Captivity - Day 19

The president said repeatedly that this would be a rough week.
It sure has... the guitar stores remain closed. I have to call Dairy Queen to see if I can still get a malt. We are mostly concerned that the drugstore remains open, because people should have unlimited access to birth control:

Person 1: I'm a baby boomer
Person 2: I'm Gen X
Person 3: I'm Gen Y
Person 4: I'm a corona baby


There are a few states holding out on the quarantine. Good for them. States that do not require government intervention and can make their own decisions.

It's raining again, per Prophecy, as this is trash day. I'm going to get wet taking the cans out or bringing them back - this is a law of physics. Like Quarks and Particles and Blue Matter, no one knows why. Hey... it's  sunny! This is unprecedented. 2 days of sun on trash days - let me bring in the cans. The moment I get out the front door, I feel the familiar droplets....


Caramel M&Ms are fine for breakfast and don't let anyone tell you different.


I am organizing a Neighborhood March to the convenience store this weekend. Everybody will line up, maintaining a 6' distance, and perform a disorderly march to the convenience store. Once there, they will remain at a 6' distance, and enter the store roughly every 5 minutes, per store policy. Since we're distancing and purchasing food, the police can't cite us. I would have been a great social disruptor in the 60s-70s. My anti-war protests would be legendary. I hear women held rallies, at which they'd burn their bras. I would have to attend at least one of those gatherings. Unlike today, they wouldn't weigh 450lbs and sport green hair.


Q. How many governors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. You're under arrest.


The problem with captivity is that we don't get enough SJW news. So aside from the Flying AIDS being a tool of the Patriarchy, we aren't treated with much more ridiculousness. This stuff is so random  and insane that most people simply can't make it up. Since I'm so bored that I'm counting my arm hairs, I'll give it a try (he said, revving up his Righteous Indignation):

• The virus is sexist because women get it too.
• You don't have to have specific genitalia to be trans, but you can get the virus either way, which is an obvious tool of the Patriarchy.
• Trump specifically went to China to let the virus loose himself. Since China has a high female to male ratio,this is obviously a male thing and Trump should be impeached. If Biden were president, he might forget which gender (out of the 432) is which.
• It is discrimination if you don't WAX MY BALLS! I'm trans and you have to.
• Malls are also a tool of the patriarchy: the local ones have 289 female shops and 1 for men. The 1 for men must be shut down or they're encroaching on our space. Also, the law that requires department stores to have male clothes should be eliminated. In the meantime, the men's section is located out back, with 3 square feet of display space, which is mostly hangers and some 90s metrosexual man-dresses.

Ok, that's not ridiculous enough>

• Today's email from a guitar manufacturer had a 40% off sale on this one guitar. I've been waiting for one forever,as it's a copy of a Mike Nesmith Gretsch, so I can get my Monkees on. They make lefties, but they're out of stock and won't come in til maybe late April, if the wood hasn't caught the Flying AIDS first. THIS is the kind of RIGHTtriarchy that the left-handed face on a daily basis. It's discrimination in its most basic form. Am I any less of a human if I write with a different hand? (don't even)
• Gibson and Fender have an additional charge for lefties. DISCRIMINATION! There is no left-right hand spectrum - we're one of either, and shouldn't be charged more. It's Rightism, I tell you.
• When I go shopping, I'm lucky to find a single lefty guitar, and it's probably made in North Korea. It explodes when you try to play it, unless you have a very silly haircut, like Best Leader. Best Leader good flend of Tlump. Best flend.
• Without fail, Idiot Salesman, finding I'm a lefty, says "Well, play in a mirror." Wasn't funny 40 years ago, when the first Idiot Salesman said it. Continues to remain riotously unfunny. You stupid dick.
• Ever see a left-handed piano? NO. A left-handed baseball catcher? NO. A left-handed laptop,with the number pad on the left? NO. The entire f'ing world discriminates against us! I'm calling the UN, for crimes against humanity. Speaking of crimes against humanity, Bill Gates has been in the news lately.....