Captivity - Day 24 E@$(ewqr5846

The weather is perfect for Monday: brown, disgusting, and raining like mad. If you're not watching carefully, it might not register that it's Monday. This might also have something to do with what you inhaled or took or drank over the weekend. They say if your head hurts that badly, stay home.  Get it - stay home? It's one of those days when there's no point in opening the curtains - it will just suck the existing light out of your house. That was until 4:30, when the sun shined brightly. I told Mrs lefty I'd take out the trash when it stopped raining, figuring that would be sometime next week, but out it went. I had to think about it for a minute: we have no guidance from Idiot Governor as concerns trash, so I didn't know whether to take it out. Mrs lefty was not buying, so I took it out, waiting for the inevitable sirens of the state police to baton me half to death. No, wait - rubber hoses don't leave marks.

The thunder was interesting.. it sounded like a truck dragging a dozen 4x8 sheets of plywood up and down the street. Or me, after a particularly rich dinner. Neither of us usually goes that long, hence my confusion.

Since I wasn't working, Wife reminded me I could spend some time cleaning.
She told me this as she went for a nap. She was right, so I went for a nap too.

I vacuumed the other day. My bad history with vacuums goes back years and years. 2 long-haired people, 4 dogs, 2 cats, and 4 metric tonnes of dust later, we have a foreboding task, so the vacuum breaks. Every vacuum breaks. From the most expensive to the cheap. And now my quadrupedal assistant has taken to helping. I noticed the latest vacuum sucked. It largely pushed the dirt around. I kept launching it and swearing it needed to DIE. Then I got frustrated that I was beaten by a vacuum. I took this *#&@ing thing apart from top to bottom, including the beater brush, which was building a new dog. Still pushing the dirt around. Still making the foul machine airborne. The amount of suckage was able to pull some junk up, so it looked better. This vacuum sucks,

Traffic was interesting this morning. The dog had 6 toys in one pile on the steps. This makes her the only occupant of the house who cleans regularly. Naturally there was a 1 mile backup as everyone stopped to gawk.



Don't forget - this is the highest holiday: Easter Candy Sale Monday! Get out there and purchase some highly-discounted, deemed-essential chocolates. I'm partial to butter cream.

Speaking of which, we're trying to get Idiot Governor deemed non-essential.



Anybody know where I can get a good virtual haircut?



I just took a header, walking into my office. Mrs lefty saw it happen, with quiet amusement. This is the first time I ever fell in my office; I've been cleaning it, for once. So now I feel I should stop cleaning it, for my own health. I will not die of old age; the house will kill me. Let Mrs lefty smirk - she trips over flat surfaces.


Speaking of headers, it's windy. I think someone's car blew by the window. The guy behind the wheel didn't look too happy.


I got my government check today.
What I can't get is official word on who's paying for this.

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Europe is reporting increasing amounts of domestic violence during enforced shelter-in-place. Add to this a large number of people with behavioral issues, including the undiagnosed ones, and you have the perfect recipe for Painful Stew. If you're experiencing either of these, there are phone numbers to call for help. Therapists are doing work over the phone or video chat. Please reach out. It can get better.

Somebody told me something that sticks with me to this day: "You deserve better."

I do not say this out of altruism - I just can't afford to lose any readers.