It's Not Polite to say Coccyx in Church

To my readers:
A very happy new year to you and yours.
To us and ours too. 2019 has been total crap and the faster gone, the better.

You know who you are: we miss you every day.



seen on twitter:

Just witnessed an airport proposal. She did not say yes.  [@wleaming]

Christmas came early for that guy. He really dodged a bullet there. [@JesseKellyDC]

After Mozilla got word that Avira and AVG Firefox extensions ate all your data, they pulled them. They're now back, after the extensions reduced the amount of tracking data being sent to their servers.    Seriously?

• Flying Robot Vacuum. If this ain't the Fifth Horseman....

Dear lefty

• What is your New Years resolution?
• To stop answering stupid questions.

Yeah, I discover things really late..
Go to your phone's app store and download some sort of online radio listening app. You may be surprised at what you can listen to... I did a search yesterday and came up with a lot of interesting UK radio; comedy and rock. There's sports, xmas stations, 50s music, and sports. It's also a great way to remember which musicians died recently. The foreign stations are very interesting, in that you can't understand what they're saying. This is just like the TOP HITS stations in the US! If you can't find something interesting, you're not hitting PAGE DOWN enough.

Speaking of dead musicians, "    ,    , and Palmer" won't be touring. Palmer is holed up in a steel room (he thinks) Death can't get into.

50% of the Beatles won't be touring, as will 50% of the Monkees. I wonder if the ones who died are getting together in the afterlife. John Lennon, George Harrison, Davy Jones, and Peter Tork. They can call themselves John, George, Davy, and Peter, singing songs about the live ones who left them but are eventually joining the group. The dead ones are occasionally joined by the 5th Beatle, producer George Martin, and the 6th Beatle, Billy Preston.

If Danny Gatton isn't dead, he'll be shocked that all of his guitars are for sale.

Kurt Cobain remains dead, but he has an excuse. Have you ever seen his wife?

Only 25% down is Led Zeppelin, however the one causing all the trouble is an alive one.

Badfinger has not one original member left, sorta. The guitar player joined after the first album came out, so he didn't play on it. He counts as the only one not dead (and is reported to be hiding out with Palmer).

It's a bad time for Jimi Hendrix, but he is more prolific dead than any time he was alive. His sister is making a ton of money, releasing all sorts of stuff and putting his likeness on barstools.

Nobody from Deep Purple is dead, but the members change monthly, so it's difficult to tell.

Zappa remains wherever Zappa went after he left, but his progeny, Dweezil, tours the country, playing his music. Dweezil is probably the only one who can play Frank's music.

The Allman Brothers are now Brothers of the Grave, with exactly two original member above ground. There's Jaimoe, and sometimes I wonder if he knows he's still alive. I watched him shining his cymbals once, during a song. And there's Dickie Betts, recovering from a near death involving falling off something (or someone). There were a lot of Allman Brothers, hence a lot of different deaths: cycle, tree, shotgun, and cancer. Strangely enough, not from drugs.

Chicago never recovered from the death of Terry Kath (guitar/vocals). No one else has died, except their career.

The three Kings of the blues have gone underground: B.B., Freddie, and Albert.

The entire ELO band disappeared, so it's possible they're dead. They were all replaced by Jeff Lynne, the voice of ELO.

Joe Cocker is no longer Feelin Alright.

As for the Winters, remember that Edgar is the living one and Johnny has departed. Sometimes Johnny looked dead long before he died.

Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead) has flown the coop. The only good news is that supplies of JD and meth have returned to their former numbers.

Slade is still on the road. Nobody died - the members just quit at random times.

Robert Palmer no longer sneaks Sally through the alley

Ritchie Hayward and Paul Barerre's departures have gutted Little Feat.

The Turtles (Happy Together) are alive and touring, as part of retro package tours. I don't think anyone died, or at least Volman and Kaylan haven't. Cancer tried to get Volman, but he won.

I need a hobby.

• Why do cats always land on their feet?

Conversations with the pharmacy

Hi, it's lefty. I need a refill on #125843.
Yes, we can fill that in 2 weeks.
Two weeks?
Yes, 2 weeks. The birth control, right?
I can assure you, nobody in the house, including the dog, takes birth control. Do I sound like I take birth control?
Oh. I musta got that number wrong.

You musta.

• Faceyspaces will stop mining contacts with your 2FA number.
• No they won't.

I miss the Old Days<tm>.
On New Years Eve, we'd sit around, complain that the fireworks displays were too crowded, then complain about the idiotic New Years shows, then ask "They call this shit music?" We'd play Flip the Nephew to figure out which show to watch the ball drop, talk about how much we hated last year, and go back to shooting up.

Come to think of it, just like every year!

• Just when you thought the NSA spy satellites were new: giant surveillance balloons. 2020 will bring us Giant Flying Octopusses with Telescopes. 

Today I identify as  an xmas tree, out on the curb

• If I played football, my position would obviously be offensive lineman. Or offensive quarterback. Maybe offensive coach.

No maudlin, semi-serious, sardonic, sarcastic blog would be complete without a list of notable deaths in 2019.

• Danny Aiello, 86
• Carol Channing
• Norman Orentreich, 96, "the father of modern hair transplantation"
• Peter Tork [Thorkelson], 77, complications of cancer
• Hal Blaine [Harold Belsky], 90, session drummer (The Wrecking Crew)
• Doris Day [Doris Kappelhoff], 97, pneumonia
• Dr. John [Malcolm John Rebennack], 77, no longer in the Right Place, Wrong Time
• Rip Torn [Elmore Raul Torn, Jr], 88 [not Rip Taylor]
• Peter Fonda, 79
• Valeria Harper, 80, cancer
• Rik Ocasek [Richard Otcasek], 75
• [Peter] Ginger Baker, 80, killed by life
• Rip Taylor, 88, [not Rip Torn]
• Marie Fredriksson, 61
• Dominick Arena, arrested Ted Kennedy after Chappaquiddick
• Rene Auberjonois, famous for nobody being able to spell his name, actor
• Paul Barrere - Little Feat guitar and vocals
• Tim Conway - master comic actor
• Dick Dale - king of surf guitar
• Daryl Dragon - The Captain, without Tenille
• Arte Johnson - Laugh In
• Aleksei Leonov - first person to walk in space
• Peggy Lipton - Mod Squad
• Eddie Money [Edward Mahoney], 70, esophageal cancer
• Art Neville - Neville Brothers keyboardist, vocalist
• Beverly Owen - Marilyn, The Munsters
• Leon Redbone - guitarist
• Charles Sanna - invented Swiss Miss Cocoa
• Carroll Spinney - Big Bird from Sesame Street
• Gerry Stickells - road manager for Jimi Hendrix, among others
• Nathaniel Taylor - Rollo on Sanford and Son
• Lorraine Warren - paranormal investigator, inspiration for the short ghostbuster in Poltergiest
• Bob Einstein - was Super Dave

There's a theme here. Guess what it is.....

Bored?

Check out Death List

Celebrity Death Pool

I really appreciate my existing readers plus the new ones from other countries.
If you're late to the party, this blog has no actual purpose, other than to amuse people and document the owner's slow descent into madness.

He's Putting a Colonoscope Up That Ferrari

Just a reminder that the new Faceyspaces facial recognition feature is turned on by default. Because it's urgent that FB get your facial metrics. In addition, this will help you get tagged in photos (and filed appropriately).

• Today's Fast Fact: voting is compulsory in Australia.
• Voting is a moral imperative in America.  If it were compulsory, we'd see even less voters.

Major difficulties are becoming public at Apple headquarters in Cupertino, CA. Because of all the glass, people are calling 911 after walking into it and injuring themselves. Only the best and brightest for Apple.

• Good thing we have the internet. I saw a commercial with the phrase "dilly dilly" in it. How stupid, I thought, and went to look it up. To my surprise, it came from a Superbowl ad for Budweiser. Yeah, there's no way I would know that otherwise. Not many 'experts' can agree on what it means, but apparently it took flight after the commercial aired. Fascinating, in that it fascinates people. We are an incredibly complex and undeniably stupid bunch.

I mentioned Ryan Seacrest being among the throngs of men accused of sexual harassment. Headlines are starting to appear about how he is 'fighting for his life'. I thought the guy had a near-fatal injury... no... he is just fighting his accuser. Hollywood - always in search of a new low.

And speaking of new lows, the Oscar ratings took a nosedive. It could have been an all time low. And who deserves it more than a bunch of back-slapping celebrities, who use any old award show as a platform for their politics and causes.

Jimmy Kimmel didn't even bother being allegedly funny: he advocated gun control and, shockingly, bashed Trump and Pence. 

• Speaking of gun control, Florida rejected a ban on assault weapons, favoring a vote to arm teachers. This might be the first thing to make sense out of Florida in ages.
• NRA membership is going through the roof.

Three daycare workers have admitted to giving children gummy bears laced with melatonin to get them calmed down for nappytime. The teachers were arrested. Asked for comment, the children yawned. Melatonin is pretty harmless, but still... it doesn't compare to my idea of valium lollipops.

Meanwhile Back in Rome...

• Father Luca Morini is on trial for allegations of blackmail, embezzlement, and other crimes. This shouldn't surprise anyone. The new and more fun item is that Francesco Mangiacapra, a male escort, has been providing services to Father Morini, who falsely presented himself as a judge. If the father's belief system is even a little bit true, I hope he comes to understand the power of the judge he's going to meet.  When Mangiacapra (don't these  people have any Smiths?), known to friends as Bob, found out the father's true identity, he questioned the financial source for all the lavish dinners and expensive gifts and reported Morini to his diocese. The diocese lept to inaction, awakening only after the case was shown on tv. The bishop suspended him and imprisoned him in his 200,000 lira house, built specially for him, with bills and maid included.
• This story has all the elements of a great book: blackmail, homosexual priests, lavish lifestyle, cocaine, orgies, and death threats. 
• The only honest man in all of this is a male escort. There has to be a biblical lesson here. This will hopefully see prosecution. The top levels of the Catholic Church, along with the pedophile priests, are the largest international criminal gang in the world.

The presidential race in 2020 is heating up, first with Trump's announcement that he will be running. Maxine Waters has just announced that if Democrats win back the House in 2018, she promises financial reparations for black Americans. Is this woman possessed by some insane ghost? Has she missed her meds for a few years?  She better be paying for this personally.

Foreign Aid

• For more years than I've been on the planet, there have been appeals and television commercials for money for starving children in Africa and elsewhere. Why is it that, despite all the money given, children are still starving? We send federal aid in addition to private donations.
• I just saw a commercial asking for aid for poor Jews in Israel. I am stunned. 
• According to an expert on Israel's defense, the defense budget is $15 billion.  The Israeli taxpayers pick up 70% of the tab. Defense Ministry income makes up 9%. The other 21% comes from you and me, fellow American taxpayer, to the tune of approximately $3.15 billion. Most of the aid comes as military equipment, not cash. This makes perfect sense, as the Military Industrial Complex gets a cut before the taxes stolen from the taxpayers go to a different country. We just signed an agreement for $38 billion over ten years.
• I don't have any means to figure out the financial demographics of my readers, and I don't care (although Google knows). We are barely getting by.  My money is better in my pocket than in the government's, then in foreign countries' pockets. Imagine what you could do with this money... save, invest, treat the family to something nice, pay off bills. Instead we give it to other countries. Is this ok by you?  We as a country cannot afford healthcare, yet billions hemorrhage out of the country every year.
• If you believe in foreign aid, send the money yourself. It's your money - do what you want with it. I never decided or ok'd or voted for my money going out of the country (or to most of what happens in the country).
• Which Congresspersons take the most money from pro-Israel PACs? An estimate of total aid to Israel - $138 billion. The Israeli-Palestine conflict has cost American taxpayers $3 trillion. I am not picking on Israel specifically - this is just the most egregious example of our money being squandered without really knowing it. Isn't it about time to keep our money at home, where it belongs, along with our military?
• If the American taxpayer had any real idea of what is being taken and where it goes, there would be rioting in the streets. After we turned the Kardashians off and finished our beers.

If you have been to Applebee's this year, look over your card's transactions. Point of Sale malware was discovered mid February.  Most US restaurants were hit, but if you paid online or using self-pay tabletop devices, you're ok. Look over your transactions anyway - it's good practice.

• Even more to look forward to in England: a Member of Parliament thinks wolf-whistling, catcalling and unwanted attention on public transportation should be reportable as hate crimes. Be careful letting them know how you feel, lest you be reported for a hate crime.

Had to pick up some meds at the local pharmacy. Mrs lefty says some of the people there piss her off. Really? I get great service there. Oh well... Walking up to the counter, the nice lady asked for my name. I gave it to her, then mentioned Mrs lefty too. She said ok.  She rang me up and gave me a total. Once again, I asked for meds for Mrs lefty too.

She stood there a second too long. I could see a lone wheel turning. I could smell the winter fragrance of twigs burning, along with the plastic bags from the leaves. She probably has some sort of illness from too much plastic bag burning. Finally it hit her, in Extra Slow Motion, that there were two customers sharing a last name. She pulled up the bag, stopped again, and said there were more. At least we were moving forward, I thought to myself. Finally I managed to pay and  escape the place. I suspect her boss was monitoring her performance... I couldn't see him but I heard anguished cries from the back room.

When you send an email with two questions, only the first one will be answered. It's the rules and I didn't make them. When you call someone, they're not really listening after Hello.  Try this: next time you call someone, after they answer, say, "I'm going to murder your pets Hi Bob, how's it going?" Next time at the pharmacy, I'll say to her, "Hey, those are some prodigious tits Can I have meds for the leftystrats, please?"

Around the Dial

things heard on tv or radio

• "...he believes that there's a sub-atomic particle, not yet discovered by science, called the pyrotron, that crashes into another particle", causing spontaneous human combustion.
• Is that motorcycle helmet New Zealand/Australia certified?
• "Oh no" duhhh duhhhh - a 'special' dog mascot for a UK insurer
• yur INE als (urinals)

Does advertising reflect reality? Is it manipulated? Is there an agenda besides selling you things? 

I ask because I'm starting to see mixed-race relationships on commercials. This is an interesting item to me because it's never been on tv. It is also antagonizing to some of the alt-right, who see it as an agenda. If the alt-right is getting itself into a tizzy over this, they better stay away from UK tv, where it's absolutely normal. Their heads will explode when they observe the black and white lesbian couple selling whatever they're selling. One was in the bath and the other was sitting on the toilet, clothed. It's amusing to watch groups lose their Stuff over things like this.

What would be interesting to me is UK advertisers using attractive women to sell something. They certainly live up to their stereotype.

• It's not that I don't trust manufacturers and users, but I don't trust manufacturers and users. I've written of flaws that allow Bad People to access things like pacemakers. Here's a related matter: researchers found vulnerabilities in a machine used to access and adjust pacemakers. Apparently the software used to run it is full of holes. The manufacturer was notified, and took its time in fixing the flaws. Meanwhile the machines were vulnerable, hence the pacemakers too.  Now apply this to The Cloud and Internet of Things. This is the future of security.

Best Headline:

Zebra hit, killed by car near Ostrich Festival

• Ask yourself this question: does the world need Neil Diamond tribute bands?

The staff and hopefully readership of ThermionicEmissions would like to thank the SE PA weather forecasters for another dead-accurate feat of prognostication. The rumblings started early this time. Talk was over 6" at least. Philadelphia closed schools a day in advance and went to Emergency Mode, where all cars had to be removed from the street on Snow Emergency Routes. This is a very important step for Philadelphia, as it needs to keep routes unobstructed for cleaning and emergency traffic. Also, the Parking Authority loads up on fines and towing fees. The store shelves were picked clean and there were lines of 13 per lane. Full Panic<tm> was in effect.

The forecasts stated that the snow would start the night before. In an exceedingly rare occurrence, they were correct. By the next morning, it was coming down hard. The flakes were huge and wet, adding up to 2" per hour, which is really A Lot Of Snow. After getting the mail, I looked like half a snowman. Marshall, being black, looked like the Abominable Snow Span.

The snow continued for a while, stopping just short of their forecast of 12" or more. And when I say just short, I mean about 2-3" total.

On one hand, we're all glad this wasn't worse. Extricating the cars will be less heart attack inducing (remember - the highest incidence of heart attacks is after shoveling, so don't).

On the other hand, most women will tell you 2-3" ain't 12", with a far-away look in their eyes.

On the third hand, if the local weather forecasters said it will be light sometime in the next 24 hours, I wouldn't put money on it.

You Call That Insurance?

They say to never blog while pissed off but I don't care. I don't even know who They are anyway.

I got a letter from my pharmacy insurer last week. Note that this used to be covered under insurance. The letter stated that I have to use a certain pharmacy or mail order or pay for it myself. My 'insurance' went into effect on the first of the year, so why wait thirty days to send me notice?

My benefits admin was very pleasant and called the pharmacy insurer with me. They kindly told me exactly what the letter said. I told them I support a local pharmacy, as I have for the past twenty years. Tough shit - you use THIS pharmacy or we don't pay.  Ooh, I forgot to mention that the pharmacy insurer has a two part name, the second part being the pharmacy I must use. Nothing fishy there.

I've flippin HAD IT.
(don't blog when pissed off)

My first effort against this travesty called insurance was to contact my congressman. He greatly sympathized with my plight and promised to vote to repeal Obamacare as soon as possible. For some reason, I did not feel helped.


I PROMISE YOU CAN KEEP YOUR DOCTOR

I am trying my best to state facts and not call people names; it's juvenile and counterproductive. (Even though I feel juvenile and want to release a fusillade of epithets in their general direction.) The fact is that the President and every Congressman who voted for this travesty should be thrown out on their asses. Better yet, they should have to USE Obamacare. A special version of Obamacare that involves $500 per week premiums and a $20,000 deductible. Let them live like the proles.

This alleged insurance is a scam, benefiting lower income folks, insurance companies and of course, Big Pharma<tm>. It is not my intention to offend any of you who fall into these categories - there are better ways to do this. We were lied to from the beginning. It's not insurance if it doesn't start paying until you meet your yearly $5,000 deductible. Any idea what it would take to do that? Perhaps being run over by a bus, if you manage to live. This would create its own unique set of issues because after you've met your deductible, the copays start, not to mention the emergency room fee, the doctor fee, the diagnostic fee(s), and $40 copay per gourmet hospital meal (featuring fruit from a can, vegetables from a can, mashed potatoes from a can, and chicken from a can). We will simply pay for every medical expense, all year long, unless, heaven forbid, we reach our deductible. And all this is mandatory. I don't care what the Supreme Court says; they have no right to compel us to purchase something.

I was out of my mind with rage over insurance years back, with premiums that rose up to fifteen percent per year. That seems like Disneyland by comparison.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? (Animal House)
It's time for ACTION. Yes, action. Let's get ready for it.
The only problem is what kind of action.
To start, we need to lobby Congresspeople. Write letters and emails. Call and visit their office to talk to their staff (they have staff to help people with insurance and other things).
We're fighting Insurers. We're fighting entrenched government and Big Dollar Lobbies.
We need to take a stand and the time to do this is now. The republicans promise to repeal Obamacare but I believe some of them voted for it. It's all a show regardless. Neither party will help us.



Don't even get me started on dentists; which your plan may or may not cover.