If you like gray/green cover from clouds the size of the northern hemisphere.
We're taking a great leap of trust by listening to the weather forecasters.
Don't forget: the first symptoms of the Flying AIDS is something. One group of experts says the toes. Another group of experts says loss of taste (I better shut the blog down). Yet another groups says a temperature. I'm beginning to think these experts flunked out of weatherman school.
Doctors and therapists are using conferencing services as appointments. This leaves a huge market for the rest of us. Get ready for DriveBySarcasting - Had too good of a day? Get a raise? We'll drive by, observing social distancing norms, and blast out a genuine single serving of sarcasm! By the time your spouse sees you, you'll you're in Big Trouble! Also available: blow up beds, for those nights your spouse would prefer you sleep elsewhere!
Brief News:
Scientists have come up with another wacky phrase: quarantine fatigue.
Use your imagination. This is based upon your cell phone data - stolen directly from you. So we add this to shelter-in-place, covid, the Flying AIDS, and flatten the curve. Your homework: use them all in a sentence.
Chicken plants scramble.
Shouldn't that be eggs?
Couples are getting married on Zoom.
Nobody should be using Zoom, but the bigger concern is whether they will be broadcasting the wedding night. Followed by divorces on Zoom.
Speaking of which, I'm finding out there's a morass of legal issues when working from home. If you have sex with your SO, that counts as having sex at work. It is ok to have sex with your SO, provided one of you isn't supervising the other.
The joke is on Mrs lefty: she got a motion sensor light for the back yard. I had no idea it was in the Neighborhood Instruction Manual. She probably figured she could sail it by me when I wasn't looking. I showed her.... I didn't listen. She kept saying something about lights, deer, spaghetti, moles, and bunnys and the dog. Here's how it works: keep in its box for a year. Take it out of its box for a month. Refer to it repeatedly while he stares forward. Now here's the good bit: apply on a sunny day, without rain.... I WIN! I WIN!
I hate when my friendly neighbors float by my house; some in crash position, some with small improvised craft. I was thinking of a tennis thingie across the street, so we can catch them as they go by. The problem is that we only like one of our neighbors.
I got a present from Satan Claws the other day. Is it a tablet with a keyboard you can attach. So you can sit there, in Starbucks, looking like you're working on the Next Big Idea. On in class or work - people will check your tech and you'll get a raise or an A in class: all for watching pr0n on your. Pro Tip: mute the volume, always. Where was I? Oh the tablet, yes.... It has a touch pad. You either love or hate touchpads, which isn't the point in this paragraph. There are no instructions. Normally we all deal with it and just get computing. But this becomes very difficult when you can't right click, left click, drag, or tell the tablet's manufacturer how you feel about this genius idea'
It would be nice if maybe you could find the instructions.
Looking for the manual would be a lesson in frustration. Lotta lessons here, right outta the box. This sort of pad is vaguely popular, so there is info (and reviews) in many place. Most of the answers are downright stupid. It took quite a while to get around to asking how to work the mouse. What is wrong with this brand? I've never had a portable computing device with no trackpad buttons. My short ride on the internet produced a manual. Unfortunately for another model. Eventually I scared something up, figuring it out by an older manual.
* First you turn it on: this is the MAIN step and we cannot stress it enough.
* You might also want to see if the device is charged. Hold down any of 12 switches and look for a small light. I think it was blue.
* If there is no light, you bought the cheap version. Do you research things, or randomly throw money at it?
* In the event that the tablet comes up, we will not be responsible for it. Look for some garish goog graphic, take a few days off work, and get that thing off your machine.
*Now we're going to play hide and seek. The only one in the house who can operate the trackpad hides for a few days. The joke is on him, as the locks are changed.
* Back to the net, where we discover there IS a manual... they just didn't want us to FIND it. In order to left click, just move the mouse left. Same for right click. If you want to grab and drag, hold the most steady part of your body on the trackpad and yell GRAB - GRAB! It won't work. Try it again. By God you people are hysterical! Left click, drag, put on your ruby slippers and say "OUCH - these things hurt." So, very quietly, put one finger on the trackpad, lift, and move your arm over your head, like an antenna. A very stupid antenna. If this doesn't work. we're going to recommend the Lego Computing Set.
Here's some stuff I want... I am not asking you for anything.. just the info on where it is:
- I drink Peet's French roast. I checked and they don't make a French roast in decaf (the bastards). So I'm looking for an absolutely nasty, dark roast that's so strong, eats the cup it came in (Keurig)
- a left handed Fender Stratocaster - up to the year 1959
Thanks.
You guys are the best.
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