Lighthouses Don't Fly

The above is an answer to people who say the Rendlesham ufo incident was just people seeing a lighthouse. This is per someone involved.



New York City is considering its own digital currency.
Unfortunately your purchases will be limited to $16 because $32 is too much to spend and the local government wants to protect you from it.



Speaking of Rendlesham, I just heard (KGRA) a show called Phenomenon Radio. John Burroughs was one of the military people who went outside the base and saw the UFO, 2 nights in a row, in December 1980.

Right after the sighting, he was diagnosed with health problems (atrial fibrillation, mitral valve prolapse, cataract). He got sick and was fixed to some degree. Years later, he got sick again, with congestive heart failure. The doctor was confused about what was happening and said it would be helpful to see his medical records from the Air Force.

When they tried to get the records from the VA, they were told no - the records were classified. They could have the records from before and after Rendlesham, but not during.

Burroughs went to his senator, John Kyle, to help get the records. He was told that Burroughs was not in the Air Force during those years. The VA lied to a senator. Burrows has paperwork and pay records for the time he 'wasn't in the Air Force.' (DD214 form, which the Air Force tried to alter).

Burrows went to long time senator John McCain, whose office did a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request for the records. It went unanswered. They could not get any information to show he was in the Air Force at that time.

Some information was released; enough to allow John to get surgery.
Burrows called the VA and was told he was being lied to - there was plenty of paperwork on him being in the Air Force during those years.

Burroughs' lawyer said he wasn't going to take the case because it looked like the VA was going to settle with him. Cheryl Bennett, of McCain's office, continued to fight, providing all sorts of documentation that he was injured at Rendlesham, during a ufo sighting. The records were finally sent to McCain's office, admitting that he was in the Air Force at that time.

Eventually the VA admitted he was at Rendlesham, and that the health issues were caused by exposure to a UFO.  Burroughs was given full medical disability.

DISCLOSURE! The government just acknowledged the presence of UFOs.

• I don't know what to do, but I need to not get it done in a hurry.

All this nonsense about the Royal Family has produced some openings.
I was offered a spot and I get to choose my title.
I'm going with what everybody calls me anyway: Royal Asshole

• I think the president unilaterally deciding to surgically bomb Iran was a good thing. By doing this, he drastically reduced the number of assholes involved in the decision.

Charmin has a 'pooptime robot' that will bring you a new toilet paper roll.
The next version will make a reservation for a seat, set your phone to Do Not Disturb, and warm the seat for you.


No way the cops are using SiriusXM to find criminals.
They're using SiriusXM Guardian.
This On-Star-like service tracks you and can give your info to police.
Rip this shit out of your car, along with any other connected feature.


Apple's scanning iCloud photos for child abuse images.
Yay - fighting child abuse is great!
Uh-oh.. Apple is looking at your pictures. Child abuse now. What's next?
Get yer frickin pictures out of iCloud. Look for a non-cloud solution, or something encrypted that the host can't see.


Google voice assistant acquires an 'undo' command.
Because you're upset that everything you say is listened to by Google, Google gives you an unrelated command to erase something you just said. So considerate and responsive.


Ring employees have been fired for 'improperly accessing Ring users' video data.'  Translated, this means they watched your videos. Note that this is not ONE employee.

[TOLD YOU SO graphic] 
Hey, I can see who's at my door!  
Wait - the police are endorsing these and want my video? 
Ring employees watch my video?



Alex Trebek has his farewell speech planned. There is no word on when he will give it. He's been fighting stage 4 pancreatic cancer since March 2019 and has shared the news with his fans.

Stop for a second and think about what it must be like, choosing to work under a death sentence.

“People all over America and abroad have decided they want to let me know now, while I'm alive, about the impact that I've been having on their existence," he said. 

This is your several-times-a-year reminder to appreciate and cherish the important people in your life. Resolve your differences, because you never know when you won't see them again. Tell people you appreciate them and what they do.



Cosmologists have no idea why the universe seems to be expanding more rapidly than expected.

They should've ask me: it's because the universe is in a hurry to get away from Earth.



A Pentagon official told Newsweek, off the record, than an Iranian anti-aircraft missile shot down the Ukranian 737-800 over Iran by mistake.

They thought it was a 737 MAX and didn't want it crashing into a school.

Speaking of which, the BBC quotes a worker as saying the plane was 'designed by clowns'

Internal emails from Boeing were released.
"Would you put your family on a Max simulator trained aircraft? I wouldn't."

Remember this next time you send email at work. Everything you type can be seen and can be released to the public.

I’m sick of hearing how we celebrities are in some kind of bubble and we don’t understand real life. When I’m out in public and people approach me, I’m always interested in what they have to say to my security detail.        - Pat Sajak

• I'm just not ready for this. "Ordinary Man" from Ozzy, featuring Elton John.
• Yes, anything is better than Cardi B, but still....

If you're still using Win 7 for some reason, this is what happens when support ends (1/14). Hint: there are other operating systems. Avoid Win 10 like the plague.





Dear lefty

• How is 2020 for you so far?
• Well, 18 days into it and nobody died, so I've got that going for me.

Today I identify as  an illegal incandescent bulb. I'm a outlaw.



Heroes of the Stupid

A state senator from Vermont introduced a new bill that would ban cellphone use by anyone under 21.  "Young people are too immature to use cellphones."
Don't stop at 21.


Army veteran has prosthetic legs repossessed after VA refuses to pay for them.
Who thought there would be negative press about this?


Not all queer people believe in astrology — and those who don't often feel alienated from the LGBTQ+ community at large. Read the author's name.

Confuse an Elephant

Google 'really sorry' for humans listening to your conversations. Stopped program. Started it again. Feel safer now?

Among the top 10 most surveilled cities in the world, are 8 in China, plus London and Atlanta, GA. This is based on the number of CCTV cameras per 1,000 people.

Group sex app leaks locations, pics and personal details. Identifies users in White House and Supreme Court   Data leaks are nothing to laugh at. Ok, maybe just this one time....

Windows 10 is now running on over 900 million devices.
... They know this because your pc phones home to Microsoft.




Dear lefty

• You sound... less miserable today
• Not anymore

I love my wife, for so many reasons. Today it's because she talks to all of my relatives. If it weren't for her, I'd have to talk to all of my relatives. Hats off to Mrs lefty! She's like a human firewall.



Today I identify as a writer of children's books. F-cking ankle biters.

• "The meek shall inherit the earth - a 6 foot plot above them." - Robert A. Heinlein

Robert F Kennedy, Jr, has been diligently researching his father's murder.
His claim is security guard Cesar Eugene Thane killed his father, then the CIA led the coverup. The theory was made public on the day Thane died in the Philippines.

We know Sirhan was a Manchurian Candidate, programmed to kill, but have no recollection of it. There were more shots than his his small gun could produce, evidence removed, and shots from the rear. Even a Manchurian Candidate cannot shoot from the front and the rear at the same time.

Best of luck, RFK Jr. You're among the bravest people on the planet (or not wired right); being a Kennedy and researching a Kennedy's death.

My $0.02?  Cesar may have pulled the trigger, but it certainly wasn't his idea. Who is powerful enough to produce a mind-controlled assassin? Definitely the CIA, possibly others. If the CIA wasn't the originating organization, who ordered them to do it? Like his brother, RFK pissed off a lot of powerful people and organizations.

Now imagine you live in a country where very powerful interests can get a very powerful government agency to kill the president of the United States and his brother, a potential democratic candidate for president. Oh wait, you don't have to imagine it.  Stop and think about this for a minute, whether or not you liked the Kennedys...

• British Muslims have run the first ever pride festival.
• It starts on a rooftop and ends on the pavement.

By now, just about everybody on the planet has a reality show. We need to take the next step and I'm here to spark things. We'll call it Tase! The idea is to tune in and watch your favorite celebrities tazed on national tv. The initial promotion is that it's almost a reality show. The back side is that people call in and bid for their favorite celebs to be tazed, with all the profits going to charity. We can have all the rabble who love reality shows, with base human animalism plus charity. It has all the elements. We'll add some attractive models, a decorator mattress for the celebrities to fall on after they get tazed. We'll need a Tazemaster... Someone suggested Judge Judy, but she's the first one to get tazed. That's my only ask.

Speaking of Useless TV, there is an upcoming re-do of Walker, Texas Ranger.
...again, not an original idea in all of Hollywood.

• It's so weird having a dog who just behaves like a dog. We're pretty happy that, although she loves people food, she doesn't try to steal it.
• Until last night, when she cleaned up a plate of cheesecake and ran.

No thank you, I'd rather  watch every Adam Sandler movie in chronological order.

• Multiple suicides on aircraft carrier George H.W. Bush leads to investigation...
• several in the Navy said something bad about Hillary
• the Navy is terrified that Bush will come back from the grave to get them
• disagreement over the word 'seamen'

Sometimes it's almost impossible to get a word with my wife, and it's not because we're married. She's busy (although I'm never sure with what, but she assures me she's busy, and that's good enough for me). Being the clever sort, I discovered a way to make contact every time, without fail:  announce I'm going to be incommunicado, go into my office, and close the door.

This will immediately cause some sort of emergency that can only be solved by knocking on the door or standing there, waving (non-preferred) body parts, as if I can interpret what that means. When I point to the phone I'm using for a call, the gesticulation gets wilder... unfortunately I still can't interpret whatever the waving is about. When it finally sets in that I can't understand the perfectly understandable arm and leg spasms, I will be left alone. Unfortunately this will only last 60 seconds, at which time I'm presented with a note. "I'm going out front to pull weeds."

THIS is why you had to do the Interruption Dance while I was trying to hear the phone conversation?

Well, I had to let you know.

She goes to weed, I get back to my phone conversation. At this point, it's less a conversation than a monologue, as only the other person is speaking.

VOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!
That's the sound of weeding. With some sort of nuclear-powered weeder that requires a small brigade of Marines to deliver and install. 

Thank heavens.. the weeder stopped. I can't even hear the Marines packing the beast up. 30 seconds later, she's back and gesticulating. Again.

What is it THIS time?

I just wanted to know.

YES?

Did I disturb you?

Only when you stand near me or are within 20' of the house.

Ok, I'll be quiet.

Bless you, Dear.

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG
OOPS, sorry. I forgot you were doing something important and was playing with my Barbie Home Jackhammer Kit.

Do you see this phone?

Yes, you're using it for something important.

Do you think you can not use construction equipment for just a few minutes longer?

I'm sorry.

Just remember, this is important.

Ok.

BANGCRASHBANGCRASH SHATTER.

JESUS FC, WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? Bowling with hammers? Tuba tuning?

Well, I was trying to be quiet since you're busy on an important call. I was being very careful and I fell into the pile of old glass decanters your dead relatives gave you in the will.

Good thing you were being quiet. I can't imagine what it would sound like if you weren't.

I promise I won't bother you again. I'll sit on the couch.

Thank you.

WELL WE'RE MOVIN ON UP... TO THE EAST SIDE... TO A DEE-LUX APARTMENT.. IN THE SKYYYYYY

What is that horrible rumble? Did you forget I was on the phone?

Well, I couldn't hear the tv, so I had to turn it up. I can't watch it if I can't hear it.

The city has men outside with sound meters, deciding whether it's noisier at the airport or here. My money's on here. Speaking of my money, may I finish this call?

Sure. I'm sorry. I just wanted to watch tv. I wasn't bothering you. I didn't knock on the door or make hand signals.

I'll get out the Cone of Silence so I can only hear the phone.

CLICK TAP BOOM BOOM CRASH CLICK TAP BOOM BOOM SNAKE NOISE.

I need to go somewhere quiet, like Syria.

Oh, sorry, was I disturbing you? I was just testing out my collection of high volume percussion instruments.

You don't by chance still have your Barbie Home Demolition Kit, do you?

No, I left that in the bulldozer.

Barbie Home Chemistry Explosive Kit?

Haven't seen that in a while.

Barbie Home Dent Hammering Kit?

Thanks for reminding me - I need to work on the car.

No you don't. Will you be quiet?

I promise.

Not a peep?

Nothing.

Thank you.
[finish call]
Dear, where are you? Honey? Darling? Coordinator of Destruction?
[silence]
What's that.. a note...

Dear lefty. You said not to disturb you, so I went to visit my cousins, 3 hours away. I know you wanted to hang out, but I figured you wouldn't mind and I didn't want to disturb you. See you in a few days.

And that's how I get 5 minutes with my wife.




Heroes of the Stupid

A Florida woman was cited after biting a truck stop camel's genitals.
so many questions, so little time....

We're deploying troops to Saudi Arabia. That's stupid from top to bottom.



SJW Follies

James Flynn wrote a book called "In Defense of Free Speech: The University as Censor."  The book has been banned.

Federal judges at the US Court of Appeals went against the FCC:

"did not adequately consider the effect its sweeping rule changes will have on ownership of broadcast media by women and racial minorities."

The decision has no bearing on the fact the the FCC ceased doing anything useful many years ago.

we paid HOW MUCH for this course?