Lunch, however, was an entirely different situation.
Took out leftover lasagna, put on kitchen counter. Turned around, entire lasagna leapt to ground (5 second rule does not apply to lasagna). Made soup: almost spilled 3 times. Heated garlic bread: it's like rubber. Took to office: spoon sunk into bowl, leaving me to fish around hot soup to find it.
I'm literally terrified to go back for a soda.
Another benefit of working from home is that you can work drunk. I'm seriously considering it at this point. My behavior is so erratic normally that they won't notice any difference.
Today's Fact: tortilla soup has no tortillas in it.
HIM: Hey, are you eating lunch?
HER: I'm eating mangoes.
This is another reason why people drink.
Against better judgment, I was cleaning yesterday. That's two days in a row, and I slept for 12 hours. I shouldn't try that again.
Once the backhoe removed the dust that was blocking the door, I could make it to my desk. Once the backhoe moved a few things from the desk, I got set up. I even had power and net access. After a few months (16), I decided to clean the other half of the room. I had to return the backhoe, so it was all by hand. I found square monitors! Did you know you can't use a square monitor with a current monitor? It confuses the hell out of the computer, costing me a lot of money in new monitors. Anybody need 5 square monitors? Maybe 10?
One lost treasure became found: an autographed picture of Leah Remini (King of Queens, Scientology), before facelift. This woman is gorgeous.
Sure enough, there were carcasses of enemies and a few ex-friends. And a few ex-girlfriends. They're safely in the basement, with Jimmy Hoffa (most of us aren't old enough for that reference). Also found a guitar amp I modified, apparently a while ago. old bills (oops), old tax documents (double oops), and the phone numbers of 10 of the 15 Victoria's Secret models (I picked a bad time to stop being single). Strangely, I also found my 1979 station wagon, my old apartment, and my collection of women's underwear (in case any stayed over and needed some) (yeah, right). In my defense, they're not my size.
Judging by the look on Mrs lefty's face, I will be cleaning again tonight (after I get the station wagon started).
To the best of my knowledge, Idiot Governor hasn't done anything publicly idiotic today. Of course I haven't read the news today either,
No comments:
Post a Comment