The sun is out. Like I said, it's a trap. It was really cold. Then it snowed for a bit, then sun again. I gave up trying. Unfortunately so did the sun, but there are plenty of people over the world, getting it wrong. They're called weathermen. And women.
Today's act of civil disobedience is driving around your area with no seatbelts and no mask. * you're gonna need balls - Philly police are known to carry garden hose, which doesn't leave marks. Plus most of the cops have a lot of free time on their hands, after announcing they will not show up for minor crime. They are not kidding.. I saw a convenience store with 6 police cars parked. Someone robbed the place and ran out. The store owner asked if the police were going to do something about it. The bastard had the nerve to interrupt donuts. The police asked if they called 911. Nope. They asked if he had a gun. Nope. They told the poor guy they're not allowed to work minor crimes unless there's a gun involved, then went back to their jelly donuts.
So if you ever need the Philly PD, you have to phrase your request thusly: Hello 911? I'd like to report my neighbor for having grass over the 3" limit. AND SHE HAS A GUN!
I think the doctor needs to adjust my medicine.
I'm sitting there, minding my own business, when out of the corner of my eye, a blanket had turned into the dog. Everyone did LSD when they were young, but it wasn't as effective as what I was seeing. A long shard of cardboard started moving. I worked out that if Penny wasn't eating it, it was not moving. I have to admit that jamming with Jimi Hendrix was pretty mind-blowing. Hmmmm,,, I wonder if I really want this 'fixed..'
- I'd get way more work done if the cabinets and chairs would stop getting all melty
I do not want to shelter-in-place; I don't care if it's Mila Kunis' place.
That would not be good.
Hello, Honey?
If you haven't heard, Idiot Governor says we have to shelter-in- place.
What does that mean?
You have to stay indoors, in a place.
When are you coming home?
We'll have to ask Idiot Governor.
Where are you?
Mila Kunis' place.
WHAT are you doing at Mila Kunis' place?
You know these stars - none of them can operate a toothbrush, unless there's a toothbrush app in their iDevice. Do you have any idea how hard it is to use 'that pose'? They buy the phones and then spend 14 days learning how to make it look natural.
Governments across the globe are talking about when to let people out of their homes. The World Health Organization, largely seen as as cash hole, is struggling (to come up with something fund-able), but they're hiding behind the UN, where no one would bother looking for them. I've seen grown men offer to cut off a limb, cook it, and eat with his best friends, rather than go to the UN.
President says we're de-funding World Health Organization.
Out of nowhere, WHO says, "Trust us. The worst is ahead of us."
"We're not kidding."
"We're the WHO - trust us."
"We've gone through billions of dollars this calendar year."
"The Center for Disease Control butt-dialed us once.
"Trust us. Please. We're the frickin' WHO"
Well, it's a secret, but trust us. We're spot on here.
Think of the tax writeoffs!
WHO wears masks normally? US.
How do you know this? State secret. Trust us.
We saw what was happening and bought tons of masks. No, they're for us
If you fund us now, we'll throw in the UN.
It’s only days until Gucci, Coach, and Target bring out their designer masks.
You would not be caught dead in a generic white mask.
It’s way too early to wear white.
There's a Walmart mask, but no one will wear it. The kids would rather die from the Flying AIDS than wear that mask. It's full of graffiti and diapers - the mask too. Children will be behind in life because their parents cannot afford Gucci masks. There will be thefts. A black market on the Dark Web.
Somebody call the Fashion Police!
There's what sounds like a Saturn 5 rocket launch happening next door.
After 2 days of cutting, planting, and serving as the only nice place on the block, the fuel truck is in place and working. They have one of those elevator thingies so you can get to the top, where the best seats are. I don't know a lot about rocketry, but I think there's going to be a bit of damage done to the rest of the block. Idiot Mayor won't do anything until we remind him that there was a black, Jewish, lesbian, vegan on the flight.
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