Captivity - Cay 27 Run to the light

I got a look at what it will be like when I'm old yesterday, after proving that people can't fly (at least with a mower). I looked like a 90 year old, with mower-related injuries. Since it was a very real injury, I want to use it to my advantage - no mowing for at least 10 years. My psychic abilities tell me this will work almost as well as Joe Biden's mind, or Trump's attempts at subtlety.

I can't help noticing that it was very early this morning.

Statistics, that I just made up, says 1 in 7 in New York residents may have the Flying AIDS.  Because of this, we need to put a fence around California.

Today I identify as  the same thing I identified as yesterday, and likely the same thing I will identify as tomorrow.

It's a bad time to be in PA. Generally.

You want to avoid public transportation. Last week, 10 police stormed a bus to remove a lady not wearing a mask. Last night, a man shot 3 teenagers in self-defense. While the system is giving out masks, perhaps they should switch to bulletproof vests. UPDATE: riders are stealing the masks.

Idiot Governor made masks mandatory and when he was done, said he plans to veto legislation allowing some businesses to run. ACHTUNG DUMBKOPF!  Since Herr Fuhrer mandated masks, let's open the businesses.

Whenever you think Idiot Governor, thank your deity that you're not in California, where the governor is handing out $500 checks to illegal aliens. Statistically there has to be somebody with some sense in the entire state.

Idiot Governor will quietly approve a measure next week that requires all cars to wear masks. 

In Philly, where health workers are needed, they're being furloughed because the Flying AIDS is hurting the hospitals' bottom line.

Masks, as mandated, are still hard to come by. Suggested is making your own. Sometimes you have to use alternate materials:

• car stereo (remove from car first)
• China (turnabout is fair play)
• dining room table
• Aunt Margaret, who you never really got along with
• bra (over 38C for maximum protection)
• If you want maximum social distancing, Judge Judy (come near me and I'll talk to you)
• steal someone else's

I need to make a music CD for the car. For some reason, probably because I don't work at a place with them, I'm completely out. Where does one get blank CDs? Amazon does not consider them essential; my car does. Drug stores have them, at $9.99 for one. Hey - there's Best Buy! They now have curbside service. WTF is curbside service for audio? Do you yell across the lot to any convenient employee "HEY, I WANT SOME BLANK CDs"? He goes inside and comes out with the closest thing they have: a home audio system, with couch and 74" tv. No, No, No, you explain, and show him a CD in your car.  The lightbulb goes off over Darwin's head. He returns with an iPad.  Darwin suggests you use the app. The app wants permissions to your contacts and your underwear size. Finally you give up and go home. You order over the web, which tells you that it's ok to pick up. In the parking lot of the store you were just at. In fact, your cheerful sales associate, Darwin, will be happy to help you. You go home and wait til Amazon starts selling everything else.

People are pissed. People are concerned about privacy and government bullshit. People are protesting - in the streets. It makes me proud that people finally care enough to actually turn off the Wednesday Night Furries and DO SOMETHING. That is all.