Tuesday, November 22, 2016

The Unsatisfactory Crunch of Ladyfingers

A warm hello to my readers outside of the US. I hope you enjoy it here and stop by frequently.

Submitted for the sake of awareness and amusement, because none of us use iDevices: there is yet another lockscreen bypass. Long story short, don't use Siri. If that isn't an option, don't allow Siri access to the lockscreen. I've seen Siri's movies: trust me - you're not missing anything.

  • Before we do our Happy Dance, this is satire.

Microsoft just joined the Linux Foundation. As a platinum member.  Which costs $500,000 yearly for dues (the price of one small cabin in the woods in Redmond).

I read about this yesterday and it has taken me this long to type it out. It may take me a longer time to fully digest it. MS already uses Ubuntu for its cloud-based big-data services. Former chief Steve Ballmer once said, "Linux is a cancer." Current ThermionicEmissions chief leftystrat says, "Windows is not an operating system, Windows is a virus." MS claims this will allow it to work closer with the open source community.

In other news, Lions have joined the Gazelle Foundation.

  • President-elect Trump has asked his appointees to sign a pledge that once they leave government service, they will not lobby for five years. You don't have to like him, but this is a pretty good move. I suspect we'll see a few more. DISCLAIMER: As we know, I didn't vote for him.
  • Speaking of president, there are quiet a number of people heavily invested in our election and its result. Yesterday I heard a Canadian stating that he was backing Trump all the way. I know a Brit and a Welshman singing his praises, as if they lived in the US. They were enthralled with his manner of governing and policies and said so. Most are anti-Social Justice Warrior, which might explain things.
  • Here is a list of other people being considered for Cabinet positions:
  • Janet Reno
  • James Clapper
  • Billy Mays
  • Several parrots named Eric
  • Pat Paulsen
  • Milton Berle
  • Paula Deen
  • Tito Jackson
  • Tracy Lords

Speaking of Wales, Cardiff Airport is getting a third bus stop! This is some interesting Welsh satire. I hope. You have to be careful with a language that has no vowels.

  • Today's Word: gynocentrism
  • Along with this Word is the story of a transgender woman, transitioned to a white man, who now is no longer diverse enough to be a college diversity officer. Never mind why colleges need a diversity officer.

For those of you who know someone who uses Faceyspaces Messenger, don't open "Photo_9166.svg" - it's ransomware. With that in mind, make sure you have a backup of all your data, phone(s) and computer(s), in case of something like this. Also DON'T CLICK ON ANYTHING. If in doubt, use the Law of WWlD - What Would leftystrat Do: nothing. Consider everything a potential problem until you can verify it, even from a friend. Put on your Security Hat and don't get caught with your data down.

  • Betcha didn't know this: Women raping men are "merely expressing retaliation against men for enforcing rape culture"

I have had no end of fun at Kanye's expense. Now that he has had an involuntary commitment and psych evaluation, I hope he's ok. I hope he's ok for BigAss and the kids and himself. And so I can have some more fun at his expense.

  • A Malawi man has been sentenced to two years hard labour for having unprotected sex while HIV-positive. This is even worse than two years hard labor.

A UK author is helping schoolchildren re-imagine (rewrite) Cinderella for a new generation, because it's sexist.  Let's see - Cinderella vs The Patriarchy. Her evil stepbrothers are keeping her down, so with the help of a group of online Social Justice Warriors, she busts out to run for Congress, which is a birthright of all women.  Her evil stepbrothers are forced to attend Any Old University, where they will be indoctrinated to the ways of Feminism and learn to hate all men, especially themselves. Cinderella meets a man but declines to propose marriage because she'd have white children and doesn't want to do that to the world. So she, with the help and sisterhood of Wonderful Stepsisters, runs for president, where anyone who doesn't vote for her is sexist.

Guess which part of the above has not come from real life...

  • Wondering what to get someone else's kids for the holidays? You may want to avoid anything from Samsung (unless you really really hate kids). I suggest something that makes a LOT of noise. A xylophone, a set of drums, a plastic box that makes all sorts of random noises. Remember: the kids will love it and the parents will hate you forever. Win/win.

The use of chlorine weapons is suspected in Aleppo, making this year's Nobel Peace Prize a 3-way tie between Obama, Trump, and Bashar al-Assad.

  • How to survive Thanksgiving:
  • don't go
  • get drunk well in advance
  • everybody eats first, so they'll all be too tired to fight. Except Aunt Irma, who can fight in her sleep.
  • Random Sporting Event and beer

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