Dreams Don't Die - Dreamers Do

 

Your love is like  getting a Brazilian wax

• Former Google CEO calls social networks 'amplifiers for idiots'.
• if the custom made Italian shoe fits...

Today I identify as  a busy bartender, with the Flying AIDS

Actually, I identify as a person who is still sick.

I somehow managed to get an appointment with the doctor, instead of the person who sets up his office furniture. After a lot of phone calls, waiting, and reading 50 books on how to satisfy a woman, I got all set up.  A turkey baster.... I had no idea...

So it's 45 minutes after appointment time, and no doctor. I call the office, which just let me know I'm 9th in line to speak to what passes as a real person. Every 5 seconds, their sophisticated phone system tells me I am still 9th in line.

You know, I'm kinda tired. It's a good thing I don't have anything fatal, or I might slip away, just trying to get some help. Even though we ascertained I don't have the Flying AIDS, I still have a fever, which means I can't come into the doctor's office. Because, you know, we can't have any sick people in the doctor's office. The next time I have an appointment, I'll tell them I can't come in because I'm sick.

I know for a fact that we have a pretty good medical system. I just wonder where it went on vacation and if it's wearing a mask.

• In a win for the anti-violence effort, a 28 year old anti-violence worker in Philly shot and killed a 31 year old male prostitute. 

New Google Nest Hub experiment nixes the “Hey Google” voice hotword

Because let's call a spade a spade.... the thing listens to everything you say... 

• No, mouthwash won't save you from Flying AIDS.
• Because yesterday, mouthwash was said to save you from Flying AIDS 

Google is making it easier to run Windows 10 on Chromebooks.

Because your day isn't crappy enough already... 

Give Blood 

It wasn't entirely by choice... the doctor ordered a lot of tests. In fact, when I saw the list of tests, I asked if I'd have enough blood to go back to work. I suspect some of the values were off, due to the extremely alarmed looks on the blood tech. They don't normally pee in their scrubs, do they?

I brought Mrs lefty along because she said we never spend any quality time together.  The last time I got results, someone suggested we order an ambulance.

When the doc says you need tests, you say "ok" and go get them. You tend to miss small stuff, like 'fast for 12 hours' or 'you'll need to drop off some urine.' There are two distinct reactions to this: the first is that you will NOT be able to produce a drop of urine because you're supposed to. The second is that you pee. Most of my relatives are in the first group. The key here is to shake your head whenever they ask you a question. "Have you fasted for 12 hours?" [head shake]. "Can you fill this up?" [head shake or ask 'from here?'].

Having managed to produce some of the yellow gold, I took one look at the container, before trying to give it to random old ladies who were walking around, and said, "A-HA! This is the problem. Look at that color!" Then I quickly realized I have never seen my urine in a specimen cup so I have no idea what color it's supposed to be. I figure that as long as it's in the General Urine Color Spectrum<tm>, I'm ok. So, lacking any blue or green, I figured I'd just allow the professionals to take care of things... I'm good that way...

Vampire Bob, or the Blood Taker, was very nice, in spite of that odd look in his eye (the good one).  He said I'd only feel a pinch - I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be on my butt. He told me I'd have no blood left, so a high-sugar, high-fat breakfast was essential. I'm just happy I didn't pass out, like the last 12 times. Turns out they like you to tell them this before they stick you. Note: the stools are further from the ground, so it's much farther to fall.

I'm sure my doctor, or his interior decorator, will call me back with the results. My results. Any results. His bloody t-shirt did little to calm my fears, but he sure sounded eager.

• Due to the Flying AIDS, France put 46 million under night curfew. 
• This is political misdirection: the problem is what they get up to during the day.

Burger King is planning to test reusable containers.

They can put their reusable food inside them.

• The problem with online training is that they expect you to pay attention. This is what killed me in classroom training.

You gotta hand it to Greenpeace - they're right on top of things. They say Fukushima contaminated water could damage human DNA. Were they out drinking heavily a few years back, when Fukushima dumped the radioactive water?

Dear lefty  

• What are you doing with that anvil?
• flattening the curve 

Mitch McConnell wants you to know he has no health problems. The purple lips and band aids all over his hands are for Halloween - yeah, that's it - Halloween. 

The immediate question is 'what kind of idiot...' and the immediate answer is McConnell. Remember Halloweens of past, when Harry Reid sported a bandage over his eye and Bush the Dimmer 'choked on a pretzel.'

California is bracing for riots after the election: the police are getting military gear out and the people are getting their Twitter Whining Fingers warmed up.

Catholic leaders are mad at the pope for his speech on same-sex unions. The pope issued a correction: "When I said that same sex couples need love too, what I meant was 'keep on doing those little boys with impunity.' I apologize for any confusion."

Best Title 

The twisted sex lives of Nazis — and the women who loved them

I Feel Good.

Sent off my ballot.

The libertarians had a candidate for almost every seat.

Except for the lady whose every breath disagrees with me.

The only thing missing was the satisfaction of pulling the Libertarian lever and feeling its certainty, as I cast my vote. I'll live.

Unfortunately there will be no stories of the masked Great Unwashed, standing 6' apart, probably in the rain, in the firehouse. There will come a time when a fire breaks out, deafening everybody in line, except for the registrars, some of whom have been dead for 25 years. They do good work.

A huge overall turnout is expected; perhaps the highest since the early 1900s

If nothing else, Trump got people off their fat asses and to the polls.

And peace in the Middle East.

A doctor friend was gleeful about spitting on a Trump sign.

I can't believe I had to tell a friend to register his complaint at the polls, not on someone's private property. I need better doctor friends. 

WTF is wrong with America when this sort of behavior is ok?

Have we been online too long? That kind of toxic behavior is NFG in real life.

I don't go around uprooting Trump AND Biden signs. Think of all the work a 3rd party voter has to do...

Happys 

Weird Al Yankovic

SJW Scrawl 

Twitter suspended a feminist professor for saying 'only females get cervical cancer'

The investment firms that manage Yale's $31.2 billion endowment were put on notice: you will be measured on your progress increasing your staffs' diversity

Drilling Ventilation Holes in the Submarine

Pro Tip: if you tell someone you're from Romania, it is helpful to speak Romanian.

• I love animals. That's why I watch treehouse shows on Animal Planet

The Christmas commercial barrage has begun. Or I just caught it.

It occurs to me that the holiday might be here soon, in a month and a half, and I should get something for someone. I have one someone on my list. One. And I usually screw that one up, proving that advanced planning has no advantage.

If, for some reason, you find yourself married to a person with multiple personalities, you could always ask a different one of them what to get. Not that I would ever do a thing like that.

• Anything worth doing can be done from the couch  - leftyfucious

Mrs lefty was upset because Penny kept lunging at her while she was driving. She figured out Penny wasn't lunging - she is a Spaniel Seatbelt. She sits right in her lap and doesn't move. That's a weird habit for any dog larger than a Yorkie. Fortunately she's not so large as to impair driving.

• You got me like ah and ooh, with all the things you do... 
• I'm sorry, this 'song' annoys the crap out of me. 
• Ok, I'm not sorry.

I voted. You probably voted too. It's a way to make your voice heard, but only if a lot of people vote like you. I had 5 races: three were libertarians, leaving 2 races to investigate. Duckduckgo was very helpful in getting all the local voting and candidate information. One of the remaining two was an easy choice: vote against our local representative. I don't normally do this - I vote for, not against - but this person gets under my skin by breathing. Have you ever met or looked up someone whose every view is diametrically opposed to yours? It's not like we have any common ground, except (perhaps) not killing random people. Killing random people might be ok with her, but you may not do it with guns, because she's against guns. She never misses an opportunity to make government bigger and more expensive. Every single issue. The other race featured 2 people who were moderate democrat and republican. After research, I wound up voting straight libertarian and two republicans. Remember: "Common sense gun regulations" means gun confiscation or other erosions of the 2nd Amendment.

The incumbent governor won (boo), as did the representative from hell, who is wrong on every issue.  I didn't expect to win, but this is disappointing. Apparently a lot of people didn't vote like me.  

There was a huge turnout, which I'll put down to people coming out against Trump (this a guess, not a comment). Everybody in line was pleasant, helping newcomers to the correct line. The staff was either pleasant or near death. I got to entertain here and there, which made it fun for me. Less so Penny, who isn't registered to vote here (yet), and wasn't allowed in the building. Neither was my comfort elephant, which will require a complaint with the Federal Election Commission, and under the Americans with Disabilities Act. They're just lucky I didn't bring my comfort fire engine or comfort F-15.

• Penny just figured out how to open the kitchen door; she puts her paw under and pulls. How do pets figure this stuff out? It's only a matter of time til she figures out the bi-fold bathroom door. All of our pets figured them both out.

This is Penny. Penny is a meerkat.

Say - are you an HSBC customer in California?

Oops - your personal and banking information are out in the wild after a breach. 

"The information that may have been accessed includes your full name, mailing address, phone number, email address, date of birth, account numbers, account types, account balances, transaction history, payee account information, and statement history where available. 

 Naturally, HSBC is very sorry (they got caught) and they take security very seriously (because they got caught).

• Minnesota is the #1 state in voter turnout: 74.7%
• Even my rudimentary math skills show over 25% of voters can't be bothered to abandon their Faceyspaces accounts long enough to make their voices heard.

Do you have boxes of real dead bats, attached to cardboard, with cellophane wrapped around them? You may not send them to Canada. Don't ask how I know.

• Shrimp paste?

Overheard but not confirmed: Best Buy employees have to price match Amazon prices from their personal phones because of people editing html to change prices on Amazon. 

Just in case you haven't discovered the World Wide Web yet, this means people are taking Amazon web pages and altering the code (html) to reflect their desired price.

Let me eat my words: We are not a nation of morons. We are a nation of mostly morons.

Sinead O'Connor has converted to Islam and declared that she doesn't want to associate with white people.

1. Whoever is in charge of Public Relations for Islam had better tell her Mohammed wants her to entertain others from the safety of a soundproofed closet, twelve stories underground, at a nuclear-fortified facility. The reason they're so slow on this is that Public Relations is also in charge of picking random places to blow up innocent people in other countries, in the name of God.
2. Sinead, alternately known as Skinhead or My Little Garbage Truck, in addition to converting, got a real knock on the head and has also converted to Social Justice Warrior. This is proved by her statement coming out on Twitter, where you are not allowed to malign Muslims.
3. This woman is a mess. Those of us who pay attention to this sort of thing (and tell jokes at polling places), suspect she's a victim of abuse, perhaps as a child. She hasn't dealt with her trauma. Let's say Sinead is a balloon (a pretty blue one): she starts out flat, then fills with grief and agita until full. If she doesn't process the agita, the balloon can't hold more air, so it blurts out little bits, like we used to do when we were little to make fart sounds. The bizarre behavior is the air leaking out, bit by bit. After she deals with the event that brought this about, the air will go out of her. Then she'll be flat again (which is not so good if you're a musician). It would be a good thing to get this behind her, lest she find herself the lone member of the Symbionese Liberation Army, remote flying drones that drop bombs on people who don't want to associate with white people.

• Another shooting.
• There have been mass shootings for years. Lately it seems they're out of control. So to speak.
• Is the media hyping the shootings?
• Is there an agenda to disarm Americans? If so, who benefits?
• Has MKULTRA come back in a different form? Who's doing the programming?
• Have we simply morphed into a society with a larger tiny percentage of mass murderers?
• Many of the shooters were on prescribed medicines, like antidepressants and antipsychotics.
• I have no firm answers - just asking questions.

The Guardian, a very strange newspaper in the UK, featured this gem, when they learned that People magazine voted Idris Elba the Sexiest Man Alive:

Congrats, Idris Elba: but next year, let's have a less macho sexiest man alive...

Do you really want to live on the same planet as these people?
How about Harvey Fierstein?
Hint: evolution favors the macho, not the metro.


Many sections of the UK have gone completely off the rails; mostly the government and the more prominent voices of SJWs. If someone said Idris was an ass, the police would prosecute for hate speech and the SJWs would prosecute for racism (because he's black). America would prosecute because no one should be called Idris.

• For some unknown reason, I get a few visits from a domain that seems to belong to some very adult websites, possibly also Ashley Madison. Is somebody trying to tell me something? It is my wife?

old crazy lefty is at it again, with another theory...

Many theories have been put forth about UFOs and their pilots. It is said that some flying things are ours and some are not. There is no shortage of proof that things are flying around up there, regardless of whose.  It is also a fact that the Powers The Be (PTB) have spent much time, money, and lives denying there's anything up there. There are three 'official' explanations for Roswell, from our own government. Why the extreme effort to deny?

Given there's an unknown reason, perhaps it's technology no one wants us to have. Perhaps there's something no one wants to tell us. I'm a big boy - I want, and have the right, to be told the truth.

[Here's the out of the box part] Is it possible that ancient astronauts the pilots of the craft that aren't ours are already known and perhaps already established? That would explain a lot. Or maybe they're all ours and it's all a show.