Captivity - Day 41 Johnny-take that pen out of your nose

The main benefit of 41 is that it comes after 40, thus it's also divisible by 13.

After teaching all fish to social distance, Idiot Governor is now working on multi-dog houses. Somebody on his staff told him it's easy to speak dog, so he's out of the office again, spreading governorish advice.

If you're in the Philly area, only use cash or stop going to Primo Hoagies. They had a data breach that lasted 7 months. I'd like to take this time to urge your to try Lee's Hoagies. They're large and don't have any of those little seeds on them.

We'd characterize today's weather as brown, with some more brown later, followed by brown. There is s 10% chance the sun will make it through the clouds, but nobody's betting on it,  It's also a bit windy, in the same way airlines want a bit of a bailout. Ladies were chasing their pocketbooks through  parking lots, as men were chasing their hats. We need a 24x7 channel with this happening. The guy down the block who's building a complex underground, also traveled past our window, with a few of the safety elevators and a panic room or 2.



I don't fully understand this social distancing thing. I thought they meant while you were outside. Wife says that's wrong: it applies inside too. Somebody isn't telling me the truth.


Remember, during these odd times, not to run yourself over.




Dear lefty  

Q. I have a 90 year old neighbor who's a real sweatheart. My office windows open toward her house. When I'm viewing pr0n highly important work, can she see it?

A. Good God, man, she's 90. You'll be surprised to see what she's gotten up to at her age.  Try this: use the biggest monitor you have and put it in the window. If nothing happens, don't worry about it. If she's taken to the hospital, you might want to move the monitor. If you get a note in your mailbox, saying the production values were shit, you know you won't get a better neighbor.*




Did you know that if you hook 2 mice to a computer, they both work? Or at least they both flash.  (uh-oh, he's out of material and scraping the bottom)



* Let me try to say something nice, although it hurts:
This lady was Marshall's buddy. At least one of them had a lot of conversations. She would do gardening at the fence, and Marshall would lay next to her. She went to the next section and Marshall would move. He was almost her dog by proxy.

Her son sent us a card when Marshall passed and thanked us for 'taking care' of his mom.