.  Why?

Today I took the car in for inspection and learned another Interesting Fact<tm>: apparently the same joker who selected the tires had a hand in selecting and placing the bulbs.  Two repair stations told me to take the car to a dealer to have the bulbs replaced; it was too difficult for them.  The inspection station had no trouble at all, in fact, charging me the better part of one hundred dollars to do the job.

I have been replacing bulbs since before I could drive.  Somebody over there at Hyundai is having the last laugh on owners in spectacular fashion.

Are your tires and bulbs made of Unobtanium?  Do you get a kickback from tire manufacturers?  I do not drive a hot rod.  In fact, it's more of a boring family sedan on purpose.  I was hoping to avoid this nonsense....

I will continue to insist that Hyundai makes good, solid cars, adding that a serious investment program (or retirement fund) is required for tire and bulb replacement.

Sincerely,

leftystrat
from the blogosphere

The Law of Inverse Proportions [as Applied to Rubber]

In music, it is widely known that volume is inversely proportional to talent.

In women's clothing, the less material used, the higher the cost.

This morning, we came across a similar law for cars: the less actual rubber in a tire, the more expensive it is.

You might remember that I have exclusively owned land yachts; cars that have different area codes in the front and rear seats.  These automobiles had humongous tires.  If you stacked up the tires, you could comfortably fit a small family in them, standing up.

Since the money I earn goes to medical costs and taxes, we had no choice but to bite the bullet and purchase an almost new car.  A small(er) car.  Some would call it a mid-size sedan.  Some would call it a full-size car.  I call it a Hyundai Sonata (as in Sonata big car).

The first thing I noticed when I saw the car was that it had ethnic wheels.   This is a recent phenomenon, wherein the wheel is huge and the tire small.  If the owner is particularly nuts, the wheels appear to spin backwards.  If other drivers are particularly intoxicated, the wheels all spin in different directions anyway.

Possibly as a result of ethnic wheels, the ride is bumpy as hell.  Never mind that I'm used to humongous eight-cylinder American cars.

Insult was added to injury this morning, as my wife went to get new tires.  She had done some research and budgeted a certain amount, only to discover that these tires are performance tires. 

Everybody say it at the same time:  "Performance tires on a Hyundai?" 

That's what my wife said.  That's what I said.  The mechanic just shook his head, sadly bemused.

Six to nine hundred dollars for tires?

Why does a six-cylinder sedan that can't best twenty-two miles per gallon require performance tires?  Whatever happened to couch tires?  Bloated tires?  Running over speed bumps and small cars without knowing it tires?


I haven't even mentioned that someone sideswiped my wife and ran her off the road the other day.

This is not looking like a good week.