Tuesday, November 26, 2013

You Just Can't Get There from Here

I got the snail mail the other day.  The mail that even used car owners detest: the recall notice.  Yes, my five year old car has been recalled.  It went on for a few pages but the best I can pull out of it is that there's something wrong with the suspension, which will result in either nothing or horiffic collision and catastrophic fire if ignored.

I'm going to take it to the dealer, as I'm simply not in the mood for catastrophic fire during the holidays. It probably just hates the weather here, as do I.

Last year, you might remember, our car was almost ruined by one of the local suicidal deer.  Perhaps it's a seasonal thing.

Things Just Ain't What They Used to Be

I may have detailed my rapid exit from Baskin Robbins or I may not have.  We had this lovely Baskin Robbins around the corner from my house, where we'd go to get our favorite ice cream confections.  I could be counted on for roughly the same thing every time: cookie dough ice cream with marshmallow topping.  There was something about their marshmallow topping that really set off the ice cream.

Time went on and Baskin Robbins closed [horrors!].  For whatever reason, Baskin Robbins started sharing space with Dunkin Donuts (my wife's motto: Do Not Pass Dunkin Donuts' coffee, Do Not Collect Two Hundred Dollars).

The first time I went into one of these establishments, I had high hopes for the combination.  That was, right up until I placed my order.  They had the cookie dough ice cream but the did not have the marshmallow topping.  Oh, the humanity!

Have you ever tried to explain marshmallow topping to an Eastern Indian gentleman whose first language is not english?  Suffice it to say that the New and Improved Baskin Robbins does not carry marshmallow topping.  Cross that one off.  I even emailed Corporate (and got no response).

Flash forward many years to my dear nephews wanting an ice cream cake in the shape of a turkey.  Their dear mother promised them one, yet failed to consider how to obtain it.  Even I know that you do NOT promise something to a child that you cannot deliver.

Since my sis-in-law suggested Carvel, I started there.  Much like the Great Marshmallow Crisis of 2013, Carvel presented me with a problem: if I wanted to purchase a turkey cake, I'd have to drive to the next state.  If I wanted to order one online, I only had to drive about fifty miles to pick it up.  So much for Carvel.

Next up was [wait for it...]  Baskin Robbins.  We set off to order a cake at the Baskin Robbins/Dunkin Donuts down the street.  We figured while there, why not get some ice cream (since it was the coldest day of the year anyway).

Halleleujah -we located the turkey cake, which came in many sizes with many ice cream choices.  We went to order it and were told that they only accepted orders in the morning.

In the morning?

Yes, in the morning.

Apparently Universal Alignment somehow dictates whether an employee can take a cake order.  Maybe there was feng shui involved too - it's certainly over my pay grade.  Maybe the only employee capable of filling out an order form works mornings.  Let's face it - you want to disrupt the coffee and donut ordering with cake ordering in the morning, right?

So we got some ice cream anyway.  The lady behind the counter knew what marshmallow was.  She also knew she didn't carry it (it was worth a try).  Off we went to eat our ice cream when we had to get back in line: she had not provided us with spoons.  I don't know if they were extra or we were expected to consume the ice cream like my dog undoubtedly would.

The next morning my wife returned to order the cake.  The same lady who couldn't take our order and didn't believe in spoons took her order.  To make things more interesting, the cake only came in one size (not the one advertised) and with limited ice cream choices.  It was also hideously expensive (we could have bought two Carvel cakes).

I think we've been more than fair to Baskin Robbins.  Not so much the other way.

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