Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Happy Hendrix Holiday

Every day is a Hendrix day but November 27 is Jimi's birthday.  Many Happys, Jimi.

  • San Francisco's Municipal Railway system was hit by a ransomware attack. This allowed the passengers to ride free, as the ticket system was down. Insert joke about malware not always being bad. The hackers demanded $73,000. The Railway folks vow not to pay ransom. From my reading, they might want to tighten up the system in one or 1,000 places.
  • Just in - in a Monty Python-esque bit of news, the hacker was hacked. Yes, the fine gentleman responsible for the Muni ransomware hack had his email address hacked by a security researcher. How? He guessed the security question, allowing him to reset the password on the email account. Let that be a lesson to you, whatever that means. Oh yeah, strong account security, on everything including throwaway email accounts.

2016 hasn't been too good a year, what with the election nonsense, musicians and others dying, and over 900 recorded security breaches. And those are the recorded ones. Not counted are the hushed and the as-yet-undiscovered ones. There are two types of businesses: the types who have been hacked and the types that don't know they've been hacked. Read the link or just take my word for it. Pass the tissues, please.

  • if you have any sort of iCloud account and are receiving calendar or sharing spam, do not reply or decline. If you do, the account will be flagged as live and you'll get more spam. 

Over in the UK, vegetarians and vegans have discovered that the five pound notes are made with a substance derived from animal fat. My singular (identified) vegan reader is going to be glad they fled the UK. How do I know I have a vegan reader? These Google blogger controls are very sophisticated.

  • Russia is a funny place. A holocaust-themed ice dance is drawing condemnation. Hmm... ice... probably not Springtime for Hitler then... Hitler on Ice? That's Not my Nazi? Six Million Jews Can't be Wrong?

A giant shield built to cover the damaged nuclear reactor in Chernobyl has been moved into place.  In other news, the Kremlin has announced that Lenin's death certificate has been filed.

  • If you're thinking about a night out in Brussels, be aware of a Dancing Tax. Yes, a tax on dancing. And by all means, do NOT go to the bathroom.

Are you, by chance, a Canadian who was caught drunk driving? Those wacky Canuck lawmakers have a punishment for you.. worse than death.. you may be forced to listen to Nickelback. I thought this was against the Geneva Convention but what do I know...

  • Who's got time to watch the 37 Harry Potter films? Watch this shortcut instead.

Today's Helpful Tip: How to stop feeling guilty about everything.
* Shoot yourself.

Next week: World Peace
If you're looking for somewhat less deadly suggestions, although I can't imagine why, try here.

  • Equality strikes again! Congress, bastion of rationality, has taken women being required to sign up for the draft off the table. Oddly enough, no feminists demanding equality has complained about this. Equality means equality in everything. Or rather, equality when it suits them.
  • Having said that, I don't think men should register either.

If you use Firefox through Tor, turn off javascript (like we do anyway) or use another browser until a patch is released. This is for Windows only. Try using the NoScript addin.

  • The New York Times asks the question: Can tv be fair to Muslims? ThermionicEmissions answers: not til long after they're fair to the left-handed.

The FDA has agreed to Ecstasy trials for PTSD patients. It's an exciting time for those with PTSD. And before you ask, you can't just go out and get some PTSD. You can sign up to serve in Afghanistan but I don't recommend it.

  • An Australian man handed over a breast implant to police, thinking it was evidence of a crime. The 'evidence' was revealed to be a jellyfish. Australian breast implant manufacturers call foul and demand jellyfish alter their appearance to look less like implants.

Hillary Clinton presented a humanitarian award to Katy Perry the other night. Dubbed 'The Axis of Incompetence Tour,' no one can figure out why. A failed politician known for corruption and lying, presenting an award to a singer known for her breasts.

  • President-elect Donald 'Me' Trump has announced he is cutting ties with his businesses to focus on running the country, leaving them to his children. Ivanka is excited, hoping for a salary rivaling Chelsea Clinton's.

To no one's surprise, Marshall the cocker is running the house, to an unprecedented degree. He used to bark to go outside. Now he makes a pitiful whining noise. Having discovered whining works, he is now doing a full scale study on Human Behavioral Patterns and whining most of the time, just to see how many times he can make the humans do things until they start refusing. By 9:15am, he has gotten fed twice, been served cold bottled water, and gone outside four times. He counts the experiment as a success and it will be peer-reviewed and written up in Dog Psychology magazine. The humans, out of their minds from constantly being bossed around by a quadruped, are looking into a doggie door, which will not work, due to other quadrupeds possibly using it.

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