You Just Can't Get There from Here

I got the snail mail the other day.  The mail that even used car owners detest: the recall notice.  Yes, my five year old car has been recalled.  It went on for a few pages but the best I can pull out of it is that there's something wrong with the suspension, which will result in either nothing or horiffic collision and catastrophic fire if ignored.

I'm going to take it to the dealer, as I'm simply not in the mood for catastrophic fire during the holidays. It probably just hates the weather here, as do I.

Last year, you might remember, our car was almost ruined by one of the local suicidal deer.  Perhaps it's a seasonal thing.

Things Just Ain't What They Used to Be

I may have detailed my rapid exit from Baskin Robbins or I may not have.  We had this lovely Baskin Robbins around the corner from my house, where we'd go to get our favorite ice cream confections.  I could be counted on for roughly the same thing every time: cookie dough ice cream with marshmallow topping.  There was something about their marshmallow topping that really set off the ice cream.

Time went on and Baskin Robbins closed [horrors!].  For whatever reason, Baskin Robbins started sharing space with Dunkin Donuts (my wife's motto: Do Not Pass Dunkin Donuts' coffee, Do Not Collect Two Hundred Dollars).

The first time I went into one of these establishments, I had high hopes for the combination.  That was, right up until I placed my order.  They had the cookie dough ice cream but the did not have the marshmallow topping.  Oh, the humanity!

Have you ever tried to explain marshmallow topping to an Eastern Indian gentleman whose first language is not english?  Suffice it to say that the New and Improved Baskin Robbins does not carry marshmallow topping.  Cross that one off.  I even emailed Corporate (and got no response).

Flash forward many years to my dear nephews wanting an ice cream cake in the shape of a turkey.  Their dear mother promised them one, yet failed to consider how to obtain it.  Even I know that you do NOT promise something to a child that you cannot deliver.

Since my sis-in-law suggested Carvel, I started there.  Much like the Great Marshmallow Crisis of 2013, Carvel presented me with a problem: if I wanted to purchase a turkey cake, I'd have to drive to the next state.  If I wanted to order one online, I only had to drive about fifty miles to pick it up.  So much for Carvel.

Next up was [wait for it...]  Baskin Robbins.  We set off to order a cake at the Baskin Robbins/Dunkin Donuts down the street.  We figured while there, why not get some ice cream (since it was the coldest day of the year anyway).

Halleleujah -we located the turkey cake, which came in many sizes with many ice cream choices.  We went to order it and were told that they only accepted orders in the morning.

In the morning?

Yes, in the morning.

Apparently Universal Alignment somehow dictates whether an employee can take a cake order.  Maybe there was feng shui involved too - it's certainly over my pay grade.  Maybe the only employee capable of filling out an order form works mornings.  Let's face it - you want to disrupt the coffee and donut ordering with cake ordering in the morning, right?

So we got some ice cream anyway.  The lady behind the counter knew what marshmallow was.  She also knew she didn't carry it (it was worth a try).  Off we went to eat our ice cream when we had to get back in line: she had not provided us with spoons.  I don't know if they were extra or we were expected to consume the ice cream like my dog undoubtedly would.

The next morning my wife returned to order the cake.  The same lady who couldn't take our order and didn't believe in spoons took her order.  To make things more interesting, the cake only came in one size (not the one advertised) and with limited ice cream choices.  It was also hideously expensive (we could have bought two Carvel cakes).

I think we've been more than fair to Baskin Robbins.  Not so much the other way.

Current Events: Ice Cream

Since I packed up and moved to Blogger/Blogspot, I haven't done a single piece on a very important part of life: food.

It is indeed true that everybody likes ice cream.  My tastes vary according to availability.  Way back when, I discovered Baskin Robbins' Cookie Dough ice cream with marshmallow topping.  It served me for years beyond count.  But then something terrible happened: Baskin Robbins closed their stores and merged with Dunkin Donuts to the point where they physically coexist.  Unfortunately that meant the end of marshamallow topping.  To this day, I cannot tell you why.

Unfortunately the owner/operators of the Dunkin Robbins are right with me in terms of not knowing why there's no marshmallow topping.  The first time I walked into one, I asked for marshmallow topping and the nice fellow just looked at me as if I had spoken Swahili.  This is not at all a new expression for me, so it didn't register.  It might be said that I had spoken a different language, in the most cliche sense of the phrase, as the fellow didn't have a clue what a marshmallow was.

Visits to other Baskin Donuts confirmed the sad news.  Being a resourceful little turd, I got right on the Baskin website and emailed them as if my life depended on it.  Rest assured that Baskin Robbins took my request very seriously.  I am going to go ahead and assume that they took it so seriously that they bounced it up the chain.  Several times.  So far and so frequently that it was either deemed a trade secret that could not be divulged or they just plain ignored me.  This is not at all a new result for me.

The old standby is Breyers Vanilla, but only the kind with Real Vanilla Bean Specs<tm>.  A short while back we discovered Edy's, which comes in all sorts of interesting flavors.  The most interesting flavor by far turned out to be Ice Cream Sandwich.  Have you ever had an ice cream sandwich?  Of course you have - everybody loves ice cream sandwiches.  Edy's Ice Cream Sandwich tastes like they took a whole box of ice cream sandwiches and ground them down into an ice cream container.  It's frighteningly realistic.

Naturally it has become near impossible to locate Ice Cream Sandwich so we're left to try out whatever's around.  Yesterday my wife came home with two new Edy's flavors: Triple Chocolate Peanut Butter and Smores.  Historically, peanut butter ice cream has always failed me and this was no exception.  The wife said that triple chocolate would fail her and it did.  I had trouble figuring out what about triple chocolate didn't work but then again, I like chocolate a little too much (or so I hear).

Smores, on the other hand, was a huge hit with everyone.  If you like the Girl Scout Cookies of the same name, you'll love this ice cream (even though they're not made with real girl scouts).  If you don't like smores (or coconut), avoid this ice cream.

I advise you to get out and pick up a container or six now, before someone discovers I really like it and pulls it from the shelves forever.