Sunday, June 23, 2019

This Blog Needs More Diversity and Inclusion

Some guy on tv is arguing that more diversity is needed in government, to celebrate a large pool of skills and foster inclusion.

He went on to say he bases himself on Martin Luther King.
I'm not MLK's biographer, but my understanding is that Dr. King wanted black people to elevate themselves, not be given preference because of their color.



ThermionicEmissions would like to thank the president for not bombing Iraq. Or Iran. We predicted the warmongers would win and thus far, they haven't. We need to eradicate constant war and focus on Home.




Entertainment News

  • Led Zeppelin's legal team will be headed back to court over the charges they stole the intro to Stairway to Heaven. The last trial was set aside because the judge didn't give the correct instructions to the jury. The forty attorneys for the Zep expect their side will do well.
  • There is a new Adam Sandler movie.. but who cares?



Florida News

A Florida man was arrested after dancing naked and "trying to have relations with a railing" at McDonald's. McDonalds now serves aphrodisiacs?

A Florida man told deputies the cocaine on his nose was not his.

An Uber driver's ear detached during a fight at a Florida airport.
Spontaneously?hot


Philly News

A Philly woman was fatally stabbed in a dispute over a parking space.
This is normal in a city that believes triple parking is a God-given right.




Dear lefty:
  • Why do so many young ladies post naked pictures of themselves on Reddit?
  • To answer the question accurately, I will need the exact locations of the pictures.



As I type this, the 90 year old neighbor is mowing her lawn. Again. Weekly.
I should probably feel bad I have to be forced to mow mine every few weeks.
We tried to get a service to do both lawns, but she says she likes mowing. Somehow, the list of things I want to be able to do when I'm 90 does not include mowing. Hell, the list of things I want to do now doesn't include mowing.

90 - wow.




I know someone who found out, overnight, he was going into hospice due to  cancer. What do you say in this situation? We don't deal well with death as a society to begin with...

After a period of deep introspection, I decided we need some up to date greeting cards
  • Sorry You're Dying
  • Sorry I Gave You Herpes
  • Can I Have Your Girlfriends (When You Die)?
  • Sorry Your Social Media Accounts Got Hacked
  • I Love to Sing (at funerals)
Hallmark has not responded to my suggestions yet.




Speaking of death and introspection, there will be an auction of the late Burt Reynolds' possessions soon. The items range from credit cards to boots to his one-off Camaro for the Bandit movies.

You and I are nobody (I think). We are extremely unlikely to see our Stuff auctioned after we go wherever we go, if we go at all. 

Think about it: somebody had to go into his house and collect these things. 
Would you want your entire life to be auctioned off upon your passing? ("I won't care" is one acceptable answer.)

What kind of Stuff will be found post-mortem?
Your collection of 1970s Playboys
Farrah Fawcett and Kim Karsdashian posters
A drawer full of condoms, way past their expiration date
The chair you farted in for the last 30 years of your life
Your collection of belly button lint (from others)
27 small hard drives full of 1980s porn
43 used socks
The password to your Faceyspaces account

It's damn creepy, from the point of view of the living.
It also raises way too many ugly philosophical questions.





  • I have a lot of trouble remembering things said to me yesterday, but I can identify some of the officers on LivePD by name (including the dogs).
  • I have a lot of trouble remembering things said to me yesterday, but



Why is it that we can't bring a 4oz bottle on a plane but you can walk through our southern border?  Apparently Security Theater does not apply across the board...






Don't you want to kill me?

No comments:

Post a Comment