Friday, April 3, 2020

Captivity - Day 14

Either I haven't gotten enough sleep or the dog just complained about not going for car rides. Must be the sun. We see it so little, it confuses us when it comes out. Might also have something to do with those things I see moving, late at night. I swear that bag was breathing....


Things have been going to hell around the house, because we're now home all the time. You know how you always wished you had the time to clean and do things right? Turns out it doesn't work that way. Wishing you had the time is simply Convenient Bullshit, to get you out of cleaning. Don't ask how I know.


Another unforeseen consequence of being home: the dogs.
All of the sudden, every dog in the neighborhood has gotten chatty.
Like Hollywood, when one talks, every other one must join in.
So now there are 5 minute explosions of dogs barking. In case you're bored, there are also dogs down the block you didn't know about, and dogs on the tv. My dog hears dogs on tv, barks, then goes around the back of the tv, looking for them.


Nikon is offering online photography courses this month, free.


Idiot governor not only shut down the entire state, the entire country may be wearing masks, per White House recommendation.  Remember: the masks protect others from you, not the other way around.  Naturally I get this kind of information from the BBC, because the US has absolutely no news worth reading. It's no longer news, it's agenda.


I'm getting ready to practice some civil disobedience as part of my weekend activities. I'll walk the dog again. I'll show THEM. Idiot governor said nothing about dog walking, probably because he forgot. I might walk her TWICE (hold on there, Bubba, that's mutiny. And too much like exercise).

Hmmm.... lets think of the list of civil disobedience for weekends:
  • take the dog food shopping, sharing one mask
  • drive around the corner, not buying food or medicine
  • mow the lawn (just kidding)
  • carry a protest sign outside the liquor store
  • defiantly sit on my front steps
  • block traffic (in my driveway)
  • stay 5.99' from people
  • make a mask out of fashionable jeans with holes in them
  • take up drinking
  • breast implants (I don't know - it just came to me)


I sure picked a bad time to need dental work and glasses.
And a nose job.
When I was little, I got hit by a softball. It turns out they're not soft at all. So I have an interesting nose. They say it has character. I say character means ugly. I am not a handsome guy, but I'm ok with that: I have character.


I also picked a good time to go shopping, or rather, Mrs lefty picked it.
I was pretty damn impressed. There were people but it was lighter than normal. A bunch were wearing masks - good for them... they weren't even rude! I was thinking some welder's masks would be pretty cool (hot?). The cashiers had large plastic shields between them and us. I asked one if she felt safer: she replied in the affirmative. Then I asked her about her sex life. She said she liked it dirty; she didn't use the plastic shield.

Most importantly, there was food. Last time there was food, but there was a lot more this time. Granted, my hood isn't your hood, but remain calm. Negativity helps nobody.


See you tomorrow.
Late morning or afternoon - it's the weekend.

No comments:

Post a Comment