Sunday, November 6, 2016

Explosive Farts

What - you think I'm kidding?
A patient was burned during surgery when the laser being used ignited a fart. Who says Silent But Deadly isn't deadly? They did her a real cervix.

  • I'm not entirely sure of the country, but on the first of every month, there's a man who dresses as a white rabbit and waves at people by the river in Barnes. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Mexico is now celebrating Day of the Dead. We call that Kardashian Viewer Night.

  • To support those with cancer, someone has decided November is No Shave month. The Social Justice Warriors want everyone to know that raising cancer awareness is oppressive because not all people who have prostates are men. Apparently anatomy is no longer a concern. I'd just like to say I'm the proud owner of a prostate and I'm a man.
  • I'd also like to insert, as it were, some professional medical advice. Ejaculation is very healthy for the prostate, so get yourself going or have someone else do it. If you think I'm messing with you, do the research or ask your urologist (because we all have urologists).

Speaking of Social Justice, a conservative group on the campus of University of Redlands (no, I don't know where that is either) has been banned from holding a Funeral for Halloween due to an administrator's concerns that such a display would cause "emotional and psychological harm" to the campus community.  One concern was that the event was not clearly labeled as satire. Within a few years, this culture will eat itself. Colleges are already finding enrollment down.

  • In England, hundreds of operations were canceled after malware hacked the hospital system. That was the headline, but the malware had to get there somehow. Much like the Internet of Things (IoT), medical devices are shit on security. Whether it's ransomware or a hack, these are among the last devices you want hacked. They had to shut the whole system down to find the malware but they remained open for other services. Lock em down, folks. This follows the crap we put in our houses.

Speaking of England, Admiral, a car insurance company, is going to price first-time insurance based upon Faceyspaces posts. Apparently they've developed an algorithm that will tell them what kind of a risk you are by your social media posts. It would be a blessing in the US, as none of us here uses Faceyspaces, so it would be free (well, the article doesn't exactly say that). Pictures of you drinking or drunk off your butt will not be scanned, so you're in luck there. One of the things they're looking for is detail, like saying 7pm instead of "tonight". This means that you'll get penalized if you care about privacy and post when you're not going to be home and specifically what time you're not going to be home. This program is voluntary.

Let's also consider the US programs that plug a sensor into your car to check your driving style/statistics. Add this to the black box and the car's cell modem tracking and you have a hell of a lot of information leaking out of you and your car. After that, it will be sold to advertisers, to better target the kinds of ads you receive. Sweet, eh?

  • Did you know you can log into a certain satellite and watch for illegal fishing vessels? One vessel just got busted this way. It's very nice to stop illegal fishing and makes you feel good. Right up until you realize that a ton of these satellites are looking at YOU. Sit with that for a moment.

Pardon me for being late, but the one browser that doesn't hate Blogspot started hating it. Unfortunately for you, I found a different one.

  • Bad news for white women: they have to stop wearing name tag bracelets. It's an issue of 'cultural appropriation'. Last week, Vanessa Hudgens (sigh) got in Deep Doo-Doo because she culturally appropriated the braids in her hair. I'm against it too, but only because she looks so much better without them.

I know Halloween is behind us (thankfully) but the Philly area made the list of Top Haunted Attractions. Places like City Hall, the building the State Police just raided for suspected election fraud, and the Parking Authority. All pretty frightening indeed.

  • Ever wonder how Terry Gilliam (Monty Python) made those wild animations?  What - you didn't? Well, here's how anyway...

There is an awful lot of suspicion about skullduggery in the upcoming election. Here to save the day is Russia, which has offered to provide election monitors. This is the best and worst thing I've read all season.

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