It's a Good Thing People Don't Have to Remember to Breathe

Speaking of net neutrality, Verizon throttled Santa Clara County, California, fire company's 'unlimited' data plan. This fire company happened to be fighting the fires out there and had to pay Verizon more money to end the serious throttling, even after explaining about the fires. As this is America, there is a lawsuit.

What have we learned? That cable companies' definition of Unlimited is Somewhat Unlimited.

• This morning's 7am noise was something very loud that required a backup beeper. Wife said it was a neighbor, this time digging up his driveway. I've seen this drive... you could eat off it and use it to calibrate your level.
• I've known the owner since we moved in. He had this child with a frightening look in his eyes. Wife and I looked at each other and agreed that there are many dead animals in his back yard, because that's how psychopaths start. This same child just bought the house from his parents. I'll bet he's trying to unearth his ex-pets. Maybe he's making amends. Maybe he's making dinner.. who knows?

The electric company in Naperville, IL, wants to put electronic 'smart' meters on everybody's service, with no opt-out. Some people in Naperville were very opposed to this, as everyone should be, and filed suit to stop it. At very least, this is a violation of the Fourth Amendment (search and seizure). Additionally, this would allow the electric company to determine electrical usage and a profile of the user. This is why these meters must be opposed. You know this data will be sold.

The judge agreed that this is Search. However, and there's always a however:

.....because the collection of smart meter data allows utilities to reduce costs, provide cheaper power to consumers, encourage energy efficiency and increase grid stability, it is very much in the government’s interest and can be allowed.

Although a Constitution fan, it's possible I could be ignorant of certain legal concepts. If any of you know, please chime in.

The Fourth, as indicated above, guarantees against illegal search and seizure. This means the police require a warrant to enter your house, which had better cover whatever they're looking for. A perfect example of this is drunk driver stops. Although somehow ruled legal, the police have no reasonable suspicion that anyone driving on the road is drunk, yet they stop you. Additionally, if they find money on you and seize it, that is also illegal (although needs to be fought in some states).

Here's where things get shaky: The Amendments, to my knowledge, are solid; not to be balanced against government interest. Here's a hypothetical: your local police department (or SWAT) breaks down your door, without a warrant, looking for guns. They find guns and confiscate them. In court the homeowner's lawyer claims a clear violation of the Fourth Amendment.  Let's face it - he's right. This is a clear cut case. The judge agrees: this is illegal Search and Seizure. However, and there's always a however, the government's interest in removing guns is reasonable and the case is dismissed.

Do you see my problem?
It's your problem too.

• Still have a Faceyspaces account? They want to figure out if you're legitimate or a fake news provider. You will be assigned a rating on how trustworthy you are.
• Since when is it the job of social media to indicate your trustworthiness? By what standards is this judged? Can standards apply? Will the political leanings of the decider affect the answer?

I watch LivePD. I have a strange affection for police shows, aside from the previous rant about the War on Drugs.  There's another show called Nightwatch, which is live ambulance crews in different states. LivePD is very instructive. Today I learned that it's perfectly ok to wear a bra and shorts, but only if you're female and have a humongous gut that hangs over your waist or sticks straight out, like a beer gut. These grown women are on national tv looking like this.

The criminals are a lot different than years back. They stand there and argue with the police, then get righteously indignant when the police want to pat them down. Don't forget that everybody's a lawyer. When the guy in his house fires a gun and the police taze him and carry him away, he's screaming the entire time that they didn't have a warrant to enter his house. This guy screamed at the top of his lungs for about 15 minutes. The producer of the show, who apparently hates his audience, kept the cameras rolling the entire time. I have to give the police credit for not tazing a large percentage of people they meet. This is precisely why I'm not allowed to have a taser.

I also found out that everybody is related, cops and criminals. Everybody calls everybody else 'bro'. Ok, mostly the men. Some lady called the police because somebody parked in her spot and is disrespecting her. It's a great thing it's not illegal to be an asshole: we'd have to triple the number of police on the streets.

Here's one tip: you can get out of a strip search if you defecate all over yourself.

• I was minding my business when I got a picture in text. It's my best friend, standing next to Jeff Lynne, of ELO.  People around me live very exciting lives. I make shit up and put it on a blog.
• I take that back: a couple of porn stars follow me on Twitter. [@leftystrat]

Today was another one of those days.

You know them.... the days where something doesn't go right, then nothing else goes right. It's kinda like a dark slapstick comedy that rolls downhill like a snowball, smashing at house at the bottom.

We're watching tv. Wife decides to go up for a nap. I decide to stretch out on the sofa for my own nap. Just as I drift off, Wife comes down the steps. We watch 10 minutes of tv and Wife goes up for another nap. I dare not try again because she'll be down again. Watching her nap is like watching a tennis ball. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up Down. The joke is always on me because she doesn't sleep.

I need breakfast, because it's getting close to 2pm. In the kitchen is leftover pizza, which I can't wait to eat. Oops, the ants have won this battle. You do NOT screw with a man's pizza, especially this pizza. I killed each one of them individually, using different methods. The real problem here is how to discourage other ants from trying this sort of thing. The Mongols would cut off their enemies' heads and put them on posts at the city limits, as a warning to anyone else who would try it. Have you ever tried to cut off 100 ants' heads? And put them on posts, as a warning to any other ants who might try it? Maybe if I staple them to the pizza box.

I go back to the couch and immediately kick something very heavy, creating pain in my foot worse than the pain developing in my head. Why was it in the way? Because we moved it. No matter where we move something, one of us will kick it or trip over it. If we nailed it to the ceiling, we'd find a way to trip over it.

I want a bigass tablet, but they're prohibitively expensive. I have my old first generation large tablet, which I retrieved. Annnnd there's no charging cable. This was back when every company used their own cables. I saw this cable within the last 2 weeks, so naturally I couldn't find it. I looked where I put all the cables I find. Nope. It was difficult to see because my house has no natural light. It's so bright you'll burn out your eyes if you go outside, but most of my house is black. The house was designed by someone with one of those diseases where they can't get sun or they'll develop herpes or something. As a consequence, the windows were placed so the sun won't shine in the house unless it rises in the north and sets in the south. We used to have this really cool halogen lamp that lit up the entire floor. They were made illegal because they fell over and started fires. I'm perfectly willing to take that chance, but nooooo. You can't buy a 200w bulb anymore, so unless I want to have 12 lamps in my living room, I'm screwed. So Wife gives me one of her 427 flashlights; the only one she can find. As soon as I point it where I need to look, it flickers. Of course it flickers, it's a super bright LED flashlight. Technology has definitely improved our lives.. the bulbs can flicker much longer these days.

Turning around, I tripped over my shoes.

I took a pause to reflect and for inspiration, at which point a large Styrofoam package fell on my head. I'm doing well - I haven't killed anyone in a long time. I switch on the small halogen light, which is very efficient. It gets so hot, it could cook the (ant-covered) pizza in the kitchen. It smells because dust lands on it. Well, dust plus the shade I made out of the skulls of my enemies. Giving up, I decide to heat something in the oven. On the way to the kitchen, I kicked something...

What is today's lesson? 

It's harder to remember your medicine on weekends. 

And make sure that when you put the heads of enemies on posts, the posts are UL approved for use in your city.

• I get more entertainment from ticket companies than some of the acts they promote. Today's was Jason Bonham's Led Zeppelin Evening. Right under that was the music of Michael Jackson vs. Justin Timberlake. 
• I'm going to give Jason Bonham a pass: his father was John Bonham, of Led Zeppelin. When the Zep played the O2 center in England, Jason played drums. So you figure if he played with Led Zeppelin, he might be good. However, and there's always a however, the music of Michael Jackson vs. Justin Timberlake? And you have to pay to watch it? No, this is obviously a leftover April Fools joke. People who aren't Michael Jackson or Justin Timberlake are going to dress up and sing their songs, in some sort of competitive game, and you are expected to fork over money to watch it? What a cruel joke....

Speaking of cruel jokes, RIP Senator John McCain (R-Hell). I am repeatedly reminded not to speak ill of the dead. Repeatedly. So I'll just say that the good senator never met a country that wouldn't look better with bombs falling on it. Lockheed paid tribute to him publicly and immediately regretted it. Because John was a Class A Warmonger, billions went to Lockheed. Of course they regret his passing.

• Next time you're around people (a place I try not to be), try this one out: "That's not your real nose."