The other people in the trench reminded me it's Easter.
Happy(?) Easter to those who celebrate.
Mrs lefty, an escaped Catholic, has her hands full with me on a daily basis, but it gets worse around this time of year. She keeps trying to explain 'He is Risen' to me because I never see Him. It only makes sense if He is risen, that you can see Him. He'd be off doing miracles and giving the Vatican what it deserves. Does He rise only once a year and I keep missing Him? Mother-in-law calls to ask if Wife was making mass for the neighbors. I got really excited and asked if she was making mass cookies. Alas, no.
Now that I think about it, the poor wife could get by on sympathy donations from my readers. What really frightens me about Mrs lefty is that she watches those Home Shopping Network channels. That's not bad, but she keeps switching over from other channels. She knows the hosts' names. She knows the descriptions of all the clothes and the models. The worst is that she's now calling jewelry 'pieces' (that's a nice piece). If she fails to order weekly, the Vice President of Sales calls to make sure she's ok.
So don't forget Easter Candy Sale Monday. After a massive campaign, we got Idiot Governor to declare candy essential (what an idiot), so get out there and save at least 50%. Just remember to social distance. If a store refuses to sell you candy, call Idiot Governor before the national guard shows up. It's bad enough they've taken our liberty: THEY'RE NOT GETTING THEIR FILTHY HANDS ON OUR SALE CANDY. Out forefathers did not fight and die so we couldn't take advantage of post-Easter candy sales. *obligatory reminder: keep the dog away from the chocolate candy. Also the fat kid. Keep dogs and cats away from grapes, and cats away from onions and poinsettia.
It's partly cloudy with a chance of partly sunny. Again, this is a trap; It's 32. That's 497 metric. Mrs lefty wants to go out. Where, I wonder. Just for a ride. This is where trouble starts (see - it's not always me). Maybe we can ride around, making notes of which businesses are open. Or take down license plate numbers, so people think we're cops and panic. We're under cover. Wayyy under cover. We're so shut in that McDonald's is starting to sound good. Maybe we can drive around, order stuff, then drive around again. We wouldn't actually eat the stuff, but we could drive around a few times. We're in the middle of getting Idiot Governor declared non-essential.
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