At the end of every year, I like to share something uplifting. Keeping with tradition, here's the 2022 Death List. Play along - extra points for deaths you didn't know about.
Gilbert Gottfried - AFLAC!
Bob Saget - America's Funniest Deaths
Louie Anderson - oddly enough, it was cancer
Sidney Poitier - the strongest actor in the world - fought heart failure, Alzheimer's, and prostate cancer.
Michael Lang - one of 4 organizers behind Woodstock
Ronnie Spector - Be my little baby
Meat Loaf - would have lived longer if his name was Brussels Sprout
Peter Robbins - the voice of Charlie Brown
Howard Hesseman- Johnny Fever on WKRP Cincinnati
Sally Kellerman - Hot Lips
William Hurt - actor
Taylor Hawkins - Foo Fighters drummer
CW McCall - we got a big ol' convoy
Naomi Judd
Alan White - Yes' drummer for 50 years, also John Lennon
James Caan - occasional actor, had many bit parts
Olivia Newton-John - cancer activist, occasional singer and actor
Angela Lansbury
Robbie Coltrane - 'Arry!
Jerry Lee Lewis - the Killer been killed
Dan McCafferty - "Love Hurts" - Nazareth
Christine McVie - Fleetwood Mac - wrote "Don't Stop" among many others
Kirstie Alley - Cheers, Kirstie
Aaron Carter
Loretta Lynn
John Hartman - Doobie Brothers co-founder/drummer
Ramsey Lewis
Lamont Dozier
Brett Tuggle - keyboardist for everyone
Jim Seals - Seals and Crofts
Vangelis
Nichelle Nichols - "Lieutenant Uhura, hail St. Peter"
Cheslie Kryst - former Miss America
Green indicates they went of their own free will.
Big changes are coming to ThermionicEmissions!
The individual blog installments are published every 3 days, at 4am.
As of 2023, they will be published at 4:01am.
We try to keep things fresh for you.
Know what I hate?
Everything.
I think this will be the official motto of ThermionicEmissions.
I was thinking of doing something meaningless and vapid, so let's list our New Years resolutions!
- expand my collection of hamster pr0n to world class status
- get the 6th toe on my left foot included in my mani-pedi's
- gain weight
- stop those $&@^ing bugs from crawling up the walls
- get taller
- start procrastinating
start dating remind Wife how much I love her- limit flamethrower use to twice a month
- limit plastic explosive use to four times a month
- start a presidential campaign
I've run for president twice, so you can see how successful I've been.
The first question is whether the candidate is me or a green pen. I'm pretty sure it will be the pen this time. I have a few slogans.....
- Vote for the pen - he couldn't possibly be any worse
- No red ink!
- Pens don't have odd hair and aren't capable of cognitive decline (although this one will be accused of it)
- I sure hope it doesn't get accused of a sex scandal. The results would be.... messy. And ugly.
- Refuses to sign anything upside down
- If kidnapped, it will bleed all over the kidnapper's pocket, permanently identifying him.
- Will make other candidates green with envy
- Promises to wear his helmet whenever women are around
- No shooting heroin while driving laws
- Mandatory 5 year sentence if you get caught not bothering Congress
- No more drag shows in schools. Instead, where to find best pr0n online
- Bring back cursive writing in schools
- Bring back education in schools
- Tax breaks for the left handed
Reaction to The Pen
- Man on the street: Yeah, pen, I think.
- 2nd man on the street: He doesn't say a lot, but makes good sense.
- 3rd man on the street: Oh, Pen. Definitely. Provided he doesn't send ink to other countries.
- President on the street: Hey, I'm afraid of this pen. He's got good ideas and I don't think I can run against him. Do I have to wear my mask at Disneyland? Kamala wants to ride the rollercoasters all day. I'll tell her it's ok, but she has to let all the People of Color ride first.
So it looks like it's the pen!
Are you in?
SAVE YOUR MONEY
Now that we have militarized space, via Space Force, we have moved the Final Frontier.
Science is quietly making noise about interdimensional travel. You know what that means, right? Interdimensional Force. And you better hope the multiverse theory is incorrect, because you're going to have to pay for a Multiverse Force, but in every string of the multiverse. So save your money; taxes are going up. Further.
We're not even going to discuss time travel, where Congress goes back to the 1500s and taxes everyone retroactively....
I was violently awakened at 9am the other day. I asked what was on fire, because that's the only reason for awakening me during Forced Vacation (or any vacation, weekend, weekday, or any day ending in Y). Hearing talking, I rounded it up to be Wife, as Dog can't talk (yet). She was going somewhere. I'm sure she had told me at some point. Even mostly asleep, I couldn't figure out why at 9am. This set everything out of kilter and I almost got out of bed. Almost. Through sheer will, I went back to sleep til noon, when civilized people get up.
We stopped opening the shades because there's no light outside; just clouds. This particular morning i decided why the hell not and opened the shades. I immediately wished I hadn't. 55mph winds, and it was snowing sideways. It was 29 degrees, so with winter factor, it was minus 2. This was too much for first thing in the morning, and I began to yearn for the fire at 9am. I washed my hands and wondered why I was using hot water.. I wasn't. The water was warmer than the outside temperature. I didn't want to know about the inside temperature.
Ten minutes later, a few clouds moved out of the way and we had something akin to sun. Naturally it didn't last long. The news has been atwitter with Doom stories about cold, storms, and travel interruptions. Good for them - at least they had something to talk about. Imagine how bad it would be if there were no storms forecast. Then imagine if the storm actually materialized when forecast (just kidding).
As I type this, Mrs. lefty is making her contribution to the blog by moving things, SLAMMING things, ripping things, and keeping it constant, right in my ear. BANG BANG RIP CRASH RIP RIP CURSE BANG THROW BANG CURSE. There's nothing more calming than to have this constant factory noise going on right next to you. If you perceive the tone of the blog as ANGRY, that might be why.
The neighbors, who have been quiet for a week, decided noise had to be made. They probably thought I was napping. It sounded like a 5,000lb bee. I figured either a drone or lawn edger, neither of which would perform too well with 35mph winds (they came down from 55 after the boys in blue gave them a ticket). If a drone could even get off the ground, it would probably only hover, if not dive strenuously to the ground. There's nothing to spy on in the neighborhood, unless you're one of those who get off on naked old people. If it were an edger, the grass would either blow back into your face, or onto my lawn. Guess which one I prefer.....
BANG BANG RIP CRASH RIP RIP CURSE BANG THROW BANG CURSE
Military Aid Makes the World Go Round
Lastly, it's still the holiday season. Keep the spirit when you read that your tax dollars helped Ukraine to the tune of $65 billion, and President Zelenskyy has asked for an additional $45 billion
In any war, the only winner is the Military Industrial Complex.
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