Thursday, June 20, 2019

Legalize Lawn Darts!

WHat - you don't capitalize the second letter of sentences?
I keep trying to figure out why I do this. I suspect it's my ADD, smacking my dyslexia around.



The Vatican says people cannot choose or change genders.
This will come as quite a shock to the people who already have.

Perhaps they say Outrageous Stuff to take attention away from their hobbies.




Dear lefty:
  • I heard that children as young as two are using the internet.
  • At least they have an excuse for acting like a two year old.




The British conservative party (The Screamin' Starchies) introduced the first 47 candidates to replace the other lady who left. The issue is not that there are 47 candidates.. the issue is that one of the candidates is mildly attractive, which has thrown the entire election into chaos. The British Dental Association is involved, asking how they can possibly live up to the standard of perfectly normal teeth. The news outlets are looking to hire style commentators. The Chinese already have cheap knockoffs of her dresses. The British Hat Consortium has come unglued because she hasn't been seen wearing one of those conservative, laid back hats, the size of a small horse.

The candidate in question, Lady Fah Fah Fah Hosehead Knickers, blamed the entire brouhaha on Trump, silencing the controversy permanently.




Da Blooz

Funny how stuff works.
I came about my blues lessons by second generation blues players, like Led Zeppelin, Jeff Beck, and Eric Clapton; only I didn't know it. They were simply idols.

Around 1980, Stevie Ray Vaughan broke and took heads off with his fire and strong blues playing. SRV introduced the blues to everyone, including people who never heard of it.

Stevie made me curious, so I went back to do some exploring.
Listening to the three Kings, Albert, BB, and Freddie (RIP all), I began to see where SRV picked up his licks. Albert King immediately drew my attention because I recognized where Stevie got most of his licks. There's audio and video evidence of the two performing together, which must be seen. T Bone Walker was an early bluesman who had a heavy influence on future rockers, as did the spiritual Robert Johnson. He was the subject of Crossroads, with Ralph Macchio and Steve Vai.  If you listen to SRV before he hit big, you'd hear the influence of Eric Clapton, which jumps right up and grabs your ear.

It's mind-expanding to listen to the old masters and realize where my second generation heroes got it from. They sped it up and distorted the tones, but it's all there - they just renamed it Rock.




  • Once again, a reminder to make sure you don't expose Remote Desktop Protocol to the internet. There is a patch from Microsoft - install it. There are at least two very serious backdoors that will infect your computer and make your information no longer yours. RDP has no security. It should not be anywhere near the internet.




California, a small planet west of Arizona, will be extending full health benefits to illegal aliens.

People keep re-electing these politicians. Apparently they, like Bernie Sanders, believe everything is free. The designation 'illegal' has no meaning for them. TIP: Identify as an illegal alien; you'll get full benefits. Within a year, I expect to have a pass for robbing banks too.




  • Oxfam, a popular charity, got caught during an investigation with a culture of sexual abuse of the people they're supposed to be helping, some children. The company ignored the behavior. Oxfam said they're very sorry (for getting caught) and they'd do everything they could (to avoid getting caught). Further, to fix the problem, they will be hiring the Catholic church's public relations firm.




Joe Biden came out of the gate swinging. I prefer the Biden who did Goofy Stuff... it's difficult to take him seriously, especially when there are no women to fondle. It must be like when Al Franken went into politics... a comic trying to get people to take him seriously. Trump's response: did someone teach him to read?

All of this has been verified in a Quinni.... Quinnipee.... Quinnipeepee... popular poll.





If you have a Whirlpool dryer in the UK, you are advised to unplug it in an immediate fashion, lest it catch fire. Whirlpool said it's very sorry (for getting caught) and safety is its first priority. They're proud of their record, only taking four years to deal with the problem, and only after the government got involved. They are committed to fixing the problem (not getting caught again) and have turned down all requests to appear on the news or at polo matches. They will modify any defective units (about 500,000) or offer a discount on a new dryer, which will catch fire more spectacularly. All new Whirlpool appliances come with fire extinguishers, which are illegal in the UK because the firefighter union complained it takes away jobs.









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