Uplifting End of Year Post

 

At the end of every year, I like to share something uplifting. Keeping with tradition, here's the 2022 Death List. Play along - extra points for deaths you didn't know about.

Gilbert Gottfried - AFLAC!

Bob Saget - America's Funniest Deaths

Louie Anderson - oddly enough, it was cancer

Sidney Poitier - the strongest actor in the world - fought heart failure, Alzheimer's, and prostate cancer.

Michael Lang - one of 4 organizers behind Woodstock

Ronnie Spector - Be my little baby

Meat Loaf - would have lived longer if his name was Brussels Sprout

Peter Robbins - the voice of Charlie Brown

Howard Hesseman- Johnny Fever on WKRP Cincinnati

Sally Kellerman - Hot Lips

William Hurt - actor

Taylor Hawkins - Foo Fighters drummer

CW McCall - we got a big ol' convoy

Naomi Judd 

Alan White - Yes' drummer for 50 years, also John Lennon

James Caan - occasional actor, had many bit parts

Olivia Newton-John - cancer activist, occasional singer and actor

Angela Lansbury

Robbie Coltrane -  'Arry!

Jerry Lee Lewis - the Killer been killed

Dan McCafferty - "Love Hurts" - Nazareth

Christine McVie - Fleetwood Mac - wrote "Don't Stop" among many others

Kirstie Alley - Cheers, Kirstie

Aaron Carter 

Loretta Lynn

John Hartman - Doobie Brothers co-founder/drummer

Ramsey Lewis

Lamont Dozier

Brett Tuggle - keyboardist for everyone

Jim Seals - Seals and Crofts

Vangelis

Nichelle Nichols - "Lieutenant Uhura, hail St. Peter"

Cheslie Kryst - former Miss America

Green indicates they went of their own free will.

Big changes are coming to ThermionicEmissions!

The individual blog installments are published every 3 days, at 4am.

As of 2023, they will be published at 4:01am.

We try to keep things fresh for you.

Know what I hate?

Everything.

I think this will be the official motto of ThermionicEmissions.

I was thinking of doing something meaningless and vapid, so let's list our New Years resolutions!

1. expand my collection of hamster pr0n to world class status
2. get the 6th toe on my left foot included in my mani-pedi's
3. gain weight
4. stop those $&@^ing bugs from crawling up the walls
5. get taller
6. start procrastinating
7. start dating remind Wife how much I love her
8. limit flamethrower use to twice a month
9. limit plastic explosive use to four times a month
10. start a presidential campaign

I've run for president twice, so you can see how successful I've been.

The first question is whether the candidate is me or a green pen. I'm pretty sure it will be the pen this time. I have a few slogans.....

• Vote for the pen - he couldn't possibly be any worse
• No red ink!
• Pens don't have odd hair and aren't capable of cognitive decline (although this one will be accused of it)
• I sure hope it doesn't get accused of a sex scandal. The results would be.... messy. And ugly.
• Refuses to sign anything upside down
• If kidnapped, it will bleed all over the kidnapper's pocket, permanently identifying him.
• Will make other candidates green with envy
• Promises to wear his helmet whenever women are around
• No shooting heroin while driving laws
• Mandatory 5 year sentence if you get caught not bothering Congress
• No more drag shows in schools. Instead, where to find best pr0n online
• Bring back cursive writing in schools
• Bring back education in schools
• Tax breaks for the left handed

Reaction to The Pen

• Man on the street:  Yeah, pen, I think.
• 2nd man on the street: He doesn't say a lot, but makes good sense.
• 3rd man on the street: Oh, Pen. Definitely. Provided he doesn't send ink to other countries.
• President on the street: Hey, I'm afraid of this pen. He's got good ideas and I don't think I can run against him. Do I have to wear my mask at Disneyland? Kamala wants to ride the rollercoasters all day. I'll tell her it's ok, but she has to let all the People of Color ride first.

So it looks like it's the pen!

Are you in? 

SAVE YOUR MONEY

Now that we have militarized space, via Space Force, we have moved the Final Frontier.

Science is quietly making noise about interdimensional travel. You know what that means, right? Interdimensional Force. And you better hope the multiverse theory is incorrect, because you're going to have to pay for a Multiverse Force, but in every string of the multiverse. So save your money; taxes are going up. Further. 

We're not even going to discuss time travel, where Congress goes back to the 1500s and taxes everyone retroactively....

I was violently awakened at 9am the other day. I asked what was on fire, because that's the only reason for awakening me during Forced Vacation (or any vacation, weekend, weekday, or any day ending in Y). Hearing talking, I rounded it up to be Wife, as Dog can't talk (yet). She was going somewhere. I'm sure she had told me at some point. Even mostly asleep, I couldn't figure out why at 9am. This set everything out of kilter and I almost got out of bed. Almost. Through sheer will, I went back to sleep til noon, when civilized people get up.

We stopped opening the shades because there's no light outside; just clouds. This particular morning i decided why the hell not and opened the shades. I immediately wished I hadn't. 55mph winds, and it was snowing sideways. It was 29 degrees, so with winter factor, it was minus 2. This was too much for first thing in the morning, and I began to yearn for the fire at 9am. I washed my hands and wondered why I was using hot water.. I wasn't. The water was warmer than the outside temperature. I didn't want to know about the inside temperature.

Ten minutes later, a few clouds moved out of the way and we had something akin to sun. Naturally it didn't last long. The news has been atwitter with Doom stories about cold, storms, and travel interruptions. Good for them - at least they had something to talk about. Imagine how bad it would be if there were no storms forecast. Then imagine if the storm actually materialized when forecast (just kidding). 

As I type this, Mrs. lefty is making her contribution to the blog by moving things, SLAMMING things, ripping things, and keeping it constant, right in my ear. BANG BANG RIP CRASH RIP RIP CURSE BANG THROW BANG CURSE.  There's nothing more calming than to have this constant factory noise going on right next to you. If you perceive the tone of the blog as ANGRY, that might be why.

The neighbors, who have been quiet for a week, decided noise had to be made. They probably thought I was napping. It sounded like a 5,000lb bee. I figured either a drone or lawn edger, neither of which would perform too well with 35mph winds (they came down from 55 after the boys in blue gave them a ticket). If a drone could even get off the ground, it would probably only hover, if not dive strenuously to the ground. There's nothing to spy on in the neighborhood, unless you're one of those who get off on naked old people. If it were an edger, the grass would either blow back into your face, or onto my lawn. Guess which one I prefer.....

BANG BANG RIP CRASH RIP RIP CURSE BANG THROW BANG CURSE

Military Aid Makes the World Go Round

Lastly, it's still the holiday season. Keep the spirit when you read that your tax dollars helped Ukraine to the tune of $65 billion, and President Zelenskyy has asked for an additional $45 billion

In any war, the only winner is the Military Industrial Complex.

Blue Strawberries

Your love is like  hitting your finger with a stapler

• WARNING: It's that time.. pumpkin spice is back. Keep your kids off the streets and ask Dr. Fauci if we need to be vaccinated against it. If you're still using last year's pumpkin spice tires, you must keep your car six feet from all other cars.

I think it's the house. Everything turns blue eventually.

The worst is bread. Given about a day, it turns blue. Everything has to be refrigerated, including the strawberries. The only thing that doesn't grow hair is the top of my head. If it were blue, it would go unnoticed these days. Blue macaroni and cheese is the worst.

Today in Olympic News:  Something not involving a ball came close to a record in something

Today I identify as  Ultraman

• Know what's interesting? Stats show that adding more lanes to highways doesn't help.

It was a gray, rainy Saturday. The forecast was Generally Ugly.

I was (more) unpleasant, having been awakened at noon.

We took Mom out on Saturday, so Wife had the unpleasant duty of waking me. Things were even worse than normal because the ten foot pole was in the shop for a tuneup, so she had to get within arm's reach of me to get me moving. She established, long ago, that it's best not to be near me when waking me. Or when living with me.

Time is weird when being dragged, painfully, from sleep. I feel my eyelids drifting closed and want to fully support them in their efforts, but realize I can't, just before they slam shut. This usually results in one eye open and one eye shut. It takes roughly 20 minutes to fight the Waking War and actually move a centimeter. Then, with my legs hanging off the bed, it's another few minutes for them to apply themselves to the floor. Socks take a while, though. I have to generate the energy to get one on, then rest for a bit, while I consider if I want two socks that morning. It occurs to me that I should have my coffee before I wake up, making dressing so much easier.

I woke up with a headache - it was my Saturday headache. The Saturday headache is drastically different from my other headaches. I think it's my body getting even with me for getting more than six hours of sleep. It's revolting. I've been told my body is revolting for years. Normally I feel the headache and combat it by going back to sleep.

But I had to soldier on. The problem here was that the headache had invited a few of its friends. They were taking up places in my head and causing clanging noises off and on. I've never had more than one headache, so I was a bit flummoxed. After a while, the headaches started arguing. When Mom asked what I wanted for breakfast, she too was flummoxed at the small motions and tics on my face. She was concerned, because she's never seen me short of words. I'm reasonably certain one of the headaches ordered pancakes when we got to the restaurant, cuz that's what was on the plate. I have to hand it to him - he has good taste - the pancakes were great.  [IHOP Tres Leches]

One thing that pissed off millions of people at the start of social media was the people who went out to eat, took pictures of their food, and described it in detail. They became Foodies. Foodies were only slightly more popular than Furries. The reason I mentio
n this is that this blog is kind of an anti-foodie service. One reads along and sees what I like. Then one strenuously avoids it due to sugar, calorie, or fat content. This is like a free public service. Ihop had a promotional hot chocolate last year that had something like maple syrup in it. I think they called it French toast hot chocolate. It was delicious. Unfortunately it's no longer here and the waitress had never heard of it.

It's not that coffee outside my house is bad, but I prepare large travel barrels to take on the way to the restaurant. The Coffee Police should come down on Ihop and Waffle House in a serious manner.

Temporarily almost caffeinated, I ate. This calmed the inter-headache sparring. Some of them even took the rest of the afternoon off, while some came and went. It was near 5:00 when I got home, without my first nap. Sometimes my first nap comes as I transition from the bed to the couch, so this was a glaring problem, as reinforced by the headaches. They stopped arguing and decided to work together for evil, teaming up to sing some current hits. I threatened them with "Tie a Yellow Ribbon" and they quieted down. Stuffed for the next seventeen hours, I did what was right for my body and started my first nap. When I got up, a few hours later, the headaches were gone. Let this be a lesson to me... if I take naps, the singing stops? Was this a cluster headache, because there were so fsking many of them? And to stop getting up before 1:00 on weekends.

• Yes, the food and culture are great, but why live in New Orleans? The entire city is without power due to Hurricane Ida. No matter what happens, New Orleans gets it. It's like the state flag says "Hey hurricane - come get me - nyah nyah!" 
• some areas won't have power for weeks

How are broken clouds different from scattered clouds? Or mostly cloudy? Or mostly sunny? I've obviously been checking the weather today, in a last ditch effort to avoid.....  mowing.  On the other hand, it's more difficult to mow wet grass and it grows faster due to too much rain. When I first visited the southwest, I noticed few lawns. It was a life-changing experience for me.  [notice I didn't say g*me ch*nger]

Every other house on the block has nice grass. I mow weeds, that grow while I'm cutting them. My grass is the kind that doesn't need sun - only rain. It's perfect for the climate. It's called Philly Raingrass.

• is it funny that I can't even get my own relatives and friends to read this blog? I feel really weird about sending out an email, asking them to check it out. Got any suggestions?

I just saw a listing for "Politics Nation with Rev Al Sharpton."

Remember: the two people who watch it vote and their vote counts as much as yours.

• President Taxes called on leaders to mandate vaccines
• #ImpeachBiden

I'm not suggesting you get your shots or not - that's your decision. I will not have mandates, especially the kind that come from government. The shutting down of businesses by state government was a disaster. Nanny State needs to be stopped. You're old enough to make your own decisions.

• Faceyspaces has trackers in 25% of its websites and 61% of the most popular apps
• I don't use Faceyspaces, but I'd advise using 'private browsing' windows for all browsing. When you close them, everything gets deleted.

Moderna Vaccine Shipment Crashes, Prompting Hazmat Cleanup and Shuttering of Airspace

Huh?

And we put this in our bodies?  

• Federal government to expand use of facial recognition despite growing concerns
• They don't care what you think, they don't care if it's illegal or unconstitutional - they're the government

 

With all that's wrong with Google and Gmail, I have to give their spam filter credit. The worst I've had is a few false positives.

• Ok, we all have musical guilty pleasures. Right now I'm listening to Slade. What's yours?

 

[Guitar Only]

I have no idea what possessed me, but I bought a Vox VBM1, the Brian May model. It's small, white, and looks like an AC30 put in a dryer and shrunk down to roughly 12" across.

It has just a few knobs, which is good for guitar players, who can't handle complex equipment. It has a switch too. Save the limited space in your brain and leave the switch depressed (or you'll be depressed).  The knobs are GAIN, TONE, and VOLUME. GAIN controls distortion, you should know the rest. The switch is a gain switch. There is a preamp output, as well as a few others.

How does it sound? Depends on how long you've been playing and what you're looking for out of an amp. The thing is much louder than it looks. The clean tone is... among the most recent clean tones I've ever heard. The fun here is with the GAIN switch depressed (not depressed is lower gain, which didn't sound at all good). You can control the GAIN by degrees with the GAIN knob. This is a real powerhouse of a gain box. It can take you over the top, where there's too much gain (did I say that?). 

Let's be real: this will not make you sound like Brian May. It was put together to emulate his Deacy amp, built by bandmate John Deacon, out of an old transistor radio. The Deacy was used on several older Queen songs (none of which I remember). As it is, it's a really fun toy. The hidden key is the preamp output. Brian uses a treble booster to overload his amps, so this is allegedly the same circuitry. You can plug the guitar into the Vox, run the preamp output to your real tube amp (Brian uses 9 Vox AC30s live) and punch the hell out of the front end of the amp(s). Hang in for a review using the amp this way. May isn't the only famous player to use a booster in front of his amp. Jimmy Page used a number of Tone Benders. If you look closely, Ritchie Blackmore used a reel to reel deck into his Marshalls. Tony Iommi used a sledgehammer.

OVERALL: it's another cute living room toy. The amp itself is cheaper than some of the current treble boosters, so consider that. It's a decent, cheap practice amp. I don't have a lot of use for it. Will probably sell or trade. It's between $250-$300 used. For May enthusiasts, there's also the Digitech pedal that gives you a bunch of his signature tones. That's going to cost you around $300+ used at this time. Unless you sing like Freddy Mercury, it's unlikely to get you laid.

kudos to me for reviewing something put out years and years ago.

I will not be reviewing the mini Marshall stack because someone bought it before I did.

Think of the money I saved.

• Oh poop - right-wing NRA hottie Dana Loesch is married

Taliban militants stormed a Kabul tv station to demand anchor praise the terror group

Over here, that's just network news (without the storming).

 

Star Trek: Covid 19

 Your love is like  whatever they put in bologna

As we know, there is not an original thought in Hollywood, so all pictures must have a number after them. I have ideas for the next picture. It goes back to the original Star Trek, with Kirk. I need to flesh it out before I send it to Hollywood, cuz you know I have Big Connections<tm>. I only play minor blogger on tv.

Dramatis Personae:

Spock: immune to the Flying AIDS because Chinese bats don't suck green blood. The only one who doesn't have to socially distance, but doesn't care. Later on, they find out he's a carrier,

Kirk: runs around the galaxy, giving the Flying AIDS to everyone. #1 spreader. This is worse than the Intergalactic Chlamydia Incident.

Bones: Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a drug company. You're asking me to produce a vaccine in a year? It can't be done. Or done right.

Scottie: Cap'n, I cannae switch the dilithium crystals to make masks fast enough.

Uhura: I always preferred communicating with my Bluetooth earpiece. I know you enjoy the fact that my chest arrives before the rest of me, but you socially distance or I'll beam you to the Moon.

Checkov: Flying AIDS waccine better in Russia.

Sulu: Checkov - I think I dropped my pen again. Could you grab that for me? Thanks. We wouldn't want to get closer than 6', would we [wink]?

Gorgeous nurse with tall hair: Captain... after your vaccine, I need some cream in my coffee.

Less gorgeous nurse with tall hair: Oh Spock, share your antibodies with me..

Red Shirt Crewman: I'll fight the Flying AIDS without a mask. It's not even a real virus.

Ladies and Gentlemen, set your phasers on disinfect for this wild romp across the universe to fight a virus for better ratings.

• Speaking of more useless Hollywood news, product placement may soon be coming to classic films. Yes, you can watch famous dead movie stars hawking Coke or other essential products.
• You can rest assured this will do nothing to lower the prices of the movies or cut the amount of commercials down

An elderly man was paroled after decades in prison, for murder.

He stands accused of murdering again, after he got out.

You can take the murderer out of the neighborhood but you can't take the murder out of the murderer. Did I get that right?

• it was 7:40 the other night.
• it wasn't totally dark

Today I identify as  a very dusty fan that you need to take apart and clean before you use it, even though you need it right now 

• uh-oh... America is running at 38.5% vaccinated and the lines are getting shorter...

The Arkansas House passed an unconstitutional bill putting creationism in schools. I don't care what you believe - just don't mandate the teaching of it. The 1st Amendment is there to prevent this, yet it is constantly under assault. Parts of the Pentagon don't want to deal with UFOs because they're 'demonic'. Is this what religion does to your mind? 

• Marvel releases its first Asian superhero
• flys, does not drive 

Horrible Tesla news: 2 men killed 'without driver' in seat.

Apparently 'hard of reading', they didn't see the part where Tesla says a human driver is meant to be fully alert and in control at all times. It's not fully autonomous. The US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is looking into 27 Tesla crashes.

Hey Bob - let's stand on these motorcycle handlebars while riding!

Hey Bob2 - let's drive blindfolded!

Hey Bob - let's let the Tesla drive by itself! We'll sit in the back and it'll be like our own limo and stuff!

You can build something, but you can't require comprehension or an IQ test to purchase it.

• America's doctor, Anthony Fauci, said 
• "You dramatically diminish" possible Covid infection with a vaccine, but vaccinated people could still carry infection.”
• just wear them forever.... wear 3 or 4! Put them on your feet!

• they set fire to an Apple store in Portland
• even I wouldn't set fire to an Apple store
• the paper is now calling them Marchers  - apparently Peaceful Looters isn't PC
• they've been in Portland almost a year
• apparently this is ok

Microsoft received almost 25,000 requests for consumer data from law enforcement over the past 6 months.

Why does your operating system have your data?  

Be vewy quiet. I'm hunting hand gwenades.

A Cape May, New Jersey, yard sale was found to have a hand grenade for sale.

The police brought in the bomb squad, who took it away.

This goes to show you that if you're looking for a good deal on a hand grenade or other explosives, don't call the police! 

they didn't even pay for the grenade.

HEADLINE: Female face shaving is more common than you think

naturally it's called dermaplaning, because you can't call it what it is.

Being pushed by 'influencers'.

Ya know, if you get your influences from the internet, you deserve to shave. And to wear toilet paper on the cuts. 

Pretty soon the hair salon will offer a complete de-hairing service: eyebrow messing, face shaving, twat waxing, anal bleaching, nipple hair braiding, and anything else the next crop of 'influencers' come up with.

Last week, Cindy Scum touted the shaving only your left side look. Half of San Francisco discovered Bobbi Slave's left-only jackets.

Within a month, the dermaplaning thing will have gone the way of cat eyes and the new thing will be full mustaches. If you can't grow the full thing, there will be male hormones available. If you don't want to grow a penis for fashion (fashion is supposed to hurt), you can buy the new Revlon Stash Enhancer or the Lee Press-On Mustache. Lee has really taken off after their most successful project to date, the press-on man bun, so you can look stupid part time, or if you have male pattern baldness.

Somebody asked me what the weather forecast was. I opened my weather app and rattled it off. People can't help but be confused by this... clouds. Since it's generally miserable here, we have clouds. But we don't have just clouds... we have partly cloudy, few clouds, overcast clouds, broken clouds, scattered clouds, ninja clouds, ohmygod clouds, wtf cloudsagain, and 137 types of rain. Most of these even show up in the weather app. Except..

Kardashian clouds: cover absolutely everything, people are fascinated by them, only seen with dark clouds, the clouds with the biggest asses on the planet

Donald Trump clouds: the best clouds; get blamed for all rain, whether they caused it or not

Anthony Fauci clouds: they may be clouds, they may not be clouds, but use 2 umbrellas always

SJW clouds: a symbol of white cloud privilege - there should be more dark clouds providing rain

my genitalia clouds: they don't come out often

A Polish animal control group was called because an unidentifiable animal was terrorizing the residents of a street in Krakow. The woman said the creature had been terrorizing the her neighbors for two days. People were afraid to open their windows.

The unidentified animal turned out to be a croissant.

Poland is doing itself no favors to rid itself of the constant stream of stupid Polish jokes.

Polish Lady: I need to report some sort of animal or something

SPCA: What does it look like?

Polish Lady: It's brown.

SPCA: What's it doing?

Polish Lady: It's sitting, menacingly, in a tree

SPCA: is it moving?

Polish Lady: No. That's what's so scary about it.

SPCA: has it caused any damage?

Polish Lady: Yes, my neighbors are afraid to leave the windows open

SPCA: but has it bitten or defecated on anybody?

Polish Lady: No, but we don't like the way it looks. It threatened my son.

[SPCA comes out]

SPCA: Ma'am, the neighborhood is now safe.

Polish Lady: Thank God. What kind of animal was it.

SPCA: it was French

Polish Lady: What is it called?

SPCA: a Polish Croissant.

Polish Lady: are you going to dispose of it?

SPCA: No, Ma'am, we've referred the case to Dunkin Donuts, Special Emergency Croissant Squad. I hope they have a ladder. 

Polish Lady: Godspeed, Dunkin.

Naturally the whole thing was covered on Faceyspaces.

Q. What's the only thing scarier than Dracula in your house?

A. a croissant in a tree

Last week, the entire neighborhood was locked down after someone's mask fell on the ground. There were reports of children and pets being attacked. And Dracula... always Dracula.

Captivity - Day 45 Leave the blasting caps home, jimmy

Dammit, it's weird here.
Moreso.

Since it's a day ending in -Y, the Advanced Coordinated Stereo Lawnmowing Team is out. They have recharged and tuned their instruments, making sure to remove all mufflers. They sounded like one of those SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY commercials, only louder. Their new routine is Synchronized Mowing, whereby they do everything together, from starting, to cutting, to cleaning and hacking up some of the neighbors, and throwing them in the truck. They have a sensor on my phone and in my office, so that when I'm on a call, their mowers go into overdrive. It's fully automatic.

If the mowers somehow run out of gas simultaneously, there's no reason to worry - I live with a percussionist. She had to turn Santana down this year because she wanted to be locally magnificent. She'll somehow break into a percussion solo mid-day or so. This is generally after the mowers stop. The mowers are merely an opening act for the percussion. Percussion also waits until a work call comes in. How do they know? She loves to spontaneously bash some shit, pretending it's my head, then if she can get it loud enough to kill birds.


Hey - yuh know what's going on outside?
Neither do I.

Aside from some memories of a woman arrested on a licking spree. What the hell... didn't we have knife and gun crime? Now we have licking. Next year it'll be a looking spree. Just so you don't feel alone, there have also been blowing nose and a KKK hat sprees. America is a beautiful place, when it's not watching Furries on tv.

Later tonight, Mrs lefty is going to have one of those Telehealth doctor appointments. The substance of the call is a doctor calling you, instead of seeing you in-person. But noooo.... we can't call it that... no sir... we have to give it a special name -Telehealth. The joke, however, is on them, as they get less money for a telehealth visit than a Regular Vitsit, She has the choice of video or audio. This means a video conferencing service or what they refer to as an incredibly complex device with a name that's difficult to pronounce but sounds something like fone. It's like a video conference without the video. The real fun is if you choose phone: while the doctor is talking, you can make faces and blow your nose in his general direction. If you mute the phone, you can even stand there and imitate him. So if you're really bored, and who among us isn't, select the audio only option. NOTE: make sure to use the MUTE function before you start your impressions. Trust me.

Before we sign off, we want to remind you of a word that says it all... a word that will be with us for years.. a word you can use to show your friends how much smarter you are. Yes, it's teledildonics. It is an actual word, for technology to manipulate 'devices' remotely. Use it with pride.

Doggie Diary

Hi, diary, it's Penny.

After running away from bad people, I went to live with other English cockers in a southern state. Six months later, I got on this thing called a plane, which absolutely sucked (no treats) and went to my new home.

Day 1
The people are nice. I like my new house and yard.
It's cold here. Very cold.

Day 2
I really like my new mommy and daddy. They give me treats and rub my belly. I sleep in their bed. Sometimes I let them lay on their pillows with me.

My yard isn't as big as down south, but it's big enough.
There are many birds in my airspace and squirrels to chase.
There are many people walking by my house to bark at. Repeatedly and loudly.
But it's gray. Always. And still cold.

Day 3
Mommy gave me this thing called whipped cream, which I ate from her cup. I love her.
It rained today.  I remember sun.

Day 4
Dad has a temper, but he rubs my belly a lot. I curl up on his lap and he calls me his spaniel seatbelt.
There's some white, cold stuff coming from the sky. I've never seen it before. It's disgusting. And the sky is still gray.

Day 5
It was sunny!!! Yay!!! From 7:45 to 7:46.
I got chicken for breakfast. It was good. I want more.
It's cold and gray, but at least it's not snowing.



I love my parents, but somebody please get me out of here!
I can take them down south, where it's nice.
Dad's right when he says it's not a climate - it's a plague.

Here I am, helping fold the laundry