Uplifting End of Year Post

 

At the end of every year, I like to share something uplifting. Keeping with tradition, here's the 2022 Death List. Play along - extra points for deaths you didn't know about.

Gilbert Gottfried - AFLAC!

Bob Saget - America's Funniest Deaths

Louie Anderson - oddly enough, it was cancer

Sidney Poitier - the strongest actor in the world - fought heart failure, Alzheimer's, and prostate cancer.

Michael Lang - one of 4 organizers behind Woodstock

Ronnie Spector - Be my little baby

Meat Loaf - would have lived longer if his name was Brussels Sprout

Peter Robbins - the voice of Charlie Brown

Howard Hesseman- Johnny Fever on WKRP Cincinnati

Sally Kellerman - Hot Lips

William Hurt - actor

Taylor Hawkins - Foo Fighters drummer

CW McCall - we got a big ol' convoy

Naomi Judd 

Alan White - Yes' drummer for 50 years, also John Lennon

James Caan - occasional actor, had many bit parts

Olivia Newton-John - cancer activist, occasional singer and actor

Angela Lansbury

Robbie Coltrane -  'Arry!

Jerry Lee Lewis - the Killer been killed

Dan McCafferty - "Love Hurts" - Nazareth

Christine McVie - Fleetwood Mac - wrote "Don't Stop" among many others

Kirstie Alley - Cheers, Kirstie

Aaron Carter 

Loretta Lynn

John Hartman - Doobie Brothers co-founder/drummer

Ramsey Lewis

Lamont Dozier

Brett Tuggle - keyboardist for everyone

Jim Seals - Seals and Crofts

Vangelis

Nichelle Nichols - "Lieutenant Uhura, hail St. Peter"

Cheslie Kryst - former Miss America

Green indicates they went of their own free will.

Big changes are coming to ThermionicEmissions!

The individual blog installments are published every 3 days, at 4am.

As of 2023, they will be published at 4:01am.

We try to keep things fresh for you.

Know what I hate?

Everything.

I think this will be the official motto of ThermionicEmissions.

I was thinking of doing something meaningless and vapid, so let's list our New Years resolutions!

1. expand my collection of hamster pr0n to world class status
2. get the 6th toe on my left foot included in my mani-pedi's
3. gain weight
4. stop those $&@^ing bugs from crawling up the walls
5. get taller
6. start procrastinating
7. start dating remind Wife how much I love her
8. limit flamethrower use to twice a month
9. limit plastic explosive use to four times a month
10. start a presidential campaign

I've run for president twice, so you can see how successful I've been.

The first question is whether the candidate is me or a green pen. I'm pretty sure it will be the pen this time. I have a few slogans.....

• Vote for the pen - he couldn't possibly be any worse
• No red ink!
• Pens don't have odd hair and aren't capable of cognitive decline (although this one will be accused of it)
• I sure hope it doesn't get accused of a sex scandal. The results would be.... messy. And ugly.
• Refuses to sign anything upside down
• If kidnapped, it will bleed all over the kidnapper's pocket, permanently identifying him.
• Will make other candidates green with envy
• Promises to wear his helmet whenever women are around
• No shooting heroin while driving laws
• Mandatory 5 year sentence if you get caught not bothering Congress
• No more drag shows in schools. Instead, where to find best pr0n online
• Bring back cursive writing in schools
• Bring back education in schools
• Tax breaks for the left handed

Reaction to The Pen

• Man on the street:  Yeah, pen, I think.
• 2nd man on the street: He doesn't say a lot, but makes good sense.
• 3rd man on the street: Oh, Pen. Definitely. Provided he doesn't send ink to other countries.
• President on the street: Hey, I'm afraid of this pen. He's got good ideas and I don't think I can run against him. Do I have to wear my mask at Disneyland? Kamala wants to ride the rollercoasters all day. I'll tell her it's ok, but she has to let all the People of Color ride first.

So it looks like it's the pen!

Are you in? 

SAVE YOUR MONEY

Now that we have militarized space, via Space Force, we have moved the Final Frontier.

Science is quietly making noise about interdimensional travel. You know what that means, right? Interdimensional Force. And you better hope the multiverse theory is incorrect, because you're going to have to pay for a Multiverse Force, but in every string of the multiverse. So save your money; taxes are going up. Further. 

We're not even going to discuss time travel, where Congress goes back to the 1500s and taxes everyone retroactively....

I was violently awakened at 9am the other day. I asked what was on fire, because that's the only reason for awakening me during Forced Vacation (or any vacation, weekend, weekday, or any day ending in Y). Hearing talking, I rounded it up to be Wife, as Dog can't talk (yet). She was going somewhere. I'm sure she had told me at some point. Even mostly asleep, I couldn't figure out why at 9am. This set everything out of kilter and I almost got out of bed. Almost. Through sheer will, I went back to sleep til noon, when civilized people get up.

We stopped opening the shades because there's no light outside; just clouds. This particular morning i decided why the hell not and opened the shades. I immediately wished I hadn't. 55mph winds, and it was snowing sideways. It was 29 degrees, so with winter factor, it was minus 2. This was too much for first thing in the morning, and I began to yearn for the fire at 9am. I washed my hands and wondered why I was using hot water.. I wasn't. The water was warmer than the outside temperature. I didn't want to know about the inside temperature.

Ten minutes later, a few clouds moved out of the way and we had something akin to sun. Naturally it didn't last long. The news has been atwitter with Doom stories about cold, storms, and travel interruptions. Good for them - at least they had something to talk about. Imagine how bad it would be if there were no storms forecast. Then imagine if the storm actually materialized when forecast (just kidding). 

As I type this, Mrs. lefty is making her contribution to the blog by moving things, SLAMMING things, ripping things, and keeping it constant, right in my ear. BANG BANG RIP CRASH RIP RIP CURSE BANG THROW BANG CURSE.  There's nothing more calming than to have this constant factory noise going on right next to you. If you perceive the tone of the blog as ANGRY, that might be why.

The neighbors, who have been quiet for a week, decided noise had to be made. They probably thought I was napping. It sounded like a 5,000lb bee. I figured either a drone or lawn edger, neither of which would perform too well with 35mph winds (they came down from 55 after the boys in blue gave them a ticket). If a drone could even get off the ground, it would probably only hover, if not dive strenuously to the ground. There's nothing to spy on in the neighborhood, unless you're one of those who get off on naked old people. If it were an edger, the grass would either blow back into your face, or onto my lawn. Guess which one I prefer.....

BANG BANG RIP CRASH RIP RIP CURSE BANG THROW BANG CURSE

Military Aid Makes the World Go Round

Lastly, it's still the holiday season. Keep the spirit when you read that your tax dollars helped Ukraine to the tune of $65 billion, and President Zelenskyy has asked for an additional $45 billion

In any war, the only winner is the Military Industrial Complex.

Celebrate! 9-11

 It's been 20 years.

20 sad years.

We lost around 3,000 people.

The event was used as a pretext for invasion.

The event gave us the Homeland Security industry for spending money and violating rights.

We got an investigation almost as laughable as the Warren Commission.

To this day, most believe the conspiracy theory that two planes brought down the towers.

Big Tech Has Made Billions Off the 20-Year War on Terror

FAA tapes destroyed

Hijack 'suspects' alive and well

Alleged Hijackers May Have Trained At U.S. Bases

A New Look at the 9/11 Commission

9/11 Commission Heads: We Still Don't Know the Whole Truth of 9/11
2006-08-09, CNN News

Book: Sept. 11 panel considered Pentagon probe

World Trade Center Collapse Investigation

A NATION CHALLENGED: THE SITE; Engineers Have a Culprit in the Strange Collapse of 7 World Trade Center: Diesel Fuel

Architects and Engineers for 9-11 Truth

• Dick Cheney knew the plane was coming for the Pentagon and had standing orders - Scty Maneta
• Bush/Cheney stalled the investigation and would not appear in court
• The explosive thermite was found in the wreckage, which burned for days
• The Dancing Israelis were discovered to be Mossad and had a video camera to document the event
• The buildings were designed to take an airplane hit
• Explosions were heard by a maintenance man, underneath one of the towers - heard on Howard Stern
• BBC announced the fall of Building 7 almost 30 minutes before it happened
• The evil villain was known and circulated immediately
• A major newscaster said it looked like a demolition. Once. Then never again.
• No planes flew. Except one Saudi plane containing friends of Bush
• there are several good documentaries on YouTube - there was a lot of science done
• There was no plane crash in Pennsylvania - it was pure theater
• the airport screenings are security theater
• the day before, Donald Rumsfeld announced they couldn't account for trillions of dollars
• Environment Protection Agency head Christie Whitman assured everyone the buildings' asbestos was safe to breathe

Who benefitted?

The Military Industrial Complex, as usual

The Homeland Security Complex founding and buildup, which continues its expansion today

Man, that's a lot of reference material.

Don't believe me - follow the links and research for yourself.

20 years later. We've done nothing. We bend to all invasions of freedoms - it's for the children.

It's never too late....

Space Force - a Special Edition

Warning:
lefty babbles skeptically about Space Force, in which he proves that Space Force ain't what it seems.



So, we have Space Force [insert deep voice with lots of echo].
I never really heard what it was about - just that we had it. We've been messing around in space for a long time: this is not our first ride.

Here's their site.

Here's their about page:

MISSION:
The USSF is a military service that organizes, trains, and equips space forces in order to protect U.S. and allied interests in space and to provide space capabilities to the joint force. USSF responsibilities include developing military space professionals, acquiring military space systems, maturing the military doctrine for space power, and organizing space forces to present to our Combatant Commands.


The Space Force was established under the Department of the Air Force.

What are we fighting against?
The page claims things like nuclear missiles. We can already see nuclear missiles. Our existing satellites can see a license plate on a car in detail. Then there's NORAD, which can also see all sorts of interesting things, like nuclear missiles and craft of unknown origin. They claim watching satellites and space debris. Sorry, guys, we already have every satellite and piece of junk cataloged very carefully, by the likes of Satview - Tracking satellites and Spacejunk in Real time. Oops - inconvenient facts.


This is Public information

1. JAPAN FIRM TO DEVELOP SATELLITE TO REMOVE SPACE DEBRIS
How do they know where it is without Space Force?

2. ROCKET LAB TO LAUNCH SATELLITES FOR US SPYSAT AGENCY AND NASA
Keep it in the open so no one will see it

3. Space debris is a major challenge as the chances of collision are high. If there is a collision, then the outgoing satellite or space vehicle will be totally damaged. At present the chances of near-by passage of space debris to working satellites is 20,000 approaches per week. This will steadily climb up to 50,000 close-by per week by 2050
How do they know where all of it is?

4. See all the satellites and space junk
Shit - Space Force vs web page. Only one can be correct.

5. Space Junk: Tracking & Removing Orbital Debris
Uh-oh

6. How Satellites Avoid Attacks And Space Junk While Circling The Earth

7. A global network of space surveillance sensors provide vital information on the location of satellites and space debris for the nation and the world. Maintaining space superiority is an emerging capability required to protect U.S. space assets from hostile attacks.
Are you going to tell us there's already a system in place?

So if we already have these capabilities, what is Space Force (aside from a huge bonus for the Military Industrial Complex)? Again?

Many suspect that some of our space weapons are actually pointed out, instead of at Earth. The Department of Defense never told me, so I remain neutral.


Warning 2: I (damn near) proved that Space Force is not what it's advertised as, but cannot say what it is.
 



Stupid Space Fact of the Day
A couple of years ago, I monitored the Space Station as it flew over my region. I could hear the Earthbound amateur radio guys contacting it. Fun day.

We've Done It

I joke about being part of Trump's Space Force.
I joke about Space Force.
I joke.

Yesterday I heard that India just successfully tested their satellite killer.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen - we have (already) weaponized space.
Seemingly tired of having enough hardware to blow up the planet ten times over, we moved the fun to space.

See a pattern?

Just a few short (evolutionary) years ago, we were beating each other with sticks and bones. Then canons, rifles, chains, guns, bigger guns, grenades, bombs, etc.


-------------------------> [Hey, who paid for this shit?]


-------------------------> [Hey, who benefits from this shit?]



As a guy with no interest in bombing anyone (except spammers), this is not a welcome thought. It's not like things are going to stop here.

As a guy trying to look at this from a larger perspective, it's saddening.
We're better than this.



If there is any other life out in that absolutely humongous universe, can you imagine what it thinks of us?

Soggy Cocker

Happy After July 4th, folks. Check the emergency rooms for your friends and neighbors because the fireworks were flying, as well as the limbs and digits. I hope your pets were ok during the BOOMs.

• The Girl Scouts of America have announced a cybersecurity badge. To earn it, they have to hack Nordstroms or Macys and deposit their stolen booty into Bitcoin, with a receipt.

Since Marshall's pool went up, he likes to go out to do his business, then take a dip before he returns. Whoever lets him in yells SOGGY COCKER so the other one can make sure there are towels to cover his favorite spots. This tends to happen at 12am, before bed. Since he's mostly deaf, the fireworks did not bother him. Last year there was barking.

In less pleasant Marshall news, we saw some blood in his mouth and took him to the vet. It's a growth and he's scheduled for surgery and biopsy next week. Your best wishes because it's going to come up benign are always appreciated. He is in no discomfort and his behavior is absolutely normal (whatever that means).

• Out driving the other day, I noted a sign. It said "Do not stop on railroad tracks." We need a sign for this? There are actually people who stop on railroad tracks? Of course there are. Some very large law firm made a lot of money right before the sign went up.

My buddy learned something new last week: letters come back to you if you fail to affix a stamp. Life is for learning.

• We know CNN has given up any pretense of decent journalism and pretty much makes things up at this point. After the recent very silly, unpresidential Trump tweet, CNN actually managed to locate the person who made it, got an 'apology', and threatened to publish his name and info at any point in the future. This, me hearties, is blackmail.
• Would Walter Cronkite do this?
• Have they gone insane?
• This has absolutely no relation to journalism.
• With the 'detective work', CNN has pissed off Reddit, where they discovered the artist. It is very dangerous to piss off Reddit, so things should get interesting shortly...
• If this bothers you, stop watching CNN.

I tend to misbehave. I'm particularly bad at funerals and churches. And weddings, which are technically funerals where you can smell your own flowers. My buddy is an alcoholic and I volunteered to go to a meeting for support. It turns out I also exhibit misbehavior at AA meetings...

• you do not tell anyone you're powerless over the effects of chocolate
• if asked to share, do not start out with "Three nuns walk into a bar..."
• noting that meetings are the place where you exchange your alcohol addiction for your coffee and cigarette addiction is also frowned upon
• breaking out into song and sighing while looking at your watch can earn you some pretty nasty looks
• telling the story about three hookers and so much Jack Daniels that you had to be told what you did with the donkey is very amusing, but should probably wait til long after the meeting is over

My friend thanked me profusely, noting that he felt so supported that he didn't need any more support for quite a while. Sounds like win/win to me.

• Everybody's favorite network, Faceyspaces, won another one in court, when a suit was thrown out over tracking users after they signed out. The judge said the plaintiffs did not show harm or prove a reasonable expectation of privacy.
• Solution 1: do not use Faceyspaces. I know you're surprised that I'd suggest this, but we must do what we must do.
• Solution 2: the tracking takes place via cookies. Disable cookies-at least 3rd party cookies. This may make FB behave strangely (moreso) but it's worth a shot.
• Solution 3: use browser addins that aggressively block and clear cookies - especially trackers. Ghostery will stop trackers and works on most, if not all, browsers. Firefox has a Self-Destructing Cookies addon, plus BetterPrivacy
• Solution 3+: configure your browser to 'forget' history when you close it. This will remove all cookies, data, and history. It can also be accomplished by using the Private Browser Window in most browsers: the moment you close the window, all data is erased. It is important to close this window/browser or your data will be available to the next places you visit.
• FYI: cookies are tiny text files that sit on your computer, placed there by sites and ad networks. They remain after you log out or leave pages, where all subsequent sites can read them. How did one site know you looked at lawnmowers on another site? Cookies. How can they possibly know to put an ad for Tampax on a completely different site? Cookies. How is a detailed profile of you built up on Faceyspaces and across huge ad networks? Cookies. How can all of your information eventually be matched up, with income and other personal details? Cookies. Your choice.

A huge WWE leak has exposed the data of three million wrestling fans. The bad news is somewhat mitigated by the fact that most of them don't know their own data.

• You're probably asking yourself "How do I protect myself from this ransomware and malware he's always going on about?" Here are some safe strategies:

1. Don't go online.
2. Don't do anything stupid.
3. Keep your operating system up to date/patched
4. Don't do anything stupid.

Parents have been warned over exploding fidget spinners powered by Bluetooth. Yes, everything's better with Bluetooth. Related: do not get them stuck on your penis.

• Read about the Military Industrial Complex's war for our data. Article references the UK but the idea remains the same.

The War on War

War on everything is getting boring, deadly, and horribly expensive.  I propose the War on War.

-----------------------------------

Just in case you don't think your tax dollars aren't being properly transferred to the Military Industrial Complex, let's take a run over to Afghanistan, where the troops we're training to take over after we leave are killing each other.  You know, if they just stayed there and we just stayed here, they could keep killing each other forever, as they have been doing for longer than we have been a country.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Marcus Banwell got caught shoplifting in a rather painful way - right after throwing up some Scotch Bonnet peppers (arguably the hottest available).  These peppers are so hot you need to cut them with gloves on.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

There was another shooting, this time in New York.  Before the gun-grabbers continue their insane wailing, I'd like to point out that Mayor "Please Protect Us from Soda" Bloomberg stated that some of the shooting victims were shot by the police.

Perhaps we need a War on Police.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

According to a study, full-frontal nudity on television is up 6300% this year.   Well, that's news to me.  I don't recall ever seeing full-frontal nudity on television, unless I was watching porn.    The key to the story is yet another group trying to save us from the evils of the semi-naked body.  Yes, they're referring to pixellated naked people, not real naked people.  By this logic, everyone on tv is naked - their clothes are in place of the pixellation.

Heaven help us from people helping us into heaven.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The yahoos with whom I toil daily are having a fantasy football draft today.  If I hear one more word about sports today, I'm going to perform the Emesis Dance upon the lot of them.

People call me nerdy, yet they're spending hours arguing over sports teams that aren't real.  Perhaps when they're done (if they ever get done), we'll argue about whose god is better.

Meanwhile, I'm having my own fantasy porn star draft.  Who's winning now?