The Emotional Evils of Ebay

I don't get out much, nor does my house's heater.
I don't even get online much, also like my house's heater.
Way back, I used to spend a lot of time on Ebay, to the point of having little brown boxes showing up at my door daily. If I didn't do a few transactions per week, Mr. Ebay would call me up to make sure I was feeling ok, much like Shoe Shopping Network and Mrs lefty. Eventually it occurred to me that I had to keep paying for these things and other things started happening, so the boxes stopped. No so Mrs lefty and the shoes.

Mrs lefty understands Ebay but doesn't spend a lot of time there. Being an occasionally nice husband, I occasionally point out a thing or two, like some amazing shoes and stuff she likes. If I were possessed of any live brain cells at all, I'd have stopped showing her additional ways of shopping a long time ago, but we know of my great love for shooting myself in the foot. In fact, at this point, I know of 437 ways to shoot myself in the foot, backed up by xrays. To make matters more evil, Ebay has this relative new thing... Ebay is on its way to becoming sentient, like Sky Corp, but more expensive. Wife was looking at shoes, just doing what came natural to her, and checking the Watch button on pairs she liked. She quickly learned the button can only store 500 pairs at a time, so she pared back. The thing that shows Ebay is almost alive is where Ebay watches the watch list. If the item (we'll call it shoes) doesn't look like it's going to sell, Ebay will email you that you can buy it for $20 off or some other discount. In my second shot at my foot that day, I told my wife the shoes were $20 off. BINGO - through the foot and the wallet at the same time!

I'm going to put a guitar on the Watch List, to see what happens.

If you think Ebay is bad, Amazon is already sentient. It knows exactly what you bought and can tell you what you're going to buy next. Every now and then I buy some baby toys or high heels to confuse it.



We're on the eve, or the beginning, of  a serious heatwave. No, not the song, the temperature. I hear it's going to feel like 100 on the beach in New Jersey tomorrow. Good thing we're not in New Jersey, eh? We got a break, in that it's only going to be 99 here. So many benefits of not living in New Jersey.  Due first to the Flying AIDS, and now to the temperature, we don't get out much anyway, so we're less likely to notice how hot it is, except when we lay under the car on in the driveway. To this day, we have no idea why. The only way we really know it's hot is when the news has wall to wall coverage of how HOT it's going to be. It's just like the 5 days' warning we're going to get 1/4" of snow in the winter. WARNING: we're going to have WEATHER tomorrow!

Another thing the Flying AIDS has killed is my only summer activities: guitar shows and electronics flea markets (hamfests). Thus far, they're all canceled. We know that less time out of the house is more time in the house, which means the strain goes back on Mrs lefty.  Even though places are opening up, they still require masks, and I refuse. They make my nose sweat and annoy me. So I'm still in the house, questioning my life choices.


Florida's a mess, but this time due to the Flying AIDS, which is on the rebound. They're thinking of locking down again. I say go ahead - the more of Florida locked down, the better off the rest of the states.

Speaking of Florida, a fatal motorcycle crash was listed as a Fying AIDS death. Asked to check again, the death was removed from the Flying AIDS list. Because sometimes it's hard to differentiate between a bloody motorcycle crash and a disease. They look so much alike. Looking further, other deaths that might be removed from the Flying AIDS list involved explosions, suicide by gun, leaping off buildings, and claiming to have evidence against the Clintons.

In today's Mask Follies, a woman urinated on the floor after refusing to don a mask at a Verizon store. Police had better investigate thoroughly; things are not always what they seem. Perhaps it was a statement on the quality of Verizon's service...


An NBC Sports jockey is filing suit, claiming discrimination because he's a heterosexual.


Hundreds of people tried to pull down the very large Columbus statue in Chicago. You know, these people can probably make good money in demolition. Why don't they get jobs?


In the midst of everyone having to bow down to Black Lives Matter, everything stopped while a black guy had to do an Apology Tour to be sorry to the Jews. That's power.


This is killing me... hundreds of advertisers are cutting spending on Faceyspaces. I almost feel guilty for laughing.*               *not really


A Kentucky couple was fitted with ankle monitors and placed on house arrest after the wife tested positive for coronavirus but refused to sign self-quarantine documents, according to reports. See what happens when being kept inside for too long stops drunk tractor racing?

not available on ebay

Captivity - Day 92 That's NOT My Keys

I'm listening to the scanner, because there's unrest in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
There's unrest all over the place, but at least Tulsa has an accent. Here's a report you probably don't hear often: "Man with an AR-15, white shirt. A group of them, all with body armor."  Now that's a parade!


Mrs lefty, knowing my abject hatred of those masks, bought me a... umm... thing... it's a black stretchy tubey thing that you put your head through. It sits on your neck and you raise it to cover your face and nose. It's black, so it's very nice and warm in the 85 degree weather. When I went to get our malts, other people were wearing their regular Stupid White Masks<tm>. I had my Stupid Black Mouth Rag. It occurred to me that the employees can no longer tell the customers from the robbers. Black Hoodies Matter. Dairy Queen was all set up for the Flying AIDS: only 4 in the store at one time. There were huge red X's on the floor, so we could maintain social distancing. I wanted to puke, but I wanted a malt* more. Around here, you have to belt your drinks in, even with a carrier, because the people on the roads shouldn't be. When you have to brake, the malts will go flying. Nothing screws up a day like a damaged malt.


Earlier this evening, on the longest day of the year, Uranus was in retrograde.
It is always good to know where Uranus has been.


IRS Used Cellphone Location Data to Try to Find Suspects
They failed, fortunately for our rights. "But I have nothing to fear... I don't break the law."  Actually you do: your civil rights are being usurped. You have a right to the pursuit of happiness, speech, assembly, guns, not having your privacy invaded and property stolen, etc. Each time you ignore this, you're that much closer to losing your rights permanently.


These kids today.... they don't even know how to roll down a car window.


Muhammed Ali, Jr, son of his father, says Muhammed Ali would be against Black Lives Matter, calling the movement "racist" and the protesters "devils."

Speaking of BLM: a black preacher informed the crowd that 'Planned Parenthood #1 killer of blacks.'
Never one to avoid non-sequitirs, she continued with, 'The reason blacks don't play golf is the shit those honkies wear.'



The Chinese media proposes Beijing pass 'George Floyd Human Rights Bill.'
Stop it. Stop it.
The problem with Chinese laws is that after an hour, you have to pass another law.
But seriously, folks, America thanks China for the tribute as it passes the 'Victims of Coronavirus Rights Bill.'



Newspapers have crosswords.
Other blogs have great content.
I have... ummm...  a test of perception:

.   .

Above we have 2 periods.
One is a regular period, the other is an italic period. Can you tell me which is which?




* What is a malt? You know those malted milk balls with the chocolate shell? The light part is a powder and it's blended in with a milkshake. It's a delight, and by that, you can tell I'm a real simpleton who doesn't get out much.

we call this piece "How to get your cause ignored"

Captivity - Day 32 WHO, UN, FCC, GTFO

It's Day 32 of our World Mask Countup



The sun is out. Like I said, it's a trap. It was really cold. Then it snowed for a bit, then sun again. I gave up trying. Unfortunately so did the sun, but there are plenty of people over the world, getting it wrong. They're called weathermen. And women.


Today's act of civil disobedience is driving around your area with no seatbelts and no mask. * you're gonna need balls - Philly police are known to carry garden hose, which doesn't leave marks. Plus most of the cops have a lot of free time on their hands, after announcing they will not show up for minor crime. They are not kidding.. I saw a convenience store with 6 police cars parked. Someone robbed the place and ran out. The store owner asked if the police were going to do something about it. The bastard had the nerve to interrupt donuts. The police asked if they called 911. Nope. They asked if he had a gun. Nope. They told the poor guy they're not allowed to work minor crimes unless there's a gun involved, then went back to their jelly donuts.

So if you ever need the Philly PD, you have to phrase your request thusly:  Hello 911? I'd like to report my neighbor for having grass over the 3" limit. AND SHE HAS A GUN!



I think the doctor needs to adjust my medicine.
I'm sitting there, minding my own business, when out of the corner of my eye, a blanket had turned into the dog.  Everyone did LSD when they were young, but it wasn't as effective as what I was seeing.  A long shard of cardboard started moving. I worked out that if Penny wasn't eating it, it was not moving. I have to admit that jamming with Jimi Hendrix was pretty mind-blowing. Hmmmm,,, I wonder if I really want this 'fixed..'

• I'd get way more work done if the cabinets and chairs would stop getting all melty

I do not want to shelter-in-place; I don't care if it's Mila Kunis' place.
That would not be good.

Hello, Honey?
If you haven't heard, Idiot Governor says we have to shelter-in- place.
What does that mean?
You have to stay indoors, in a place.
When are you coming home?
We'll have to ask Idiot Governor.
Where are you?
Mila Kunis' place.
WHAT are you doing at Mila Kunis' place?
You know these stars - none of them can operate a toothbrush, unless there's a toothbrush app in their iDevice. Do you have any idea how hard it is to use 'that pose'? They buy the phones and then spend 14 days learning how to make it look natural.



Governments across the globe are talking about when to let people out of their homes. The World Health Organization, largely seen as as cash hole, is struggling (to come up with something fund-able), but they're hiding behind the UN, where no one would bother looking for them. I've seen grown men offer to cut off a limb, cook it, and eat with his best friends, rather than go to the UN.

President says we're de-funding World Health Organization.
Out of nowhere, WHO says, "Trust us. The worst is ahead of us."
"We're not kidding."
"We're the WHO - trust us."
"We've gone through billions of dollars this calendar year."
"The Center for Disease Control butt-dialed us once.
"Trust us. Please. We're the frickin' WHO"
Well, it's a secret, but trust us. We're spot on here.
Think of the tax writeoffs!
WHO wears masks normally? US.
How do you know this?  State secret. Trust us.
We saw what was happening and bought tons of masks. No, they're for us
If you fund us now, we'll throw in the UN.

It’s only days until Gucci, Coach, and Target bring out their designer masks.

You would not be caught dead in a generic white mask.

It’s way too early to wear white.

There's a Walmart mask, but no one will wear it. The kids would rather die from the Flying AIDS than wear that mask. It's full of graffiti and diapers - the mask too. Children will be behind in life because their parents cannot afford Gucci masks. There will be thefts. A black market on the Dark Web.

Somebody call the Fashion Police!  

There's what sounds like a Saturn 5 rocket launch happening next door.

After 2 days of cutting, planting, and serving as the only nice place on the block, the fuel truck is in place and working. They have one of those elevator thingies so you can get to the top, where the best seats are. I don't know a lot about rocketry, but I think there's going to be a bit of damage done to the rest of the block. Idiot Mayor won't do anything until we remind him that there was a black, Jewish, lesbian, vegan on the flight.