The BLM-ites have been very busy lately, knocking down statues, whether by demand or by themselves. Some cities have taken to removing statues themselves, in the middle of the night, to avoid violence or cow mutilation.
The statues themselves are very angry and meeting this moment at an undisclosed location, under a mountain, in Colorado, where the president goes in the event of a threat. The statues are in the process of getting together their demands, but at this point, they wish to throw stones back at unruly mobs and to spend some time traveling in Europe.
Meanwhile, next on the hitlist is Mt Rushmore. BLM demands all of the existing presidents be removed and replaced with Kanye, Beyonce, Chairman Mao, and Tupac. They say the existing presidents probably thought about slavery once and they also represent the White Patriarchy, so they must go. Today.
A 30-something man has died from the Flying AIDS after attending a Flying AIDS party. I keep thinking there was some way he could have avoided this.
I was let loose the other day. My keepers thought it would be good for me to get outside and offend people in-person, as opposed to online. I took the opportunity, in spite of having to get off the couch to do it. I had only had 2 or 3 naps, so I wasn't in great shape. We were off on a mission of peace, to see Mom and take her out for a milkshake or something, as it was 97. Since it was 97, Mom had taken most of her heavy gear off and was down to a parka (Mom is always cold). Her latest fashion accessory is this... thing... it looks like something out of the wild west, and functions like a mask. Or at least that's what we think it does... Mom's known to do Odd Stuff from time to time.
It was a real treat. We were treated to pouring rain, 50' lines, no chocolate ice cream, the dog and I protesting via barks and lack of masks, and Mrs lefty's ice cream melting down her hand so badly it looked like she just thrust her hand in the ice cream and was turning very white.
And this is why they let me outside today?
A group of 83 millionaires, including a Disney and Jerry from Ben&Jerry's, are calling for higher taxes on the rich to cover the Flying AIDS. In other news, 83 millionaires have been found dead. 83 billionaires are persons of interest
I was just asked to move the thingy thing in the bathroom.
Is it just me?
There is yet another reality contest show, this time around construction. These bright lights have to build something by a certain time.
Construction is extremely important, except when these people do it.
It's only a matter of time til the shows feature getting on the subway, walking to the corner, calling an Uber, and who can get to Faceyspaces first. Let's look on the positive side: none of these shows involve Kardashians. The Kardashians will lay anything but bricks. Or caucasians.
The New York Times says the Flying AIDS lingers in the air.
The WHO is skeptical of this.
Pete Townshend has no opinion.
The Washington Post says it remains in the air but ascends as a 90 degree angle, then bounces off buildings.
Pornhub is skeptical, but always had a thing for masks, mainly of a rubber variety.
The president has wished it all away.
The vice president has prayed it all away.
Amazon will happily sell it to you, along with masks and those little plastic things that hold your shelves up.
BLM says it's racist.
The Wall Street Journal says 'Quit Chrome. Safari and Edge are just better browsers.' Editors say the tech columnist is very sorry and will never again post without his meds.
Pro Tip: if your wife, or any woman, shows you a picture of a newborn baby, the correct response is not "Oh look, a baby." I know this now.
Cutting out these sorts of phrases is a new goal of
What do you say to someone you spent literally every day with for 13 years?
We miss you, Marshall.
Gone 2 years.
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